is it worth it

[something borrowed]

I can't believe I am writing this but here it goes. I am married and 40 something and my husband no longer gets an erection. This has been for almost 2 years and I am going crazy. He has had medical issues but I also know that there is treatments that can help. Since this started he no longer will in no way try to satisfy me or go back to doctor for help.

Lately I have had 2 opportunities where clients have approached me to meet and I turned them down (told them I am married). But lately I have really been rethinking my decision. I am not looking for love, I really just miss feeling a man. I also think if I met up with someone , my guilt would ruin it. I don't know if I make sense but I do know I need affection. ..anyone have opinions? Please play nice

[ForbiddenFruit]

Beware this may sound weird..

 

Maybe if you guys try some new things, it will help him get an erection. If not there is always self pleasure, I've never tried any of the "things" they come up with for women, but they seem like they can be pretty pleasurable. PLUS, it is the best alternative instead of cheating. & If I were in your situation I would try anything before cheating.

 

I hope this helps some.

In times like this, change is the key

Best of luck to you.

[No Limit]

Grab your husband, throw him into the car and get to the next sex therapist as quickly as possible. And if that doesn't do the trick, divorce rather than cheat. If you cheat, he finds out and you give him his lack of ability as reasoning... well, manhood and self-esteem crushed right there.

[something borrowed]

I really don't want to get involved with another man. My husband has no desire for any intimacy. We have toys for us both. I can't remember the last time we have had a real kiss. He gets mad if I want to talk about it. It has took a toll on my own self confidence. Last night he called me , let's just say a bad name and said he feels inadequate. .well after 2 years I feel the same. .I can't fix his problem, and I am tired of it being about his feelings. I have feelings to. I probably sound mean but for 2 years I have tried to be understanding. .heck he could do me. .I would take once a month

[Coe]

Leave him, if he really cares that much he will do anything to get you back, which means going to the doctor to get help or at least talking to you about it. Otherwise your marriage is just a sham.

[BuckleShuffle]

You have three options:

 

1) Get him treated medically and carry on-wards.

 

2) Talk to him that you're frustrated to the point you are thinking about other men. Honesty and communication is so important.

 

3) Discuss possibilities of an open relationship

 

I know it's soo much easier to take the backdoor for a quickie, but trust me and I'm sure you know this. you.will.regret.it. trust me, if anything threaten him with divorce if you have to. But please don't cheat, that's going to cause a world of hurt.

[jbrent890]

If your husband isn't doing anything to fix the problem, then you have another option, leave the marriage. If you are asking is cheating worth? Do yourself a favor a read the infedility forum. You will see that people have destroyed their lives by cheating. So to answer your question, no, cheating is not worth it. Give your husband the option either work on his problems or the marriage is over.

[Haerts]

Cheating is never a good choice. If things aren't working for you, then get out of your relationship.

 

And well... it seems like he's not even trying. Seriously, I would understand if a man is starting to have erection problems... but not even a real kiss? And really, would you be satisfied with once a month? Come on, you want and deserve more than that. While I can understand it's frustrating to try an entirely new relationship with someone else, think that in the long term it might be a lot better for you. Don't settle for anything less than what you want, need or deserve.

 

Talk to him, try to find a way to make it work for you both and if it doesn't, then get out of it.