babygirl27 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Hi everyone! There’s a guy I like who I’ve been keen on for about 2 months. He’s also been keen on me and it’s VERY obvious. Two weekends ago we both attended a work function (we have the same job, just work in different cities... about 1 hour apart) and I got his number finally because we needed to coordinate some things that day. Anyway, all week last week he sent me flirty texts and it was dead obvious that he was into me. He kept asking when I was going to go up and see him, told me he was counting the minutes till I got there, and all that. So I went up this weekend with some of our friends, as we have a mutual friend group, and things seemed like they were escalating quite nicely. Nothing happened until I was giving him a drive back to his apartment on Sunday and as we said goodbye he leaned over to kiss me. I was stunned and pulled my neck back a bit (subtly) as it was kind of unexpected and he quickly pulled back as well and said “kidding” and left my car quite embarrassed. I was shocked that it happened so quickly but I felt decent about it because I was like alright this guy definitely likes me. Fast forward to that night and I sent him a message like: “Ya, I like you, I wanted to kiss you but you’re intimidating this and that" etc. etc. and he tells me that he doesn’t think it’s wise to get involved. After some other tension-filled exchanges, I told him that I liked him and it is what it is. He read them and never responded. I think it’s super weird. He was laying it on thick all weekend saying things like: your beauty intimidates me etc. and he even bought me a small pack of chocolate to be sweet. I don’t want to be aggressive in the fear of looking psychotic, but I also don’t want to be too passive because I believe that I should be owed an explanation. I really like this guy and I can tell he likes me ... but what gives? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 He feels rejected & is trying to save face. Link to post Share on other sites
RockyCruz Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) . but what gives? The guy is flirting with you, sending you red hot signals, even kissed you. He said, he's kidding but that's a precaution to protect himself due to....your reaction which he read in wrong way. Remember, you kind of pulled back, you didn't wrap your arms around him, moved in to kiss more, you gave an expression on your face. So, his subconscious survival system, which starts as children, where a smiley face is a friend, where a stunned kind of expression means we did something wrong - and he read that signal wrong! Sometimes, we have to brave whether rejection happens or not. It's how we don't miss opportunities in life. Sometimes, you got to be direct and find out because it looks like this guy is nervous, scared to be rejected, and reacted in that way because he thought he got rejected. He's scared he might lose you. Or he's a player. Whatever the reason be direct. Be the stronger one. You will never find out either way until you are direct with him. Edited November 19, 2014 by RockyCruz Link to post Share on other sites
carly75 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I think when he wants to kiss you, but you pull your neck and he got embarrassed is the thing that's stopping his feeling for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirl27 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 I really like this guy... does anyone have advice for what I should do next? The last text I sent him was nice and light and I told him I just liked him, and it is what it is. He did not respond. Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I really like this guy... does anyone have advice for what I should do next? The last text I sent him was nice and light and I told him I just liked him, and it is what it is. He did not respond. You both like each other & It seems he read the message wrong when you pulled away a little and you read his response wrong. Either way he went into protection mode and this is a push pull scenario since I can tell he's going NC. It's bothering you. You want to do something and it seems he wants you to as well. Kind of a chase/power swap scenario. Easy fix. Soooo.....Shut up and kiss him. Set up a quick date like getting coffee. Ask him to walk you to your car. Then just kiss him, do it sweetly though, make up for the lost chance from before. Since you were the one who stopped it last time it is kind of on you to open the door again. Just a small soft kiss and pull away slightly again, look him in the eye and smile, allow him the chance to move in again and if he takes it then good. Start building after that. Don't let mutual attraction go to waste over something silly. My $0.02 anyways, and if I was in his spot it would be what I'd like to see happen. Link to post Share on other sites
RockyCruz Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I really like this guy... does anyone have advice for what I should do next? The last text I sent him was nice and light and I told him I just liked him, and it is what it is. He did not respond. Forget texting him how you like him. It means nothing. Be decisive. Pick up, call him and set a date to meet. Then when you do, know what you want, without worrying what the guy might think and kiss him, and say... "I'm not kidding." Or you're going to go round in circles and send yourself crazy. You'll never know. Link to post Share on other sites
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