Author irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Except one clearly wasn't able to, lol. You don't know that. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 The dinner was entitled "Dinner and a Movie". So they already knew. Yeah but if I were you in that situation and only two people showed up, I'd ask those two people if they were still up for dinner after the movie or would they prefer to just get a drink and call it a night. The situation changed from a group thing to a three-person thing, and as the organizer, you need to be aware of that and be flexible. It sounds like it's your way or the highway and if it doesn't go your way you pout. I'm trying to not sound like a jerk but it probably comes across like that because I get irritated when people blame others without taking some responsibility for themselves. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well, congratulations on hosting your own Meetup. I tried that for a writers' group and it is a lot of work for little reward. I'm happy I live near a big city with lots of skilled hosts to make things happen, but taking the initiative again would be cool. Anyway, sounds like she wanted to be in a bigger group and when it turned out to be just you and another woman, she might have felt awkward about it. I have been there a few times. I tend to be strong with breaking ice once I have a 'in' in a social situation, but it can intimidate some people, just like cold approaches scare most of us. Keep trying! Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well, congratulations on hosting your own Meetup. I tried that for a writers' group and it is a lot of work for little reward. Thank you, Mario! Agreed. I'll keep trying though, but might take a break from hosting. I just recently got in touch with an old Meetup organizer. It was a rather LARGE social club when Meetup was in its prime. She quit being an organizer LONG ago, and still to this DAY cringes at the idea of ever doing it again. Apparently there was a lot of bad blood and whiny people who didn't appreciate all the work she put into it. Most of these people are "one shot wonders". At the Halloween party two new faces/women showed up. Got in touch with them saying it was nice meeting them and asked them if they plan on attending the "such and such" event next weekend or whatever event coming...no response. A lot of the whole "Revolving Door" thing is going on when it comes to Meetups. People in and out constantly. If you've noticed, some of the Meetups register over 1,000 people yet, only like 10 of the same people routinely show up. However, they come out of the woodwork when it's a major holiday event (Labor Day, 4th of July, etc) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Yeah but if I were you in that situation and only two people showed up, I'd ask those two people if they were still up for dinner after the movie or would they prefer to just get a drink and call it a night. The situation changed from a group thing to a three-person thing, and as the organizer, you need to be aware of that and be flexible. It sounds like it's your way or the highway and if it doesn't go your way you pout. I have known organizers to broadcast an email to the entire group, naming names of those who RSVP'ed "Yes" because they were no-shows. lol. Anyhow, why should I "change things" on the fly if it's only 3 people? Rather wishy-washy on my part. After the movie, I was like "So you wanna still head over to <name of restaurant>." And they were like "Sure!" I'm trying to not sound like a jerk but it probably comes across like that because I get irritated when people blame others without taking some responsibility for themselves. Yeah, she should take responsibility of not just up and leaving in the middle of dinner like that. I mean, you place the order, and bail for another Meetup? It's really a social faux pax. Not sure why you need to make excuses for that person's behavior and spin it on me by saying, "Well, you should be aware!" Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Anyhow, why should I "change things" on the fly if it's only 3 people? Rather wishy-washy on my part. After the movie, I was like "So you wanna still head over to <name of restaurant>." And they were like "Sure!" As a Meetup organiser (I used to be one) it's part of your duty to acquire skills that allow you to handle difficult and unforeseen circumstances. This was one of those. The correct approach would have been to watch the movie and offer a choice of drinks only or a meal to the ladies to let them (and yourself) escape from a situation that they didn't expect. A good organiser is flexible and doesn't stick to the script. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Most of these people are "one shot wonders". At the Halloween party two new faces/women showed up. Got in touch with them saying it was nice meeting them and asked them if they plan on attending the "such and such" event next weekend or whatever event coming...no response. I mentioned this in one of your other threads, but I get the impression you are one of those guys that tries to latch onto "fresh meat", "get it while the iron's hot", so to speak. It's worth some introspection but instead you blame them for not responding? Why would they need to respond? They didn't care for the MeetUp and didn't wish to return. I've also said in the past, that my female friends and coworkers that have gone to MeetUps and not returned all have the same complaint: that's there's always some strange guy that is latching onto them because they are new and they are creeped out. They avoid the entire MeetUp because of that one guy. Sorry to be so harsh, but think about that. Try not to be that guy. He makes people uncomfortable. Even more so when he wants to take their picture and post it on the internet, as you've mentioned you like to do. Yeah, she should take responsibility of not just up and leaving in the middle of dinner like that. I mean, you place the order, and bail for another Meetup? It's really a social faux pax. Well, okay. It's strange and rude and a social faux pax, but you handled it poorly. Inflexible people that get butt-hurt easily are not fun to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Anyhow, why should I "change things" on the fly if it's only 3 people? Rather wishy-washy on my part. After the movie, I was like "So you wanna still head over to <name of restaurant>." And they were like "Sure!" Yeah, she should take responsibility of not just up and leaving in the middle of dinner like that. I mean, you place the order, and bail for another Meetup? It's really a social faux pax. To be totally honest - and I only feel I can say this as I have sole hosted several single's meets from 4 attendees to to over 300 attendees - cancelling the dinner and instead opting for something more lightweight is taking control of things and being aware that 3 people who are strangers could be pretty awkward. I would hate for someone to feel 'obliged' to stay and actually I find it refreshing that the lady you posted about didn't stay when she clearly didn't want to. She had a choice when she was contacted and she chose to leave. In my book that is fine. It's not like she didn't pay for her order or flat out cancel it - she paid and took it with her from what you had said. Link to post Share on other sites
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