Best friend of 5yrs dated and then cut me off

[LottaLover]

First let me start by saying I have never done anything like this, but I started researching a few things and started to realize I'm not the only one going thru this and reading other peoples stories has actually helped!

 

My friend and I had been best friends for about 5 years going on 6, we have always had a flirty friendship and a few times he tried to make a move on me but I wouldnt let him (always when he was mad at her i noticed), he had a girlfriend he loved and I knew he would feel guilty so I wouldnt do it because i cared about him.

 

They ended up breaking up, they were together for 3 years and she cheated on him and ended up leaving him to try it out with the other guy (he was beyond devistated). I have always been the one he runs too when things are bad so of course i was there.

 

One day he says he's in love with me.... I couldnt take him serious I couldnt believe out of no where he all of a sudden claimed he was in love with me (only 2 months after breaking up with his gf) he says he has always loved me and knew deep down he was in love. I didnt want to date him, i didnt want to go there i truly loved him as a person but he insisted and kept pushing and finally we went out on our first date.

 

He tried so hard to break down all my walls and kept telling me all the things i wanted to hear, would come have lunch with me every day he had off would text me nonstop and he finally did break down my walls. I kept telling him im just a distraction for him, im a rebound he's hurt and needs the attention and affection from me but he would tell me over and over again "no this is real, i know what i feel".

 

I ended up falling for him and then.... his ex finds out about us and flips out, she then started messing with his head and has been ever since.

 

He started changing little by little but would tell me he didnt want to be without me and didnt want to breakup with me I would catch him in small lies usually having to do with his ex which hurt a lot, we have always been open and honest with eachother and now he started lying? out of all people i would think he wouldnt do that to me.

 

We started fighting a lot, something we both cherished in the beginning that we never did. He started texting me less and less and calling me less and less and seeing me less and less but I always stayed because in my heart i knew this wasnt like him and gave him so many opportunities to tell me he wants to end things and he wouldnt. Finally I show up at his house after a weekend of him not texting me at all. He told me that he knows what i want and what i deserve and he cant be that person right now, that he has so much stress and things going on in his life that he needs to work on himself but that he does love me and doesnt want to be without me but just cant right now. He also said if i ever need anything or have any problems to make sure i call him, he also said "im still going to let you know i made it to work every morning" but nope next day and since, nothing.

 

It really hurt it did, but what hurts the most now is that he completely cut me out... stopped talking to me period. I text him and he will text back eventually and always short. He tells me over and over again he isnt back with his ex and their isnt anyone else, I keep telling him to just tell me so i can hear it and move on to let me move on but he wont admit it.

 

The isnt any other reason i can see how he could just completely cut me out, he went from talking to me every single day for 6 months all day and night to nothing. Thats what hurts the most, is how easy it is for him to do this how easy it is after all these years of friendship and the things we have gone thru that he just gives me the cold shoulder. This isnt like him, not the person i have known all these years im just dumb founded and beyond hurt. How do i move on? i feel like i dont have closure even though technically he broke it off and told me why but i dont buy it, it really came out of nowhere.

 

His family loves me and his mom keeps texting me to check onme and telling me im always welcomed in her home and wants to even go out withme to get a drink lol, I want to move on but I cant like this.

 

help

Edited November 22, 2014 by LottaLover

[kolleamm]

I'm sorry to hear that. Yup you were right you were just a rebound girl. Delete his number, and find a guy who will treat you right, don't go back to him even as a friend you deserve better than to be a silver medal.

[LottaLover]

I'm sorry to hear that. Yup you were right you were just a rebound girl. Delete his number, and find a guy who will treat you right, don't go back to him even as a friend you deserve better than to be a silver medal.

 

Blah easier said than done.... crazy how 6 months of dating ruined 6 years of friendship. Thanks for taking the time to read and reply!

[kolleamm]

I've been friends with this girl for 10 years and the same thing has happened to me as well. You can't trust anyone. When love is involved people will do terrible things to each other to get their way, regardless if your best friends or not.

[preraph]

You were his rebound. He was all reboundy even when they were together, trying to get something going when he was mad at his girlfriend, so he's no angel. So then when they broke up, he's hurt and sentimental and throws that sentimentality and need at you because you're handy. Now he's done because she's back and if it wasn't her, it would be someone new. I'm sorry. He's basically just needy from the breakup.