Filing Question

[Tkatz00]

Good afternoon,

 

 

My husband and I have been separated now for 4 months after a short 1.5 years of marriage. He left on his own stating he simply didn't want to be married any longer.

 

 

Nobody has filed the necessary separation agreement and I'm sort of torn as to should I force him into filing since he wants this or should I simply say "the hell with him" and file myself just to get it over with? We own no home together and have no children together.

 

 

If I file, I'm going for abandonment and desertion.

 

 

Thank you in advance for any advice.

[DivorcedDad123]

File it yourself. It should be pretty simple,since the marriage was so short and no kids are involved. If your state has a mandantory waiting period,you'll at least get the ball rolling. If he doesn't respond within a certain time limit,you'll be divorced by default. Go talk to an attorney and they'll help you through it.

[carhill]

If your family court has a web site, information on procedure may be there. I'd check there first and, if no joy, stop in at the court house and ask around in person. The clerk of the court can direct you and your court may have a self-help division which assists on procedures at no cost to citizens. They also may be able to direct you to the proper forms for requesting filing fee and service waivers. What I found, when my exW and I divorced, was that the court itself was a treasure trove of excellent information which saved me a bunch of money on attorney costs. Yeah, I still had an attorney and paid him plenty, but understanding the procedures of the court, as well as getting a court referral to *free* mediation saved a lot too.

 

That said, the court will never provide legal advice. You have to pay a lawyer for that. I paid my lawyer's retainer in cash and used a frequent flyer credit card to pay his billable hours, which provided me a one-way free flight to visit friends when it was done.

 

My best advice as someone who started out ignorant and went through the process is to learn first, get details direct from the court, and hire an attorney for specifics you need addressed, before filing any sort of lawsuit, which is what divorce is. This of course presumes money is an object. Otherwise, simply hire an attorney, let them deal with it and move on in life. Good luck!

[Turtles]

Depending on state it can be a pretty simple process to file it yourself if he agrees to it and there is no alimony, child support, or division of assets to worry about. Like Carhill said you can ask the court clerk and while they can't give you legal advice they can provide you with the necessary forms and give you the basic process (if they are nice). In some states there are also lawyers who will do the paperwork for a very low cost and you can do everything by mail without having to spend a minute in court or even leave your house (again as long as you both agree to it) It is really just a formality in your case. Abandonment and desertion won't make a difference except maybe make him hesitate to sign the papers. So just don't even mention that.

[carhill]

If the guy isn't responsive, in my jurisdiction the petitioner can file a motion for default and summary judgment on the original filing, which may streamline things and cut costs. That's another process the court can advise on. Generally, when one files a lawsuit, a process server (sheriff in my case) serves it upon the respondent and the courts time clock for response starts ticking. If the clock runs without a properly formed and filed and served response, then the petitioner can proceed to default and summary judgement if they so choose. Your court will have the specifics.