I love him and he's just playing with me...

[lazymeow]

I'm so confused with this relationship. I met my boyfriend 8 months ago, in a bar, we did drugs, went to his house had sex and that's how we met. He's 37 I am 19. What good can come from that? It was just a one night stand for me, but he showed up the next day and I thought I'd give him a chance. And now I'm just suffering from this relation. He keeps saying how his ex wife was a cheater and how he's so scared I cheat. I realized two months ago he had an account on okCupid he said that was WA before we met.... Ok. But Saturday night someone with the area code of here called him and he didn't reply... "who was that?" He said he doesn't know probably a lawyer or something like that. On a Saturday night? He recently changed his password, I went on that dating website he used to be on apparently he logged in last night after I ask him question he disappeared from it. But I know he goes on other websites idk about he even has a picture of his dicks on his phone that he took when we was together but wasn't meant for me. But I'm just a stupid little bitch and that's probably what he likes probably why he hooks up with a 19 yo so its easier. Now I just feel like ****. Today he went with his phone taking his shower when I don't even know his password!!! And if you've nothing to hide why would you do that? I'm so sad but I love him and I'm scared I stay with him and try to blind myself until the day he really hurts me. Please help me people im kind of fragile and he could really hurt me. Worst is he knows that but it doesn't seem to bother him.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I'm so confused with this relationship. I met my boyfriend 8 months ago, in a bar, we did drugs, went to his house had sex and that's how we met. He's 37 I am 19. What good can come from that? It was just a one night stand for me, but he showed up the next day and I thought I'd give him a chance. And now I'm just suffering from this relation. He keeps saying how his ex wife was a cheater and how he's so scared I cheat. I realized two months ago he had an account on okCupid he said that was WA before we met.... Ok. But Saturday night someone with the area code of here called him and he didn't reply... "who was that?" He said he doesn't know probably a lawyer or something like that. On a Saturday night? He recently changed his password, I went on that dating website he used to be on apparently he logged in last night after I ask him question he disappeared from it. But I know he goes on other websites idk about he even has a picture of his dicks on his phone that he took when we was together but wasn't meant for me. But I'm just a stupid little bitch and that's probably what he likes probably why he hooks up with a 19 yo so its easier. Now I just feel like ****. Today he went with his phone taking his shower when I don't even know his password!!! And if you've nothing to hide why would you do that? I'm so sad but I love him and I'm scared I stay with him and try to blind myself until the day he really hurts me. Please help me people im kind of fragile and he could really hurt me. Worst is he knows that but it doesn't seem to bother him.

 

 

Anything past the bolded part is seriously just confirmation,

this "relationship" is bad news, you should use my rhyme as affirmation.

This guy is 37 years old, and doing drugs with someone who is 19...

Need I even say more without being obscene?

[Leigh 87]

Is this for real?

 

If it is then.. this guy is disgusting

 

This guy has loose morals and no boundaries - no emotionally and mentally healthy 37 year old man would pursue sex with a 19 year old girl:sick:

 

So, the fact he hooked up with you despite your huuuuge age gap is indicative that your "boyfriend" is not the type of man you want to become involved with...

 

And in general, it is never a great idea to meet your significant other out while you are doing drugs and then to have sex with them on the same night - most men are going to lose respect for you.

 

I have tried drugs a few times so I won't lecture you but yeah it is best you try drugs just once and then after you "know how it feels like", stop.. don't touch them again - it is what I did and I am so grateful for it...

 

Not many decent men, the types of men who are husband material, go out and do drugs; nor to they want relationships with girls who do drugs.

 

Please look after yourself and try your hardest to understand WHY it is so wrong of this jerk to have had sex with you when he was 37:sick:

[lazymeow]

Can you guys explain me in what (probably obvious) way he is not a healthy person, what's wrong with him? I just kind of spent the last Hal year with him and can't understand anymore... As weird as it sound. I would like to understand what's in his mind? I don't mind if what you will say seem rude. I just want to understand why I should stop it right now, stop making myself believe he deep down cares. Its kind of hard to believe the guy I love doesn't mind about hurting in a that obvious way that I can't even see because I blind myself... Thanks for ur replies by the way!

[ExpatInItaly]

Can you guys explain me in what (probably obvious) way he is not a healthy person, what's wrong with him? I just kind of spent the last Hal year with him and can't understand anymore... As weird as it sound. I would like to understand what's in his mind? I don't mind if what you will say seem rude. I just want to understand why I should stop it right now, stop making myself believe he deep down cares. Its kind of hard to believe the guy I love doesn't mind about hurting in a that obvious way that I can't even see because I blind myself... Thanks for ur replies by the way!

 

I'm sorry, but you're not healthy either. Doing drugs in bar with strangers and then going home and having sex with them is extremely self-destructive. The fact that he's nearly 40 and hitting on teenagers is disturbing. He's more than likely having sex with other women.

 

What more do you need us to say that you don't already know? He doesn't love you and never did.

 

And for the love of Mary, get yourself tested for STIs if you're not using protection with him.

[lazymeow]

If I'm single I use my pussy and my behavior however I want. I know doing drugs is bad, sleeping with strangers.... I don't think I'm the first one who did though. And if its the way I qct who are you to judge? I just didnt expect him to become anything to me and he did, it was a stupid mistake maybe but the problem isn't there anymore. I didn't ask for your judgmental comments. The question wasn't there, if you are not replying to it, don't reply at all. Thank you.

Edited November 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[lazymeow]

I'm sorry, but you're not healthy either. Doing drugs in bar with strangers and then going home and having sex with them is extremely self-destructive. The fact that he's nearly 40 and hitting on teenagers is disturbing. He's more than likely having sex with other women.

 

What more do you need us to say that you don't already know? He doesn't love you and never did.

 

And for the love of Mary, get yourself tested for STIs if you're not using protection with him.

 

 

 

If I'm single I use my pussy and my behavior however I want. I know doing drugs is bad, sleeping with strangers.... I don't think I'm the first one who did though. And if its the way I qct who are you to judge? I just didnt expect him to become anything to me and he did, it was a stupid mistake maybe but the problem isn't there anymore. I didn't ask for your judgmental comments. The question wasn't there, if you are not replying to it, don't reply at all. Thank you.

[d0nnivain]

You love him because you are a 19 year old child & he's the "dashing" older man, father figure.

 

He's actually not good for you but then again neither are drugs or sex with strangers. You don't make the best decisions. Since you don't really know where he is when he's not with you & you suspect there are others, be safe & use condoms. Get yourself tested regularly.

 

When you are ready to grow up & take real responsibility for yourself you will get off the drugs, dump this user & clean up your vulgar language. Only you can do those things & you won't do any of them until you are ready. For your sake I hope it's soon because to my way of thinking, the road you are on with your high -risk behaviors leads to jail or the cemetery. Be careful.

[Zahara]

If I'm single I use my pussy and my behavior however I want.

 

Well, then you'll always be meeting men that either use or abuse you. You can use your body whichever way you want, but when you behave the way you do, you attract men that won't respect or treat you the way you want to. In that sense, you can't complain or bemoan his behavior towards you when you present yourself negatively.

 

I know doing drugs is bad, sleeping with strangers.... I don't think I'm the first one who did though.

 

Just because others do it, it doesn't mean you need to do it. Don't you have values, goals, morals, boundaries of your own? If everyone's jumping off a cliff, you'd do it because everyone's doing it? That's a weak and self-destructive mindset.

 

Before you question his behavior, it would do you more good to question your own because for as long as you behave this way, you will only keep attracting negative and destructive people into your life.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Can you guys explain me in what (probably obvious) way he is not a healthy person, what's wrong with him? I just kind of spent the last Hal year with him and can't understand anymore... As weird as it sound. I would like to understand what's in his mind? I don't mind if what you will say seem rude. I just want to understand why I should stop it right now, stop making myself believe he deep down cares. Its kind of hard to believe the guy I love doesn't mind about hurting in a that obvious way that I can't even see because I blind myself... Thanks for ur replies by the way!

 

Doing drugs, sex with strangers, as "fun" as it may seem,

Is a way to deal with problems and to mitigate the true regime.

It's one way to deal with problems that is extremely destructive,

If you want to be healthy, you should try something constructive.

[GoBlue]

You are absolutely correct - you can use your body any way you want - nobody is taking that fact away from you. The truth is, however, although you are free to choose your own actions, you are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. No one can really determine what makes him an "unhealthy person" other than making assumptions based on what you have written: 1.) he is basically TWICE your age, 2.) he does drugs, and 3.)he is a recently divorced man who had sex with you within a few hours of meeting you. I am not sure that what you feel for him is love but there are reasons you have serious doubts about his intentions (pictures, websites, secrecy, etc.). Listen to that inner voice - do you really believe that he intends to love you like you want to be loved? If the answer is "no" what are you willing to do about it? He cannot use you or hurt you if you remove yourself from the situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[lazymeow]

You are absolutely correct - you can use your body any way you want - nobody is taking that fact away from you. The truth is, however, although you are free to choose your own actions, you are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. No one can really determine what makes him an "unhealthy person" other than making assumptions based on what you have written: 1.) he is basically TWICE your age, 2.) he does drugs, and 3.)he is a recently divorced man who had sex with you within a few hours of meeting you. I am not sure that what you feel for him is love but there are reasons you have serious doubts about his intentions (pictures, websites, secrecy, etc.). Listen to that inner voice - do you really believe that he intends to love you like you want to be loved? If the answer is "no" what are you willing to do about it? He cannot use you or hurt you if you remove yourself from the situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

 

 

thanks ! That's the kind of answers/ question I was looking for. I know I'm self destructive and I don't realize what I'm doing. But its not by telling me I should question myself that I will know where to start questioning. I need to know what question I should be wondering. And you're right... I am attached and like the facility of having someone but maybe I want more than just being with someone. Maybe I need that someone to love and respect me a Maybe I nee to be alone for a while. I'm scared to be alone. To be without him. But maybe... Maybe I should. I'm not sure I'm healthy for him neither...

[smackie9]

lazy meow a man doesn't give you a life, only you can can do this for yourself as an individual. Go find some interests, hobbies and friends. This will shape you in a healthy way as a person, and will fill the void that before you were using this man to do. It's just that simple. Oh and stop doing drugs.....drugs are counter productive.....in other words get a real life.

[GildedLily]

thanks ! That's the kind of answers/ question I was looking for. I know I'm self destructive and I don't realize what I'm doing. But its not by telling me I should question myself that I will know where to start questioning. I need to know what question I should be wondering. And you're right... I am attached and like the facility of having someone but maybe I want more than just being with someone. Maybe I need that someone to love and respect me a Maybe I nee to be alone for a while. I'm scared to be alone. To be without him. But maybe... Maybe I should. I'm not sure I'm healthy for him neither...

 

Actually starting with yourself is exactly where you should start. Question what drove you to such a dark man, seek therapy if you can, colleges and universities offer it for much cheaper if you live near one. You sound like a smart girl that is looking for answers and guidance.