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Don't Know How to End It


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I've been legally married for 21 years, we have a 24 year old daughter.

 

I don't want to be married anymore and I don't know how to get him to go. The house we live in is a mother/daughter owned by my mother. We did own a small run down house at one point but couldn't maintain it. We moved in with my mother so I could quit work and go back to school. My father paid for what I didn't qualify for in financial aid. My husband got fired from numerous jobs so I had to be the breadwinner. Eventually he got a janitorial job at a college where he could take classes for free. Of course he never did.

 

 

I'm tired of carrying him. He doesn't know how to pay bills or how much things cost. He's always the happy party guy when we go places because he has me, his "mommy" to take care of him. I want to be single.

 

 

I'm guessing I would have to pay alimony or something similar and share my retirement but at this point I don't even care that much. I just want my freedom. I don't want to be a mother to my partner. How can I make him leave? He doesn't even have anyplace to go. He has no family to turn to. He won't leave. Any ideas or suggestions?

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You don't say where you live and community property laws, which may affect your situation, vary by locale.

 

The short-term answer may be you can't. The long-term solution is the result of a legal process that, feeling as you do, I'm surprised you haven't started. Do you have a lawyer? Filed for divorce? If not, you're just prolonging the agony...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Sorry to say it, but your post makes you seem to be a rather selfish and cold person.

Edited by Satu
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You're not a selfish or cold person. You need to be free. Tell him he's got to get it together or you can't respect him anymore. If he doesn't take immediate action, file for divorce. The property laws are a detail; your life isn't over and you deserve your freedom.

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