Praying for breadcrumbs (updated)

[Atmosphere77]

Johnson J. That was my "went out drinking with coworkers and got angry mood" in the last post you responded to. It's like I've got rotating personalities at the moment. I've also have a "I think she'll come back" one and a "Thank god I'm free to do whatever I want" one as well lol. I hope Ifiknewthen does too. If I stayed in just one other than the last one I would be screwed. The angry one got me 15 stitches in my fist last month and I'm not proud of it.

Her cheating was my own speculation. I asked a few times during the break up. Her eyes didn't show lie but based on the percentage of people on this site, I assume she would need someone lined up to be able to walk away.

 

 

In 6 months I will still be miserable. The only thing that will different is the memory of her will be fading. I know this from my history. I don't enjoy the single game other than the alcohol and hookups. Honestly, my ex made me forget about the last girl I had feelings for. That one was clear from the beginning we were FWB though. I actually ran into that girl a year or so later, the night I met my ex. Weird. I'll be in "What if" mode for a long long time with this one.

 

 

Holidays coming up will suck. I spent them with her family. I'm not close with most of my own family but I will be traveling to thanksgiving with my mother's side. All couples and don't really want to be around them. Only going to see my brother and his family. It's gonna be a lonely hotel room.

 

 

Christmas will be bad. I guess Chinese food and beer. New Years eve will be the worst. I'll remember what we did the last 3 and wondering who she's with. I'll probably be at a bar full of happy strangers or at a very lame party. I wonder if I can put myself in a coma from Dec 20 til Jan lol.

[IfiKnewThen]

quote: Honestly, my ex made me forget about the last girl I had feelings for

 

exactly!! same situation. only my ex he got me over a 10 year relationship. so he is so key in my life.

 

i can only pray he will call me and treat me with some dignity and respect. im so sad. cant wait to be unconscious again. im really not doing well.

 

im sacred to death this time. getting tearful again..

 

just wanted to ask you about my conversation with him atmos. i wrote it above. any time u have time to look at it. just want the male take on it. thanks

[Atmosphere77]

Ifiknewthen: Write the letter and burn it. You're pushing way too hard. Write another one and burn that too. If HE calls again keep the conversation friendly but stop begging and telling him you love him. See if he comes towards you at all. If there is someone else maybe he'll come around when/if it fizzles and then you'll have to decide why he's coming back.

Like I said earlier, I think you have a better chance then I do but you're being you own worst enemy possibly. If I'm wrong then your ex in real life is as weak as I am on this forum.

[IfiKnewThen]

thank u for the response.

 

i def told him im in love with him and was loving towards. i didnt beg him. that for sure.i never said lets go back. nothing like that. and anything close to it was..saying is there anyway i can fix this. he said there might be.

 

there was a response i sent to you today prior to the shorter one.

 

anyway it probably looked like begging to him or needy i dont know but i sure tried not to come across like that. but i felt i had to make it up to him..dumping him for seamlessly no reason. seriously he asked me what the reason was 7 weeks ago..and i gave him bogus ones. because i thought he suffered from depression and i didnt want him to think HE was the reason. and i ended up making him feel like that anyway. and he had to say a billion times to me YOU DONT WANT ME.

 

so i wanted him to know i wanted him. i still honestly dont think i got that point across, when professing my love. thats why i wanted you to skim over the conversation.

well thank u for giving me ur take on that conversation i had with him. i cant imagine him calling back after waiting all this time. at this time he might even think im angry if he gave a darn about me because after professing love and someone doesnt call u in 7 days, thats pretty damn harsh.

 

so sounds like u think i might of scared him away or made him lose the attraction. but i really thought he meant it when he said to me i "destroyed him utterly", 3 weeks ago. so ,i thought with showing him love..telling him...it would heal is ailing heart. but instead he bailed. so makes me think there is another. and makes me think when he said you "destoyed me utterly" he meant it, as in, destoyed his feelings for me? this is why i want answers and closure

 

but i hear what youre saying about the letter. just dont know how much more silence i can take.

Edited November 13, 2014 by IfiKnewThen

[Atmosphere77]

Sorry if I came off harsh. Kinda seemed that way when I reread my response. I know I can't figure things out myself at all without outside perspectives. You could be right. In my shoes I assume i'll go from misery to the angry stage and stay there eventually. Maybe that's where he is?

[IfiKnewThen]

maybe thats it. makes sense

 

but basically im saying to him "you have me" .

 

so if he were miserable or even angry at me, he could take the stance of saying or thinking...."oh she wants me". "if i take her back i wont feel pain or be mad"

and he could have me back and not be angry or sad any more. im giving him an out from that pain for anger. he can have us back.

 

but because hes not jumping on the band wagon. i feel its over he doesnt want me anymore. BUT i still think its because he found another...to give him the strength to really move on *

 

i wish he were angry and in love like you are with your girl or ex. and i wish he were just doing NC to survive and see if she comes back. that would mean there is hope for me and my guy./ex.

 

BUT he knows i love him and want him and isnt here so thats not a good sign. you dont know how your GF feels. so you wait and wonder. if you knew she loved and wanted u. would u not be back with her tomorrow working things ouit?

 

anyway, no need to apologize ..i think u were giving sound great advise about the letter. and everything and i really appreciate it. i only hope im strong enuff to hold out and listen...because im still feeling the need for some answers and closure that goes beyond...this horrible silence

Edited November 13, 2014 by IfiKnewThen

[Atmosphere77]

Just received my breadcrumb. It was like the ****tiest breadcrumb I've read on this site. "HI" would have been fine.

 

 

She texts: Hi. Haven't heard from u & want to know how you are. I understand if u don't want to keep in touch. Life goes on right?

 

 

I couldn't respond to that if I wanted to. What an attempted kick in the balls?

 

 

She should have said: Hey, make me feel good. I understand that you're pathetic. If you're that weak and need to be a baby I'm completely fine leaving you alone.

 

 

I had a speech in my head to put her in her place when I got this breadcrumb but this is pathetic. Been waiting 2 plus weeks. Felt like a year. What we had was so good until the end and I'm thinking about her 90% of the time. I know she hasn't been reading this forum hours a day for a month like me but are you f**king kidding me?

 

 

Sure let's talk. Let's drift into US. Then you can crush me and go back to whoever you're banging.

 

 

NC and waiting and waiting and waiting again

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

nah man don't pray for bread crumb. Pray for the whole loaf. They either want to truly be with you or it's nothing

[IfiKnewThen]

wow. i knew that that she would contact u somehow. but she left it so

 

open....like it could mean anything. but she makes it sound like...a wet noodle, when she ends with with life goes on right?

 

 

so you could read that as shes gone on with life and life goes on after separation.

 

BUT...as a female ...here's what i think shes saying without saying. its sounds like to me, she is fishing to know if "life" is really going on without her.

she does want to know if youre ok....but also if she really lost u yet.

 

now whether she wants to know this because shes interested in being with u again...i dont know.

 

or because people moving on is always painful for each other...whether or not we love them. it always feel bad to be "left behind".

 

but all in all i think its good SHE contacted you first.

 

but the depths of her contact ...or the depths of her pride...or the depths of her love and longing, are unknown to me. she wouldnt want to actually throw herself at you anyway unless she felt it would get her anywhere or was appropriate.

 

she may know you wouldnt be as attracted to her if she had thrown herself at u.. these cryptic but simple messages are something we dont really know...without real heartfelt communication. two people can love and want each other...but something has to give. or someone has to give in.

 

but when we feel we can possibly be duped...or like they have someone else and are just "checking in"..its hard to approach them or respond back. its such a tricky situation.

 

i hope and pray more people who want to make amends and get back to each other...have the courage to say it. i am glad for you though that she did reach out some. sounds crazy but i wish i would get a text like that lol. i would read that from my guy that there is hope. but it seems like no text/ smoke signal anything from him..is the worst. if he even asked how i was..it would mean he gave a woot on some level./ but i continue to get nothing..........................................................................

just silence. im sorry to say i sent him a picture of me today. he had been asking for another for a long time..even the last time we spoke...so i sent him one. (a everyday picture of course ) i sent it to his email. i dont expect a thing back. i was glad i sent it though. since i promised it for awhile. long story we are long distance.

 

i know this is dumb but tomorrow i am going to write and send him a letter or first ask him to call...then read it to him...so i dont get off topic. he really has no clue why i ended it and maybe if he knew he wouldnt hate me so much. but i pretty much told him i wanted to go back with him already and take baby steps. but he hasnt called. so...............im really scared here

Edited November 14, 2014 by IfiKnewThen

[Atmosphere77]

Wow just wrote my response, my phone signal crapped out and I lost it lol. Try again.

 

So in response. It could have been guilt, pity, a baby reach out, or all 3. When we started fighting neither one of us let down their guard which led to the breakup. She may still be that way.

At the same time we both thought we we're a**holes when we broke up. I still take it as BS. She could be in bed alone every night since the break up, teary eyed because i'm not there but i give that a slim chance.

I so want to text her tomorrow "Hey, what do YOU get out of texting me?" She'll say " I just wanted to make sure you're OK" I'll say "So because I wanted to try to work us out I deserve pity texts?" And she'll say "I care so much about you BUT blah blah blah blah" And she gets her whatever and I get the ball kick. I know she was still in love with me the last time I saw her in person but she's smart enough to know we won't work. I'm not

[IfiKnewThen]

you sound pretty smart and sure of yourself. (i genuinely mean that)

 

im starting more and more to wish i listened to your advise. at least you got her to reach out. and silly me goes and sends a picture of myself (lol)

 

you actually sound like half of me and half of my ex. he would answer a text just like u. thats amazing.

 

so r u really gonna say that? so what do YOU get out of texting me?

 

im such a sap lately that if my ex said that. i would reply..connecting with you hopefully because i miss you.

 

well good luck and keep us updated and i hope it works out for u somehow.

[Atmosphere77]

She's a smart girl. Her wording was perfect and ambiguous. She works for the state. Her job is to tell people on social services that break the rules that she is taking them away lol. Think I have a chance? She has all the bases covered with that text. If I respond with more than Hey I'm good she can shoot me down. If I don't respond she is saying "Hey I know your so upset over me and if you have to be such a pu**y and go NC I understand. It's actually quite a turn on.

I'd take a bullet for her(probably for most females too though) so I might decide to play the game with her. The odds are big time against me but I'm gonna feel the same either way. So that day will be rougher than it would have been. I might not want her back but I want the option more than anything.

 

 

She went to sleep tonight wondering about my nonresponse. Most people on LS will say great leave it at that. But I'll heal when I heal. If I crash and burn i'll know I took a chance and I didn't do it like a NC wuss or a person that smothered her until there was a police report.

Right now she's thinking I most likely ignored the text. Tomorrow I'm probably gonna text her "Hi, how's your day going?" Like she did to me for the better part of 3 years. She'll say Good yours? I'll say Good, what are you trying to get out of texting me? Or i'll say "Good, and there you go" And we'll see how that goes. Probably not good regardless of her feelings but she's calling me out on the NC which I didn't tell her I was doing. My imagination can't be any worse than reality unless she's screwing my dad lol

I'm ok not winning her back or for her to tell me she loves me and wants to see me. If I can gently tell her off when she doesn't that will help as well. I'll know the direction I'm going.

We'll see how I feel tomorrow and i'll let you know what I did and how it didn't work out

Edited November 14, 2014 by Atmosphere77

[johnson_j]

Looking forward to hearing how it went. I don't see a problem with texting ex's as long as you can leave most emotions and over-analysis out of it. But if she doesn't reply and you spend all day trying to determine why, ask yourself "was it worth it"?

[Atmosphere77]

She'll reply. Just trying to decide which angle will give me the most satisfaction. Keep you posted

[IfiKnewThen]

getting texts about my ears.

 

got a text this morning from him after 9 days ago telling him i was in love with him, while he was cold and silent and then said he will call me back and never did. (really no women would put up with this. the fact that he didnt call after you were all loving)

 

 

well since i promised him i would send him a picture (since its been a long time dont forget) i decided to send him a picture of me last night via..email. (not text)

 

well i dont know if he saw my email or not because he barely reads his email..

 

but this morning i now finally get a text from him.

 

this is what it said HIM:

saw new med on that reducing ringing in ears. cant remember name of it

 

HIM: something about balancing fluid maybe

 

ME: (after 1/2 hr time) if you ever see the name of it, thats exactly what i have imbalance. so thanks appreciate it

 

HIM: if you look it up , i would know the name if i saw it. it was a prescription i believe.

 

ME: i went to look it up. put in key words. but cant find it. did try.

 

HIM: was a weird long name . maybe started with an F

 

HIM: or O

 

ME: i even tried again but no luck. maybe you will see it on TV again or i will. and i will say ah, thats what he was talking about. will be on the lookout for it and thanks

 

HIM

 

thats it so far guys.

 

and heres what im thinking and feeling. first off i was glad he text me and quite surprised. because i def want to talk to him about getting closure. so im glad for any opening of communication. and i want to jump on the bad wagon to get closure somehow. so i dont want too much more time to pass. like maybe a day where im going to ask for it. maybe later today..i dont know. here is how i felt with that text:

 

first impression was...wow a text. yay. but seeing it..it felt cold. like a generic text b/c now hes calmed down some, and hes not mad at me as much anymore, and felt he could text me now somehow.

 

I even get the strong impression hes happy with someone, and wants to even share that with me somehow so he opened up the doors for communication. or now, he feels he can be friends with me when he's in the mood. i think people who might move on to others are clueless as to how anyone else feels around them. because i do suspect hes moved on with another. but ofc im hoping it nothing real serious. but i feel there is def. someone. or some fun, hes not willing to give up.

 

second impression was, he's possibly embarrassed, because last week i was so loving and it got a bit intimate in nature on his part.<--hard to explain (tho he professed no love to me and was mostly silent..while i was telling him i was "in Love" with him.) so he finally must have decided to say something to me but without any commitment to it and to not look like a total douche bag. so, he said something about my medical condition. seeing some medicine for the ear i could take. its a NON emotional NON committal text.

 

for me, my responses were like..thanks for thinking of me. i checked it out like u wanted me too, cant find it. appreciate it. sort of like....i acknowledge this text. i value what u said. i looked it up on the internet. but cant find it and thanks.

 

then he smiles. . i truly NEVER got smiles from him in 3 years time. i mean we texted and would get a beautiful heart. something. loving words..whatever. but oddly enough i never got a smile and it truly struck me. like HIT me right in the face, or head.....as if i had a V-8.

 

i really believe from the bottom of my heart and all my instincts as a female,

he making that smile to someone else now. and habitually just made it to me.

it was very telling. when they do something different like that. its because thats probably what they are doing with someone else.

 

i know its just a smile. i hope its something nice. but he NEVER did that. i also felt he was happy...like he was thinking..wow now i dont have to feel guilty after you poured ur ever loving heart out to me last week. and after i was a real A$$ for not calling when i was getting intimate (with no love) on the phone. wow i can talk to her and shes thanking me about the medicine info so...im all good now..smile.

 

i feel the death here. i just want to make sure. i want my closure. im glad he text so that now we can possibly talk and i get some answers as to move on 100% or not in my heart. i feel intellectually this is whats going on. but i need the 100% disconnect in my heart and i cant have no answers intellectually either. i think he owes me that much after 3 years and me trying to show him..i wanted him..want him back...love him etc. if hes moved on because i initially sent him away. fine. but i deserve to know that much. i am really interested in your opinion atmos if you can spear it. up to you. thanks.

Edited November 14, 2014 by IfiKnewThen

[IfiKnewThen]

ps. im not an ingrate. i am very grateful and want to even thank God almighty for a prayers answered and a contact. i want to make the most of it.

 

thank you God.

[Atmosphere77]

Wow what a clusterf**k of emotions all day today. Definitely wasn't prepared enough but I knew that. As of now I have what I wanted but I'm not putting that in stone. I'll post the texting back and forth tomorrow as there's a lot of it and I won't have time tonight. Going to the club just in case lol

[IfiKnewThen]

wow once again i can relate to a cluster of emotions.

 

im sure u didn't get to read (2 posts above that i wrote) where i tell you he text me yesterday.

 

well, it continues...

 

this morning at 6 am he text me.

 

HIM: so tired

 

ME : tired from getting up to work at this hour or just getting home?

 

(side note: 15 mins later, still no answer from him. i was woken up out of a dead sleep and now couldn't go back to sleep. and im wondering, did i say something wrong? and im also wondering what does so tired mean? (a) he's so tired of life because he use to talk about suicide when he got down and hes down now? or (b) hes so tired of us not speaking? or © he didnt mean to text me maybe? maybe it was a mis-text because he text me earlier in the day? dang i wondered. you text me at 6am to tell me you're tired? WTH? )

 

ME: probably a mistext. no worries ) phone just woke me up. but good morning or good night . however you look at it.

 

(15 minutes later.....still notthing from him)

 

ME: ok not mad or anything. just going back to sleep then. here if you needed an ear.

 

(5 mins later....i am thinking sheesh what if im getting delayed messages from a text he sent back in the afternoon. i have an old flip phone and have gotten delayed messages b4 sometimes hours or a day later...so i text him 1 last time)

 

ME: sorry. it looks like im getting dlayed messages, from this stupid phone again . this text is probably lagging from earlier in the day. sheesh got a text saying "so tired" at 6 am my time. just pls tell me if it was from long ago . if so, i have to think about replacing this old phone for one without delay glitches. hope i didnt wake anyone now. sighs.

 

HIM: i just got up to go to work.

 

HIM: just got my new cab

 

ME: good for u. gratz on your new cab finally. and glad my phone isnt all glitched.

 

HIM: :*

 

ME: ok im seeing all blurry from just waking up. what emote sign is that?

 

HIM: its a kiss on my phone

 

ME: well a sweet thing to wake up to then

 

(1/2 hour later....the phone rings)

 

He calls me. First time without my having to ask him to call me (and i only heard from him once b4 this via a call) ..first time him volunteering..in 23 days. and 11 days of NC from the last call, when he said he'd call me back. you have to understand this man always called and and spoke to me 24/7 for 3 years. im talking everyday. So.......

 

He talks about his new car. i ask him to send me a picture. he says nah. i asked him if he got the picture of me. he says he hasnt read his mail. then tells me in another breath, he saw my emails awhile back and didnt open them. He doesnt say why. (note: geez i sent him relevant emails as to my feelings about him, and that was 2 weeks ago. telling him im sorry i eneded it etc. want him back..etc. say we can take baby steps and he didnt see this? or open my mails? ). but he tells me hes interested in looking at my picture i just sent him to his email, and will get to a WIFI spot. He tells me he wishes he could lay down next to me, because hes tired at work. wants to lay next to me..spoon. i tell him i miss the old us. he doesnt comment or say a word. Then he tells me I have gotten him all nervous like (i didnt even say a word ot make him this way. i was so quiet) and he needs to smoke a cigarette and will call me back.

.......................................................................................................

Im scared guys . meanwhile, he hasnt even told me he likes me anymore let alone loves me. i dont know where he is coming from anymore. this man barely ever even went to work. now hes working all the time. im not kidding. he would drive a cab for 1 week ..and take off for a month. he was like a recluse. now hes getting up early everyday to go to t he job. normally if he were depressed u couldnt get him to leave the house. so if he felt i broke up with him, and we werent together, and if he were sad. he wouldnt be working like this. he'd barely get out of bed. and he sure doesnt sound sad. now hes up and adam going to the job. and not calling me texting me or smoke signaling me till now. im scared he has a new purpose or interest and its not me. he doesnt speak to me at all and now why is he calling? is it to try to get intimate? is that it? the only reason im even semi putting up with this..is because i want to know where i stand. im going to ask him next time we speak..somehow. i was waiting for him to stop being angry at me and tell me where i stand. because weeks ago he was angry. and i think its because he met someone while i was telling him i wanted to go back, with him. i think thats what made him angry. BUT thats NOT why i told him i wanted him. i always did and just made a mistake * byt ending it. i was stressed so bad at the time i made that mistake.

 

But now i havent a clue where hes coming from . but do suspect, its to try to take advantage of my feelings for him..while hes on a new mission in life

what is the male take on this? im not saying anything is happening...its his attempts for it. i do know this is your post. i respect that. and want to help give my take on things too of that will help u. but we seem to be going thru some similar things now..so was wondering ur take on these texts and calls of recent. meanwhile all throughout the day...he gives nothing. for near a month. but im happy for contact because if this cant be again somehow..i need closure. sorry for the length.

[IfiKnewThen]

ps its almost 4pm. 5 hours later..no call back after that cigarette. dont know what to do anymore.

[Atmosphere77]

Looking forward to hearing how it went. I don't see a problem with texting ex's as long as you can leave most emotions and over-analysis out of it. But if she doesn't reply and you spend all day trying to determine why, ask yourself "was it worth it"?

 

Ok, I took your advice and then forgot it lol. This will be a guide on how to get your ex back or not to get your ex back. And I did lose my cool. Remember I wanted closure, to know I was clear with her, possibly work it out. I think I have a chance at all 3.

Here are the texts

 

 

ME Hi, How's your day going?

EX Hi!!! MY day is good, How's yours? Still off Friday's?

ME I'm good and back to working Fridays

EX Good. Any you're still feeling good?

ME Yeah

EX K. Go work and be careful & talk soon

 

I screwed up here but I kinda took that as a blow off and didn't want to wait for when I'd hear from her again

 

 

ME What are u getting out of texting me? Just because I was the one who wanted to try to work things out doesn't mean I need sympathy check ins

EX I wanted to know how you are. Just cuz we aren't together doesn't mean I don't care. I do miss you but i'll leave you alone if that's what you really want

ME I've had a lot to think about. You treated me like crap for months, then when u were physically able you painted on the wall "Hey I'm going out to cheat on you". I don't know if you're out on the town with Disco Dave, finding new places to spread your ashes with Mark, or just doing guys in parking lots with your step sister but I'm not gonna be your text bitch every time you miss me for 5 mins. I'll be fine

EX I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU!!!!!!

ME Lining someone up is the same thing

EX WHAT? And why are you bring up Dave. I never talked or saw him after we did. Whatever! Sorry I made you angry. I will leave you alone. Have a great life!!!!!

ME Yeah I know you didn't get with gropey Rod Stewart. That is how I felt before we broke up. U giving me pity texts and being cold serves no purpose

EX K. I didn't contact you out of pity. I'm not doing this anymore. Sorry about everything. I'm deleting you so I don't contact you anymore.

ME OK. Sorry if you're upset. I'm still getting over the feelings I have for you and this doesn't help. I'll be ok

 

 

5 hours later.........

 

 

EX NO!!!!!!!!!!! You're not going to make me the mean one here!!!!!!!!

Fu*K U ATMOS! We were not happy for a long time. Would you like me to send you all your nasty voicemails from the past year????? I saved them all. U treated me like **** too!!!!! So F*ck U!!!!!! I missed u! and wanted to know how you were. That's why I text u. But you're making me the mean one. DOn't put this all on me. That's wrong. I'm still trying to get over you too & u just made it easier. I'd rather be mad then sad so thanks for making me remember that you still think u r right about everything & I'm always wrong. Going to delete u and be done with this. Don't text back. Not worth it. GO BE HAPPY & FINE AND F*CK OFF! SO THERE!

ME I'm not blaming it all on you. In fact, I think what ended our relationship was more my fault. I think about you and what went wrong all the time. I'm a horrible communicator and you aren't great at it either and that was the main problem. I also think our goals for the future were closer than you think. I miss you like crazy. I'd like to take some more time apart then maybe meet for a drink and see if something is still there. If there is, we can start from scratch.

 

 

1 hour later

EX OK

ME Good

Edited November 16, 2014 by Atmosphere77

[IfiKnewThen]

sounds like u both feel the same way..want the same thing. i feel like u threw the fishing line out so far..and was good u reeled it back in and didnt commit but said you wanted her too like a goal.

 

 

im telling u now tho..she might lose faith. its almost sounds like i have a few more girls to date and see if i want u then will call u and if ur available maybe we can pick it up again

 

warning: imo dont wait too long ..take too much time.

 

i know how i feel being left in the air with my guy.

 

when u get time will u look at my text and tell me what u think i should do to rell him back in if its possible? aNy thoughts would be appreciate. thank u

[SoThatHappened]

Ugh, Atmosphere... Do you see why NC is the best thing to do when there are still feelings involved?

 

Look what you got from contacting her. Ouch. You reaffirmed to her why she doesn't want to be with you, and on top of it, you took a civil situation and made it combative.

 

If you would have just ignored it, she would be painting you in a much better light. Instead, you pushed her away further.

 

The ONLY contact you should have with her is to tell her that you can't contact until you're healed or if she wants to reconcile.

 

That's it!

 

Not being mean, but this is a perfect example of what NOT to do.

 

I hope you and others will learn from this.

[Atmosphere77]

Hi, hope everyone made it through the holiday season in one piece.

 

 

I've been doing the NC thing (me not initiating) to heal and also in hopes of reattracting my ex after making the usual post break up mistakes. The last time I posted that she contacted me and I screwed it up badly but was able to recover. After we were back on good terms I went NC on my end again.

Around thanksgiving, which I normally spent with her family, she contacted me again. We texted back and forth a little but I was trying to end the conversation because at the time I really couldn't deal with her giving me an "Ok, glad you well, BYE!!!!" She just kept texting though. XO's etc. At one point I noticed my text didn't send so I didn't resend it. Back to NC lol.

 

 

So nothing from her after that. I figured she would use the holidays as an excuse so I knew I had to wait until Christmas or New Years but also didn't know if me not texting pissed her off and she was done. I've gotten a lot better in the past 3 months and I'm happy again though I still think about her most of the day.

 

 

I've been dating someone new for about a month now. I'm trying to keep it casual but the girl is way into me. She's great and super sexy but I'm trying to tone it down for now. I'd like to date around for a while if I don't get back with my ex.

 

 

So last night was New Years eve and I was out with the girl I'm dating. She looked great and I ran into one of my ex's friends. She's the one who we met through 3 years ago actually. I introduced her to my date. Later on my ex's friend asked me to come outside with her so she could smoke.

She said she hadn't heard from my ex in a long time which I believe but she seemed to know we broke up. I said some nice things about my ex and our relationship and we moved on to another topic.

 

 

So today I get the text from the ex: Happy New Year! I'm happy if you're happy with someone new! Good for U! But just wanted u to know that I want you to have a great new year and I still think about you often. Hope you're great!!!!

 

 

I was in bed with the girl I'm dating when I got the text so obviously I couldn't respond. I will tomorrow though. Maybe we'll just exchange pleasantries and that's it. I know my ex still has feelings for me. Enough feelings? IDK. I still love her though and can't see not having her in my life at all. Thoughts?

[lil hoodlum]

Focus on your current girl or the ex.

 

Not fair to the new girl as it is clear from your post that your intentions and heart belong to the ex.

 

 

Don't know your story as I am not familiar with it but I would guess that your ex is either just being friendly, stringing you along, or is immature and playing mind-games with you.

 

Personally I think you should put the ex in the past and continue walking forward with your journey with out looking over your shoulder every 5 minutes.

[erklat]

Yes, stop overanalyzing your ex's breadcrumbs.

 

The content of that message is not natural, so it kind of gives you

the answer on what to do about it.