guest Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 This is going to be a long post..... My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half now and things have changed sooo much. I just dont know what to do. I am so depressed, I cant even get out of bed to go to class... I am seeking a psychologist for myself (depression, self-esteem, etc). When my husband and I first got married, it was great. We would lay in bed and talk for hours upon hours. I had a job at first but lost it about a month after we wed. I have had a few jobs since them (we have moved state 3 times already). Right now I am not working but looking for a job. My husband bitches about me not having a job all the time. Well not so much as bitches but lays a guilt trip on me almost every day. He says he has worked more then I have in the relationship but its about equal with me bringing in more money. I am not the only one that has noticed this but my husband lies all the time, about little things. There is no reason for him to lie. It could be about a job he had years ago or about which route he took coming home, little things. He has also gotten so into porn a lot lately. Last night he spent over 8 hours on the internet looking at porn. When we first got married, we would watch porn together about 1-2 times a month and now he will spend hours on it. When I saw it all on the history on my computer I asked him about it and now he is deleting the history. The first night we got our cable (Just moved to a new state) last week, he charged over $60 on porn. And the really bad part is we arent even intiment except for maybe, MAYBE 4 times a month. One of my good friends told me that while I was in basic training for the Navy thats all my husband did, watched porn. When I saw the cable bill and confronted him he swore he would stop with the porn but now he spend all his time on the computer looking a porn. He is always talking to other girls on the internet even though we have gotten into so many arguements over it and he swears he is stopping it. We just moved here from Texas and we had some goods friends there that told me that my husband said he was going to leave me a letter, a Dear John letter. He was planning on leaving me, so my friends say. I have asked him about it and he got on the defensive. Every time I try to have a constructive conversation on any of these topics he gets on the defensive and we have a blow up arguement. All this has gotten so bad that I am so depressed. I dont believe in divorce but it seems that this is where our relationship is heading. Please help me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Crystalbaby Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Hello, sorry about your situation. I really dont know much about the situation your in. I am married myself and have had many problems but none like yours. I am thinking that since your friend told you that he maybe thinking about leaving you, then maybe it would be smart to make sure you have things ready to go out on your own. Maybe set aside a bank account that he doesnt know about and that way if he does leave you and you wont be standed. Maybe you could ask him about seeing a counselor?? I dont know. I am sorry if I am not any help. Sorry about the situation you are in. God bless you. ---- Crystal Link to post Share on other sites
suegail Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Gosh, I'm really sorry you're having such hard times. I have read that pornography can be as addictive as any narcotic, and I would say he just really needs to stop what he's doing and get some serious counseling. Dump the cable - get off the internet if you have to. I doubt you can effectively block porn sites online, so as I said, disconnect if you have to. I guess you'll have to give him the option, let it be his choice, but do tell him if he wants you in his life he has to get over this addiction and most addicts can't live 24 hours with that kind of temptation in their life. They can't be around it if they hope to recover. Personally, I would recommend Christian counseling, but I don't know what your faith is. I believe God can heal and restore marriages and bring us out of places of darkness. I sure hope things work out for you and your husband... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts