Should I feel bad?

[Kay0192]

Hi guys, I need a little bit of help.. Idk if this will make sense or if this is even in the right place but I just need some help..

 

My ex boyfriend and I had recently broken up due to him cheating on me.

We have been together for almost three years and in those years I have caught him cheating on me with girls online and I have caught him having multiple different dating accounts. Because I loved him a lot .. I was blinded and had given him second, third, fourth chances and so on, every single time he begged for another chance and when he says that he will change ... A part of me believed that he will change but every single time I was proven wrong .. I really don't know why I kept holding on..

 

Every time I take him back I feel very stupid because I know u deserve way more .. But I still end up taking him back ... I guess the heart wants what the heart wants ... Even I, myself know that I'm stupid to take him back after he cheated on me multiple times ..

 

I had been the best girlfriend I could have possibly be.. We met in our university days and I have helped him so much with his life and honestly.. He wouldn't be where he is without my help.. I sacrificed so much for him.. I helped him become successful while I put my own future aside .. I really did loved this man and cared for him dearly ...

I was always there for him, through his ups and downs.. But when it comes to me, he was rarely there..

 

Anyways when we broke up a couple of days ago.. I had my last straw after I saw him on another dating site (I know it's wrong to snoop but after him cheating multiple times I couldn't help myself).. I said many many mean things like it's pretty sad that he needs multiple girls to make him feel good about himself and that he thinks he's all that .. I was very angry and many insults came out of me.. I'm not the type to get angry easily .. But this time .. I felt the most angry in my whole life ..

 

Anyways.. He told me that he's been depressed because we keep fighting (when I catch him) and that with the insults he felt rly low about himself and he even told me he's considering commuting suicide in the future and I wouldn't know about it .. After that it made me think.. Was I too much?

 

He made me feel that it was all my fault ... How am I not allowed to be angry when he's been cheating on me multiple times .. Why is it me that needs to feel bad that I caught him? I don't understand ... Now I'm putting this all on myself ... I'm the one who got cheated on.. I was the one hurt .. But I'm the one worried for his feelings .. It's unfair..

[CarrieT]

Nope, don't feel bad.

 

He is trying to manipulate you and the best thing you can do is give him an 800-number to a suicide hotline and then go No Contact.