Women are better at reading men

[Darren2013]

It seems like it is the case that women are better at reading men than men are at reading women. I mean men are more likely to misread a woman when it comes to buying signals when there really is nothing there except just her friendly personality or maybe she just likes to compliment people she thinks are good looking but doesn't mean she wants to go out with them. I mean how common is it to find threads from men who turn out to misread the signals?

 

It is embarrassing to misread signals. I would rather take the chance of missing the signals of genuine interest than to think there is a genuine signal there when there's nothing there.

 

But women are better in tune with their 6th sense or intuition and likely they know when a man has a crush on them without him having to verbally communicate that. Even if he is careful to conceal his interest by making sure there's nothing in his body language that reveals he is crushing on her she will at the very minimum suspect or know intuitively that he likes her.

 

Women are better able to judge the secret motives behind a man's actions. They can look beyond what he appears to put out on the surface. So very likely a woman knows what I am thinking if I am crushing on her. She knows if the real reason I am avoiding her or keeping a distance or not talking much is because I am crushing.

 

If she doesn't feel the same way then she will probably avoid back. I don't know how women pick up on that stuff but they do.

 

That's why a man has to work extra hard to be unpredictable because women are born to be natural CIA detectives and can read us better than we would like to admit.

[Got it]

It seems like it is the case that women are better at reading men than men are at reading women. I mean men are more likely to misread a woman when it comes to buying signals when there really is nothing there except just her friendly personality or maybe she just likes to compliment people she thinks are good looking but doesn't mean she wants to go out with them. I mean how common is it to find threads from men who turn out to misread the signals?

 

It is embarrassing to misread signals. I would rather take the chance of missing the signals of genuine interest than to think there is a genuine signal there when there's nothing there.

 

But women are better in tune with their 6th sense or intuition and likely they know when a man has a crush on them without him having to verbally communicate that. Even if he is careful to conceal his interest by making sure there's nothing in his body language that reveals he is crushing on her she will at the very minimum suspect or know intuitively that he likes her.

 

Women are better able to judge the secret motives behind a man's actions. They can look beyond what he appears to put out on the surface. So very likely a woman knows what I am thinking if I am crushing on her. She knows if the real reason I am avoiding her or keeping a distance or not talking much is because I am crushing.

 

If she doesn't feel the same way then she will probably avoid back. I don't know how women pick up on that stuff but they do.

 

That's why a man has to work extra hard to be unpredictable because women are born to be natural CIA detectives and can read us better than we would like to admit.

 

I think you are making a lot of assumptions and assessing skill sets, or lack there of, over a large swath of people.

[Toodaloo]

Darren - read the boards we are just as perplexed as you...

[Gloria25]

I think with age people get better at knowing what they want. So, when they see it, they don't waste time and make a decision.

 

I also think that when we spot someone similar to us in different ways - it also makes it easier to read them, be attracted to them, and respond to them in kind.

 

But outside of experience and commonalities making it easy to read people, I think that if you're not sure about the "buying signals" someone is sending you - you have to take the time to objectively assess them.

 

For one, look and see how they treat others. Are they naturally flirty with others? Is the way they treat you different than others?

 

Then, from your posts, you seem to be worried about someone trying to set you up at work? I hope that's not your crush you're talking about. Anyways, if you think someone is pumping you up cuz they have an agenda, then again - IMO, it takes observing them.

 

I'll use the manipulative chicks. Do they have a lot of male "friends"? What they have going on just doesn't add up (i.e. the stripper who's just "stripping to put herself through school"). How do they pay their bills? I mean, you don't see them with a 9 to 5 - but they are dressed a certain way, live a certain lifestyle and/or have a lot of male "friends".

 

Sometimes it gets hard, cuz like Scarlett Johansen in that "Don Jon" movie, she was attracted and stuff to Joseph Gordon Levitt, but she also had an agenda - which was to get a man she could control/trap. So, while the "buying signals" are there to show she is attracted/interested - she still ultimately may have ulterior motives (still a manipulation).

 

Eh, but ultimately, I think biologically we women are the more "sociable" ones of the gender. We have to get a "feel" for people so we can kiss our kids boo-boos, we are the matriarchs that keep the family glue together. We are more emotional and are always striving to "communicate". So yea, maybe we are better at reading people than men are.

[Tayken]

@OP....they might like to think they are, but the posts here is a testament to the truth.

[browneyes88]

I'm not so sure. I'm a woman, and more than once I have misread a guy. One who liked me, and I thought he didn't, and one vice versa come to mind immediately, and there are others.

[Mister Zen]

That's one theory.. or maybe women are just less genuine in their behavior.

[Got it]

That's one theory.. or maybe women are just less genuine in their behavior.

 

Bwahahahahahaha!!!! I am sorry, but really!?! Come on.

 

I think we have seen many threads, extremely recent threads, prove that both genders have individuals who are disingenuous in their dealings in the dating world.

[littleblackheart]

Don't you mean 'some people are better than others at reading other people'? Why does it have to be a gender thing?

I, for instance, can't read people for toffee - no facial expressions, no between-the-line stuff, I can't tell when someone is lying, etc...

 

This causes problems all the time at social events, and not just with a potential partner. I have to rely on my instincts which, in view of past experiences, in not always a good idea either...

 

My good friend, on the other hand, is an expert at reading human interactions - he can spot an interested party miles off, and can tell a good from a bad friend, can read any type of social cues etc., which makes him an excellent agony uncle.

 

 

Also, it seems like everyone has the potential to feel a bit at a loss when genuine feelings are concerned.

[Darren2013]

How can women misread a guy's intentions when women are naturally more in tune with an internal radar? I don't get it. How often have you as a woman read a guy all wrong?

[littleblackheart]

How often have you as a woman read a guy all wrong?

 

 

A hundred and one times in my case, at the very least (with men and women); when they aren't clear and open about what they want, when they expect you to guess their intentions or how they want you to react by innuendos or by saying the exact opposite of what they actually mean to say, when their body language doesn't match their words, when they plainly lie to get what they want, when you or they misinterpret a situation based on assumptions, when either judge someone too quickly,...

 

 

Maybe women are more in tune with an internal radar, but it doesn't necessarily mean their internal radar is right all the time.

 

 

The easiest way to avoid misunderstandings, though, is just to state clearly and honestly what your intentions are, no? Saves a lot of bother, in the end.

[autumnnight]

How can women misread a guy's intentions when women are naturally more in tune with an internal radar? I don't get it. How often have you as a woman read a guy all wrong?

 

More times than I can count. Although I now understand more the reasons.

 

I was oblivious to a guy's interest more than once because I was inexperienced and I wasn't used to thinking that someone MIGHT actually BE interested. As I grew more confident this type of reading got better.

 

The bigger problem for me is honestly believing someone means what they said and is above board/trustworthy when nothing could have been farther from the truth. I tend to assume everyone has good intentions and is trustworthy unless I have direct evidence otherwise. This tends to get me into trouble because there are some interesting and sad people out there.

[carhill]

Women are also, generally, more efficient networkers than men, so benefit from the group-think cloud, using the combined life experience of the group to benefit the one. Men tend to be rugged individualists, attempting to read women on their own, based on a singular life experience; inferior.

[toscaroscura]

More times than I can count. Although I now understand more the reasons.

 

I was oblivious to a guy's interest more than once because I was inexperienced and I wasn't used to thinking that someone MIGHT actually BE interested. As I grew more confident this type of reading got better.

 

The bigger problem for me is honestly believing someone means what they said and is above board/trustworthy when nothing could have been farther from the truth. I tend to assume everyone has good intentions and is trustworthy unless I have direct evidence otherwise. This tends to get me into trouble because there are some interesting and sad people out there.

 

Unlike the supposedly typical stereotype of a woman, I mean what I say and say what I mean. If I don't mean it, I won't say it. That got me into big trouble during my initial forays into dating when I assumed men (most people, really) operated the same way. Boy, was I wrong.

 

I think, socially speaking, women are more encouraged to be in touch with their feelings and analyze the motivations of others (especially men, in order to please them). But it sure doesn't mean they are right!

 

When we "intuit" about people, or try to dissect their motivations, it's hard not to project our own feelings onto our interpretations. Many times in my life I was sure about how another person felt, only to learn that it wasn't that way at all and most of what I thought of them was really my own prejudices getting in the way. My special woman powers definitely failed me.

[Gloria25]

How can women misread a guy's intentions when women are naturally more in tune with an internal radar? I don't get it. How often have you as a woman read a guy all wrong?

 

If women were experts in reading guys, books like "He's Just Not That Into You" wouldn't have emerged.

 

I think women are intuitive. But, I think that our emotions cloud our rational judgment. And then there's the whole "looking at it objectively from the outside" thing - in other words, it's hard to see what's going on when you're the person going through it, cuz you got emotions and stuff invested.

 

In my particular situation, I think I got it figured out. He's "attracted", but not "interested"...I respect his decision, I have to respect it. I can't bend anyone's arm and it's quite disturbing for anyone to want someone to do/not do feel/not feel something that other person wants.

 

But, what hurts is, I see him sneaking glances - and it throws me off. I start reading more into it. I guess I'm just gonna repeat the "he's attracted why he looks at you, BUT NOT interested" will keep me sane here.

[littleblackheart]

Unlike the supposedly typical stereotype of a woman, I mean what I say and say what I mean. If I don't mean it, I won't say it.

 

 

Same here. I'm not sure I understand where this particular stereotype comes from though, or at the very least I'm not sure I understand how it applies to women only. I have personal experience of men meaning and saying very different things (sometimes to purposefully provoke a misunderstanding) but wouldn't think to attribute it to the whole gender. I get that women are meant to express their emotions with less reserve than men, but it doesn't mean we have to let it cloud our judgement all the time.

[Darren2013]

More times than I can count. Although I now understand more the reasons.

 

I was oblivious to a guy's interest more than once because I was inexperienced and I wasn't used to thinking that someone MIGHT actually BE interested. As I grew more confident this type of reading got better.

 

The bigger problem for me is honestly believing someone means what they said and is above board/trustworthy when nothing could have been farther from the truth. I tend to assume everyone has good intentions and is trustworthy unless I have direct evidence otherwise. This tends to get me into trouble because there are some interesting and sad people out there.

 

 

Well not to mention that some folks are very good actors and very careful in covering up evidence and doing things that throw off people's suspicions.

[oldshirt]

It's called natural selection. Women that are real bad at reading men get beaten, raped and killed.

 

The women that can read men survive and live long enough to pass on the genes.

 

Being able to read men and have insight to their character and intentions is a life-critical skill that women must develop or they could end up in someone's secret dungeon or buried in a crawl space.

[Radu]

It seems like it is the case that women are better at reading men than men are at reading women. I mean men are more likely to misread a woman when it comes to buying signals when there really is nothing there except just her friendly personality or maybe she just likes to compliment people she thinks are good looking but doesn't mean she wants to go out with them. I mean how common is it to find threads from men who turn out to misread the signals?

Yeah, it is true.

Girls play with relationships even when they have dolls, there is some biological proof that they are better at reading body language, and many also have an interest in psychology/sociology [even more of an advantage].

 

However, they often go on the deep end, many times even getting into too high complexity.

They have troubles seeing the forest for the trees.

 

It is embarrassing to misread signals. I would rather take the chance of missing the signals of genuine interest than to think there is a genuine signal there when there's nothing there.

It is, a little.

But that kind of thinking leads to failure by default, when you don't try at all.

Trying and failing some is still better.

 

But women are better in tune with their 6th sense or intuition and likely they know when a man has a crush on them without him having to verbally communicate that. Even if he is careful to conceal his interest by making sure there's nothing in his body language that reveals he is crushing on her she will at the very minimum suspect or know intuitively that he likes her.

Intuition can be trained.

It takes yrs, but anyone, even a guy can train his intuition and knowledge of body language and social skills.

 

Women are better able to judge the secret motives behind a man's actions. They can look beyond what he appe

ars to put out on the surface. So very likely a woman knows what I am thinking if I am crushing on her. She knows if the real reason I am avoiding her or keeping a distance or not talking much is because I am crushing.

Only if she doesn't have an interest in him.

If she does, and there is a romantic interest, many times they fall into wishfull thinking ... and that is bad.

 

Also, intuition is not actual telepathy.

 

If she doesn't feel the same way then she will probably avoid back. I don't know how women pick up on that stuff but they do.

 

That's why a man has to work extra hard to be unpredictable because women are born to be natural CIA detectives and can read us better than we would like to admit.

Or ... or ... you just shouldn't care ?

I very much that the propagation of the species depended so much on what you suggest in the past.

[TylerTyrone]

This is total nonsense. I've met many woman who seemed to be clueless to me.

Some women thought I wanted something of them, while I was only being polite and nice to them with no ulterior motive! lol

 

I always knew when a girl has a crush on me, they would always act weird around me and ask me weird questions or trying to be near me , hoping I would say smh to them and or start a conversation with them.

 

Men are as good in reading woman as the other way around. They might even be better, look how many Mentalists are all men! Haha not many are female...

[Danda]

I absolutely agree that, in general, women are more intuitive than men when it comes to interpersonal things. There are several neurological studies that prove it. The male and female brain ARE different, in multiple ways. It's straight up science.

 

But the differences and the generalized effects into which they translate, are subtle. It's not like women have psychic powers. Our intuition can also go haywire, especially if we grew up in very invalidating environments. It doesn't mean we are more likely to be "right" about things, only that we are often more capable of detecting that something is there or that something is different. Or that something is 'off' about a person in some regard.

 

This does not mean that we can look at you and know what you think about us, not even close. At best we will get a "gut feeling".

 

Consider the particular flavor of intuition: Mother's Intuition. (assuming a decent mother here)

 

She will often just be able to feel it when something is wrong with one of her kids, even if the signs are super subtle. That doesn't mean she knows that Billy got harassed by two older students at 11:43AM at school that morning and is feeling confused and hurt about it.

[Woggle]

Not true. There is a whole lot many women do not understand about men.

[Imported]

Women can be pretty weird. They are not the all sensitive mind reading creatures you seem to think they are.

 

I think people with lots of experience through trial and error....and success!!!...are better at reading people than people that have little experience....and no success to guage how correct or incorrect they in fact are.