Into someone who has a GF.. Feel terrible

[kansub]

I have been in this forum last year for my ex who left me for someone else... But today, the situation is completely reversed.

 

So after my break-up, I took a long break from dating etc and was enjoying my single life by loving myself and feeling happy about everything I do. So 3 months back, I met this guy, Mr. R thro' a friend but it was a casual meet. We used to meet during common parties and discovered some shared interests / activities. So 2 months back, we started to hang out together and do sports together, he informed me about his GF and issues he had with her last 2 yrs. They are in relship for last 4 years and now in long distance.

 

I must say, we got along very well and were good friends. So One day after dinner, he initiated to be close with me (by all means), while I resisted few times, eventually we got together.. Well, in relship world, its called 'dating' but here I don't even dare to use the word dating since he is in relship with someone else.

 

I always felt/ feel terrible and guilty about this. We talked about it and he told me, he does not want me to be the reason when he breaks up with his gf and so he wanted sometime off without me to decide what he wants...But for some reason, we both are not strong enough to do the walk-away. We almost text each other everyday, meet atleast once in 2 days.. He mentioned me he has strong feelings for me and I make him feel confident and he is happy with me etc etc etc

 

But he is super scared to talk to his GF when she gets angry if he didnt talk to her regularly etc. Initially, I thought since that relship is not going well, it might work out between me and him. But even after 2 months, he says he needs time and he has to think thro' before initiating the break-up.

 

Ironically, I told him, its better he work on the other relship because its been long and they are used to each other and I walk away. But for some reason, when we meet during sports or other activities, we get involved again. He admits he is weak

 

Today, I got a strong sense that he is not going to break up with her. If he wanted to break up, he got zillion opportunities because most times she is getting on his nerves and i have never seen him talking about good times with her. Irrespective of all this, if he still needs time to decide, I have a feeling its tough for him to make the decision. When asked, he says "lets just go with the flow".. I swear I am not of those bitchy girls who tries to steal someone else BF but this time (first time ever) so happened and I am not strong to make a decision to walk away. I feel sad/ ashamed because in the past, I have been the victim when my ex left me for someone else.

 

Will he never make a decision to leave her ? I have a feeling I deserve much better and I am worth more than "the other girl" or "second girl" or "someone who stole him"... I just feel terrible and can't believe not able to make a strong decision. Any thoughts ?? ..What should I do right now ??

[Keke1]

Chances are high you're going to get done the same way. Just don't cry and act out when it does

[Darren Steez]

I have been in this forum last year for my ex who left me for someone else... But today, the situation is completely reversed.

 

So after my break-up, I took a long break from dating etc and was enjoying my single life by loving myself and feeling happy about everything I do. So 3 months back, I met this guy, Mr. R thro' a friend but it was a casual meet. We used to meet during common parties and discovered some shared interests / activities. So 2 months back, we started to hang out together and do sports together, he informed me about his GF and issues he had with her last 2 yrs. They are in relship for last 4 years and now in long distance.

 

I must say, we got along very well and were good friends. So One day after dinner, he initiated to be close with me (by all means), while I resisted few times, eventually we got together.. Well, in relship world, its called 'dating' but here I don't even dare to use the word dating since he is in relship with someone else.

 

I always felt/ feel terrible and guilty about this. We talked about it and he told me, he does not want me to be the reason when he breaks up with his gf and so he wanted sometime off without me to decide what he wants...But for some reason, we both are not strong enough to do the walk-away. We almost text each other everyday, meet atleast once in 2 days.. He mentioned me he has strong feelings for me and I make him feel confident and he is happy with me etc etc etc

 

But he is super scared to talk to his GF when she gets angry if he didnt talk to her regularly etc. Initially, I thought since that relship is not going well, it might work out between me and him. But even after 2 months, he says he needs time and he has to think thro' before initiating the break-up.

 

Ironically, I told him, its better he work on the other relship because its been long and they are used to each other and I walk away. But for some reason, when we meet during sports or other activities, we get involved again. He admits he is weak

 

Today, I got a strong sense that he is not going to break up with her. If he wanted to break up, he got zillion opportunities because most times she is getting on his nerves and i have never seen him talking about good times with her. Irrespective of all this, if he still needs time to decide, I have a feeling its tough for him to make the decision. When asked, he says "lets just go with the flow".. I swear I am not of those bitchy girls who tries to steal someone else BF but this time (first time ever) so happened and I am not strong to make a decision to walk away. I feel sad/ ashamed because in the past, I have been the victim when my ex left me for someone else.

 

Will he never make a decision to leave her ? I have a feeling I deserve much better and I am worth more than "the other girl" or "second girl" or "someone who stole him"... I just feel terrible and can't believe not able to make a strong decision. Any thoughts ?? ..What should I do right now ??

 

If he can with cheat you then he can also cheat on you.

 

Remember the heartache and pain you went through when your ex left for someone else? Isn't this exactly what you're doing to this other girl?

 

You know what you have to do, try to date someone without a girlfriend.

 

It's really very simple.

[Cedar27]

If he's willing to cheat on his current girl with you, he will be willing to cheat on you too. Get out of this now and find a person that respects you enough to dump you rather than keep you in the dark while he sticks his junk in someone else. Because that will be what happens if you get into a relationship with, i'm 99% sure of that.

[No Limit]

Get your self-esteem fixed.

 

And don't try to hide behind "Ohh we are just too weak to do it". You two just don't want to end it because you feel you'll never get caught.

 

You're the guys cake. And he wants to eat it, so why should he ever talk to his GF about it? As long as you play along everything is fine. And even if you some months later finally end it with him, he'll probably find another girl as eager to be his cake.

 

You indeed are not "one of those bitchy girls stealing boyfriends", you are just the type that bastard-boyfriends like to use for their own pleasure.

[smackie9]

Never believe what they tell you about how bad their relationship is. Most project it being worse than it really it is to justify their contact with you. If it truly was as bad as he says he would just end it, but the truth of the matter is, is that he still loves her.

 

He already projects himself as being unfaithful, can't be trusted and is weak. This screams immaturity, procrastinator, and lacks the ability to communicate. He would make a lousy BF. Stay away from him, you can do way better than this!