She never initiates texts. But very responsive when I text her.

[drewdude]

Hello LS. I met a girl off OKC a little over a month ago. We already went out a few times. We get along great, have so much in common, etc. Thing is, she NEVER initiates any form of communication. When I do initiate, she responds quite quickly, always shows interest/ask questions/suggesting place we should go and the texts go on for quite some time. Thing is, after we go out. I never hear nothing. In fact, I waited to see if she would text me and its been day 7 with no contact. Should I just cut my losses and go? Or check up on her again? (previous time was 5 days before I initiated)

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind continuing to initiate but I don't even get a bone thrown at me, ya know? This is the only girl in which something like this has happened to me. To me, it feels like a lack of interest for me on her part and its really annoying. It's kind of like a dumb game.

 

I really hope this isn't no stupid "chase" thing. Seriously, I am good looking, have a lot going for me, great job, etc. I feel I have a lot to offer a good woman, but this lack of her initiating is a total dealbreaker for me. Any advice on what I should do?

Edited November 24, 2014 by drewdude

[HazyCosmicJive]

I think you should give it more time. It sounds like she's interested, but she may be very passive or just not as chatty as you are when it comes to texting. I tend to be pretty chatty in writing, which is the complete opposite of how I am in person. I find that most of the people I text, men and women, don't respond or initiate as much as I expect them to. I think some people just procrastinate or don't know how to get things started. This might just be a minor annoyance you'll have to put up with if you really like her.

[Blakely]

Being that its only been a month, met online, and y'all have gone almost 2 weeks total of not talking already, I think you should give it more time. You shouldn't take it personal. A lot of woman like the man to lead the first couple of months esp if they see potential in the guy (I'm very guilty of this ).

 

Why don't you drop a few hints to let her know you'd like to hear from her more.

She may not want to show too much interest because that's how woman have been conditioned! I'm working on learning that its okay to show a man I'm interested and not seem 'desperate'. Maybe it's a sign of me maturing, lol. How old is this woman?

[drewdude]

Being that its only been a month, met online, and y'all have gone almost 2 weeks total of not talking already, I think you should give it more time. You shouldn't take it personal. A lot of woman like the man to lead the first couple of months esp if they see potential in the guy (I'm very guilty of this ).

 

Why don't you drop a few hints to let her know you'd like to hear from her more.

She may not want to show too much interest because that's how woman have been conditioned! I'm working on learning that its okay to show a man I'm interested and not seem 'desperate'. Maybe it's a sign of me maturing, lol. How old is this woman?

 

I was thinking of doing so. But its just not even a hello from her is what puts me back. Makes me feel like there is no interest. Maybe I'll give it another day and send her a picture of some cool things we have in common. I do like what shes all about. I had a lot of bad women in my life. A lot with no motivation, broken homes, etc. This is the first girl that actually has a complete family. I am 30, she is 26

[Frank2thepoint]

A month of knowing each other and a few dates, yet she never reaches out to you, sounds really weird. Have you spoken to her about it? It wouldn't hurt to have some dialog between you two. My suggestion, do it in person, or at least talk over the phone, not through text.

[bathtub-row]

I think you should let her know that you'd like to hear from her every now and then, and in particular, that it makes you think she isn't interested in you. A lot of guys get jerky or pull away whenever a woman initiates contact, especially early into the relationship, so she may feel conflicted about it. Not to say she's playing a game; she may actually be concerned about pushing you away. The fact that she's responsive when she hears from you is a sign that she cares about you. On the other hand, she may not want you to get into the habit of texting her over calling her or seeing her in person. Texting too much, too soon, isn't necessarily a great way to start things out.

[losangelena]

She is probably wondering why you dropped off the face of the earth after not contacting her for seven days. Seriously, women freak out about this; many of us believe that the man should initiate, especially early-on (y'all are still "early on").

 

I would say what everyone else is saying—tell her you'd like for her to initiate sometimes. It's the fastest way to figure out what's going on. She could honestly have no idea that's what you're waiting for.

[venusishername]

So you've already been out a couple times. Hmm.

My guess is she's not 100% feeling it.

However, if you'd like to gauge her interest and prompt a change, I would suggest making a telephone call to her and ask her out. Women do like to be pursued.. we are conditioned to not initiate contact with men because we are afraid we'll look desperate or needy.

If it doesn't go anywhere or she waffles and is indecisive in response to your invitation, I'd tell her to contact you when she's available. I'd give it one more shot and move along.

As much as we try not to initiate out of fear of appearing desperate or needy, a really interested woman would swallow her pride and do it anyway. (At least I would).

[wwejonathan]

Hello LS. I met a girl off OKC a little over a month ago. We already went out a few times. We get along great, have so much in common, etc.

What kind of date did you go on? Did you make an effort to really get to know her? There is a list of 'basic facts' that girl has to know you in order to feel connections with you. which are, name, job, hobby, family, friends,past relationship...etc Good rule of thumb is you have to share each topic with a few in depth details and you have to lead her to open up that she also give a few details to each of the basic fact. its important because the number 1 mistake that man get a cold respond text message is from not having a good in person interaction that cause a connection. She have to feel connection with you to open up

 

Thing is, she NEVER initiates any form of communication. When I do initiate, she responds quite quickly, always shows interest/ask questions/suggesting place we should go and the texts go on for quite some time. Thing is, after we go out. I never hear nothing. In fact, I waited to see if she would text me and its been day 7 with no contact. Should I just cut my losses and go? Or check up on her again? (previous time was 5 days before I initiated)

 

If she does not initiate message, its mean she is not attracted to you as much as you think. Nothing wrong with that. It man's job to lead the interaction both in person and over the text. A good rule of thumb is do not look for green light but instead, look for absence of red light.

 

Now if you want further tighten you text message skill. Post your text-message chain transcript here and I will go through line by line with you. Your text message in general have to go through a good sequence: initial humor then get real then either go on phone or set up next date.

 

hope that help