Can people be completely satisfied in life without being in a relationship?

[somedude81]

Simple question.

 

Is it possible to be fully satisfied in life with friends, hobbies, work, whatever; to the point that one wouldn't care if they were single.

 

If you are in a relationship now, would you be perfectly fine if your partner left you and you would be single for the rest of your life? Why or why not?

[OwMyEyeball]

I don't see why not.

 

That being said, I certainly see how a good romantic relationship can be enriching to any person's life. It's a noble pursuit, but not essential for happiness.

 

Now, a life without companionship, community and social support - that sounds quite miserable. Tolerable, yes. Maybe there's a handful of monks out there who could find tranquility and joy in that, but for the rest of us we rely on our relationships with people to keep our spirits buoyed.

[lollipopspot]

Yes, it's perfectly possible to be satisfied in life with out a romantic relationship, and yes, I believe I could be as satisfied in life without it or with it.

 

Why? Because there are lots of things I can do without it that would bring me whatever level of contentment I'm likely to get from anything. I understand we have a kind of "set point" of happiness. If you win the lottery, you might be happier for a short time, but then you go back to your set point of happiness.

 

I'm a fairly easygoing person about relationships. I find companionship where I can, I don't have a fairy tale idea of relationships lasting forever or that they should be a certain way. I grew up in a very volatile environment and so I never had a fantasy of the traditional nuclear family and that everyone should strive for that or that if they do that it will work out.

 

One day at a time, SD.

[oldshirt]

I wouldn't be happy to not ever be in a relationship again but that's just me, I've known a number of people that have never been in a serious relationship and seem perfectly healthy, happy and well adjusted.

 

 

One of my old buddies from high school has never even had one single date (man or woman so I don't think he's gay) and he seems perfectly content. He's not bad looking at all, has had a very successful career, great sense of humor and from all outward appearances would be a good catch. He just seems to have no interest in dating or relationships or sex at all.

 

 

That's not the life for me but he and some others seem perfectly good with it.

[GemmaUK]

Absolutely!

 

 

Relationships are not everything by any means.

 

 

I would much rather be single than in a relationship that I wasn't happy in.

 

 

There is way more to life than RS's. A great RS is icing on the cake.

[pteromom]

Yes, I would be OK single. I always make the most of what I have, and I always try to be grateful for what I have instead of longing for what I don't have.

 

The fact is that there is a lot of good and bad in being in a relationship. And there is a lot of good and bad in being single. I focus on the good and deal with the bad, in both situations.

[GoodOnPaper]

In my mid-40s and married for 20 years, the answer is simple -- yes.

 

But in my dating years, teens and early 20s, I would have thought it impossible. As a science nerd with "nice guy" issues and being rather awkward socially, I had a lousy self-image that I thought could only be "redeemed" by having a long-term GF to prove to the world and myself that I was OK. At a time of life with no money, working through education, being at the bottom of the professional ladder, and having everything seem to revolve around how good you were at bars and parties (which was very bad for me), there didn't seem to be any other way I could sufficiently fill my life.

 

Getting married was not the triumphant victory over my miserable single life that I wanted -- it was more like bailing out a sinking ship -- but it did force me to direct more of my mental energies to developing a well-rounded life. Now, 2 kids and 20 years later, if anything my life is too full. If when I was single, I had even 10% of the interests, hobbies, and career activities and challenges that I have now, I would have had a much more successful single life -- even if I hadn't attracted any more women. I would have had perspective and patience.

 

If my wife left, I would have no problem filling my time in a worthwhile fashion. Whether it's possible to truly gain this patience and perspective without having to go through 20 years of marriage and kids is a question I still haven't answered.

[carhill]

Can people be completely satisfied in life without being in a relationship?

 

At your age, probably not, if you mean forever. At my age, less probably not and, in some circumstances, probably so. However, most people my age have been in relationships, or married, so maybe that doesn't correctly address the question.

 

IMO, if one needs the validation and synergistic interactions of an intimate relationship to be completely satisfied in life, then they will be less than completely satisfied without it. The operative word is 'need'. When I hear a person say 'I can't be alone' and their actions validate their words, I accept that they 'need' such interactions and would expect them to not be satisfied being alone or devoid of intimate relations. For others, where expressions aren't so clear, it varies.

 

Myself, give me a quiet stream, a fishing pole and some of nature's embrace and I'll gladly welcome a visitor but they need not stay. Happy to see them come, and go. Any 'need' which was there prior has departed. I think the ladies sense that and move on to men who 'need' them more. I think that's healthy.

[soyou]

Absolutely. Everytime i'm single, I feel like I'm running a marathon to catch up with all the fun in life. So much to do and so little time. Dont get me wrong. I love to be in realtionship but being is not bad either.

 

Sometimes, being single is the moment for you to learn about yourself and what you want in life. This wil create a strong and healthy foundation for you later in life and in relationship.

 

For everyone, happiness and joy are defined diffirently and therefire, whatever makes you happy, satisfied or fulfilled, that's it.

 

As a single person, what I enjoy doing and makes me fulfilled and happy everyday are: 1) my job and my clients 2) gym 3) foods 4) on the phone 30-60mins every evening with my BFF 5) hangout 6) online shopping 7) reading buzzfeeds/9gag/fbing 8) taking care of myself (massage, sauna, spa, manicureetc)

[me85]

I could live happily for the rest of my life as a single person. Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Indeed.

[GemmaUK]

Myself, give me a quiet stream, a fishing pole and some of nature's embrace and I'll gladly welcome a visitor but they need not stay. Happy to see them come, and go. Any 'need' which was there prior has departed. I think the ladies sense that and move on to men who 'need' them more. I think that's healthy.

 

 

It's moments like this that I miss in some RS's I have been in over the last few years. Quiet, me time. not fishing as I like fish too much but sitting by a river reading while paddling my feets on a hot day watching the boats go by and kindle in hand...beautiful times!

[M30USA]

I believe I've reached this state.

[xxoo]

Yes, if I were single at this age id be traveling the world building toilets for women in communities without them. Its my newest pet interest. Can't go, cause husband and kids, but it sounds like a very gratifying alternative life.

[somedude81]

I believe carhill makes a good point about age.

 

For a younger person the idea of being alone forever is much more scary than for one who is older, has been married and had kids.

[lollipopspot]

I don't think Carhill is a father.

[me85]

I believe carhill makes a good point about age.

 

For a younger person the idea of being alone forever is much more scary than for one who is older, has been married and had kids.

 

Ya, I'm only 29 but I'm perfectly content with being single. I wish more people my age felt the same as me. Everybody's racing to get to the altar. I'm just looking to meet new people and date casually. Soo many people my age are having kids. They already married at 26/27. I'm just an outcast. lol

[Weezy1973]

Simple question.

 

Is it possible to be fully satisfied in life with friends, hobbies, work, whatever; to the point that one wouldn't care if they were single.

 

If you are in a relationship now, would you be perfectly fine if your partner left you and you would be single for the rest of your life? Why or why not?

 

I'm actually going to buck the trend here and say that most people would not be fully satisfied in life without being in a relationship. In fact, I would argue that humans are biologically predisposed to want that deep connection that only a meaningful, monogamous, sexual relationship can bring.

 

Keep in mind that people here on LS aren't exactly typical of the rest of the world - tends to be filled with people that have relationship woes.

 

It's always fascinating to me that people spend so much time and brain power to a forum dedicated to love and relationships yet claim to be perfectly content staying single...doesn't really compute...

[Mr Scorpio]

It's always fascinating to me that people spend so much time and brain power to a forum dedicated to love and relationships yet claim to be perfectly content staying single...doesn't really compute...

 

Fair point. LS is a community. Plenty of us know each other on a first name basis. We PM each other. We Skype and FB and so on and such. It is much easier to tolerate being single when one has a supportive network of friends and family.

 

For some folks here, LS is a part of that.

[me85]

I'm actually going to buck the trend here and say that most people would not be fully satisfied in life without being in a relationship. In fact, I would argue that humans are biologically predisposed to want that deep connection that only a meaningful, monogamous, sexual relationship can bring.

 

Keep in mind that people here on LS aren't exactly typical of the rest of the world - tends to be filled with people that have relationship woes.

 

It's always fascinating to me that people spend so much time and brain power to a forum dedicated to love and relationships yet claim to be perfectly content staying single...doesn't really compute...

 

LS may have started out as a RS advisory by the public for the public but turned into an anything goes chat forum. People on LS are people in the world. There's quite a lot of people on here too. So LS members aren't "normal typical" people in the world, huh? We're all just bitter broken hearted people with hatred for RSs, huh? I'm sure not many people will take too kindly of that on here. I know I don't.

 

Being content with being single for a while after coming out of a toxic RS is ALWAYS the best thing to do for one's self. It's healthy and says a lot more than being codependent, emotionally overly attached human being. People need to learn to be single FIRST. If you can't make yourself happy then how are you supposed to make someone else happy??

 

If anything people on here are ahead of the game. We know the importance of healing and taking time for ourselves.

[xxoo]

It's always fascinating to me that people spend so much time and brain power to a forum dedicated to love and relationships yet claim to be perfectly content staying single...doesn't really compute...

 

Romantic relationships aren't the only relationships that are satisfying.

 

In fact, not all romantic relationships are satisfying

[somedude81]

I'm actually going to buck the trend here and say that most people would not be fully satisfied in life without being in a relationship. In fact, I would argue that humans are biologically predisposed to want that deep connection that only a meaningful, monogamous, sexual relationship can bring.

 

Keep in mind that people here on LS aren't exactly typical of the rest of the world - tends to be filled with people that have relationship woes.

 

It's always fascinating to me that people spend so much time and brain power to a forum dedicated to love and relationships yet claim to be perfectly content staying single...doesn't really compute...

 

That is my thought exactly.

 

If people were perfectly content being single and don't need to have romantic relationships in their life, why are they on LoveShack?

[carhill]

I don't think Carhill is a father.

Very true. My exW and I were unable to have children.

[me85]

That is my thought exactly.

 

If people were perfectly content being single and don't need to have romantic relationships in their life, why are they on LoveShack?

 

LS may have started out as a RS advisory by the public for the public but turned into an anything goes public chat forum. It's like any other social media if you asked me.

[carhill]

If people were perfectly content being single and don't need to have romantic relationships in their life, why are they on LoveShack?

 

Myself, I've been a discussion forum person since the internet essentially began, back from BBS/Usenet times. LS is interesting discussion and insight to me. It also helped me through a tough time when I got divorced and buried my mother. I think each person's reasons vary and people seem to come and go and some even come back again after long periods away.

 

Currently, I feel no pull to be 'coupled'. That could change tomorrow. Or never. I'll deal with it then.

[Copelandsanity]

Absolutely. Everytime i'm single, I feel like I'm running a marathon to catch up with all the fun in life. So much to do and so little time. Dont get me wrong. I love to be in realtionship but being is not bad either.

 

Sometimes, being single is the moment for you to learn about yourself and what you want in life. This wil create a strong and healthy foundation for you later in life and in relationship.

 

For everyone, happiness and joy are defined diffirently and therefire, whatever makes you happy, satisfied or fulfilled, that's it.

 

As a single person, what I enjoy doing and makes me fulfilled and happy everyday are: 1) my job and my clients 2) gym 3) foods 4) on the phone 30-60mins every evening with my BFF 5) hangout 6) online shopping 7) reading buzzfeeds/9gag/fbing 8) taking care of myself (massage, sauna, spa, manicureetc)

 

That's a great way of putting it: "running a marathon to catch up with all the fun in life." I just started doing running again and hope to run a half-marathon within a year's time. But there's still so many things to do - reach the next level in tennis, make more money, add to my karaoke repertoire, learn new yoga poses - and new things to try - swimming, learn a new language - that you do feel like you're in catch-up mode.