Password on husband's login, yet he looks under my login, am I being stupid?

[hunter42345]

I noticed while my husband was on the computer the other night that he has put a password on his login. This can only lead me to believe that he is doing something on the internet that he does not want me to know about, what this is I have no idea. I trust him, I don't think that he would cheat on me or anything like that, even though I did find out the other day that he had lied to me (something that I would have never imagined him doing). But the only reason that he would put a password on his login in that I can think of would be if he was doing something that he did not want me to find out about. I think that everyone has their right to privacy, and I don't try to intrude on his privacy. To make things worse, I noticed today that he has been getting in under my login and looking at what I have been doing on the internet. I have nothing to hide from him, I really don't care if he sees what I look at on the internet. But it does irritate me that he puts a password on his login, yet he invades my privacy and looks under my login. That makes no sense to me. That is so hypocritical, correct me if I am wrong.

 

I love my husband to death, and I would have never dreamed that this would be an issue in our relationship. I feel like I can be open and honest to him, and I thought that he felt the same way. Obviously I was wrong. I feel bad about posting this on here instead of saying something to him about it, but anytime that I say something to him about things that he does making me feel uncomfortable, he just gets quiet and won't talk to me, and then he gets mad at me and says he doesn't know whether or not we will make it work out. That really hurts my feelings. I trust my husband and I would have never dreamed that he would be this way. He just does not seem like the type of person that would do things like this. I just want to know if I am being stupid about feeling this way, before I say anything to him about it.

[tanbark813]

I don't think you're being stupid about feeling that way. It's been my experience that people who get defensive and secretive about things usually have reason to.

[kellybelle]

Maybe you could say, gee I would be so much more comfortable, and less questioning if you only gave me your password....

 

If not, hack his @ss.

[RecordProducer]

You're not stupid at all. I see one huge problem here:

"Anytime that I say something to him about things that he does making me feel uncomfortable, he just gets quiet and won't talk to me, and then he gets mad at me and says he doesn't know whether or not we will make it work out. That really hurts my feelings."

He refuses to communicate about the things that bother you and that's very selfish. In other words, he wants to do whatever he feels like doing and not be criticized about it. If he knows in advance that he will be then he lies or hides things. He even had the courage to slam the door of his privacy in front of your nose. He figured that he would rather listen to you nagging about the password than about what's going on behind it.

It could be anything, from innocent porn sites to emails exchanged with another woman. But most likely it's not secrets he shares with CIA. In theory it could be some nice surprise he's preparing for you.

Given his personality, the only thing you can do is demand that he gives you the password. If the police can do that then you can do it to your husband. To the hell with the moral values if they allow people to hide behind them and cheat.

But don't be upset before you find out what's going on. Don't do that to yourself, because you really don't know what it's all about. You can tell him that whatever it is you will understand.

I have a hunch that it's some porn material...which is not the end of the world. All guys I know watch porn regardless of whether they are married or not.

 

Kellybelle, you're a riot! :-)

[kellybelle]

Thanks!