LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I always attract the guys-mostly guys that are in their 40's and 50's, they are usually the ones that hit on me. I'm only 32! I'm just appalled by this. I'm not attracted to them and I would never date them. This is just my preference. I'm not being shallow, just like guys have to be attracted to a girl/have preferences, I'm allowed to have preferences too. I would prefer to date a guy my age late mid-20s's, mid 30's, yet those guys aren't interested in me. So, from what I take it as, either I'm not their standard of "hotness" because they want the hot super model girl, like most guys want that are in their 30's. Yet, I attract the old 50 year old guy. Either I need to really work on my appearance to get the hot looking 28 year old guy, instead of looking like an average plain jane. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Sounds like you have already answered your own question. Have you tried online dating? You can selected the age range you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Mangina Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I'm confused. You don't want to date guys in their 40s that's understandable. Then you want a really hot 28 yr old guy? That's a big difference. So are wanting something closer to your age and a that is not ugly or are you going for the superstars? Lisa smith 1970 is that the yr of birth? How can you be 32? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 The more important question is why don't you attract the men you are attracted to. You'll still be attractive to the older guys, but you won't notice/care. Look at women your age who are with men your age. What are they doing that you're not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 IME, most women your age are attractive to men in their 40's and 50's, including married men. Part of life. You'll also get looks from the sixty and seventy-somethings because, yep, they ain't dead yet. As far as dating solutions, if men your age aren't approaching you, strike up conversations with those you find attractive. Whatever happens, happens. Lastly, nothing wrong or unhealthy about looking your best. I learned that tip from my exW, who always made the most of what she had, appearance-wise. She's rarely been without a man in her life and was married three times, and always to men her own age. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 That's funny, I'm involved in that situation, but I'm the men you speak of. LOL Oh the irony!! Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Men are just attracted to attractive women and age doesn't seem to come into it. If you are attracting older rather than younger guys, it could be partly because you seem mature in outlook or dress in a way that resonates with them. But, frankly, younger men tend to be attracted to the the kind of face/body that they see on TV and in the magazines. If the girl dresses in a revealing way, they will be attracted, even if deep down they don't approve. If you are talking about meeting people socially in real life, some guys are bound to find you attractive and maybe older ones feel more confident in approaching a younger, possibly more naive than them, woman. If you wish to attract younger men, then dressing younger, and being kind and fun and approachable might help. Men are more likely to approach if they think they might have a chance, so give them a warm smile or something to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Don't feel like this is happens only to you. It happens to anyone half decent. Guys in their 50's want to go after girls that are younger... and by younger I mean girls in their 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Change your appearance. If younger men are over-looking you, then you are either too plain looking or they assume you're much older and they want a younger woman. Go to the salon, change up the hairstyle, get a new wardrobe or mix it up, add some make up... hang out at places where there are only younger guys in your age range... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Guys in their 50's want to go after girls that are younger... and by younger I mean girls in their 30's. I believe that is the reality. Men just want younger women. Your hot looking 28 year old will be ogling at 19 year olds. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I'm not their standard of "hotness" because they want the hot super model girl....get the hot looking 28 year old guy Soooo... are you a 5 shootin for a 9? Why don't you just try relaxin and seein who you click with. Appearance matters, but it's not everything. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Nope, change your looks, buy trendy sexy clothes, hire a stylist. Sad but true, you attract what you attract. No sense in complaining about it, re-invent yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Soooo... are you a 5 shootin for a 9? Why don't you just try relaxin and seein who you click with. Appearance matters, but it's not everything. Appearance is probably the most important thing, since it's the first thing someone sees from someone whether their attracted to them or not. If they don't like your appearance than you'll be in the friendzone at best. You have to know your own limitations. If you're only a 5 or 6 at best as a man or woman, than you have to be realistic & know it's unlikely you'll get the really hot guy/woman. Like others have said you probably need to change your appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 So, from what I take it as, either I'm not their standard of "hotness" because they want the hot super model girl, like most guys want that are in their 30's. You have poor perception, about yourself and men. As a 35 year old man, I'm not looking for a super model girl. I'm looking for a woman that is attractive to me physically and personality wise. Good luck chasing after your "hot looking 28 year old guy". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 You may seem comfortable around older guys because youre not attracted to them. Then they sense your comfort level and find that attractive. In suort, maybe you are more relaxed around older guys? Im 27, and have been attracting grandpas for years. A lot of older men are bold and have no issue with asking a woman out ( provided she is young enough to be his daughter or granddaughter). Its not necessarily true that you are attracting old men because youre unattractive. I get told im beautiful by men and women. Men my age leave me alone, but im a grandpa magnet. Link to post Share on other sites
slizl Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Odd that you say you are 32 with 1970 in your name *cough*44*cough* Link to post Share on other sites
Adele0908 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I always attract the guys-mostly guys that are in their 40's and 50's, they are usually the ones that hit on me. I'm only 32! I'm just appalled by this. I'm not attracted to them and I would never date them. This is just my preference. I'm not being shallow, just like guys have to be attracted to a girl/have preferences, I'm allowed to have preferences too. I would prefer to date a guy my age late mid-20s's, mid 30's, yet those guys aren't interested in me. So, from what I take it as, either I'm not their standard of "hotness" because they want the hot super model girl, like most guys want that are in their 30's. Yet, I attract the old 50 year old guy. Either I need to really work on my appearance to get the hot looking 28 year old guy, instead of looking like an average plain jane. I once heard this quote from relationship coach Kenya Stevens: "You can't change what you attract by not liking what you attract. You have to start by being tolerant and liking what you attract." In my opinion, it would benefit you to be a bit less judgmental and be more open to the men you are attracting. They may be older than you would like, but they are probably well established, have their stuff together, and more confident and comfortable with women. Or, they might be shallow and just want a younger woman to look good on their arm. Regardless, you attracted them for a reason. Like attracts like. So you may not accept it, but you have something in common with the men you attract. If you gave them a chance, you might learn something about yourself. At the very least, you could allow them to take you out on dates, treat you well, and make you feel good. Who knows, they could end up treating you REALLY well. Some older men are past all the immaturity of youth and just want to make a women feel good. They might even pay some of your bills. Just saying. Oh, and I have the opposite situation. I'm 31 and attract men who are 18 to 30. And still, the grass seems greener on the other side. I definitely wouldn't mind dating a much older man. Also, I agree with Frank2thepoint. You seem more into looks than substance. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Why all the talk saying she must have something in common with them. Ive btdt, and I assure you that is not necessarily the case. Old (er) men just want young women. I dont think we should expect her to want to date men in their 50s. Even 40s is iffy. Shes going to have to deal with their health problems. I also assure everyone that older =/=shyt together. Guys who are hitting on her could also be less shallow and hit on women their own age... Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Odd that you say you are 32 with 1970 in your name *cough*44*cough* I was thinking the same thing. Why use 1970 in her username if she was really born in 1981/1982? Not saying she's lying about actually being 43/44, but her username is just very odd. Link to post Share on other sites
Adele0908 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 The reason I said that she might have something in common with them is because "like attracts like". This is physics/chemistry and it goes from the atom to nations and continents and beyond. So if she is attracting shallow men, maybe she is also shallow in some way. She seems to be more concerned with looks. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing; I also care about looks. But if I care about a man's looks and age, I can't be mad if I attract men who care about a woman's looks and age. Also, a person can have health problems as a child, teen or young adult. In fact, we're all gonna die of something, so to be concerned about another person's POSSIBLE health problems that HAVEN'T happened yet, makes little sense to me. Might as well be concerned about possible car wrecks, drug overdoses, plane crashes, and freak accidents. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Change your appearance. If younger men are over-looking you, then you are either too plain looking or they assume you're much older and they want a younger woman. Go to the salon, change up the hairstyle, get a new wardrobe or mix it up, add some make up... hang out at places where there are only younger guys in your age range... Guys in their early 30s are not looking for super models, except maybe the really hot guys who will have a shot with them. Yes regular guys will rubber neck them when they walk by but at that age they realize their position on the totem pole. What they would love is cute or sexy (basically someone they get a boner over). Just don't be overweight and dress in a stylish/feminine manner and you will tick those boxes for a lot of guys in your age band. You dont have to be really sexy or hot for older guys to appreciate you. Just simply your age and not being overweight will make you a candidate for them. For a 50 yr old guy the plain looking 35 is sexy. I agree with TS's post. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I'm 25. I get hit on maybe twice a year, and it's by men in their 60's and 70's. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) The reason I said that she might have something in common with them is because "like attracts like". This is physics/chemistry and it goes from the atom to nations and continents and beyond. So if she is attracting shallow men, maybe she is also shallow in some way. She seems to be more concerned with looks. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing; I also care about looks. But if I care about a man's looks and age, I can't be mad if I attract men who care about a woman's looks and age. Also, a person can have health problems as a child, teen or young adult. In fact, we're all gonna die of something, so to be concerned about another person's POSSIBLE health problems that HAVEN'T happened yet, makes little sense to me. Might as well be concerned about possible car wrecks, drug overdoses, plane crashes, and freak accidents. Lets not pretend that older people do not generally have more health issues than younger people. Shes a spring chicken in her early 30s. Maybe she doesnt want to deal witb that. Average 50 something has not has a decent workout in years. Im a mover and shaker, I cant deal with that. Ive seen really fit 45 year old men, but thats very exceptional. The human body feels wear and tear after decades, thats not only possible, its a reality for most. Being out of shape at 50 is not a freak incident, its life for many people. Most people care about the other persons looks and age, but old men get a pass. Im young and in shape, but I attract old portly men who think working out is stupid. What do we have in coming? Nada. Sorry to threadjack op, but people need to understand that old men are just horny. It doesnt mean you have "chemistry" with them, that you are unattractive or whatever. Im thinking maybe you are standoffish and not as bubbly as other women. Bold old men feel comfortable approaching. As men get older they read social cues less and less. Plus, you may seem relaxed and confident around them precisely because you are very uninterested in them. Edited November 17, 2014 by hotpotato 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 If you are plain and frumpy looking, perhaps they think you are older. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I am 27 nearly 28 and I attract plenty of younger men. I am not a model or anything either, I guess it is my attitude towards life (I like to just have fun), and the fact I dress young and I also look a tad younger than my real age..... I too would be a little repulsed if older men in their 40's or beyond were the only men who seemed into me To attract younger men.... All I can suggest is: I dress young, fun and sexy. I take pride in my appearance. I am about to relax at the beach and I am wearing a cool Guess designer brand white top that I got in Poland (it is a funky style that you cannot get in Guess stores here) and carrying my designer beach bag... If you want quality men who are younger, you have to be attractive to them - Some young women have no sense of style and look dress like they are much older than their years....Many women dress frumpy and wonder why no decent relatively young men in their 20s or 30s are attracted to them.... Do you look older than your age? Did you smoke/do you smoke? And yeah, women who aren't attractive to men in their 20s and 30s wont get hit on by them. It is about time you get honest with yourself. Alas, plain women can look hot and attractive. I am sort of plain and I make myself look attractive by having long feminine hair, show casing my nice smile as a feature, and wearing flattering clothes! Good luck, think about visiting a stylist, hitting the gym and just generally taking a good look at yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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