breakup out of nowhere

[chados]

for almost 3 years ive been dating this girl. long distance relationship on another continent. it sounds really bad i know but we actually saw each other probably at least 9 months/year.

 

she was crazy about me. everyone talked about how much she loved me and couldnt stop thinking about me while i was back at home. this is one of those, i could never see it coming.

 

she decided to finish her studies in another country close to mine. so instead of 10 hour flight i now had 2 hours which would make things easier. i could feel before it happened that even if im not a jealous guy i dont want her to live in a studenthome with 13 people living there. it didnt feel right that she started spending time with people ive never met and enjoyed her new life more then she did back home.

 

i didnt like that she was out drinking, that she stopped caring about telling me certain things. she went on a trip with some people and she planned it on a monday and told me on wednesday. its not always about whats right and whats not. more about, can i trust her when she doesnt listen when im telling her it makes me feel bad?.

 

 

i know i pushed her and wanted more time with her then normally cause of the situation. i do regret some things. maybe i should have let her go out and have fun but at the same time it was hurting me. she had so much to study and when she had time off she was spending to much time with others. i just wanted her to call me up once in a while instead of me having to tell her to make time for me.

 

the breakup came out of nowhere. she was supersweet the day before and she started to act really weird while texting the next day, so of course i asked why are you acting like this? she said she might make a huge mistake and **** her life up in some way. i called her and she was saying things like, "now" we are together, we can talk more tonight, while crying her eyes out.

 

i had to wait 7 hours for her to get back home, and while texting i asked her, so are there going to be any big news tonight?, she said no. i told her if you are breaking up with me do it now.. no im not doing that...were gonna find a solution tonight..

 

 

so everything she said was that. yes its bad but its not a breakup... on skype later that night she started by saying. i need some time alone right now. i asked, is this a breakup or not? i dont know she said.. i told her well if you cant answer me im going to say its over, she said ARE YOU SERIOUS?. yes im serious, since you cant answer me.. i asked her again, is this a break or a breakup?, she said.. isnt that the same thing?. no .. so its over? i guess she said..

 

 

she said things like. maybe i just need some time alone. i still love you though. can i still talk to you?. i said no.. however stupid as i am i contacted her and told her to come her for christmas. she said she'll think about it. what happened after this was that i couldnt wait and i got to know by people around her that she planned going on a trip for christmas. but didnt seem like she planned to come here. i of course didnt tell her i knew about this but simply that im not sure shes going to tell me if shes not coming. and ill sit here and wait without hearing from her ever again.

 

 

she now didnt want to talk at all. said she needed time, its only been a little more then a week etc etc. i said. i want you to be happy and i love you but i have to let you go. she never said its over, last text which i didnt reply to was. i still feel some pressure from you to answer right away. she stayed up for an hour waiting for me to text her back which i didnt.

 

 

its like she doesnt want to talk to me, she doesnt want me to leave. theres no help i just wanted to share my story with you people