Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well that I don't know about. I do have a good foundation of friends (both male and female), family, and activities . But you know, that's good. I think people who come from a good support system are less likely just to date "anyone". Cuz, they have enough going on in their life where they don't need another man/woman to fill some "void" in their lives. I just stay busy with work, family, trying to stay active and/or volunteering....I mean, you gotta do something besides stay in the "fortress" with my endless supply of pets (like the crazy cat lady)... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Then, how does this ^^ relate to you turning down your crush? I don't get it. Besides, how does writing off women help you not be friend zoned? You said you don't want to be used ad an "emotional counselor". Well, you told that person to stop expecting that from you. **clap, clap** You did it!!! You stood up for yourself!!! That's life, that's dating. We have to set boundaries with people. My dogs, mom, people at work, neighbors, etc. all "test" me every day. I have to draw the line. I can't sit around and fester anger about my mom farting in the car if I don't open my mouth and set the boundary that it's unacceptable or she needs to let me know she's gasy so I can spray some air freshner. So, when a woman comes to you in the wrong way, you set your boundary. If she continues with the same behavior and/or tries other crap, you move on. But to embark on some mission cuz you've been treated bad by one or two women is gonna get you what? Yeah I stood up too late. It took me 3 months to put my foot down. That's 90 days that will never come back. I could have used that time and devoted more energy to finding other women. Instead she gave me mixed signals of interest only because she thought I was somebody else and even after sending a photo of myself she would try to invite me to talk on the phone or ask me hypothetical scenarios about us having sex together. This whole time I was developing feelings for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) Yeah I stood up too late. It took me 3 months to put my foot down. That's 90 days that will never come back. I could have used that time and devoted more energy to finding other women. Instead she gave me mixed signals of interest only because she thought I was somebody else and even after sending a photo of myself she would try to invite me to talk on the phone or ask me hypothetical scenarios about us having sex together. This whole time I was developing feelings for her. Excuse me? No one was sending you mixed signals. She thought you were someone else. She wouldn't have talked to you like that and/or invite you to talk on the phone/Skype/Messenger/FaceTime etc if she didn't think you were someone else. She already discussed that with you. She also apologized to you. AND, the whole time - to this date - she has and continues to encourage you to continue talking and getting closer to your crush (because she wasn't sure if you were someone else). So, where are you getting all this from? Also - not that she cares, but it begs mentioning - if you were interested in her, you would have asked for her picture and/or accepted a Skype/FaceTime/Messenger invitation. That's what also led her to believe you were someone else. Cuz, how could someone not ask a picture of someone if they didn't know who they were talking to already? Also, per Catfish, a Catfish will refuse to speak to you over phone and/or via Skype/FaceTime/Messenger cuz they probably stole those pics from someone else's profile and don't want you to see who they really are. Edited November 19, 2014 by Gloria25 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Excuse me? No one was sending you mixed signals. She thought you were someone else. She wouldn't have talked to you like that and/or invite you to talk on the phone/Skype/Messenger/FaceTime etc if she didn't think you were someone else. She already discussed that with you. She also apologized to you. AND, the whole time - to this date - she has and continues to encourage you to continue talking and getting closer to your crush (because she wasn't sure if you were someone else). So, where are you getting all this from? Also - not that she cares, but it begs mentioning - if you were interested in her, you would have asked for her picture and/or accepted a Skype/FaceTime/Messenger invitation. That's what also led her to believe you were someone else. Cuz, how could someone not ask a picture of someone if they didn't know who they were talking to already? Also, per Catfish, a Catfish will refuse to speak to you over phone and/or via Skype/FaceTime/Messenger cuz they probably stole those pics from someone else's profile and don't want you to see who they really are. I'm not interested in my crush anymore. My interests have shifted to other women but more so one person. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I had a bad dad and miserable childhood. I turned into an angry "manhater" I know some people do, and am not denying that fact. However, some people develop this based on "mommy's side of the story"...happens a lot because mommy didn't give dad a chance to be part of his kid(s) lives Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I'm not interested in my crush anymore. My interests have shifted to other women but more so one person. Well, that's good... Hopefully you can take the tools we gave you here and something good will come from your interactions with this "one person". But, I'm hoping this "one person" is not the person you believe was sending mixed signals to you. Again, she thought you were someone else and even told you she was concerned about how much she still has attraction/interest for that crush of hers. While you're over your crush, I've resolved to just wait till next year to get my confirmation that my crush isn't interested me in the least. By then I'll have no doubt that I have to let it go. In the meantime, I'll be takin' chill pills and being friendly - but not over the top. Like today. I see him in passing, I'll be friendly, smile to myself, but not jumping through hoops to get in his face. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I see him in passing, I'll be friendly, smile to myself, but not jumping through hoops to get in his face. Sounds like teenage lovestruck...HS all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Sounds like teenage lovestruck...HS all over again. Lol...I was never "love struck" in high school. I don't know, when I have a positive interaction with him I do get giddy and nervous - like a little kid. I can't remember "if"/"when" I would act like that...I think that's a good thing that someone can give me butterflies. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Lol...I was never "love struck" in high school. I don't know, when I have a positive interaction with him I do get giddy and nervous - like a little kid. I can't remember "if"/"when" I would act like that...I think that's a good thing that someone can give me butterflies. I am sure he will be more than happy to take care of business and then run Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 But you know, that's good. I think people who come from a good support system are less likely just to date "anyone". Cuz, they have enough going on in their life where they don't need another man/woman to fill some "void" in their lives. I just stay busy with work, family, trying to stay active and/or volunteering....I mean, you gotta do something besides stay in the "fortress" with my endless supply of pets (like the crazy cat lady)... Ya! My family may be a little nutty (I can be too) and what I do know is, we all genuinely love and care about each other very much. And my father went from being absent, to being present and we have a comforting and solid relationship now which makes all the difference. Live life to the fullest, that's the best you can do. Yeah I stood up too late. It took me 3 months to put my foot down. That's 90 days that will never come back. I could have used that time and devoted more energy to finding other women. Instead she gave me mixed signals of interest only because she thought I was somebody else and even after sending a photo of myself she would try to invite me to talk on the phone or ask me hypothetical scenarios about us having sex together. This whole time I was developing feelings for her. I can't say I am not totally confused by your posts/I haven't any insight into these "relationships", your posts seem to bounce from one subject to the next and I don't have the energy to follow them. Next time if you believe you are developing feelings towards someone, say something. Or, leave. We can't always be so quick to assume the person we are dating has automatic insight into our own thought process. Or that we have automatic insight into theirs. Neither side does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I am sure he will be more than happy to take care of business and then run Well, I have no doubt he thinks about "taking care of business" with me...but, it's not as simple. He's got other things going on that doesn't make him available. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Well, I have no doubt he thinks about "taking care of business" with me...but, it's not as simple. He's got other things going on that doesn't make him available. Ah....so you are hoping that he will choose you over the "other things"? Don't go be wrecking any homes now Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I think my goal for the rest of my short life is to see how many women I can write off. See how many women I can decline sexual offers from. See how many women I can decline a relationship from. And I can decline politely by saying "I'm happy to just be friends" and then going into strict NC mode after that. Getting laid is not the main goal. The main goal is to win at the game of who is going to write off who first. You ever know anyone like that? This is really sad. If you're that sick, why do you want to live out your final months in bitterness? I could understand some bitterness regarding being so ill, but why punish women for it - women who haven't done anything to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 This is really sad. If you're that sick, why do you want to live out your final months in bitterness? I could understand some bitterness regarding being so ill, but why punish women for it - women who haven't done anything to you? Tell that to the myriad of women on OLD that enjoy getting messages in their inbox and string men along to boost their ego....as you put it, "men that haven't done anything to them" Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Tell that to the myriad of women on OLD that enjoy getting messages in their inbox and string men along to boost their ego....as you put it, "men that haven't done anything to them" Well, I will ignore your bitterness here, because I was coming back to add that it seems to be a way to punish himself, as well. He could be kind, and at least have a nice time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I think that is a really cruel thing to do ......to hurt someone because you have been hurt instead of having compassion and understanding of what it feels like to get hurt and with careful wisdom through experience you have gained go about ensuring, no one you know would suffer the same with in regards to you......that to me sounds like what any average loving human being would do..... for the most part in regards to love guys who have hurt me apologise in the long run......i dont judge other guys on their short comings and or lack of thoughtfulness......i dotn hodl grudges......neither should you...everyone gets hurt...doesnt mean you set out to hurt people......protect defend yourself and others yes.....not hurt destroy belittle or make others have heart break on purpose...........deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Well, I will ignore your bitterness here, because I was coming back to add that it seems to be a way to punish himself, as well. He could be kind, and at least have a nice time. Ah...you were coming back? Got it Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Tell that to the myriad of women on OLD that enjoy getting messages in their inbox and string men along to boost their ego....as you put it, "men that haven't done anything to them" you arent talking to that type of women though tayken in this thread..there are good and bad people everywhere doesnt mean you have to be a bad person....and anela is a compassionate soul.......and there should be no reason why she should have to tell anyone anything or feel responisble for thoughtless women....or men for that matter....we arent responsible for others behaviors that are bad only our own...as are you....as is op......cheers....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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