Don't know what to do.......always been a cheater

[diannelks]

Is it just me, or do women tend to be most loyal to guys that are more of a jerk, and least loyal to guys who are (gasp!) "nice"?

 

Could it be that many of the women who cheated are their own worst enemies?

[diannelks]

I know that this must sound weird but its the truth.... I don't feel sorry for what I did and am doing now. Don't understand why I posted this post in the first place.

[TMCM]

Originally posted by diannelks

Is it just me, or do women tend to be most loyal to guys that are more of a jerk, and least loyal to guys who are (gasp!) "nice"?

 

Could it be that many of the women who cheated are their own worst enemies?

 

Yes. Ultimately your greatest betrayal is not against your H but against yourself.

 

As the two previous posters said, you are not just risking your marriage but your career as well if any of your lovers decides to report you.

 

I know that this must sound weird but its the truth.... I don't feel sorry for what I did and am doing now. Don't understand why I posted this post in the first place.

 

Of course you don't otherwise you'd probably go into a severe depression and just possibly want to end your life. But in order to experience this you'd first have to grow a conscience.

 

But be that as it may, your H does deserve to know who he married so he can make the choice of either chosing to stay or leaving. At least that way, you can continue to screw other men without hiding it from your H.

 

TMCM

[scarlyjones]

Holy sheep-sh*t..............control yourself. My God. Did it ever occur to you that you're a sex addict? You gotta nail everything that moves!! I bet when you go into a petstore, the fish stop swimming. You need to think of your husband,.....and your child,.....and stop being so damn selfish and immature. IMMATURE. That is the keyword here. You dont GET everything you WANT, Cinderella. And on a side note. Maybe if you went back to school, you'd have more self esteem. You can barely type in plain English. QUOTE: "because he DONT really care...."

[diannelks]

Feel very depress today...... I just realised that MM really is suffering being with me. A friend of both of us told me that he has been on anti-depressant for about a year. He always make sure that he honor his word and try to please me all the time. I made him promised me a lot of things and he honored everything.

 

I know it will be hard for him to forget me. His first love took him almost 10 years for him to get over. When he love someone............he really love them.

 

We are no longer together anymore but yet he still deposit money into my account. Everytime I see him I can see his anguish in his eyes. I made him promise not to pursue me anymore but to still love me always. He gave me a look of disbelieve but later agrees.

 

Can't believe I can do such a thing to another human being... Can't believe I can do such a thing to a person who actually matters to my life. I don't feel guilt today for my H. His driving iritated me today.

[reservoirdog1]

You've said that you don't feel any guilt for massively betraying your husband, and that he irritates you. You clearly don't give a rat's ass about him and don't want to be with him.

 

The problem is, not only are you selfish, but you're also a coward. Grow some guts, tell your husband you want a divorce, and leave. Let him start rebuilding his life without you in it. You owe him fidelity and honesty, but if you're not going to give him those, then at least have enough respect for him as a fellow human being -- forget "as your husband" -- to give him the gift of freedom, so that he can find someone better.

 

Why you're still with somebody you clearly don't like and who irritates you is beyond me.

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by diannelks

Feel very depress today...... I just realised that MM really is suffering being with me. A friend of both of us told me that he has been on anti-depressant for about a year. He always make sure that he honor his word and try to please me all the time. I made him promised me a lot of things and he honored everything.

 

I know it will be hard for him to forget me. His first love took him almost 10 years for him to get over. When he love someone............he really love them.

 

We are no longer together anymore but yet he still deposit money into my account. Everytime I see him I can see his anguish in his eyes. I made him promise not to pursue me anymore but to still love me always. He gave me a look of disbelieve but later agrees.

 

Can't believe I can do such a thing to another human being... Can't believe I can do such a thing to a person who actually matters to my life. I don't feel guilt today for my H. His driving iritated me today.

 

Then DIVORCE YOUR HUSBAND. He doesn't deserve somebody like you in his life. What you're doing is a real s***ty thing and you need some professional help.

 

Give back that $$ the OM is depositing into your bank account. There is NO need for you to take his money.

 

Again, get some help, you need it so you can fix yourself.

[bstill]

I don't konw you, but when a woman feels compelled to say "I'm very independent" but a few paragraphs later also says "I flirt alot," i think that she needs to keep reminding herself what a strong modern independent women she is because nothing could be further from the truth. A strong independent woman doesn't run around on her husband and family. You are an incredible coward, and the best thing for you and your family is to own up towhat you are doing and accept that you will never havethat life you shared with your husband and daughter again. Your husband trusted you enough to give you a lot space, and you did something unforgivable to him over and over again.

[reservoirdog1]

Give back that $$ the OM is depositing into your bank account. There is NO need for you to take his money.

 

I'd totally glossed over that fact.

 

Can't remember who said it first, but there's the old joke:

 

Man: Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?

Woman: (thinks for a few seconds) Yes.

Man: Would you sleep with me for a hundred dollars?

Woman: Of course not! What do you think I am?

Man: We've already established what you are. Now we're just haggling over the price.

[diannelks]

It just dawn to me.... what a bastard MM is. He pretended to be the kind, generous man so that he could woo me. I knew its too good to be true. If he is genuine, he would have insisted on taking me no matter what instead of agreeing to me....or maybe he is just not man enough. I don't like weak man...why am I with him this long... Well, with a little peseverence, I'll see his true colors soon.

 

I know I should but I don't think I will not return the money. It's a gift and besides I used up most of it... and I can't pay him anyway...and I know he doesn't care too. I have told him a long time ago that I don't want to feel obligated to him and his money must not be conditional. I am not manipulative about this.....he's the one who wants to give me. He's the one who said that his love is unconditional and he don't expect anything from me. Its sweet but its also stupid of him to have said those statements.

 

Anyway, from now on, he is history. The nerve of him to call me an insensitive narcissist person. I just erased his phone number on my cellphone. I erased his number a few times when we had arguments, but this time it is a real decision.

 

I always have been a good mother. From now on I will be a good wife to my H too. As long as he continue loving and taking care of me and not expecting anything, then he will get the same from me. Heck, I will be his slave if he wants it. Of course if he really wants me, he should not ask anything from me. Afterall, what is more important is ourselves.

[Grinning Maniac]

Talk is cheap. If you're so sincere..prove it.

 

Let your husband live his life without your drama to eventually rot him inside. You owe him that much at least. If nothing more, at least come clean so he can decide if he wants to even wants to stay. It would be a rare unselfish act from what I can see.

 

Also, yes...you need to get some help.

[Guest]

What a heart-breaking display of the ugliness of mental illness. I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone.

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by diannelks

It just dawn to me.... what a bastard MM is. He pretended to be the kind, generous man so that he could woo me. I knew its too good to be true. If he is genuine, he would have insisted on taking me no matter what instead of agreeing to me....or maybe he is just not man enough. I don't like weak man...why am I with him this long... Well, with a little peseverence, I'll see his true colors soon.

 

I know I should but I don't think I will not return the money. It's a gift and besides I used up most of it... and I can't pay him anyway...and I know he doesn't care too. I have told him a long time ago that I don't want to feel obligated to him and his money must not be conditional. I am not manipulative about this.....he's the one who wants to give me. He's the one who said that his love is unconditional and he don't expect anything from me. Its sweet but its also stupid of him to have said those statements.

 

Anyway, from now on, he is history. The nerve of him to call me an insensitive narcissist person. I just erased his phone number on my cellphone. I erased his number a few times when we had arguments, but this time it is a real decision.

 

I always have been a good mother. From now on I will be a good wife to my H too. As long as he continue loving and taking care of me and not expecting anything, then he will get the same from me. Heck, I will be his slave if he wants it. Of course if he really wants me, he should not ask anything from me. Afterall, what is more important is ourselves.

 

Just don't get how you could PAINT HIM as a bad person when you've said all along that you don't feel guilty for cheating and hurting your husband....It's like you put this MM on a pedistool, thought his s*** didn't stink and he was really open and honest....HELLOOOOO??? Don't you see something is waaaay off here? BOTH of you are cheating! Why should you expect pure honesty and respect from this man? Just as he shouldn't expect it from you?

 

I think you BOTH have narcissistic traits! Really read some of the posts and comments you yourself have made.

 

GOOD that you dumped him, now concentrate on your life. Fixing yourself, going to councilling - COME clean with your husband, work yer butt off to make it up to him. I bet he knows something isn't right and he probably won't be surprised about your affair.

 

Not doubting you, I'm sure you're a good mom. But you have not been a good wife. You have the chance to become a good wife SO DO IT. As the previous poster said, prove it. Not to us, TO yourself and to your husband and to your kids. They deserve it!

[melina]

do you think your husband really loves you?

[diannelks]

Hmm.. I just have to say this.... I mean how am I suppose to just have the same man my whole life? Time changes everything. It might not be okay now..but it might be okay in the future. During medieval times a woman will probably get herself stoned to death for talking to a man other than her husband and as recent as 100 years ago, a woman can't even flirt with a man who is not her husband. Most men at that time don't even allow their wives expose their body by wearing skimpy clothing or swimwear....it was UNTHINKABLE.

 

Come on... it may be a big taboo in this era but this whole infidelity thing could inspire and shape future society and who knows.......this whole infidelity(which is also UNTHINKABLE) bashing issue could a prime example of the prejudice and discrimination practiced at our time against TRUE sexual independence. If it is so, I am glad to a part of it. Who's to say what I am doing is wrong when it could be an accepted social norm in the future. Sorry for being mentally progressive!

[Ladyjane14]

Originally posted by diannelks

Sorry for being mentally progressive!

 

Huh?

 

Your vows in the sacrament of marriage must've been VERY different than the ones I made. I don't remember having any loopholes in mine that allowed for f*cking other men on the grounds of "being mentally progressive".

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

You know, people have all sorts of relationships which they define as marriage....and not all of them are the same.

 

In making the marriage contract with someone else, it would stand to reason that BOTH people would make their vows with the clear understanding of the other person's postition. In other words, if for example two people should come into agreement regarding an "open marriage" arrangement, that would be their particular "contract" with one another.

 

If two people made the same vows, and one renegs on their contractual agreement......that would be cheating. Not permitted in the business world, why should it be okay in one's personal life?

 

The "monagamy is against nature" defense doesn't wash. Believe me, it's been done to death. And the reason "that dog don't hunt" is that nobody has a gun to your head making you stay in the marriage.

[reservoirdog1]

"Mentally progressive"? Puh-leeze. Your entire post is about trying to justify what you've done.

 

You may very well be right about the death of monogamy as an expected standard. The day may come when infidelity isn't an issue because it's expected that people will f*ck whoever they want, even in marriage.

 

But that's completely irrelevant. You may be happy with that idea. But I doubt your husband is, especially when he swore the same vows you did. Freely and of your own volition, you accepted into your life the stipulation that you would only be with him. Nobody had a gun to your head. Talking with your partner about trying to change the rules after marriage is one thing. Pretending that the rules never existed or that you didn't mean it when you pledged to be bound by them is kindergarten logic.

 

If you want to play by different rules, divorce your husband. Otherwise, please spare us the flimsy justifications -- it's pathetic.

[Guest]

Originally posted by reservoirdog1

"Mentally progressive"? Puh-leeze. Your entire post is about trying to justify what you've done.

 

You may very well be right about the death of monogamy as an expected standard. The day may come when infidelity isn't an issue because it's expected that people will f*ck whoever they want, even in marriage.

This is all so delusional~! Female Infidelity will always be important as long as the parentage of children is important~! I don't see this becoming a non-issue anytime soon.

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by diannelks

Hmm.. I just have to say this.... I mean how am I suppose to just have the same man my whole life? Time changes everything. It might not be okay now..but it might be okay in the future. During medieval times a woman will probably get herself stoned to death for talking to a man other than her husband and as recent as 100 years ago, a woman can't even flirt with a man who is not her husband. Most men at that time don't even allow their wives expose their body by wearing skimpy clothing or swimwear....it was UNTHINKABLE.

 

Come on... it may be a big taboo in this era but this whole infidelity thing could inspire and shape future society and who knows.......this whole infidelity(which is also UNTHINKABLE) bashing issue could a prime example of the prejudice and discrimination practiced at our time against TRUE sexual independence. If it is so, I am glad to a part of it. Who's to say what I am doing is wrong when it could be an accepted social norm in the future. Sorry for being mentally progressive!

 

ARE YOU FOR REAL???? YOU should NOT have gotten married then! Move somewhere where that kind of lifestyle is totally acceptable.

 

What kind of morals do you actually have? I feel real bad for your kids. Wow, I'm done with posting on your thread. You just don't get it and I highly doubt you will.

[MiChick43]

I dont remember reading anywhere if you have any children or not. If you dont,.....consider NOT breeding.

[MiChick43]

Thats right you have a dtr. Sorry. Ever consider the fact that, even if she isnt aware now, she may be in the future. Seeing her mother act as if she has no self respect will only rub off on her.