I seriously don't understand my life

[wayji]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/472813-getting-over-someone-who-used-you

 

This is a thread that explains a really bad experience with copying with a breakup I had no idea was coming. It was only a month, but I lost my best friend and couldn't believe that someone who I cared about so much could toss me aside like I was nothing. From that day, I have been emotionally broken down and not the same person I used to be. I have slaved for years, racking up volunteer and internship experience just to earn a coveted position at a big magazine in new york while juggling the same job (where he also works) and nineteen credits. I have a 3.7 GPA and applying to graduate schools but I'm still not proud of anything I've done no matter how much I try to convince myself to calm down and not feel constantly depressed and anxious. I have days where i love my body and how I look but I'm still constantly picking myself apart trying to figure out why I wasn't good enough for him and hoping that someday I could be. I know that I should be happy by myself but it's so hard to do that when I'm at a place where I have so much love to give to someone like he used to be. I've tried to talk to him in private and I know he is distracted and uninterested in me but I've lost dignity telling him that I still care about him even if he never cares about me.

Throughout all this, I find myself hating to wake up and completely not sure of why I feel so empty and anxious all the time. I'm working on myself and trying to accomplish my goals but i'm so good at multitasking (i guess) that I still find myself missing him in the process. I want my future to be about learning and helping people and building great projects but I can't shake off the feeling of nothing I always have. I can't bear to be in the same room with him but I can't give up our mutual job because of the great mentors available there as well. No matter how much I do, I don't feel proud of myself. I have every hour of my life planned to be used for something (homework, studying, exercise) because I was supposed to keep myself busy after the breakup but I can't stop feeling anxious all the time….

[welyam]

i feel you im sorry to hear all your struggles right now

 

keeping busy after a hard loss is a good start to continue your life. But keep in mind that you must at least give yourself a time to catch up around you. I know how it hard to question yourself or doubting yourself, i've been there. but the pain will not sail away if you continue venting all the frustration to yourself. I mean, c'mon, what done is done, learning to move on is not an easy task, but you need to read another chapter of your life.being selfish is not bad sometimes, it is the way how you build confidence.

[Augustus64]

I can Identify with what you feel about not being proud of yourself despite accomplishments, I've been there. I was one of the best players in the history of my university and graduated with a good business degree and yet I still felt like i fell short. Don't let your mind sabotage you, you are not your mind; control it by being the observer of your thoughts, it takes the power away from them. You'll shake this off i promise you, but it always sucks when you're going through it.

[Thegreatestthing]

Any sort of rejection will leave you feeling worthless,make you question yourself fir a few days,we've all been rejected.he's one guy his opinion of you no longer matters, for every one guy that suddenly walks off,there are ten new guys who will you find you interesting and beautiful.lost dignity is the real issue as you said.

 

It's good your focusing on your career and not lamenting too much on him,

You should have greater respect for yourself you're not an automon you're a human being,you feel anxious all the time because you're doing way too much,the Chinese have a proverb "people in the west are always getting ready to live" there's nothing really wrong with that, you are working toward something you desperately want, but I think you really need to go sit under a tree or something,ease up a bit so that your nerves aren't tattered and so that you can review what you have done with some sort of fresh perspective.