Weird or What?

[LadyBug]

Here's the scenario: I met a man, and we have so much in common. We dated a couple of times, and got along well. He was very warm, and affectionate, but quiet somewhat. I found out that he has been married 4 times, and according to him - they all used him and then left him after they got

 

what they wanted from him.

 

The last date we were together, he referred to his exwife as "his sweety." That upset me somewhat, but, he's only been divorced since July. I wasn't able to get all the details about why she left, but, they were only married for 4 months. Why in the world would a wife leave a husband after only 4 months of marriage? Isn't this the honeymoon period?

 

He broke up with me after only 1 month - the day before Valentine's Day too!! He said he was sorry he wasn't a better man, and that I was a good woman, but, he wasn't going to settle for less than what he wanted, and neither should I. What's wrong with this picture? Seems he did settle for less 4 times before.

 

I asked him if this was a rebound relationship, and his answer: time will tell. He pleaded with me to let him go.

 

So, I did. However, I have so many unaswered questions in my mind. Right after breaking up with me, I found him on a chat room site every night for at least 2 hours. He seemed so abrupt with me when we would be on IM, and never talked long. Always said he was tired and had to go. This man lives in the country, and is isolated to a certain extent.

 

He said we were friends, and more - and that he was just hanging out. Whatever this means.

 

I was starting to develop some stronger feelings for him, and he knew that, but, at the same time I kept my heart guarded because I was somewhat leery of a man who has been married 4 times, and he portrayed himself as a victim in each case. I attmepted to get him to talk about some of this, but, he refused, and ignored me. He said we should give this time to cool down. Cool down? It hadn't heated up yet. I asked him to give it a chance, because a month isn't long enough to really get to know someone. He said he didn't want to know any more about me.

 

I'm glad I saw this early on, and saved myself some possible hurt. But, was just wondering if anyone has an opinion about this strange behavior?

[Tony T]

You are extremely lucky to be away from this guy. He has some serious problems you obviously don't know about and he did you a favor by dismissing you from his life.

 

You criticized him for being in the chatroom for two hours each night after he stopped seeing you...but YOU were there too. You need to get away from him.

 

While I know there are some great people on the Internet, the odds of finding quality love in an Internet chatroom are not very good. People lie, make exagerations, etc.

 

You are so much better off meeting people the old fashioned way.

 

You are also much better off not even wasting your time trying to analyze this guy. He is OUT of your life and you should keep him there. He isn't worth another thought.

 

While it is very possible each of his four wives took him for a ride, the fact that he throws all the blame on them and doesn't take any of the responsibility is a sign of problems. Mature men take full responsibility for what happens to them in their lives. You can't be used unless you allow yourself to be.

 

Go out and have a big celebration that you are away from this guy and don't even give him another thought after that.

[LadyBug]

Tony, thank you for validating what I already knew. But, I do have to make one correction - I wasn't in the chat room. I only checked to see if he was there - I didn't join any of them. The particular chat he uses just shows who's in them - and that's it. I didn't meet him thru that media. But, once again, thank you for validating my thoughts.

You are extremely lucky to be away from this guy. He has some serious problems you obviously don't know about and he did you a favor by dismissing you from his life. You criticized him for being in the chatroom for two hours each night after he stopped seeing you...but YOU were there too. You need to get away from him. While I know there are some great people on the Internet, the odds of finding quality love in an Internet chatroom are not very good. People lie, make exagerations, etc. You are so much better off meeting people the old fashioned way. You are also much better off not even wasting your time trying to analyze this guy. He is OUT of your life and you should keep him there. He isn't worth another thought. While it is very possible each of his four wives took him for a ride, the fact that he throws all the blame on them and doesn't take any of the responsibility is a sign of problems. Mature men take full responsibility for what happens to them in their lives. You can't be used unless you allow yourself to be. Go out and have a big celebration that you are away from this guy and don't even give him another thought after that.