Divorced and just began dating again

[Hope4thefuture]

So my divorce was final almost 3 months ago. I had a terrible, heartwrenching year. Went through IC, stayed busy, and after some time finally started to feel better. It has almost been 2 years since that awful day that my ex told me he was unhappy and wanted to move out. But as I type today I can say that I feel good. I am doing things on my own. I am taking care of my three boys. I am in a better place now.

 

So about a month after my divorce I started becoming friends with a guy. He is going through the same thing so we would talk and offer support to each other. After a few weeks we started to meet for coffee. Then it turned into dinner. We really enjoy seeing each other and have gone on a few dates.

 

He has kids and I do too. We both love our kids dearly. We would like to spend more time together, but our weekends don't match up. When he has his kids I don't and vice versa. I don't even know how I feel about this guy yet. I enjoy getting to know him better, but it is difficult to really get to know him because we hardly get to see each other. Do you think this relationship can possibly go anywhere if you don't have time together?

[Mr. Lucky]

Is there some reason you can't better align your time together? Custody schedules can always be adjusted...

 

Mr. Lucky

[PegNosePete]

Exactly, just talk nicely to your ex and/or his ex and see if you can swap weekends. If one of them is uncooperative or unable to swap then you can ask the other. Either permanently or on an ad hoc basis.

[dichotomy]

So my divorce was final almost 3 months ago. I had a terrible, heartwrenching year. Went through IC, stayed busy, and after some time finally started to feel better. It has almost been 2 years since that awful day that my ex told me he was unhappy and wanted to move out. But as I type today I can say that I feel good. I am doing things on my own. I am taking care of my three boys. I am in a better place now.

 

Fantastic - good for you.

 

So about a month after my divorce I started becoming friends with a guy. He is going through the same thing so we would talk and offer support to each other. After a few weeks we started to meet for coffee. Then it turned into dinner. We really enjoy seeing each other and have gone on a few dates.

 

You are pretty far (2 years) from the event, and now divorced officially, and feeling better. Where is he at with his process?

 

He has kids and I do too. We both love our kids dearly. We would like to spend more time together, but our weekends don't match up. When he has his kids I don't and vice versa.

 

As others mentioned you may try to switch custody days. You could see if family or a baby sitter could be used for a few hours on a weekend to allow more time or dates.

 

I don't even know how I feel about this guy yet. I enjoy getting to know him better, but it is difficult to really get to know him because we hardly get to see each other. Do you think this relationship can possibly go anywhere if you don't have time together?

 

Without more time - no you cant go anywhere. A problem after divorce is going into relationships without knowing the person, seeking mutual support and all this. You don't know how you feel about this guy. Personally if your not physical with him yet, I might encourage you to date others as well right now.