BlankSpace Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 I went NC 3 weeks ago, but she calls me everyday, just checking what I was doing. Those made me weak. She wants me to be her best friend, I just can't... not now. 5 days ago, I completely ignored her calls, and IMs. Later she txt me, and was pissed, because she needed to ask something important. Today, she IM me about the thing, and I was like sorry, and lied to her, I don't bring that number anymore. That's so lame . I love her so much, she dumped me for falling out of love as the reason. I just can't bear the pain. So I told her that we can't be friends right now, because the things weren't the same, but she just couldn't get that. I lied, I don't have feeling towards her anymore. That was the biggest mistake I guess. She replied, you make things worse. Then I was like, thanks but you didn't get my perspectives at all, you don't know what I've been through, gtg now, bye. I blocked her IM afterwards. Can I ever fix that? OMG I just couldn't believe it, I blew it all. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 Don't say that about yourself or anybody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 17, 2005 Author Share Posted March 17, 2005 I just don't know what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 Look at it this way. She is completely ignoring the fact that you are in pain, and has no concern whatsoever for how you are feeling and why it is you can't be friends. By being mean to you, she has shown you that the only important thing to her is what she wants: for you to be at her beck and call as her "friend". Can I ever fix that? OMG I just couldn't believe it, I blew it all. What is there to fix? All you would be doing is returning to a situation where you are in love with someone who is not in love with you and calls that "friends". Think carefully about what it is you 'blew'. Were you happy with this one-sided friendship? Was it beneficial to settle for 'friends' when 'love' is what you really want? What would happen when she starts dating again and wants to tell her 'friend' all about it? Think of her - and try to decide if you would want to be friends with this person if there were absolutely NO romantic possibility, ever. Would you still seek out her company if you did not love her? If love is your reason for wanting her 'friendship' then you will probably be better off if you just didn't talk to her for a while until that love subsides. You can't really be friends with someone if you have unresolved romantic feelings for them. Don't contact her, but if she contacts you again (which she is almost sure to do), let her know you have to work this out alone, and that as your friend she should understand that. Then ask her to leave you alone. No contact means NO CONTACT. No calls, no emails, no txts, nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 Thanks Lucrezia for your beautiful insight. I guess NC is the only way. I must get through this. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Sounds like she doesn't want you but no-one else can have you, checking up on you etc, pure selfishness on her part. Please continue with NC, you may be friends again one day but only when this has blown over. Then you can decide if you really need her in your life as a "friend". Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 19, 2005 Author Share Posted March 19, 2005 Two days no contacts. She seemed happy, I saw her at IM, she changed her nick with `sexeeh lil lady`, `drop it lyk it's hot`, `prodigy concert damn nice !`. I bet she went there, and having fun with her new friends, because the last time she contacted me, she told me she's having a new friends. Should I delete her IM ? Coz it was hurting me, and I guess she still mad of me, usually she calls me at IM. I think I need a new social circle .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 20, 2005 Author Share Posted March 20, 2005 Worse night ... I couldn't sleep, miss her badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 24, 2005 Author Share Posted March 24, 2005 Should I txt her happy birthday on 6th April? It`s her birthday. Or just msg her at Friendster? Is it immature to block her from my IM and FS accounts? Link to post Share on other sites
beatjunkies Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Just keep up with the NC.. if she dumped you then this is the best way to make her realize what she has lost. I would maybe message her saying happy b day but thats it.. My mistake was contacting me ex all the time when she broke up with me. Now I do NC but I think its almost as if i made it easier for her to let the contact get less and less.. I think that NC works the best when you first break up.. I Just feel that my NC is pointless now that my ex has a bf now.. its almost like shes just moving on and what not.. its ko0 though im going to get some trim tomorrow at the massage parlor Its been like 4 months since ive gotten any (my ex was the last time i got some) So im kind of happy about that.. anyways yeah just keep up with NC.. It shows her that she cant have it her way.. If you don't want to be friends with her and you want more then let it be known.. Trust me if you try to just act like a friend when you dont feel that way its not going to work.. You will get your hopes up and might think something more than what it is.. Thats how it seemed for me.. Last time I hung out with my ex (beginning of Feb) she was all tickly and touch and have me a nice tight hug.. I thought things might have been getting better but I just got mixed signals I guess. Now its like she doesn't even call me at this point.. when i first started NC she would call maybe like once a week but now its like whatever.. I asked if she even thought we should talk and she said "i dont know" its weird because like a month before when she called i was like yeah i gotta get off the phone.. she hung up on me and called me back and said " so do you hate me and not want me to be your friend or what?" and then now its like shes ko0 with it ?? go figure.. things changed quickly though.. now its worse than before.. Ok man sorry about posting my story on here but i have to vent a little bit.. But yeah stay with NC and just a simple txt saying happy b day would be ok IMO.. since its a fresh breakup I think NC will help you out a lot.. take care bro !! peace Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlankSpace Posted March 24, 2005 Author Share Posted March 24, 2005 Well thanks so much beatjunkies. I feel you man. The mistake I did, I guess by telling her that I needed space and couldn't be friends with her at this time. She hasn't contacted me since then. What if she invited me to her birthday party? Should I come? Alone or with a date? Link to post Share on other sites
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