Wife of 31 years had an affair, my story

[VeryBrokenMan]

I agree the last phone call was bad, but as my IC pointed out not everyone has inside information like that. The affair was bad, but nothing makes the crime worse in my view. It's just all bad.

 

And all cheating spouses do and say things that the BS would not want to hear. Problem is most BS (even the ones that reconcile) never have that level of information and they choose to forgive anyway. So as I said just knowing more details does not make the crime worse. It's still a crime and that is what I have to forgive to reconcile.

 

I just happen to have the dirt for both that last phone call and months of texts and it's up to me to decide if it's a deal breaker. And it's up to me to decide if the cheating as a whole is a deal breaker and I'm just not sure yet.

 

If this was somebody else's thread, and you were an outsider looking in, would you think your wife has done enough to make you recommend reconciliation to that person at this time? Especially given the phone logs?

 

I'm willing to give it more time. I think we are headed in the right direction.

Edited January 27, 2015 by VeryBrokenMan

[HereNorThere]

There is no amount of waiting or time that will change this. As much as you want your old life and wife back, you must accept that these things are gone now. I hope in time you see this, but I do understand not wanting to face reality. In your case, it's so harsh and cruel, it would be easy for most people to put their head in the sand or rug sweep.

 

We wish you the best of luck competing for your wife. I think that's a contest few people would ever want to enter willingly.

 

Godspeed VeryBrokenMan.

[Spectre]

But knowing more details CAN make the crime worse, and saying otherwise is just a mantra people keep repeating to themselves so they can forgive something horrible. If you have to lie to yourself just to do that then I do not see the point.

 

Likewise, if cheating is not a deal breaker for you then what is the point of the marriage? That is just lost on me. Marriage isn't just about happiness, it's about sacrifice. One thing you sacrifice is sex with other people. If cheating is not a deal breaker then to me you might as well just give them permission to cheat.

Edited January 27, 2015 by Spectre

[aliveagain]

I agree the last phone call was bad, but as my IC pointed out not everyone has inside information like that. The affair was bad, but nothing makes the crime worse in my view. It's just all bad.

 

And all cheating spouses do and say things that the BS would not want to hear. Problem is most BS (even the ones that reconcile) never have that level of information and they choose to forgive anyway. So as I said just knowing more details does not make the crime worse. It's still a crime and that is what I have to forgive to reconcile.

 

I just happen to have the dirt for both that last phone call and months of texts and it's up to me to decide if it's a deal breaker. And it's up to me to decide if the cheating as a whole is a deal breaker and I'm just not sure yet.

 

 

 

I'm willing to give it more time. I think we are headed in the right direction.

 

You are the Chief of your own tribe and it's up to you as to how you deal with the treason she has done to it. You shared dreams with this woman and than one day she just decides to share them with someone else, you catch her, she never came clean on her own and now she expects you to take her back. At some point she gave herself permission and entitlement to a new happiness with other man, this was never negotiated with you.

 

Falling in love is easy to do and we all want the honeymoon period. The problem occurs when routine becomes part of our reality. You as a betrayed spouse are at such a huge disadvantage. How do you compete with the newness of the other man when you are part of her routine, your with her everyday, he only gets to see her for fun and for sex, how do you compete with their passion? Other man still has his individuality so he is attractive to her. You gave up your individuality to become a safe haven for each other, you became a couple and as a couple you protect each other against the insecurities of the outside world.

 

You have to live with the imbalance her affair created if you decide staying is the best thing for you. You also have to live with the mark the other man left on her, his shadow will always be there somewhere. I had a very hard time getting over the feeling of her now being the other mans dirty left overs because like your wife she was caught and she never ended it, she was forced to end it. She is a master at lying so protect yourself, have her agree to a post nuptial if reconciliation is on the table, she may not agree to it later. Remember, you never broke up your family, she did when she made the free choice to bring O/M into your marriage.

[mikethemechanic]

Yes it was a shabby generalization I can see that you were a bad boy at one poi t otherwise she wouldn't of been attracted to you and I agree that she is very emotionally upset at this moment and genuinely sorry. However there is a facet of you that makes her bored with you the fact that you don't mind her cheating this tells her that your feelings are not valuable. A bad boy would punish her by making her get a resume or perhaps making her do more housework. Except for crying profusely you have not demonstrated any form of punishment for her betrayal that is a trait of a very boring and proverbial good boy.

[beach]

I agree the last phone call was bad, but as my IC pointed out not everyone has inside information like that. The affair was bad, but nothing makes the crime worse in my view. It's just all bad.

 

And all cheating spouses do and say things that the BS would not want to hear. Problem is most BS (even the ones that reconcile) never have that level of information and they choose to forgive anyway. So as I said just knowing more details does not make the crime worse. It's still a crime and that is what I have to forgive to reconcile.

 

I just happen to have the dirt for both that last phone call and months of texts and it's up to me to decide if it's a deal breaker. And it's up to me to decide if the cheating as a whole is a deal breaker and I'm just not sure yet.

 

 

 

I'm willing to give it more time. I think we are headed in the right direction.

 

You do realize that you never actually have her leave when your idle threats surface, right? No consequences that have actually been substantial enough to change her lifestyle.

 

She cries - you bow down to her lower level.

 

So what if she hasn't shopped, gotten her nails done etc - maybe she did all those things to impress her OM. Maybe she's depressed without him and isn't up to going out. You can't know.

 

What you do know is she's been willing to screw another man and lie and betray you.

 

Of course she's overcompensating! She HAS to so you don't throw her out. So you don't embarrass her further by telling when others ask why she's had to move.

 

She's making effort to save her butt...and her lifestyle.

 

It gives you hope - that's what it's designed to do... And it helps HER suffer less consequences.

 

I think everything she's doing is so she suffers little change.

 

She's not that sorry she's done it - she's just sorry you caught her - she lied to you flat out that very morning you caught her.

 

 

She's not been one bit honest with you. There's not one reason you've given that makes me think she's about to get honest moving forward.

 

I think it would be easier for you to be happy without wondering for the next 10, 20 or 30 years IF she's suddenly capable of being an honest gal that becomes loyal and a gal with integrity.

 

Or you can just settle for her BS and live in denial wondering if she's being real or faking it for the rest of the marriage.

 

Be sure and track your money - she could begin setting things aside in accounts under her own name.

 

Sorry to be so blatant - but I've seen it happen too many times not to warn you about the level of deceit some will do in order to get what they want.

 

You're being highly manipulated by her - and the things is you seem to buying her BS.

Edited January 28, 2015 by beach

[Lion Heart]

Dear VBM, you being in the situation you're in is extremely confronting. LS can be extremely confronting too but you're here for good reason. One reason is your wife's affair but mainly to clarify your thoughts! CLARITY is what we all desperately crave and in a relationship where you find out something SO DEVASTATING about your wife's actions that could obliterate your world is truly shocking. Clarity feels impossible to achieve when you're depending on a cheating spouse to provide anything towards it. Because they are liars full stop.

 

There's so much I want to convey!

 

You need to remember that her A actually hasn't destroyed your world. You'll still have your job, car, financial independence, looks, fitness, children, bright future etc etc IF it all implodes. You will MOST CERTAINLY meet another woman afterwards when you split and get your head together.

 

Your wife is totally dependent on you financially (as my husband is) so as far as their MOTIVATION TO STAY goes, we both need to count that. WE don't as ours. So already the table is lopsided.

 

Everyone can see that you want this marraige but you need to write down WHY?

Then write down what that is dependent on and it's her faithful commitment. "Words are air" as I told our MC "and you're asking me to GAMBLE ON AIR????" It's incredulous.

 

Honest, faiyhf

[Lion Heart]

Oooops sorry VBM

 

"Honest, faithful ACTIONS FOLLOWING words are what I need!"

 

Also have you not thought that should your wife had've earnt as much as you, she would have already left? Maybe years ago?

She would certainly have had the opportunity at work to have an A.

 

Anyhow there's more but I've got to go for now.

Suffice to say, there are lots of people offering their views but everyone knows the whole deal is completely up to you.

 

Best wishes

Lion Heart.

[myheartaches]

Awwwww hell no! She was totally telling that guy the truth! She is totally in love with him! I am so sorry I am being so brutal, but I do not want to give you false hope. Please just let her live in the cardboard box. She is not worth your time and love. If she wants to be with him, so be it.

 

Bye Felicia.....

[the_artist_1970]

I agree the last phone call was bad, but as my IC pointed out not everyone has inside information like that. The affair was bad, but nothing makes the crime worse in my view. It's just all bad.

 

And all cheating spouses do and say things that the BS would not want to hear. Problem is most BS (even the ones that reconcile) never have that level of information and they choose to forgive anyway. So as I said just knowing more details does not make the crime worse. It's still a crime and that is what I have to forgive to reconcile.

 

I just happen to have the dirt for both that last phone call and months of texts and it's up to me to decide if it's a deal breaker. And it's up to me to decide if the cheating as a whole is a deal breaker and I'm just not sure yet.

 

 

 

I'm willing to give it more time. I think we are headed in the right direction.

 

This is not true. I had ALL of the information. Even after D-Day, I know for a fact that my DH didn't call his XAP after we made contact together. His calls were being strictly monitored, not by me but by "the agency" that he worked for and I was able to see everything that happened during his six month A and months afterward. (Very long story). I had just as much access as you did into what my DH was doing after D-Day and who he talked to.

 

It wasn't so much of what a WS says. We know they lie, so whatever they "say" doesn't mean squat in the months/years after D-Day. I am telling you that conversation your WW had with her AP is very telling. She has given her AP her heart and the only reason she stays with you is for security. You sound like a very good man and my heart goes out to you because you really believe your WW. She knows that she has you exactly where she wants you. Is she sincere? Probably not, but only time will tell and you will do one of two things: you will bury your head in the sand and listen to the honey that's dripping from her lips or you will stand up for yourself and do what is best for you. I suggest for once putting yourself first.

[VeryBrokenMan]

Except for crying profusely you have not demonstrated any form of punishment for her betrayal that is a trait of a very boring and proverbial good boy.

 

I agree completely.

[VeryBrokenMan]

It wasn't so much of what a WS says. We know they lie, so whatever they "say" doesn't mean squat in the months/years after D-Day. I am telling you that conversation your WW had with her AP is very telling. She has given her AP her heart and the only reason she stays with you is for security. You sound like a very good man and my heart goes out to you because you really believe your WW. She knows that she has you exactly where she wants you. Is she sincere? Probably not, but only time will tell and you will do one of two things: you will bury your head in the sand and listen to the honey that's dripping from her lips or you will stand up for yourself and do what is best for you. I suggest for once putting yourself first.

 

I know I need to put myself first and I hear everything your saying. I'm just very undecided about anything right now.

[aliveagain]

Could not be more wrong in your generalization. I was the bad boy in every way and I had no fortune when we met. In fact I was young and poor. The bad boy is what she was attracted to then and now. Her affair partner was definitely the bad boy type. I've been successful in business because I take no prisoners and have little fear. I'm also successful because I am social and engaging. But fatherhood changes people and changes your relationship with your wife. It's no longer about you or her it's about the family and what's right for the family. And you lose that bad boy edge from being a father. The kids are grown but the changes that makes to someone are still there. I treat her as a queen because up until 4 months ago she deserved it.

 

None of you that say I should divorce her have been there to hear her sincerity when she tells me she is sorry she hurt me like she has. Or heard her cry for hours. Or watched her tremble uncontrollably at times. Or have seen how transparent she is about where she is and who she is with. Or how she has not done anything for herself in months making me the focus. She has not had her hair done, nails done, anything like that since the affair. She never goes shopping unless I come along. You don't see how this once "social buttery" with hundreds of friends never gets on Facebook anymore. How she deleted all the male friends on Facebook as soon as I asked her too and agreed 100% that she should. How she never goes out with friends anymore. How she tells me how good I've always been to her and that I didn't deserve this. You don't see how we never go out to dinner and how she cooks all my favorite meals. How she tells me that she is afraid to talk to other men in public now because she see's them in a new light. She is a broken, devastated woman right now, it's not an act, and she is trying her best to make this right.

 

She made a great point this weekend. If she really loved her AP how could she have dropped him so easily. Yes it took a long phone call but then it was over and done with. She has been N/C since and really did not seem to grieve him that much.

 

A lot has happened in the past few days. We hit rock bottom (I hope) Saturday. I asked her to leave again. But then we cried and we talked more. All day Saturday and Sunday. Neither of us wants the marriage to end. We are both fighting for it. A lot more truth came out and I know there is more to come but it will take some time. I'm willing to wait.

 

I know I was more in love and in tune with my business than I was with her. And that's my conclusion not hers. I realize my role in creating an environment for cheating but she takes full responsibility for the affair. She realizes cheating was her choice. And how bad that choice was and how devastating it was to us. She does not blame me for anything. I think she really gets the pain that I'm in and how close I've been to divorce. She gets she does not deserve anything but divorce. And any entitlement thoughts or actions she felt before have been no where to be seen.

 

Nothing is certain at this point but we are trying to reconcile. I've never been in more pain in my life and this is the hardest thing I've ever been through.

 

We are seeing the MC today for the first time in three months. We've have both seen IC's at least weekly since DDay.

 

I know there are people here that think divorce is the answer. My IC says that marriage is hard and not for the weak and I believe that. And I took marriage vows that I'm not willing to break yet even though I'm justified and she has already broken them.

 

I'm a man of character above all else. I've told her I would fully support her for a time if we divorce to allow her to get on her feet. I've told her she will get half of all the assets without question. I have no fear of losing that, money is trivial compared to what we are losing. I'm young enough that I can easily recover. She has no way of earning the type of income she has become accustom to. And I have no desire to punish her and I know she is still the mother to my children. An excellent mother at that. At her core she is a good woman that made a horrible choice. And after some truths this weekend I know a lot more about that choice and it makes it easier to keep trying.

 

So that is what we are doing as of today. It may not work in the end but we are still trying.

 

Please read the phone call transcript again, specially what pertains to you than read my bolded part of your post. Do that several times because she didn't know your PI was listening, this is the real her. Your wife is one of two things, an amazing actress or a sociopath that's playing you both like a master. What makes you think your any different than her O/M, because she says so? O/M believed her, why didn't she just end it without leaving O/M the impression he still had a chance and in fact he was still her first choice. Your too close to it, step back and view it from a distance. Something stinks, read how many times she says she's not sorry for having an affair with him.

Edited January 28, 2015 by aliveagain

[oldshirt]

Yes it was a shabby generalization I can see that you were a bad boy at one poi t otherwise she wouldn't of been attracted to you and I agree that she is very emotionally upset at this moment and genuinely sorry. However there is a facet of you that makes her bored with you the fact that you don't mind her cheating this tells her that your feelings are not valuable. A bad boy would punish her by making her get a resume or perhaps making her do more housework. Except for crying profusely you have not demonstrated any form of punishment for her betrayal that is a trait of a very boring and proverbial good boy.

 

While this is all true, a better way to word it is that she has not had any true consequence for her behaviors. She has had no repercussions.

 

As she has not had any consequence or repercussions from her actions, she has no reason not to continue the behavior and no reason to change her ways.

 

I am not sure it's anyone's place to "punish" a WS but rather to let them experience the natural consequence that will come from such behavior such the loss of love, affection, security, housing, marital status, daily contact with children, joint financial accounts, credit, shared vehicles, status in the community and social circle, support and rapport with BS's family, exposure of A and disclosure to OM's wife etc etc

 

In this case she has experienced virtually NONE of the consequences associated with cheating on your spouse and VBM has shown an actual dedication to protecting her from those consequences.

 

As such he will become a cuckhold and will be completely ineffective at maintaining her faithfulness. Next time she cheats and he catches her, she won't be doing all the tears and baking his favorite brownies. Next time she will be more pragmatic and more upfront on stating why she is entitled to his support and lifestyle while she gets her love/sexual needs elsewhere.

 

The time after that, she will basically say, "take it it or leave it."

 

And the time after that she won't even try to hide it. She will just openly do as she pleases without regards to him at all. She will consider herself considerate if she bangs the OM in bed without waking up VBM.

 

Due to his effective and indecisive handling of this event, she will lose what little respect she ever had for him and will realize she has free rein to do as she pleases as there will be no true consequence of her actions.

 

At this point there is no reason for her not to screw whoever she wants. We should all be so lucky. She is the luckiest woman in the world.

[Nawlins]

VBM, You have written some heart-felt things about what your wife is doing, feeling, and saying to make things right for both of you and I sincerely hope she is doing all these things because you are her first and only choice. But what if she’s doing all these things because she’s more afraid of losing the home, the lifestyle and being on her own instead of it being about you? That’s the question I, and it appears others here, have of your current situation. I’d like to think the crying, the trembling, the transparency and her statements about hurting you are all from coming from her heart, but what if they are coming from what she may have read on sites LS?

 

If what you say about splitting your assets and having an amicable divorce are true, then why not do it? Why not take those steps and see if she truly wants to be with you? Sell the home, split the stuff and start over. If the two of you decide to remarry or just stay together because you want to then it’s on the right terms and you may have the answers you seek. But, if you decide not to remarry or stay together then you might also have an answer to your questions. If she truly wants to be with you, then suggesting something like this should not be an obstacle to your recovery.

[oldshirt]

Could not be more wrong in your generalization. I was the bad boy in every way and I had no fortune when we met. In fact I was young and poor. The bad boy is what she was attracted to then and now. Her affair partner was definitely the bad boy type. I've been successful in business because I take no prisoners and have little fear. I'm also successful because I am social and engaging. But fatherhood changes people and changes your relationship with your wife. It's no longer about you or her it's about the family and what's right for the family. And you lose that bad boy edge from being a father. The kids are grown but the changes that makes to someone are still there. I treat her as a queen because up until 4 months ago she deserved it.

 

 

 

.

 

 

This is where she lost attraction and respect. OM was all about himself and getting what he wants. That made him attractive to her.

 

You were all about her and the home and family. That made you unchallenging, safe and boring.

 

The death blow to you now is treating her like a queen (you imply that is past tense but you are still doing it). Queens get away with whatever the they want and walk on their subjects. You are her subject. She will continue to do whatever she wants.

[drifter777]

While this is all true, a better way to word it is that she has not had any true consequence for her behaviors. She has had no repercussions.

 

As she has not had any consequence or repercussions from her actions, she has no reason not to continue the behavior and no reason to change her ways.

 

I am not sure it's anyone's place to "punish" a WS but rather to let them experience the natural consequence that will come from such behavior such the loss of love, affection, security, housing, marital status, daily contact with children, joint financial accounts, credit, shared vehicles, status in the community and social circle, support and rapport with BS's family, exposure of A and disclosure to OM's wife etc etc

 

In this case she has experienced virtually NONE of the consequences associated with cheating on your spouse and VBM has shown an actual dedication to protecting her from those consequences.

I agree with this post but I have something to inject and that is - in her mind she is suffering consequences right now. The heartache of not being with OM and all the drama she has to go through to keep OP paying the bills is a lot of consequences to her. I'm sure she will take the A much deeper underground when she starts up with OM again.

[oldshirt]

 

None of you that say I should divorce her have been there to hear her sincerity when she tells me she is sorry she hurt me like she has. Or heard her cry for hours. Or watched her tremble uncontrollably at times. Or have seen how transparent she is about where she is and who she is with. Or how she has not done anything for herself in months making me the focus. She has not had her hair done, nails done, anything like that since the affair. She never goes shopping unless I come along. You don't see how this once "social buttery" with hundreds of friends never gets on Facebook anymore. How she deleted all the male friends on Facebook as soon as I asked her too and agreed 100% that she should. How she never goes out with friends anymore. How she tells me how good I've always been to her and that I didn't deserve this. You don't see how we never go out to dinner and how she cooks all my favorite meals. How she tells me that she is afraid to talk to other men in public now because she see's them in a new light. She is a broken, devastated woman right now, it's not an act, and she is trying her best to make this right.

 

 

 

 

VBM here is what people are trying to explain to you but you aren't getting it yet-

 

 

She hasn't earned those tears yet. She has had nothing to cry about. Let's face facts, women cry at the drop of a hat in any emotionally charged situation. They can pretty much turn on the faucet at will.

 

People can also bake brownies and fix a steak just the way you like it. I have a chef at Olive Garden that fixes me the perfect steak every time I come in.

 

Her tears and her good deeds aren't real because she has had no consequence for her bad behavior. She is simply trying to secure her lifestyle so she doesn't have to move and lose daily contact with the kids and have her OM mad because his wife knows.

 

Read this and try to get what we are all trying to get through to you. On Dday If you had asked her to leave, moved half of all financial accounts into your own private account, canceled her credit cards, given her one car, cut off all contact with her other than child care, had the kids to yourself half of the time, disclosed the affair to OMs wife, told her family and yours why you are living separately and cut let her live on her parents couch and made her come up with her own plan on how to raise the kids half time and be able to support herself and them, find and pay for an attorney, respond to divorce papers and deal with the court and lawyers and such and basically be on her own.

 

she could have a glimpse of what life on her own would be like. Maybe she could stay in contact with OM or some other guy if any would have her (guys would be glad to fck her but very few would take her on full time)

 

 

THEN if she showed up on your doorstep after 6 months with tears in her eyes and humility in her voice and truly understood how she fcked up and wanted to make amends and was remorseful and wanted to attempt reconciliation, then she might have some credibility to her tears and her promises of reformation. She would have earned her tears and humility.

[oldshirt]

....as it stands now, she self-professed her for the OM and said she'd live in a box with him but he wouldn't take her full time so now she is in panic mode clinging at straws to keep her house and lifestyle.

 

This is a false reconciliation. She's trying to save her house and lifestyle, not relationship for you. She just has to go through you to keep her name on the deed.

 

She has gone through no hardships or consequences. The OM wasn't an option to her by his choice so you are simply the default roof over her head. Therefor this is not a true choice- it is a default due to lack of other options.

 

As it is not a true choice, it is not a true reconciliation. As she did not experience any hardships or consequences of her actions, her tears are just a response to an emotionally charged experience just as if she had watched a tear jerker TV show or listening to a girlfriends sad story or winning the lottery or something. her tears aren't real and they have no meaning.

 

And as I said in my post above, since she hasn't had any hardship or consequence, there is no reason for her to change or for her not to do it again.

 

The next time she cheats, she won't have as an emotional response to everything because she will realize that nothing bad will happen to her. She will have confidence and be self-assured in her security in being able to have her fun and be able to keep her home and lifestyle.

[oldshirt]

I agree with this post but I have something to inject and that is - in her mind she is suffering consequences right now. The heartache of not being with OM and all the drama she has to go through to keep OP paying the bills is a lot of consequences to her. I'm sure she will take the A much deeper underground when she starts up with OM again.

 

Good point. Her tears and her baking brownies and her promises of being good are a response to an emotionally charged situation. Chicks cry about anything with an emotional component.

 

This is a very emotional situation but it's not about her love and devotion and respect for VBM. it's about her loss of the OM and her fear of losing her house, lifestyle and status in the community and social circle. Those are what is precipitating the tears and promises.

 

If she was given the option of being on her own with half the marital assets and the option of being with OM, SHE WOULD HAVE CHOSEN THAT.

 

however OM wouldn't have her so she is fighting to keep the house and lifestyle and she has to bullsht and manipulate VBM to keep it.

[HereNorThere]

No matter how many times she cries those crocodile tears, it's that phone call you transcribed at the beginning of the post that does her in. What was said in that phone call is the truth. Not the steak, not the deleting of facebook friends, whatever, it's that phone call.

 

 

The crazy part is that you don't have to speculate, you know. Most people on here never, ever get that luxury. If you can read those words and still go on with her, there's not really any advice anyone can give you on here.

[aliveagain]

Please review their last phone contact with PI listening in. The call was clear, she was looking for other man to step up but he didn't. Had he said "run away with me" I think you would have a much different scenario now. How can she just get over him like he means nothing when she was so close to leaving you for him? It is for these reasons everyone on this site is telling you to be weary. If your as good at business as you say you are, start thinking of her in a business way, is this a good decision? If your business partner was embezzling money from you would you get back into business with them or would you take steps to protect yourself?

Edited January 28, 2015 by aliveagain

[beach]

And there's really no hard evidence that's she hasn't been in touch with her OM since that last phone call.

 

It's mainly that you assumes she hasn't. She may be better at hiding it - after all, she did say she would be in touch with him before too long. Her INTENT is to wait until the dust settles and get back with him.

 

She's being all nice to you so you stop paying attention and she can reach out to him sooner.

[mikethemechanic]

VBM I think that people see you as a tough guy but I bet if I was to ask your wife she would call you a wimp and a pushover. To be frank your wife meant to say about your hands on your hips was her way of saying that you're not strong enough to open the jar. While OM is a muscleman... And if there was something in the house at night it would be the wife who had to go check to see if it was a prowler because you are too scared to check. While out on a date with your wife waiting in line at a restaurant if somebody sneaks in front of you and your wife you say nothing while most people would put up a fight.When most people aren't affraid to tip the Waitress for a cold meal you're afraid not to tip and instead of leaving a 15% tip you leave a 17%.you're the type of man who will only have one slice of pizza while everyone else had two slices. If I cashier shortchanged you instead of fighting you would say Karma will pay that cashier back. This is all the typical signs of a nice guy even if you think your bad guy.

[beach]

No skin off her nose for cheating.

 

She will cheat again... Because she's really had no consequences that cause her enough pain to change on the inside.