Realist3 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm just going to say this from the perspective of someone who has been involved in an LTA. You are in danger. At the very least he is having an emotional affair. Your greatest asset is access. Do not blow that by confronting with what you have so far. Although for me it would be enough. The problem is that you want to believe him. He will use that to his advantage. There are things you can do to go into investigative mode that are posted here every day. Follow them. Once it goes really under ground, you won't find sh*t. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deeko Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 When you say there are things I can to do go into investigative mode, what does that mean? So basically, you're saying to just keep doing my detective work and see what I can find before confronting him with every little thing I find? Makes sense. We had tentative plans tonight and he just text and asked if we were still on... I haven't heard from him all day and it's 3:30pm. I said I didn't know and based on recent events, I needed time to think and didn't know if that was best to do with him or apart. All the Jackarse said back was "OK!" Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 When you say there are things I can to do go into investigative mode, what does that mean? So basically, you're saying to just keep doing my detective work and see what I can find before confronting him with every little thing I find? Makes sense. We had tentative plans tonight and he just text and asked if we were still on... I haven't heard from him all day and it's 3:30pm. I said I didn't know and based on recent events, I needed time to think and didn't know if that was best to do with him or apart. All the Jackarse said back was "OK!" Are you serious? That's all he sent back? It seems to me he's not concerned about yours feelings whatsoever. Harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deeko Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm sure he thinks i'm being ridiculous and it's easier to not deal with me or explain himself. I don't know what to do...do I go home or to his house? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 When you say there are things I can to do go into investigative mode, what does that mean? So basically, you're saying to just keep doing my detective work and see what I can find before confronting him with every little thing I find? Makes sense. We had tentative plans tonight and he just text and asked if we were still on... I haven't heard from him all day and it's 3:30pm. I said I didn't know and based on recent events, I needed time to think and didn't know if that was best to do with him or apart. All the Jackarse said back was "OK!" Yes, yes, yes, and yes again. If you hit him with the little chunks you do have, which have not convinced you, it will be taken far beneath your reach. It is very easy to do. I could tell you how to cheat for years and never raise any suspicion, and never get caught. There is only one person you have to convince, and that is yourself. Do not give up your best tool by confrontation. There are people here that will tell you what all you can do to go full detective mode, I just do not have the time righg now. Take a pensive approach. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm sure he thinks i'm being ridiculous and it's easier to not deal with me or explain himself. I don't know what to do...do I go home or to his house? What do you want to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deeko Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 Ideally, I want him to stop and realize what a jackass he's being and how I'm not the bad person in this case. But... chances are he never will because he's gotten away with this for this long. I seriously keep the peace for my daughter so I don't have to deal with a custody battle with his stupid ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deeko Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 Your post made me laugh I hope you're right about the custody thing. To hear him talk though, I'm so crazy for assuming this. My moms friend offered insight that gave me some peace of mind. She said men do this after a baby is born. They feel neglected and unworthy so they look for attention wherever. She said it could be completely innocent, he just likes knowing there's some attention from someone. I can kinda see this because since birth, the baby has been my number one priority. I asked the jackass if he'd consider couples counseling, and he said he's open to it. I feel like this will be my last ditch effort with all this. We both can go tell our story to an unbiased stranger who will hopefully be able to see what's really going on and if he's lying. If this doesn't work, I will at least have the satisfaction of knowing I tried my damnedest. Thanks for all the advice everyone Link to post Share on other sites
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