cocoham Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I will try to keep this short and to the point. Please forgive me if I sound dumb but this is all new to me and I'm kind of in shock over it all. Husband walked out on family on Aug 2 (he said he was suicidal, ptsd) He sent me an email Aug 9th ( wishing we could be together?) Never answered calls, texts, emails from me or our 2 children I received divorce papers Oct 30th that he had filed on Aug 13th....? He sent them to my PO Box, months after they were filed. He has a friend that is a police officer here. A friend of mine thinks his police officer friend signed off that I was served back in Aug and then husband just sat on the papers a few months before sending to me. Am I just out of luck on asking for any support now? I don't want the world from him just support to help me for 6 months or so, to get on my feet. Isn't this completely illegal and should I try to get the money to talk to a lawyer? I've searched for free legal support and found one class I signed up for that was cancelled...Any help is appreciated. I know this is not legal advice, just want your thoughts on this weird situation. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 We're not in same country so I'm not sure how relevant this is. However, over here we are able to get a free hour consultation with a solicitor (lawyer). I just looked online and there is a website site giving freeadvice where it looks like you can post a question? I'm sorry this is happening, but it sounds very odd to me too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cocoham Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 Thank you for reply. It is odd, after 24 years of marriage. I will look for that web site. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
GirlStillStrong Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Look for a divorce lawyer in your state who gives free consultations. Whether you can serve a person at a PO Box depends on your state. Most states will have a dedicated website with a lot of information for people in your position. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 It has always been my understanding that in order to serve by mail you have to have the signature of the accepting party, a means such as signature requested or FedEx would be used and it has to be signed by the person in the document rather than just a coworker or someone else. I doubt you can serve someone by mailing something to their PO box unless they sent it in a fashion that you would sign for it and I know that FedEx doesn't deliver to PO boxes.. Get an attorney.. your STBX is trying to pull a fast one on you in order to get a divorce without having to divide assets or pay support. At the very least go to the court house and speak to someone there about it and how to file a response but really you need legal counsel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cocoham Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 Well the papers I received is a summon that I have 30 days from Aug 18th. He sent these papers to my UPS box on Oct 30 (from out of state) w/no return address. I signed for them on Nov. 4th I have had a hard time finding "free" consults w/ lawyers, but will keep trying. I signed up for a free class on Divorce/legal help that was cancelled last minute. I will go to superior court next week to see what I can do or what they advise. I'm just worried I'm out of luck because he sat on them for so long and the 30 days is up. Thank you so much for your replies. I don't feel so alone after finding this site. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 I doubt he is allowed to do that.. at the very least the 30 days would start ticking from the date signed rather than what is in the papers. I doubt PO boxes are an allowed mechanism seeing that they require someone to check them and pick it up rather than the postman finding you and it could be months or months before they get checked. I think maybe it is time to hire someone to look out for your best interests so you don't get screwed by him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cocoham Posted November 15, 2014 Author Share Posted November 15, 2014 Right, the whole thing is just so shady. It seems as though I should have some recourse since I can prove (thankfully) that I received them so late. Hopefully I will make some head way next week at the court house. Thanks again:) Link to post Share on other sites
GirlStillStrong Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Make sure you are going to the right court and yes, see if any papers were filed. Just because he gave them or mailed them to you does not mean anyone actually filed them with the court. In my state you can look up your name on the judicial system website to see what cases are in the court that you are involved in. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlStillStrong Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Also, if you want to understand the rules to see if what he did was allowable by the court, google your state name and "service of process." Look for an official state website that describes the law of your state. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 This is pretty easy. For service of process in person, the process server must hand the papers to you personally, at a physical address. Then they fill out a special document which is filed with the court where they swear under penalty of law that you were served in accordance with process service law. If process service by mail is allowed (in our jurisdiction it is allowed for certain aspects of divorce but not the initial filing), then, in order to constructively receive the documents and be 'served', one must sign for the documents, generally on an official PO return receipt request, which the PO agent or office retains and sends to the sender as proof of receipt or 'service'. If you got papers in a plain white envelope in the mail, that could be junk mail and there's no way to prove you received them. Judges, in general, don't like that kind of stuff, nor do they look fondly on police officers falsifying legal records. A lawyer will know how to trip this up and hold any responsible party's feet to the fire. Don't talk to anyone before talking to a competent attorney. I mention this because of laws in certain jurisdictions regarding default. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cocoham Posted November 16, 2014 Author Share Posted November 16, 2014 Thank you all so much for the advice! Truly appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
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