Tayken Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 will be a valid reason for you to dump someone either during dating or married? Cheating obviously is the big one, along with abuse (physical and verbal). Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 If there were a big, life altering problem, say drug addiction or financial collapse and he/she will not address or even acknowledge it. I would never leave someone over the problem itself, but if they are unwilling to even discuss it and mutually come up with a way to solve it, I can see that being a situation where you are "drowning" and need to save yourself first and the relationship second. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Every reason is valid. My relationships never finished because of cheating or abuse. We just weren't ultimately compatible. My last ex wanted me to be someone I'm not. With another, we were young and didn't address our issues and the relationship ended up stagnating and dying. Every reaosn is valid if you're not happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 People change over time and sometimes, people who are good for each other at a certain time aren't after a few years... Let's call it loss of connection? Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Besides cheating, abuse, I'll list mine in the context of dating that come to mind (whereby if it became discovered during the dating period, I would not be able to continue dating said person): Illegal drugs.Dependence on controlled substances and/or alcohol that cause significant occupational or social impairment.Addiction to sex and/or pornography.Dependence on money that cause significant occupational or social impairment.Someone who is at different life stages, opposing priorities, etc.Someone I am not physically attracted to (which typically is not the case as I would not continue to date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. I typically lose emotional attraction first). Other matters are open to further exploration taking into consideration the whole picture. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Besides cheating, abuse, what...... will be a valid reason for you to dump someone either during dating or married? Cheating obviously is the big one, along with abuse (physical and verbal). Abandonment, whether physical or emotional. I delineate it from abuse in that abuse is active whereas abandonment is passive, essentially a lack of action, feeling, thought, attention, interest, care, whatever. It's zero. In dating, I'd see this as less of an issue, whereupon the parties simply go their separate ways, either mutually or unilaterally. It's quite different when married and one has made a moral and legal commitment to their spouse, hence why abandonment was once a fault grounds for marital dissolution. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 There have been various threads about dealbreakers before. If I discover one of my dealbreakers that would be an end to dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tayken Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 There have been various threads about dealbreakers before. If I discover one of my dealbreakers that would be an end to dating. Mostly for dating...thanks for coming out though. Every reaosn is valid if you're not happy True.....but the thread title was clear and concise Link to post Share on other sites
Darren2013 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 will be a valid reason for you to dump someone either during dating or married? Cheating obviously is the big one, along with abuse (physical and verbal). No such thing as an invalid reason. Your reasons don't have to make sense to anyone except yourself. We are not owned by anyone. Kind of like how a company doesn't have to give you a reason for firing you when they state in their contract that you can be terminated without cause. That's how relationships should be. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Mostly for dating...thanks for coming out though. True.....but the thread title was clear and concise Yes, and I gave two very good reasons why two of my relationships ended without any cheating or abuse! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tayken Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 No such thing as an invalid reason. Your reasons don't have to make sense to anyone except yourself. We are not owned by anyone. Kind of like how a company doesn't have to give you a reason for firing you when they state in their contract that you can be terminated without cause. That's how relationships should be. Really.....Might I remind you of Genesis 1: 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren2013 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 That doesn't mean that men and women own each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Selfishness, to the degree that my feelings and opinions aren't even being considered or consulted before making decisions that affect us both. I left my first serious adult relationship over that. Someone who habitually engages in spiteful or passive aggressive behavior when there's conflict. Possessiveness or jealousy Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 If someone doesn't tell me they love me, on the 1st and 15th of every month, I'll just leave. Lies. I can't stand liars. I don't care what it is, just respect me enough to be honest about what you're doing, and why. If you want to have an affair - then have it. I really don't care. But don't lie to me and tell me there's no-one else and you'll be there for me and me alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tayken Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 Selfishness' date=' [b']to the degree that my feelings and opinions aren't even being considered or consulted before making decisions that affect us both.[/b] I left my first serious adult relationship over that. Someone who habitually engages in spiteful or passive aggressive behavior when there's conflict. Possessiveness or jealousy Ahahahaha...one of the reasons I ended my marriage. Typical examples ....coming home from work to find your MIL, and be told that she is staying for a week. Additionally, your joint account being used to buy things at xmas for her side of the family. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Irreparably broken trust. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Irreparably broken trust. ...And how would that have happened....? Just curious, not a challenge.... Link to post Share on other sites
ScreaminEagle Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 If she bombards me with Candy Crush invites. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 ...And how would that have happened....? Just curious, not a challenge.... Patterns of broken promises, whatever they are. Could be related to work, health, family, finances, sex.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Not spending any time with me Withholding affection Refusing sex Those are the big three for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Not spending any time with me Well heck man how can they? You've been in your own thread for weeks now! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 drugs or any other addiction, like gambling, drinking, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tayken Posted November 18, 2014 Author Share Posted November 18, 2014 Making a unilateral decision to quit their job / opting not to return to work after mat leave. Decides to get a pet (dog / cat) Link to post Share on other sites
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