need some perspective

[chados]

so ive been trying to not really talk about this to much. cause of my own experience i know that talking rarely make things better in the long run when trying to move on. it becomes a struggle because you refuse to let go.

 

 

out of the blue she broke up with me, she's having crisis and she's extremly confused. to be honest i could never imagine that she would do this. the strange thing is that i almost didnt feel any pain. i think we needed this break in a way. its a long distance relationship and its been tough lately since she moved to a new place. i dont know the people shes hanging with. maybe i got a little insecure which ive never been before. i also think that i didnt feel pain because comparing to older relationships when i knew it was over, i always felt shes gonna come back.

 

well we planned on seeing each other for christmas. she told me she would think about it. after a while she started planning things with her brother. and i got to know about this.. i never told her but i brought up that i want to know if theres no chance on getting back together you tell me now so i know we wont meet up for christmas.

 

all she said was she needed time, she hasnt been away from me that long etc. i simply answered i have to let you go now. she told me things like im not telling you to wait i need my time. i told her once again im letting you go. she said what do you mean exactly? like she didnt get it?

 

i said, i love you and i want you to be happy with or without me, but now i need to let you go. now i think it hit her, she waited almost 15 minutes and replies i still think youre pressuring me to make a decision right away.

 

this time i didnt reply and she waited over an hour for me to do so before going to bed. this was about 4-5 days ago. she's been enjoying her new life, partying and hanging with new people at this new place. shes now been having horrible sleeping problems the last few days and skipped going out with her friends yesterday.

 

 

i almost have no doubt she will come back. and its not because im in desperate need to get back with her. im completely fine so telling me to move on with my life, well i already am.. however if she would tell me, im coming for christmas. then what the heck am i supposed to do?

 

i have to really think about how im dealing with this situation so any advice would be appreciated.

[chados]

anyone?...

[KBarletta]

i said, i love you and i want you to be happy with or without me, but now i need to let you go.

 

That's a pretty clear message to send, which is good. She knows how you feel, now you have to leave it up to her and give her the time and space to decide what she wants.

 

If she contacts you and wants to get together at Christmas, my advice would be to try to find out exactly what her intentions are in that situation: Does she want you back, want you as a friend, or just want to avoid being lonely for the holidays only to kick you aside later on?

 

I would recommend spending the next month with NC, try just focusing on your own life and leave her to do the same with hers. If she wants to come back to you, she will contact you.

[chados]

That's a pretty clear message to send, which is good. She knows how you feel, now you have to leave it up to her and give her the time and space to decide what she wants.

 

If she contacts you and wants to get together at Christmas, my advice would be to try to find out exactly what her intentions are in that situation: Does she want you back, want you as a friend, or just want to avoid being lonely for the holidays only to kick you aside later on?

 

I would recommend spending the next month with NC, try just focusing on your own life and leave her to do the same with hers. If she wants to come back to you, she will contact you.

 

 

yeah. she took two shots called depo-provera. i noticed a change in her behaviour. temperament, depression, anxiety. i read about it more now and it seems to be extremly bad for some people. especially for her since she always reacted really bad with these birth control things.

 

 

she never raised her voice to me. one day while drunk and maybe two days after the second shot she got insane. then depression came. i had to deal with this for months.. she had a period every week and started to show no interest in me yet she said every day she loved me. i know its stupid to speculate but after reading more about it i understand how bad it really is for some. of course now i started to feel insecure about her and she could feel that too.