Wanting a guy with both a good career & good looks considered having high standards?

[Mangina]

And honestly all I'd want is a nice loyal girl that I'm attracted to that genuinely cares about me. Don't care about what job they have, I mean yeah it would nice if they had a good job, but it's not like it's a requirement.

 

I will be honest and say that i have never met a guy who didn't like a girl because she had a crumby job.

[MissBee]

I'm just confused about this whole thread, since a month ago everyone was saying they would have no problem how much a guy/woman makes as long as they can support themselves. Now all of a sudden everyone is saying almost the complete opposite. So it's like to those that were saying it "doesn't matter", are now saying it does matter if they want to get married to that person. So why even go out with them in the first place if their job is going to be a huge problem later on?

 

Everyone? Who is this everyone you're talking about?

 

Also it makes a lot of sense that what someone doesn't care about in CASUAL dating becomes different if you're gonna marry and make a life with and have kids with someone.If I'm not serious about a man I will overlook some things but someone I'm looking to be my husband/life partner will be held to a different standard. This seems pretty logical to me.

 

In any event, I don't know who is everyone and what thread you're talking about where "everyone" supposedly didn't care. Your initial question was about if this woman who wanted a man to be good looking and have a good job had too high of a standard...I'm not seeing how that question and a question about caring how much someone makes are the same questions.

 

You also did not answer the question about what would be a reasonable standard for women to have. If you don't care what kind of job someone has, then you're free not to care. No one is forcing you to care about that, but to paint it as though people who do care are "gold diggers" or have "too high standards" are in the wrong doesn't make sense to me. A good job or even having a career as opposed to being a waiter (which was your example) isn't even about money really...career tends to imply that this person is invested in what they do in a way that is fulfilling to them as a person and has long term potential meanwhile a job, like waiting tables, tends to be something people do to make money and is a shorter term thing. People who do a job just to make money usually aren't as happy with it as someone in a career they love...this is also a factor why someone may prefer someone with a career over a job and where it isn't just about money.

 

It seems imprudent to me esp if we're talking marriage and not just random dating that you will not care about any other concrete factors besides if the person is nice and loyal and you're attracted to them (which oddly you seem to have a problem with the woman in question wanting men she's attracted to but it's fine for you).

[NJ123]

Edit: my mistake read the previous question wrong. But I think a woman should look for whatever it is that she brings to the table herself. If she has a bitchy personality, than in my opinion she has no right trying to get with a nice guy. Or if she isn't that attractive herself, than she shouldn't have it as a requirement to get with some fit body attractive looking guy that most women seem to love. I think in terms of a job though, it shouldn't matter since you're job doesn't define you as a person. Like I said, you could get along with someone perfect, but because their job doesn't meet your standards than you wouldn't want to be with them? In my opinion that would make me feel that person is too high maintenance & I wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

[NJ123]

I didn't want get middle but I saw you going back and forth with that guy on the other thread where you said girls dont caring if a guy works at walmart. You don't need this thread you can just take a look around and see that isn't true or even close to true.

 

Now I'm actually starting to question that a bit honestly..... Since a majority of the women in this thread require a guy to have a good job.

[NJ123]

Everyone? Who is this everyone you're talking about?

 

Also it makes a lot of sense that what someone doesn't care about in CASUAL dating becomes different if you're gonna marry and make a life with and have kids with someone.If I'm not serious about a man I will overlook some things but someone I'm looking to be my husband/life partner will be held to a different standard. This seems pretty logical to me.

 

In any event, I don't know who is everyone and what thread you're talking about where "everyone" supposedly didn't care. Your initial question was about if this woman who wanted a man to be good looking and have a good job had too high of a standard...I'm not seeing how that question and a question about caring how much someone makes are the same questions.

 

You also did not answer the question about what would be a reasonable standard for women to have. If you don't care what kind of job someone has, then you're free not to care. No one is forcing you to care about that, but to paint it as though people who do care are "gold diggers" or have "too high standards" are in the wrong doesn't make sense to me. A good job or even having a career as opposed to being a waiter (which was your example) isn't even about money really...career tends to imply that this person is invested in what they do in a way that is fulfilling to them as a person and has long term potential meanwhile a job, like waiting tables, tends to be something people do to make money and is a shorter term thing. People who do a job just to make money usually aren't as happy with it as someone in a career they love...this is also a factor why someone may prefer someone with a career over a job and where it isn't just about money.

 

It seems imprudent to me esp if we're talking marriage and not just random dating that you will not care about any other concrete factors besides if the person is nice and loyal and you're attracted to them (which oddly you seem to have a problem with the woman in question wanting men she's attracted to but it's fine for you).

 

So technically you admitted you use those guys for sex than dump them........Just the type of woman I want to be with.

 

And okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit when I said "everyone", but the vast majority were saying it doesn't matter as long as they can support themselves.

[Mangina]

Now I'm actually starting to question that a bit honestly..... Since a majority of the women in this thread require a guy to have a good job.

 

Just look around you man, don't worry about anything someone says on a forum or even in person.

 

That guy, as much as I don't like him, was right, not just about that, but a lot of things that set everybody off.

[NJ123]

Just look around you man, don't worry about anything someone says on a forum or even in person.

 

That guy, as much as I don't like him, was right, not just about that, but a lot of things that set everybody off.

 

Well, I still believe a lot of women don't care about a guy's job. It's just a lot do though. I'm starting to believe though that a lot of women lie about not caring just so they don't look bad. People on forums could really **** with your perception of things if you let it.

[MissBee]

So technically you admitted you use those guys for sex than dump them........Just the type of woman I want to be with.

And okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit when I said "everyone", but the vast majority were saying it doesn't matter as long as they can support themselves.

 

 

I'm sorry but you jumped from A-Z with that quite illogical conclusion.

 

First: you're assuming I'm "using" these men for sex and dumping them. How do you know I have sex with them? How do you know we haven't agreed to the terms of what we want from each other? Oh that's right...you don't know but just jumped to conclusions.

 

You and I aren't going to be dating each other, so you'r right, even if I was doing that, it wouldn't matter whether or not you approved.

 

Everyone you date will not be your spouse and I think most people with any sense can acknowledge this and choose to date someone for the short term and *gasp* BOTH of them can agree to date casually before moving on without it means you're using someone for sex and dumping them lol...but alright .

[Mangina]

Well, I still believe a lot of women don't care about a guy's job. It's just a lot do though. I'm starting to believe though that a lot of women lie about not caring just so they don't look bad. People on forums could really **** with your perception of things if you let it.

 

I am not sure how many you mean when say a lot. Have you ever met an attractive girl with a poor husband? I have seen girls that date guys that work at walmart or any low paying job and they are not exactly the most attractive.

[NJ123]

 

I'm sorry but you jumped from A-Z with that quite illogical conclusion.

 

First: you're assuming I'm "using" these men for sex and dumping them. How do you know I have sex with them? How do you know we haven't agreed to the terms of what we want from each other? Oh that's right...you don't know but just jumped to conclusions.

 

You and I aren't going to be dating each other, so you'r right, even if I was doing that, it wouldn't matter whether or not you approved.

 

Everyone you date will not be your spouse and I think most people with any sense can acknowledge this and choose to date someone for the short term and *gasp* BOTH of them can agree to date casually before moving on without it means you're using someone for sex and dumping them lol...but alright .

 

Okay....so if you're not serious about the guy why even date them in the first place..... And what's their to "overlook" if you're not serious about them in the first place? Do you just go out with some guys randomly for the hell of it if you already know they don't meet your required standards?

[Divasu]

And honestly all I'd want is a nice loyal girl that I'm attracted to that genuinely cares about me. Don't care about what job they have, I mean yeah it would nice if they had a good job, but it's not like it's a requirement.

 

I don't know how old you are (or how old she is) but here are some further examples (don't know if they will be helpful or not):

 

Example A.

During High School, boyfriend at the time (who was a few years older) had a full time job, had a decent income, and lived at home with his parents. I began working my last year in high school part-time. He made more money than I.

 

Example B.

Post graduation, I had a full-time job and boyfriend at the time (who was around same age as me) had just begun getting his feet wet in his career. His car, was his Dad's Station Wagon, with wood paneling (oh how I remember that car:laugh:). I initially made a bit more than he income wise, and carried most of the bills for us and incurred more debt as a result.

 

Example C.

Mid/late twenties boyfriend, had a great job as a Union Electrician (I had a good job with an advertising/marketing agency and made a decent figure). I lived in my own apartment, with my own car, he lived with his sister and drove a Ford Fiesta. He made way more money than I.

 

At this stage in my life, it is highly unlikely that I would pursue a relationship with someone in Category B. Not because he isn't pulling in a high figure income, but because I have my own financial obligations to contend with and the thought of there being the remote possibility of taking on someone else's expenses, would be a disaster.

[Mangina]

Okay....so if you're not serious about the guy why even date them in the first place..... And what's their to "overlook" if you're not serious about them in the first place? Do you just go out with some guys randomly for the hell of it if you already know they don't meet your required standards?

 

You will never get a girl to admit that. Not in person, not on a forum, not anywhere.

[NJ123]

I am not sure how many you mean when say a lot. Have you ever met an attractive girl with a poor husband? I have seen girls that date guys that work at walmart or any low paying job and they are not exactly the most attractive.

 

Well a guy the other day told me he knows a really attractive doctor that is with a guy with 1 arm. So obviously there's some good attractive women out there that can overlook things about someone. Not sure what that guy does for a job but I'm pretty positive he don't make as much as her but he must be a really good guy.

[Mangina]

Well a guy the other day told me he knows a really attractive doctor that is with a guy with 1 arm. So obviously there's some good attractive women out there that can overlook things about someone. Not sure what that guy does for a job but I'm pretty positive he don't make as much as her but he must be a really good guy.

 

I wouldn't hold my breath while looking for a girl like that. Most of time girls like guys who look good and make good money. I do not think it is a coincidence that all the girls who have ever liked me were overweight. It is like that guy told you that they do the best they can. Everything else like similar interests and good person come in after the first 2 things I said. You really should look at most people at your job and community instead of 1 thing somebody told you.

[NJ123]

I don't know how old you are (or how old she is) but here are some further examples (don't know if they will be helpful or not):

 

Example A.

During High School, boyfriend at the time (who was a few years older) had a full time job, had a decent income, and lived at home with his parents. I began working my last year in high school part-time. He made more money than I.

 

Example B.

Post graduation, I had a full-time job and boyfriend at the time (who was around same age as me) had just begun getting his feet wet in his career. His car, was his Dad's Station Wagon, with wood paneling (oh how I remember that car:laugh:). I initially made a bit more than he income wise, and carried most of the bills for us and incurred more debt as a result.

 

Example C.

Mid/late twenties boyfriend, had a great job as a Union Electrician (I had a good job with an advertising/marketing agency and made a decent figure). I lived in my own apartment, with my own car, he lived with his sister and drove a Ford Fiesta. He made way more money than I.

 

At this stage in my life, it is highly unlikely that I would pursue a relationship with someone in Category B. Not because he isn't pulling in a high figure income, but because I have my own financial obligations to contend with and the thought of there being the remote possibility of taking on someone else's expenses, would be a disaster.

 

The guy in option B seems to have money handling problems from what you say. Since if he has a job, why are you paying for all the bills? That's an entirely different thing than not being able to live within his own means.

[Divasu]

The guy in option B seems to have money handling problems from what you say. That's an entirely different thing than not being able to live within his own means. And he was only just beginning his career from what you say.

 

True. He enjoyed spending money on things for himself (expensive perfume, hair products, nice clothes, etc.). He was a bit of a metrosexual you could say.

[NJ123]

True. He enjoyed spending money on things for himself (expensive perfume, hair products, nice clothes, etc.). He was a bit of a metrosexual you could say.

 

lol bingo. I knew right away that was the case. So you're post is entirely irrelevant & no offense but it seems you just don't want to date a guy in that category because he doesn't make as much as you desire even if he could afford things with no money problems.

 

And missbee suddenly disappeared from the discussion when I asked her those legitimate questions.......

[NJ123]

You will never get a girl to admit that. Not in person, not on a forum, not anywhere.

 

Seems you were right.

[Divasu]

lol bingo. I knew right away that was the case. So you're post is entirely irrelevant & no offense but it seems you just don't want to date a guy in that category because he doesn't make as much as you desire even if he could afford things with no money problems.

 

And missbee suddenly disappeared from the discussion when I asked her those legitimate questions.......

 

Oh no offense taken.

 

Like I said earlier, my choice, my right. Not yours.

[Mangina]

Seems you were right.

 

Go out and see for your self. Go to the pharmacy and get some red pills.

[NJ123]

Oh no offense taken.

 

Like I said earlier, my choice, my right. Not yours.

 

But why were you trying to twist things around on me for when I caught you on an entirely irrelevant post lol. Just seems you dislike my stance on what I'm saying so you're trying to defend the other women in this thread.

[Thegreatestthing]

All my bfs had low paying jobs and I'm no beast I have been asked out by architects and marketing guys etc etc but I rarely have enough In common with them.

 

My last bf was a struggling classical musician with a few part time jobs,briefly dated a guy who wrote graphic novels and made films but was working at walmart.I didn't care in the slightest but it was a big deal to other girls he tried to date,so yes it is a big deal to a lot of girls, just not the bohemian ones.

 

most people hate their life,they dread Mondays I don't call that freedom,I don't want a guy that's stuck in that crazy rat race.id much rather live in some little cabin somewhere eating berries all day

 

I am not sure how many you mean when say a lot. Have you ever met an attractive girl with a poor husband? I have seen girls that date guys that work at walmart or any low paying job and they are not exactly the most attractive.

[Divasu]

But why were you trying to twist things around on me for when I caught you on an entirely irrelevant post lol. Just seems you dislike my stance on what I'm saying so you're trying to defend the other women in this thread.

 

I wasn't trying to twist anything. Was just sharing with you my experience because you seemed genuine at some point in the thread.

 

Tried to be helpful, and you chose to sh*t all over it.

[RedRobin]

One of my friends was a direct report to the VP of a large, multinational corporation. Her husband was a surveyor.

 

Another one of my friends is a top scientist. Has over 75 patents to her name. Her husband is a construction worker.

 

Yet another acquaintance is a executive program manager making well over $200K a year. Her husband is a high school teacher.

 

I myself made more than my ex H... And made more than my now deceased fiancée.

 

I never placed any criteria on a guy's job or income. He needs to be financially stable and be able to support himself. And I prefer people who like what they do and are good at it... Whatever it is. They tend to be more pleasant companions overall.

[Mangina]

All my bfs had low paying jobs and I'm no beast I have been asked out by architects and marketing guys etc etc but I rarely have enough In common with them.

 

My last bf was a struggling classical musician with a few part time jobs,briefly dated a guy who wrote graphic novels and made films but was working at walmart.I didn't care in the slightest but it was a big deal to other girls he tried to date,so yes it is a big deal to a lot of girls, just not the bohemian ones.

 

most people hate their life,they dread Mondays I don't call that freedom,I don't want a guy that's stuck in that crazy rat race.id much rather live in some little cabin somewhere eating berries all day

 

You did not marry him, did you? he would not happen to be guy who texted you for 2 years and stopped when you told him to?