Called Wedding Off with my Ex

[Supernaught16]

My ex and I were supposed to get married in a few months.

 

Due to a few factors I dumped her.

 

1) She drinks a bottle of wine or tequila everyday or at least every other day.

2)She smokes weed everyday. This is more important to her than having food in our fridge or her looking for a job or education or getting her license back after two DUI's. In fact, this rules her life. There is nothing outside of weed, until after she smokes. And even when she does something else, that something else is very unproductive and she needs to smoke weed.

3)Everything needs to be something pleasurable. No work, no school, no cleaning the house... It needs to be, go to the beach, go to concerts, go steal something, anything for a "Thrill."

4) She is uneducated. High school drop out, cant hold a conversation. If she has gotten into a conversation and she doesn't know how to keep up she keeps up by speaking over everybody and just starts screaming and yelling complete nonsense or the complete opposite, she will just sit there and agree which isn't cool. Because now she's is making agreements with her lies and making agreements with stuff she doesn't even understand.

5)Drama drama drama. Loves it.

6)She is mentally ill. Beside substance abuse, Bipolar and several personalit disorder and has PTSD and anxiety.

7) I have been to rehab twice and I dont drink or smoke anymore so I cant live a life where I am paying the rent, going to work and going to school and accomplishing my goals to give a woman a place to live away from her parents house where she can get high and stay drunk without her parents breathing down her neck and not caring about my health and my sobriety. She already has two DUI's, you would think she would be more concerned with getting her license back.

8)She needs everything now now now now. I had an internship and she didn't get it. Just because I wasnt getting paid (getting college credit) she thought I wasn't "man" enough and started calling me a faggot and all of this, in my house where I m paying all of the bills and accomplishing my goals in life while shes just smoking and drinking her life away.

9)She would get jealous at the few accomplishments I did manage to make while we were together. But every time I got a job she would get jealous and paranoid (mentally ill) and call my boss and accuse his wife of having an affair with me. This resulted in me spending more time looking for a new job then actually working and being homeless for eight months last year and her family wouldnt take me in.

 

I was just getting no where in life.

 

Im turning 29 so I cant have this or afford to lose my place or job, further goals in life etc.

 

All Im ranting about is. I didn't realize how sick she was until we moved in together. Then **** got at least 4x worse after we moved in together.

 

When I was using and drinking and had no responsibilities and she lived with her parents and I lived with my parents, when we were younger, thats when we got engaged everything was fine. But I wasn't with her at the homestead. I wasnt at home with her and saw hwo she behaved at home and everything. It was probably easy for her to just put on a front when she was having an episode, we bot smoke a blunt and drink bottles of patron and then when she acted crazy I would be like, oohhh she had to much to drink.

 

but no. that was not the case.

 

Anyways. We were due to get married in a couple of months but I called it off.

 

I know she is going out with a couple of other guys now, one of which is my sisters client.

 

So I do think about her a lot and I do love the person I loved in the past.

 

I would like to move on. I would also like a relationship with my sister and not have Sancho in my life.

 

Talk to me.

[FooledMeTwice]

There are tons of good women out there, don't wasted another precious minute of your time on that low life!

[d0nnivain]

Re-read your post when you are feeling weak about her. She's a train wreck & you are absolutely correct that she'd suck the life out of you in no time.

 

 

How is your relationship with your sister? Can you ask her nicely not to talk to about your EX & not bring her around?

 

 

Good for you, btw, for getting your own act together.

[M30USA]

Honestly, of all your listed points, number 8 would concern me the most.

[No Limit]

Dodged a big bullet there. Good luck in the next relationship. Take your time about who you date, it doesn't have to be every addict and hooker there is.

[M30USA]

Dodged a big bullet there. Good luck in the next relationship. Take your time about who you date, it doesn't have to be every addict and hooker there is.

 

You should listen to this advice. Otherwise you'll wind up like Moses, who was forced to spend the rest of his life on the plateau as he watched the Israelites enter the promised land--but he couldn't enter himself. Some mistakes will cost us permanently. Marrying an abusive person, and especially having children with them, is one of those mistakes. Good luck.

[oldshirt]

Is this the same gal that was cheating on you and she was still calling him after supposedly going NC?

 

why wasn't that in the list of valid reasons to avoid her like the plague.

 

You should not only dump this gal but get a restraining order to keep her more than 500 ft away at all times.

[GirlStillStrong]

That girl is a blessing in disguise! You got to see firsthand what it's like to be clean n sober and dealing with an alcoholic addict. It's more ammunition for yourself to keep yourself from relapsing. You don't want to be like that, do you?

 

I'm glad you've called it off. Now the trick is to stay away from her and keep her out of your life. Best to keep all your old partners in crime out of your life. Time to clean house. I did it. Left home, never looked back. Those people were history. Finished my degree, have my own place, have a completely different life, and will never go back there. I'm a completely different person now than I was then. I don't miss any of them, nor any of the drama and dysfunction that goes along with people who party. Let me tell you, if they don't stop, they don't stop. Left that life in my 20s and now we are coming up on our 50s and ALL those people are still back there, doing the same exact stuff, partying a minimum of 5 nights a week. You don't have room in your life for that anymore; you've turned over a new leaf. Time to make new friends. Friends who think like you do, and have the same goals and values that you do. She doesn't.

 

As for Sancho, he will be gone soon enough. Just give it some time; more will be revealed.