irc333 Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I live in an area where there are a lot of retirees. Noticed quite a few divorces occur with people in their late 50s or even 60s and beyond. THough they've been married many years....why give up at at THIS point? LOL Just curious. So I guess people aren't safe even though they've reached the AARP card carrying age? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 So they can marry someone else? Because they want to be legally single? Because when making a major financial investment (eg buying a house), having a spouse would affect their credit rating and mortgage capacity? Because if they come into a lot of money (eg. inheritance) their estranged spouse could have a claim on it? For pension sharing reasons? Because they don't want their spouse to inherit their money or assets? (Wills can be contested by a surviving spouse) The question should be... if the marriage is over, why remain legally married? No matter the age. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I live in an area where there are a lot of retirees. Noticed quite a few divorces occur with people in their late 50s or even 60s and beyond. THough they've been married many years....why give up at at THIS point? LOL Just curious. So I guess people aren't safe even though they've reached the AARP card carrying age? I think because this a period of huge change in a lot of peoples lives. They go from spending a lot of their time working and focusing on careers etc to retiring and having to find other interests or hobbies to occupy their time. Some people really struggle with that transition and it can impact the relationship. Also it often means more time together as a couple - which sometimes is not a good thing. It can cause any minor or major problems already in the relationship to be exacerbated. Also at this age sometimes one of the couple can be facing certain issues brought on by their age which also impacts the relationship. My father is that age now .... he is starting to show some signs of memory loss - asking the same questions repeatedly etc. Possibly early onset of Dementia .... or maybe he is just getting old - but he refuses to go to the doctor and says there is no issue. I can see it frustrates my mother and she is finding it difficult to deal with constantly. Lastly aside from that I think physiologically its a huge mental change - it's kind of seen as the final chapter in most peoples lives - retiring. If they have been unhappy in their relationship for a long period of time and just putting up with it or getting by they may see this as their last real chance for "love" or "happiness". I think a lot of women at that age now have taken the back seat most of their lives to look after the family needs and due to their husbands career and perhaps want to step out and do their own thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 As if marriage was supposed to give you peace and good will as part of your retirement.. just getting older makes your crumbling marriage better, so by the time someone is in their 70's their marriage will be the best it has ever been You see couples marry while being in their 60's and 70's for companionship but that is different than being with someone you can't stand to hear talk or look at every day. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 THough they've been married many years....why give up at at THIS point? LOL Just curious. If you've been miserable in a marriage for many years, and you realize that you probably only have 10-20 vital years left, why waste them in a miserable marriage? Age brings clarity and wisdom. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 With people that have had kids late in life, unfortunately, it almost might be "too late"... Im one of those people that believes that a divorce is not good on the upbringing of a child...I went through it, so I can relate..>And sure, there are some so called experts that say kids are resilient and adaptive...I dont believe it...Unless things are truly miserable, or there are abuse problems, countless couples have put aside differences and raised their kids properly..which brings on the point of the thread.... If you divorce at say, your early/mid 50's and have younger kids(which isnt so rare these days), then you are going to blow your lives up, kill yourselves to make two seperate households, so that by the time the kids are emancipated, you will be already collecting Social Security and might be in failing health..Who knows??.. At that point, then maybe its not worth it...Lets face it, the prospects of companionship. sex, etc, really start to plummet in the later stages of life....especially for guys, IMO..And some of these guys are going to be stuck with huge alimony payments for the rest of their lives, depending on the marriage..Its a daunting proposition for someone on the downside of earning and viability to work.. Lesson here is life is short....make decisions decisively..No one lives forever... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 I noticed people commonly get divorced when their kid turns 18 and off to college. Guess they wait first until the kids are out of the picture Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I noticed people commonly get divorced when their kid turns 18 and off to college. Guess they wait first until the kids are out of the picture They are doing the right thing in most cases....Divorce sucks for little kids.. Its one of the many sacrifices people make for their kids.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
jackslife Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 With people that have had kids late in life, unfortunately, it almost might be "too late"... Im one of those people that believes that a divorce is not good on the upbringing of a child...I went through it, so I can relate..>And sure, there are some so called experts that say kids are resilient and adaptive...I dont believe it...Unless things are truly miserable, or there are abuse problems, countless couples have put aside differences and raised their kids properly..which brings on the point of the thread.... If you divorce at say, your early/mid 50's and have younger kids(which isnt so rare these days), then you are going to blow your lives up, kill yourselves to make two seperate households, so that by the time the kids are emancipated, you will be already collecting Social Security and might be in failing health..Who knows??.. At that point, then maybe its not worth it...Lets face it, the prospects of companionship. sex, etc, really start to plummet in the later stages of life....especially for guys, IMO..And some of these guys are going to be stuck with huge alimony payments for the rest of their lives, depending on the marriage..Its a daunting proposition for someone on the downside of earning and viability to work.. Lesson here is life is short....make decisions decisively..No one lives forever... TFY This is very true. One thing not mentioned about having children late in life is that it makes the breaking of an unhappy marriage so much harder. Friends of friends had a phase when a lot of them turned 50 and suddenly started divorcing. It was as if this was the last chance saloon to start afresh while they still had the last remnants of sex and attractiveness in them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 There's this one woman at work, a 50 year old GREAT grandmother. Had a pretty long standing marraige with a guy. She's currently separated with him. She lives out in the country as was pretty much lived the life of a domestic sort, catering to kids and of course husband all her life. She grew weary of it and decided to go the selfish route by "It's now time for me." by forgoing her husband. She claims he's a great/nice guy, but just grew weary of the domesticated life of a housewife. He never cheated on her, abused her, etc. nothing like that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 There's this one woman at work, a 50 year old GREAT grandmother. Had a pretty long standing marraige with a guy. She's currently separated with him. She lives out in the country as was pretty much lived the life of a domestic sort, catering to kids and of course husband all her life. She grew weary of it and decided to go the selfish route by "It's now time for me." by forgoing her husband. She claims he's a great/nice guy, but just grew weary of the domesticated life of a housewife. He never cheated on her, abused her, etc. nothing like that at all. It's not too late for her to create a life she enjoys. It sounds like her husband was a drain on her spirit rather than a partner in living her dreams. That's a shame. Gotta put the effort in and support each other for marriage to thrive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 There's this one woman at work, a 50 year old GREAT grandmother. Had a pretty long standing marraige with a guy. She's currently separated with him. She lives out in the country as was pretty much lived the life of a domestic sort, catering to kids and of course husband all her life. She grew weary of it and decided to go the selfish route by "It's now time for me." by forgoing her husband. She claims he's a great/nice guy, but just grew weary of the domesticated life of a housewife. He never cheated on her, abused her, etc. nothing like that at all. Do you think she did something wrong? If she was unhappy should she have given up on her life just because she is 50 years old? Link to post Share on other sites
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