ex came to clear the air

[heartbroken1357]

After being split up from my ex for 2 months, and 3 weeks of No contact, I had a call

she wanted to come and clear the air, I don't know if it was to ease her guilt but she seemed to genuinely care.

 

She split up with me all of a sudden via text while away for a week on a business trip just 3 days after saying how much I meant to her and how comfortable she felt around me, she said her feelings had changed and maybe in the future things could be different.

 

fast forward a month after I made the mistake of begging and not going NC, while being thrown breadcrumbs and mixed signals, she asks to meet me and tells me she is pregnant but was going through with an abortion she shut me out as she didn't want to hit me with the breakup and the pregnancy and abortion all at once.

 

lastnight she came and saw me, said she doesn't like seeing me down and upset and closing my friends out, she said she really appreciated me being there for her throughout the ordeal if she needed me, and apologised for being up and down due to the hormonal changes she was experiencing, and that it wasn't that I wasn't enough.

 

she said she doesn't think in the near future we can be together and that the whole experience had changed her feelings which I completely understand, I wanted to be angry with the way she handled the ordeal but I just couldn't, I feel terribly guilty for not taking more responsibility with contraception even though she was on the pill.

 

she said that in the future we can be friends and maybe one day we may get back together, but she isnt sure as she doesn't want to regret the abortion if we had kids in the future.

 

I think the world of her and despite all this my feelings haven't faded, she hasn't strictly offered me a second chance but I feel there's still something there, she said she had to come and see me and she wouldnt of been here i didn't mean anything to her.

 

I'm starting to feel better in myself but I miss her terribly, I've had a few relationships and dated the last year but nothing came close to when I met her.

I am consumed with guilt over putting her through this, the abortion and the what ifs had we of been more careful we probably would be together now.

 

does anyone have any advice, we're tied for life because of this experience and I genuinely will always care about her, I don't know weather to have her in my life as a friend or xut contact for a while.

 

thanks for reading

[Invictus01]

After being split up from my ex for 2 months, and 3 weeks of No contact, I had a call

she wanted to come and clear the air, I don't know if it was to ease her guilt but she seemed to genuinely care.

 

She split up with me all of a sudden via text while away for a week on a business trip just 3 days after saying how much I meant to her and how comfortable she felt around me, she said her feelings had changed and maybe in the future things could be different.

 

fast forward a month after I made the mistake of begging and not going NC, while being thrown breadcrumbs and mixed signals, she asks to meet me and tells me she is pregnant but was going through with an abortion she shut me out as she didn't want to hit me with the breakup and the pregnancy and abortion all at once.

 

lastnight she came and saw me, said she doesn't like seeing me down and upset and closing my friends out, she said she really appreciated me being there for her throughout the ordeal if she needed me, and apologised for being up and down due to the hormonal changes she was experiencing, and that it wasn't that I wasn't enough.

 

she said she doesn't think in the near future we can be together and that the whole experience had changed her feelings which I completely understand, I wanted to be angry with the way she handled the ordeal but I just couldn't, I feel terribly guilty for not taking more responsibility with contraception even though she was on the pill.

 

she said that in the future we can be friends and maybe one day we may get back together, but she isnt sure as she doesn't want to regret the abortion if we had kids in the future.

 

I think the world of her and despite all this my feelings haven't faded, she hasn't strictly offered me a second chance but I feel there's still something there, she said she had to come and see me and she wouldnt of been here i didn't mean anything to her.

 

I'm starting to feel better in myself but I miss her terribly, I've had a few relationships and dated the last year but nothing came close to when I met her.

I am consumed with guilt over putting her through this, the abortion and the what ifs had we of been more careful we probably would be together now.

 

does anyone have any advice, we're tied for life because of this experience and I genuinely will always care about her, I don't know weather to have her in my life as a friend or xut contact for a while.

 

thanks for reading

 

Let her go dude. She will be back when she is ready to be your friend or whatever else. Till then, all this will be just a constant heartache...

[DrReplyInRhymes]

After being split up from my ex for 2 months, and 3 weeks of No contact, I had a call

she wanted to come and clear the air, I don't know if it was to ease her guilt but she seemed to genuinely care.

 

She split up with me all of a sudden via text while away for a week on a business trip just 3 days after saying how much I meant to her and how comfortable she felt around me, she said her feelings had changed and maybe in the future things could be different.

 

fast forward a month after I made the mistake of begging and not going NC, while being thrown breadcrumbs and mixed signals, she asks to meet me and tells me she is pregnant but was going through with an abortion she shut me out as she didn't want to hit me with the breakup and the pregnancy and abortion all at once.

 

lastnight she came and saw me, said she doesn't like seeing me down and upset and closing my friends out, she said she really appreciated me being there for her throughout the ordeal if she needed me, and apologised for being up and down due to the hormonal changes she was experiencing, and that it wasn't that I wasn't enough.

 

she said she doesn't think in the near future we can be together and that the whole experience had changed her feelings which I completely understand, I wanted to be angry with the way she handled the ordeal but I just couldn't, I feel terribly guilty for not taking more responsibility with contraception even though she was on the pill.

 

she said that in the future we can be friends and maybe one day we may get back together, but she isnt sure as she doesn't want to regret the abortion if we had kids in the future.

 

I think the world of her and despite all this my feelings haven't faded, she hasn't strictly offered me a second chance but I feel there's still something there, she said she had to come and see me and she wouldnt of been here i didn't mean anything to her.

 

I'm starting to feel better in myself but I miss her terribly, I've had a few relationships and dated the last year but nothing came close to when I met her.

I am consumed with guilt over putting her through this, the abortion and the what ifs had we of been more careful we probably would be together now.

 

does anyone have any advice, we're tied for life because of this experience and I genuinely will always care about her, I don't know weather to have her in my life as a friend or xut contact for a while.

 

thanks for reading

 

Maybe I'm just an *******, maybe I just have no empathy here.

But I don't see anything different, just the breakup made clear.

She does not want to reconcile, she only wanted to explain,

so stay no contact and don't play this chasing game.

[chados]

when youve been through this once and been completely heartbroken like me. and maybe this is your first time. then its impossible to understand things. this will come with time and when youre feeling better again. right now its pointless to even try figuring things out cause you will end up making up excuses in your head. take it for what it is and just live your life to the fullest. best chance of getting back and best chance of getting your life back on track is to simply move on and cut contact.

 

 

like i said, this happened to me and i knew there was not a chance getting back. but i believed it then.. it happened again with another girl just two weeks ago and we were together for 3 years. i do believe she will come back. i think that after youve been through this once you can feel if theres any chance the next time. i know this girl loves me and sometimes we just need time to understand that things arent always better without a person. theres other things that can cause a breakup that we dont understand at that time.

 

all i can say is dont sit home , dont act sad around her. act happy and show her that you are a strong person. this will not only make you feel better about yourself but also increase your chances of getting back together.

 

you want her but you dont need her to live your life. show yourself and her that you can be that guy.

[heartbroken1357]

when youve been through this once and been completely heartbroken like me. and maybe this is your first time. then its impossible to understand things. this will come with time and when youre feeling better again. right now its pointless to even try figuring things out cause you will end up making up excuses in your head. take it for what it is and just live your life to the fullest. best chance of getting back and best chance of getting your life back on track is to simply move on and cut contact.

 

 

like i said, this happened to me and i knew there was not a chance getting back. but i believed it then.. it happened again with another girl just two weeks ago and we were together for 3 years. i do believe she will come back. i think that after youve been through this once you can feel if theres any chance the next time. i know this girl loves me and sometimes we just need time to understand that things arent always better without a person. theres other things that can cause a breakup that we dont understand at that time.

 

all i can say is dont sit home , dont act sad around her. act happy and show her that you are a strong person. this will not only make you feel better about yourself but also increase your chances of getting back together.

 

you want her but you dont need her to live your life. show yourself and her that you can be that guy.

 

 

3rd time unfortunately in terms of breakups this just feels worse

[chados]

abortion for some is wrong. and some believe that woman should have the right to choose if they are ready to give birth to a baby. mostly this has to do with religion. killing a sperm isnt the same as killing a baby in my opinion. i think that its more stupid to give birth if youre not ready. i can however see how this can be very hard to deal with if one wants to have a baby and the other one choose a different path.

[William]

Sorry for the intrusion but moderation had to do some banned member cleanup and we tried to preserve as much of the cogent discussion as possible.

 

As an advisory, let's keep the discussion focused on the relationship. There are other threads, and forums, to discuss topics like the pros and cons and politics of abortion on. Thanks in advance for your cooperation!