irc333 Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I had recently hosted a Dinner and a Movie Meetup event. There had been about 7 that RSVPed "Yes", but only 2 ladies showed up, not including myself. We watched the movie and as scheduled was the dinner right after. We sat down, placed our orders and started talking about the movie and getting to know each other. It was only 3 of us and then the woman gets a notification of a Sushi Dinner Meetup that was...well, going on right now. She said she had to leave for it. I looked at her strangely and said, "You're serious? You're leaving for that Meetup?" She goes, "Yeah, I forgot I had that Meetup for today as well." I said, "Okay, fine, whatever...have fun!" Of course, my tone wasn't of enthusiasm. Me and the other woman are kind of put off by this and even the server was thought that was odd when she asked for the "to-go" container before the dinner was even served. LOL Guess there was some hot guy she's been wanting to meet or something. *Shrug* who knows. But wouldn't you think that's a bit rude? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Well, it's weird. But. Were these two women you had just met? It's not uncommon for 'us' to have a backup plan, an out. As in, my friend calls me with an emergency, and off I go. Perhaps she enjoyed the movie, but wasn't looking forward to nearly one on one conversation. How was the rest of dinner with the other woman? Sounds awkward. Did the two ladies know each other prior to this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 Well, it's weird. But. Were these two women you had just met? It's not uncommon for 'us' to have a backup plan, an out. As in, my friend calls me with an emergency, and off I go. Perhaps she enjoyed the movie, but wasn't looking forward to nearly one on one conversation. How was the rest of dinner with the other woman? Sounds awkward. Did the two ladies know each other prior to this? Even if it's a "Back up" plan, it's still discourteous to leave right in the middle of it. Doesn't make it any better if it's premeditated. No, they didn't know each other prior to this. I think they may have met at a couple of Meetups, but never really KNEW each other well. One is married, it's just that her husband is on a government contract overseas for long periods of time, the single woman is a retired school teacher, her age is in the mid-60's. The other woman likely in her mid 50's. This has always been a pet peeve of mine. I refer to them as "Meetup Hoppers", they just buzz around like little social bees, but aren't willing to stick around for the duration. I mean, if she had said, "Hey, it was nice meeting you guys, but I gotta get going." and left right after the movie and didn't meet us at the restaurant, I'd be cool with that. But to sit down, place the order and settle in, you might as well stick around for the duration. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I've seen that happen at a meet up too. Except it was 4 of 5 girls rider left. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I agree that it was rude. I think it's best to cancel a meet up dinner if there aren't enough takers. You probably need to have about 15 signed up at least to have 5 turn up. I can see why many would find having a dinner with two complete strangers they aren't clicking with daunting. We only started organising dinners once there was a solid circle of people turning up at events. Until then it was drinks and trips away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 I've seen that happen at a meet up too. Except it was 4 of 5 girls rider left. Rider? Huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 I agree that it was rude. I think it's best to cancel a meet up dinner if there aren't enough takers. You probably need to have about 15 signed up at least to have 5 turn up. I can see why many would find having a dinner with two complete strangers they aren't clicking with daunting. . Actually, we were clicking rather well, that was the shocking part. There were no awkward pauses or anything. Some people just lack social graces. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 pretty rude.. I wouldn't allow her to attend anymore of them. she was either disappointed at the number of men in attendance and just bolted or is a geniune ass clown. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 It's a bit rude but I'd probably not have said anything to her about it. If she'd rather go to something else, then hey, let her go, as it is probably better than being stuck with someone who's only staying because they feel obligated to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Da Lonely 1 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Meetup events take will power. Can you tell if they seemed shy? Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I had recently hosted a Dinner and a Movie Meetup event. There had been about 7 that RSVPed "Yes", but only 2 ladies showed up, not including myself. Huh, I always thought you were a guy. Strange... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Huh, I always thought you were a guy. Strange... You caut that to ha I had to read it a few times then figured it was a typo still tho.. Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 You caut that to ha I had to read it a few times then figured it was a typo still tho.. Is it a typo? lol Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Sounds like her other commitment had slipped her mind and she was just honest about it. I can't imagine she left with no apology. If I had been leading the meet up I would have cancelled the meal and checked to see if anyone wanted a quick drink after instead as a meal with total strangers and so few people would feel awkward to me unless we all just clicked instantly. A meal is a long time to sit and talk with total strangers. I get the feeling that you would have felt she was rude had she not turned up at all or had she left after the movie. People do have choices and they are entitled to exercise that choice. Perhaps next time make sure that you stipulate that any who sign up are obligated to attend and obligated to stay for the duration. Otherwise you'll just need to chill a bit and be more open and accepting that you cannot control people. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I don't think she shouldn't be allowed at other events. Meetups by their nature are inclusive. You get all sorts just like you would if met them through your friends. You can't just exclude people because you don't click or don't like them. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Saying "sorry, I found a better offer" is a bit insulting, but I don't think you should be rude or angry with her. Saying "fine, whatever, have fun...." might affect the numbers in future events. I wouldn't go back if the host used that tone to someone who at least bothered to show up to the event. What about "thanks for coming, it was nice to meet you. Hope to catch up again some time" You want these ladies to walk away saying "wow, what a fun meetup group!" and recommend it highly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ready2DateAgain Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I did a meetup and one girl I was talking to out of the 3 that were at the table was cool but the alpha female called the shots apparently these two young girls followed the cougar and we were left behind they all did their thing,anyhow no longer doing meet ups obviously these people have issues this is why they need to always find new friends Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Anyone consider she may have some sort of social phobia, suffer from panic attacks or a medical problem that meant she HAD to go, suddenly and unexpectently. It may be that she had a prior engagement or she just wasn't interested in spending time with those present, but to ban her is a bit strong especially if she does suffer from some sort of problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 18, 2014 Author Share Posted November 18, 2014 It may be that she had a prior engagement.. This, apparently she "double booked" overlapping Meetups. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 If I had been leading the meet up I would have cancelled the meal and checked to see if anyone wanted a quick drink after instead as a meal with total strangers and so few people would feel awkward to me unless we all just clicked instantly. A meal is a long time to sit and talk with total strangers. I agree with this, and perhaps not make it dinner and a movie - which is a long time, as those are two big events. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Actually, we were clicking rather well, that was the shocking part. There were no awkward pauses or anything. Some people just lack social graces. People can be good at concealing that they don't feel comfortable around others. This whole dinner and a movie with two complete strangers sounds incredibly awkward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Saying "sorry, I found a better offer" is a bit insulting, but I don't think you should be rude or angry with her. Saying "fine, whatever, have fun...." might affect the numbers in future events. I wouldn't go back if the host used that tone to someone who at least bothered to show up to the event. What about "thanks for coming, it was nice to meet you. Hope to catch up again some time" You want these ladies to walk away saying "wow, what a fun meetup group!" and recommend it highly. I agree with this. The meetup sounded like it got off to an awkward start and then the two women were basically forced to sit through a meal with the OP. In the future I would make sure that there is a friendly atmosphere that one can leave or join at their own free will and not feel like they are required to be there for a specified amount of time. Was there any mutual agreement after the movie about where to go, or was there just a dinner planned so that's what the three of you were expected to do? I'd be really put off by a rigid itinerary with something like this, so hopefully the OP asked opinions on what to do after the movie. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 I agree with this. The meetup sounded like it got off to an awkward start and then the two women were basically forced to sit through a meal with the OP. In the future I would make sure that there is a friendly atmosphere that one can leave or join at their own free will and not feel like they are required to be there for a specified amount of time. Was there any mutual agreement after the movie about where to go, or was there just a dinner planned so that's what the three of you were expected to do? I'd be really put off by a rigid itinerary with something like this, so hopefully the OP asked opinions on what to do after the movie. The dinner was entitled "Dinner and a Movie". So they already knew. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 People can be good at concealing that they don't feel comfortable around others. This whole dinner and a movie with two complete strangers sounds incredibly awkward. Well, they are adults, I'm sure they were able to hack it. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well, they are adults, I'm sure they were able to hack it. Except one clearly wasn't able to, lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts