Going out with women to write them off

[Lernaean_Hydra]

If you are referring to my ex girlfriend the one I couldn't keep an erection with then yeah I was frustrated like I was being punished somehow. Not being able to orgasam with a woman or stay hard is my punishment. I never was able to orgasm in any past relationship. Then with the last one it got worse to where I couldn't stay hard long enough to get the condom on and get in her.

 

So I am totally cursed and screwed. Maybe I committed a terrible sex crime in a past incarnation and so this is my punishment to only be confined to masturbation and porn as the only way to get off.

 

 

Do you even like women - sexually I mean, because I think we all know you don't like them personally but that's beside the point - ? I mean, you can't orgasm, you can't maintain an erection with them and have no desire to be with them. Are you sure you're not just a latent homosexual?

 

Seriously, why are you out to punish women because you can't get them off (or get off with them)? It's not our fault you're terrible in bed! I don't get it.

[Darren2013]

Do you even like women - sexually I mean, because I think we all know you don't like them personally but that's beside the point - ? I mean, you can't orgasm, you can't maintain an erection with them and have no desire to be with them. Are you sure you're not just a latent homosexual?

 

Seriously, why are you out to punish women because you can't get them off (or get off with them)? It's not our fault you're terrible in bed! I don't get it.

 

I said I have trouble getting off. I didn't say I had trouble getting them off. I am the one who gets friend-zoned for my sexual dysfunction. I am not miserable by choice.

[Darren2013]

No, he "should" be thinking about his crush cuz I'm still perplexed as to where this desire to "write off" women comes from when he has a woman who's been nice to him and has made several efforts to get close to him....

 

But, he rather write off his crush and go on this mission to hurt unsuspecting women - while he hails some "ex" of his as the best thing that ever happened to him (despite his posts about her "high maintenance", cheating, etc.)

 

Why won't you focus your anger and hate on someone that might deserve it? Like that ex you keep on talking about?

 

Look, some people think they can't do better than certain things. Again, if you feel that your ex was "it" and it was all your fault it went wrong, please, please go back to her now. If you want I'll even help you do it. I will even go and buy you a ring so you can get on one knee and propose to her. That way, you'll be busy with all the drama with her and we can spare the single women out there from your scourge.

 

 

For the last time I don't want my ex back and I don't want to be with my crush either. You are missing my point completely.

[ASG]

I said I have trouble getting off. I didn't say I had trouble getting them off. I am the one who gets friend-zoned for my sexual dysfunction. I am not miserable by choice.

 

And have you thought about seeking help for that issue? It's a medical issue (either physical or psychological) and there are ways to over come those issues. Have you tried that route?

 

It is still not OUR fault, as women, that you have problems getting off or even keeping it up... It is YOUR problem...

[rester]

I said I have trouble getting off. I didn't say I had trouble getting them off. I am the one who gets friend-zoned for my sexual dysfunction. I am not miserable by choice.

 

How much porn do you watch? It's been known to be a source for these sorts of problems.

[ASG]

For the last time I don't want my ex back and I don't want to be with my crush either. You are missing my point completely.

 

What is the point, then? Please do enlighten us. Because quite frankly, I'm very confused about what your end game is here...

[Darren2013]

And have you thought about seeking help for that issue? It's a medical issue (either physical or psychological) and there are ways to over come those issues. Have you tried that route?

 

It is still not OUR fault, as women, that you have problems getting off or even keeping it up... It is YOUR problem...

 

It is her problem if she doesn't seem to be all that concerned about making sure I am fulfilled.

[Darren2013]

What is the point, then? Please do enlighten us. Because quite frankly, I'm very confused about what your end game is here...

 

My end game is not to stay in the friend-zone and be used as some emotional counselor to get advice from. How offensive it is for a woman to ask me if she can pick my brain for awhile.

[OwMyEyeball]

I said I have trouble getting off. I didn't say I had trouble getting them off. I am the one who gets friend-zoned for my sexual dysfunction.I am not miserable by choice.

Yes you are.

 

You just haven't figured yourself out to understand which choices are leading you down the path of misery.

 

The more you lay the source of your emotional suffering at the feet of others the further you'll get from realizing that, ultimately, it all stems from within.

 

Darren, either you're pulling off one heck of an extended parody or you have some deeply unresolved psychological issues that require the kind of guidance you're not going to find here; especially while you continue to antagonize others while you descend into madness.

[Gloria25]

What is the point, then? Please do enlighten us. Because quite frankly, I'm very confused about what your end game is here...

 

And have you thought about seeking help for that issue? It's a medical issue (either physical or psychological) and there are ways to over come those issues. Have you tried that route?

 

It is still not OUR fault, as women, that you have problems getting off or even keeping it up... It is YOUR problem...

 

Exactly, what is your endgame here? To vent?

 

We're really trying to give you the best advice we can. I think the people here on LS really want good for you.

 

There "are" sexual therapists out there. They don't just teach people how to do different positions - they have experience helping people who are disabled, have psychological issues, etc. to have better sex and intimacy.

 

I know opening up to a therapist can be uncomfy, but find one that you feel comfy with. I've dropped therapists over the years cuz I didn't feel comfy talking to them.

 

Also, maybe you can get an escort, do Craigslist and/or do casual RLs. Cuz, we don't get better at something unless we practice it. At least with an escort or a casual situation you will be in a situation where you aren't worried about impressing the woman - so you can develop your skills in the bedroom.

 

But seriously, if you are thinking of hurting others maybe its time to really get some help for this. I watch too much Investigation Discovery/ID and there are a lot of people who do bad things cuz of sexual repression/issues.

[Taramere]

I think my goal for the rest of my short life is to see how many women I can write off. See how many women I can decline sexual offers from. See how many women I can decline a relationship from. And I can decline politely by saying "I'm happy to just be friends" and then going into strict NC mode after that.

 

It's hard to imagine women queuing up to proposition such an odd fish.

[Darren2013]

And as far as the crush goes I have come to terms with the fact that nothing will come of it. I went through a grief process over her the last 3 months and I think I am just now heading into the acceptance stage. Mostly because the kind of relationship I want is something long distance so obviously she and I would not be compatible for that reason if nothing else.

 

The long distance relationship gives me an excuse not to see my girlfriend everyday or every week. So I am not angry about the crush situation. That part I have come to acceptance stage.

[Gloria25]

My end game is not to stay in the friend-zone and be used as some emotional counselor to get advice from. How offensive it is for a woman to ask me if she can pick my brain for awhile.

 

Then, how does this ^^ relate to you turning down your crush? I don't get it.

 

Besides, how does writing off women help you not be friend zoned?

 

You said you don't want to be used ad an "emotional counselor". Well, you told that person to stop expecting that from you. **clap, clap** You did it!!! You stood up for yourself!!!

 

That's life, that's dating. We have to set boundaries with people. My dogs, mom, people at work, neighbors, etc. all "test" me every day. I have to draw the line. I can't sit around and fester anger about my mom farting in the car if I don't open my mouth and set the boundary that it's unacceptable or she needs to let me know she's gasy so I can spray some air freshner.

 

So, when a woman comes to you in the wrong way, you set your boundary. If she continues with the same behavior and/or tries other crap, you move on. But to embark on some mission cuz you've been treated bad by one or two women is gonna get you what?

[ASG]

It is her problem if she doesn't seem to be all that concerned about making sure I am fulfilled.

 

Not if the issue is with you! I mean... I'm good, but if a guy can't get it up... there really isn't much that I can do, now is there?

 

My end game is not to stay in the friend-zone and be used as some emotional counselor to get advice from. How offensive it is for a woman to ask me if she can pick my brain for awhile.

 

How offensive?!? Not at all! It is actually quite flattering that people go to you for advice. I always feel flattered when my friends or acquaintances ask me for my opinion on things and input on problems/doubts they might be having.

 

Considering it OFFENSIVE really says more about YOU than it does about the women...

 

But ok, that's your endgame... how do you achieve your endgame with what you said on the OP of this thread?

[Gloria25]

And as far as the crush goes I have come to terms with the fact that nothing will come of it. I went through a grief process over her the last 3 months and I think I am just now heading into the acceptance stage. Mostly because the kind of relationship I want is something long distance so obviously she and I would not be compatible for that reason if nothing else.

 

The long distance relationship gives me an excuse not to see my girlfriend everyday or every week. So I am not angry about the crush situation. That part I have come to acceptance stage.

 

You don't have to be in a LDR to seek what you're looking for. Lot's of FWB situations out there.

 

But, I'm perplexed as to you reached the conclusion that your crush didn't want the same - when you turned down each and every opportunity to talk to/engage her outside of the work environment.

[Divasu]

You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say OP's posts are kind of well... genius.

[WhatIsLove2014]

OK, I have a question....

Are you looking for a long term relationship?

 

If so, how do you think you will get one?

 

If you aren't looking for one, then what's the point of hurting women who have done nothing to you? You aren't getting revenge on women who hurt you...you are trying to hurt women just because you have been hurt by few women. What's the point?

 

You don't want to date someone who likes you. If someone shows you interest, you are out of there. So how do you think you will find a woman for you? A women who shows no interest in you, will not date you. So unfortunately, you will be single. But if you want to be single that's fine but actively trying to hurt someone who has done absolutely nothing to you, you are sick and you need help.

 

There is no excuse. I thought you were an idiot for your thinking but this act of going out with a woman who likes you just so you can reject them makes you beyond an a*hole

[OwMyEyeball]

You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say OP's posts are kind of well... genius.

Do explain where you're coming from with that statement!

 

Sometimes I get the sense that what I'm witnessing is the work of a satirist, but in this case I'm having trouble connecting the dots.

[Divasu]

Do explain where you're coming from with that statement!

 

Sometimes I get the sense that what I'm witnessing is the work of a satirist, but in this case I'm having trouble connecting the dots.

 

I'm not sure yet exactly. But my spidey senses are going off.

 

I'm thinking Creative Genius or Psychoses.

 

That or I've been watching to much ID like Gloria.

[OwMyEyeball]

I'm not sure yet exactly. But my spidey senses are going off.

 

I'm thinking Creative Genius or Psychoses.

 

That or I've been watching to much ID like Gloria.

Creative genius and psychosis aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

 

I'd say that in order for someone to be creative they also need to be a little crazy

 

I can relate to the OP's emotional reactions in the scenarios he outlines. All of them. They're all just very ... human ways of reacting. The key difference is how wildly out of proportion each reaction is.

[Gloria25]

I'm not sure yet exactly. But my spidey senses are going off.

 

I'm thinking Creative Genius or Psychoses.

 

That or I've been watching to much ID like Gloria.

 

Well, I can see where the anger comes from...cuz, I had a bad dad and miserable childhood. I turned into an angry "manhater"

 

While I curbed my "man hatin'" ways, I still have trouble getting close to guys and I'm going on 40.

 

Now, but I've never went out to break anybody's hearts and/or hurt them. Quite frankly, despite my "man hatin'", I've "given" more in my RLs than the guys did. No man that's crossed my paths can say that he wasn't treated right.

 

That's one reason I don't have kids - whatever crazy is going through my head, I'm not brining innocent parties into the dance. Same I do with men...I don't go around hurting/lying/etc to guys - especially to take out some revenge I have for jerks like my dad.

 

I just suffer...I take the pain by living in solitude and/or seeking out limited contacts with men.

[Divasu]

Well, I can see where the anger comes from...cuz, I had a bad dad and miserable childhood. I turned into an angry "manhater"

 

While I curbed my "man hatin'" ways, I still have trouble getting close to guys and I'm going on 40.

 

Now, but I've never went out to break anybody's hearts and/or hurt them. Quite frankly, despite my "man hatin'", I've "given" more in my RLs than the guys did. No man that's crossed my paths can say that he wasn't treated right.

 

That's one reason I don't have kids - whatever crazy is going through my head, I'm not brining innocent parties into the dance. Same I do with men...I don't go around hurting/lying/etc to guys - especially to take out some revenge I have for jerks like my dad.

 

I just suffer...I take the pain by living in solitude and/or seeking out limited contacts with men.

 

Don't worry, me too:love:.

[Gloria25]

Don't worry, me too:love:.

 

But, I bet you don't have a "fortress of solitude" like mines....lol

 

[Divasu]

But, I bet you don't have a "fortress of solitude" like mines....lol

 

 

Well that I don't know about. I do have a good foundation of friends (both male and female), family, and activities .

[Gloria25]

Don't worry, me too:love:.

 

But, I bet you don't have a "fortress of solitude" like mines....lol

 

 

But seriously, I've had times I thought I would "fake" a marriage and/or have kids. So, I could "at least" get some level of continuous contact with a guy - but I can't just do that to a kid. Also, I fear my stoic personality, silence, going out and doing stuff on my own, unwillingness to share/commingle finances/assets would tear apart any marriage I try to do. I can't marry someone on false pretenses.