So I sent the ex an email saying this..... what a dumbarse i am

[beatjunkies]

So sent the ex an email that said the following:

 

 

hey whats up ? so did you get a car yet or what ? how have things been with you ? Anyways yeah so I guess you got my voicemail i sent you like last week.. I dont know I hope I wasn't bothering you but there are soo many questions I have you know ? It just seems soo weird how everything got soo f'eded up soo fast.. My life has been like a blur since I moved to shizville. Anyways I dont know.. I really miss you and its a shame that we dont even really talk anymore or hang out.. I never would have thought that we would have ended u.p the way we are There is soo much I want to say to you but I know that it would be a waste of breath because I cannot change the way things are..

 

There are soo many plans and actions I wanted to take to be the b/f you deserved. I wish you wouldn't have just given up soo easily but I dont know I guess you did what you thought you had to...I really am sorry for leaving you when I moved out there but thats what I felt was the best thing and I know I f'eded up but I didnt know how things were going to be.. I know you were going through alot and shiz and I should've been there and I wasn't.. I accept my mistakes when we were together and I have thought about it a lot and how i SHOULD'VE acted but o well I guess you cant make someone want to be with you if they dont want to right ? It sucks because I know I could make you happy and show you how much you mean to me but I cannot at the moment.. I just hope that you are truely happy with whatever you choose...So yeah... The apartment is soo cool, I think you'd like it alot and I wish you could be here to share it with me but hey what can I say.. I dont know why I am emailing you because you are never online but I figure you will read this eventually..btw you still have a sims game saved as the (my last name)... haha i was bored one day and I was going to play it but i didnt..so I dont know how you feel..

 

I guess if you wanted to talk to me or hang out with me then you would call me but i guess you dont want to..So yeah i dont know i am going to go but just thought Id email you.. So hit me up IF you want to, i dont know how you feel about things or if you still want me in your life but ill leave it up to you since i dont know what you want to do... So yeah im just sitting at my apt and Im about to go to bed because I have to work at 8:30 today -=( Im kinda glad to finally be out on my own but its going to be rough on my own.. i can handle it though (i think).. so yeah work sucks and there are a bunch of sideshow freaks.. haha.. ok well yeah take care of yourself and (even though you dont want to hear it) I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH !!!!

 

Take care (ex), hope to hear from you !! ??

 

Love always, (no matter what)

 

(me)

 

Peace

 

 

I know i am a dumbass right ? haha i was drinking a little but and am kinda buzzed and i started to write the email.. So how stupid was i on a scale of 1 to 10 ( 10 being the most stupid) to send this to her ?? anyways let me know what you think.. I am going to bed because i am freakin tired as shiz.. take care everyone

 

peace !!

[strange love]

Usually you do your own thing and it seems to work out.

[Angeleyez2583]

You're not stupid! However (even I need to realize this one), if he wants to call you he will. If he wants to hang out he will. So just try to stop emailing him and stuff like that all together. Keep your mind busy. Do a self makeover! It'll take your mind off of him. If he really loves you, he will come back to you.

 

 

Time heals all wounds. I know that is clique but it's true.

[upsetnhurt]

Are we talking about two guys here? Or are you the guy and it is a she that you want back?

[HotCaliGirl]

I woiuld say a 9.99. It got worse and worse. Next time, write in a journal, not on the computer then tear it up.

[Lonestar]

Originally posted by beatjunkies

 

 

I know i am a dumbass right ? haha i was drinking a little but and am kinda buzzed and i started to write the email.. So how stupid was i on a scale of 1 to 10 ( 10 being the most stupid) to send this to her ?? anyways let me know what you think.. I am going to bed because i am freakin tired as shiz.. take care everyone

 

peace !!

 

Don't worry about it. As a wise person on the Shack once said to me, "you're not the first person to contact thier ex."

 

You said some things that you needed to. So what. I did the same thing last week. It's no big deal, don't feel like an ass, but now you have to move on. If you fall off a bike, get back on. Know what I mean, vern?

[Angeleyez2583]

Now i'm the dumbass. I didn't realize you are a guy and I'm very sorry. Just change the genders around in my post. Sorry!

[beatjunkies]

ok ok sorry about this but i decided this morning that i was going to unsend the email to her.. so basically she didnt read it or will read.. I think that might have been telling her too much.. also a girl at work said dont sent it and i was like ok so i just unsent it.. sorry about it but i want to read everyones post real quick..

 

well i would have liked to let her know those things but at the same time its true that if she wanted to talk to me then she would.. its not like me telling her my feelings AGAIN is going to make her come back..

 

Thanks for the input though !!

 

I will stay with NC.. hey stranglove this is mixwell.. haha im still in the same situation.. I know i never listen to anyones advice right ?

 

ok well thats it for now.. sorry again for the post and then the retracting the email thing..

 

Take care everyone..

 

peace

[strange love]

Yes I know its you mixwell.

I thought that email was very nice, I was kinda hoping you sent it.

Everyday I have a whole letter thought out in my head about what I wish to tell my ex. I have so many mixed emotions about her, I hate her. At the same time im beginning to realize im deeply in love with her as well, and thats very hard to deal with. I have spent time with other women and wish to feel the way I do about her for someone else new.

Maybe you should just do what ever you feel like doing, I wish I could conjure up some magic solution for you. But the hard reality is that there is none.

[beatjunkies]

ok you know what..screw it. i resent the email to her because i dont care if it pushes her away or not... At least i am being honest with her... so i dont know when she will check it or whatever but yeah I sent it..

 

so we will see what happens from here..

 

take care everyone..

 

yeah strange it still sucks that were in the same boat.. im surprised there havent been any success stories from members since Ive been posting on here !!

 

ok im out..

 

peace

[jenny_01]

I give you props for sending that e mail......I don't have the guts to do it....i just talk to my ex once every few months and then bitch about it afterwords. i'm impressed that there are people out there who are not afraid to put it out there....if the other person takes it, good, if not......she's the one who is worse off cuz of it. i approve, at least you did your best.

[beatjunkies]

thanks for the props Jenny !! i appreciate it.. you know i have tried the NC and let her call and tried to play games and this and that.. not show my feelings for her and try and make her jealous but screw it.. it hasnt worked and although i have been real with her before i am doing it again... If shes cant tell me the truth and let me know how she feels then thats her.. At least she knows how STILL feel about her and there are no hidden feelings..

 

So yeah !! I can check and see when she reads it but she doesnt go on the computer too often.. so Ill let you know what happens.. she might just read it and not even reply who knows.. Id just like to know what the hell she thinks about this all.. sure she talks bout faults we had and how things wouldnt have worked out when i moved away..

 

its like hello im back now.. that excuse doesnt work and i let her know that i have thought about things and have changed A LOT !! I have though.. i have my own place now, i work, and i have $$$... im more responsible and also i realize how much more time and attention i would focus on her IF we were to get back together..

 

so yeah if she thought our relationship was good before and whatever it would be way better.. i want to take her to soo many places and do soo much and show her i love her but she doesnt seem to believe me on that.. o well its her loss..

 

ok im rambling on, im out

 

peace

[beatjunkies]

so after she read the email i sent (1st post) she says this :

 

 

WHAT UP? SAYIN HI. THERE'S A HIP HOP SHOW 2NITE IN (city name) @ CAFE BLUE.

I'M NOT GOIN'. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME BUT WITHOUT A CAR SO THAT'S LAME , I

DUNNO TALK TO YA LATER.-(ex's name) -PEACE

 

so i just emailed her back with a little more update on my life and what not.. and said

 

"so would you wana hang out sometime or what ?? anyways yeah hit me

back up on the comp or call me. phone would be better but yeah.."

 

so i dont know.. That was a pretty bland email for having written all that on the first post huh ? well thats it for now...

 

later

[strange love]

hmm

 

well she replied.

 

Ok here

I just thought of something. You have to be a bit suave, hmm..

 

Instead of asking her out you should ask her about why she isnt going to the show.

Sorry thats just my take I think you are a bit more quick to the draw.. It kind of sounds like you could be a bit more romantic....

 

but she replied. So thats good.

 

What you could do is you know maybe in a few days or something send a cutesy card or forward her something funny. Thats my take, but I could be wrong.

[strange love]

This is an observation and suggestion regarding the younger lads on this site.

I notice your writing tends to be all slang and abbrevations.

 

ex: "so would you wana hang out sometime or what ?? anyways yeah hit me

back up on the comp or call me. phone would be better but yeah.."

 

You might get a different response from your lady friends you wrote something more literate

Its kind of like "My fair lady".

In any case , just an observation.

[beatjunkies]

yes she did reply.. the thing is though that i stopped calling her and she could call me about every 7 days.. now she doesnt... the only contact I guess has been via email.. i had sent her a text message like a week ago and she called me... I told her that i didnt really want to be friends and I thought it was stupid but i said i wanted her in my life... it seems like she is trying to EASE me out of her life sort of.. I dont know the email was weird because its like we talk about soo much to just get a plain email like that from her.. You know what I mean ? Actually I called her up after reading the email the other day, but she didn't answer.. I left a voicemail saying call me back and she hasnt.. Does it seem like she is trying to just cut me out of her life or what ? God this sucks !! its like things are getting worse now.. she doesnt even call me to see whats up anymore..

 

Thats why I think the NC isn't working... but yet i dont think i should go back to how i was calling her and what not... I catch myself thinking now like what if she is totally into this guy and thats the end of us... When i broke up with her and she had another b/f she would still hang out and what not and answer so I dont know.. since she broke up with me its kinda weird... im starting to wonder why there is such an attraction to this guy with her... I am the only guy she has slept with and i catch myself wondering if she has slept with this guy yet and maybe thats why she acts soo attached to him ?? I dont know its weird but the contact has gotten alot less. I guess I should keep it up though because after all she would answer when I called and call me back if she wanted to talk.. Honestly I feel a little betrayed, even though i am the one that moved out of state.. I dont know its like I know we could have worked things out but I cannot understand why she doesnt want to.. she was like head over heels for me and was going to freakin move with me !! and its not even like it was that long ago.. the last time i hung out with her was Feb 6 and she was all nice and what not.. saying sorry for avoiding me and like she gave me a really tight hug when i left.. not its like she doesnt even care...

 

When i talked to her last time she was saying how things wouldnt have worked out with us (me being out of state) but its like yeah ok well i have been back now.. Then she brings up other stupid things that I try to justify reasons for.. Does it sound like this is the end or what ?? I mean she knows exactly where i stand and how i feel about things, but yet its like she trys to blame stupid little things on why it wont work.. I think personally its an excuse to not be together because she wants to see how things are with this guy.. I get worried though because now it has been like 5 months we have been broken up and I keep feeling like she has gotten over me..I keep thinking that once the "honey moon" phase wears off that she will call me but I dont know..

 

Nothing like this has ever happened betweeen us ever !! the longest we were broken up before was like maybe 2 months.. I still called her though even though i was the dumper and i still hung out with her though..I never treated her like this and cut her out of my life like she is doing to me.. I dont know, with all this time having gone by and us not toghether , it seems like this is it for us and i should just move on (which i am trying to do).. So what do you think ??

 

take care,

 

peace

[beatjunkies]

any ideas ?

[HotCaliGirl]

I couldn't bear to read your post in its entirety and stopped after the first sentence of the second paragraph stating: "Thats why I think the NC isn't working... " Do you call that long-a** pathetic email you sent her NC? I am rolling my eyes again. I am giving feedback from a female's perspective and even though your male buddy here encouraged you to send it off to her, I thought it was so pathetic and sounded needy and very very very annoying, especially at a time when she needs some space from you and instead you are chasing her AWAY by suffocating her with these emails and now you say voicemails. Ay yayay

 

I also agree with strange love that you have to work on your slang. all the "yeah" you use in writing is just too annoying and sounds elementary, like from a little schoolboy. Speaking for myself, I would never be able to take you seriously from the style you write in. I hope you don't talk that way too, and even if you do, tone it down and edit it out of your writing. It makes you come across as too inconsiderate on the part of the reader. If a guy wrote to me like that, I'd be walking in the opposite direction. Total turn-off - you are not writing to your beer buddies, but to a girl whose affections you are trying to win over/back.

 

You don't have to be NC but not smoothering her either and desperate to talk/email/hear back from her. I'm just trying to help with my honest feedback so don't take it personal. I'll try to read the rest of your post later on...

[beatjunkies]

I appreciate you being honest with me though. I know the email sounds needy but it seems like at this point there is no hope for us. I mean she has been with this guy for a little while now and it just seems as though she is trying to forget me. Also that long pathetic email isn't what I call NC. I have not been contacting her other than that email and a text message. It seems like there is less and less contact though between us. When I was doing NC and she would call on average once a week I thought maybe I was getting somewhere, but now its just worse now. Thats what I am saying I guess. I have really given her space ! Other than recently the little contact I have made with her she was the one initiating it ! So I don't think that she could feel "smothered" . I just wish I knew what she was thinking. Anyways all I can do is just stick with NC and not even e-mail her or anything and wait for her to call. I know that if she wanted to talk she would call but it hurts me when she doesn't call for a while because it seems like she doesn't even give a toss about me anymore. Thanks for the advice HotCali I am always open to other views and I am glad that you are at least honest and not fake and tell people the truth, rather than comfort them.

 

Take care !

 

So what is your story HotCali ?

 

PS. Does my post look more literate now or what ?

 

haha -=)

[beatjunkies]

So does it seem hopeless or what? Is there anything, other than NC that i can do ?

[theone44]

Originally posted by HotCaliGirl

I couldn't bear to read your post in its entirety and stopped after the first sentence of the second paragraph stating: "Thats why I think the NC isn't working... " Do you call that long-a** pathetic email you sent her NC? I am rolling my eyes again. I am giving feedback from a female's perspective and even though your male buddy here encouraged you to send it off to her, I thought it was so pathetic and sounded needy and very very very annoying, especially at a time when she needs some space from you and instead you are chasing her AWAY by suffocating her with these emails and now you say voicemails. Ay yayay

 

I also agree with strange love that you have to work on your slang. all the "yeah" you use in writing is just too annoying and sounds elementary, like from a little schoolboy. Speaking for myself, I would never be able to take you seriously from the style you write in. I hope you don't talk that way too, and even if you do, tone it down and edit it out of your writing. It makes you come across as too inconsiderate on the part of the reader. If a guy wrote to me like that, I'd be walking in the opposite direction. Total turn-off - you are not writing to your beer buddies, but to a girl whose affections you are trying to win over/back.

 

You don't have to be NC but not smoothering her either and desperate to talk/email/hear back from her. I'm just trying to help with my honest feedback so don't take it personal. I'll try to read the rest of your post later on...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to HotCaliGirl,and she is so right. Alway's listen to what the woman is saying. When a woman break it off just leave her the heck along. sending e-mail,calling and what-ever. make you look very needy and pathetic weakling in the eyes of a woman you still love.

[clynn]

Aaaaaah, what the heck.

 

Really, it does seem as though she is over you and that this could be the end for the two of you. Who really knows, I don't.

 

You said that you two broke up before for 2 months and it was you that did the breaking up. And it was you that left town and went out of State. IT is really really crappy to say but those actions to her may have been enough for her to feel the need to close the door herself and move on. She felt weak and when she finally had the opportunity to feel stronger and on her own, ..... she simply got over you.

 

She isn't doing it to hurt you and she probably isn't in control of her feelings. They just aren't there anymore.

 

And it may be because of this new guy, but he also could just be a catalyst. He perhaps has helped her get over you but if things end with him it may still make no difference between the two of you.

 

It is very sad, as you'll likely kick yourself over this for a while. But try to have faith that things happen for a reason and if your relationship cannot survive then it wasn't intended to. (not very comforting, I know).

 

In which case, sending the email I think was an okay thing. It gave you the opportunity to say what you felt you needed to, and really I think that what is impportant now is YOU and YOU giving yourself the opportunity to Do whatever it is you need to do to begin to move on.

 

Now that you've expressed yourself, adn I think you did so very well, you can begiin to let go, heal and move on.

 

Good luck. I'm sorry. It hurts a lot I'm sure. And that really sucks.

 

All the best,

[beatjunkies]

Thanks for the reply.. actually after getting that email she sent (earlier post) i had sent her some pictures of my apartment.. so she called me 2 days ago but I didnt answer because I was eating. So i called her back at her work like 20 minutes later and she was like weird i was just about to call you again. I had sent her pix of my apartment about a week ago I guess. I had sent her an email and what not and sent some pictures. So we chatted a little bit, nothing about a relationship. Just whats been going on and she was asking how to get ringtones on her phone and what not. She had to go and i just said well it was nice talking to you and she said the same then I said I guess Ill talk to you later and she was like okay.

 

 

Its to the point now where i dont really feel like she is coming back.. I know sometimes i get my hopes up and think one day she is going to come back. its stupid but i try to not think that way anymore.. As of recently ive just accepted the fact that things are the way they are.. If she wanted to work things out, or was interested she would call.. See Clynn when i first moved back out here we hung out alot and whatever.. then the last time we hung out (beginning of feb) she was all touchy and what not.. I had grown out my sideburns (she liked that) and the 1st thing she said was oh you have sideburns and was touching them.. She was all touchy and what not and had apologized for not being in touch..

 

when i left she gave me a normal hung and then tightend it up alot .. so i dont know.. but that was a while ago.. so who knows.. She used to always question be about other girls too when i first moved back out here.. One time we went to eat and i took a receipt out of my back pocket to throw it away and she was like what is that and grabbed it from me.. (i guess she though it was some girls number or whatever) she acted jealous still which is kind of weird to me especially since she was with this guy.. also I knew they were together but when i confronted her about it she always denied it basically until one day something happened and there was no way she could deny it any longer. She then lied and said that they just started going out recently.. When i was out of state she said something like he kissed her and then i said promise and she was like no im just kidding..Sometimes also she would say stupid things like oh i can't hang out because my b/f will get mad. So i was like whatever and she was like im just joking. I was like you are going out with him aren't you? She was like no we are not. She said I know it seems like it but we aren't.. So why lie about it? I mean why not just tell the truth ?? Guilt ?? whatever i am over that though because this was a while ago.. There are like new "things" that will happen and I wont know how to react to them but at least now i am gaining knowledge from this and if anything i will be a stronger person from this IF it happened again with her or another girl (god forbid)... so I try to not predict or interpret things anymore and just leave things as they are and i am going to let her contact me if she wants to talk ... So im basically done putting in effort.. I agree with you though .. I think this guy helped her out here when i had moved back and so maybe theres that bond or whatever.. I guess before i was waiting for the newness of their relationship to wear off or whatever..See even though she broke up with me, i was the one the physically left her so in a sense its like i broke up with her i guess. i dont know and i dont even want to guess why things are the way they are..

 

I have put in soo much energy and told her how i feel and how sorry i was and what a mistake it was for moving.. so she knows where i stand. So if she comes back she does but if not then i guess its not meant to be.. its out of my hands now.. only time will tell what happens..

[clynn]

Take care.

 

Be strong.