Are people more for companionship than love?

[LookAtThisPOst]

I was wondering, esp. with the older crowd out there and having had past marriages and such. I'm starting to think there is a trend in those wanting more companionship with love being optional or perhaps love comes at a later time due to familiarity as opposed to the "butterflies and sparks" we felt as younger people when we first found our special someone?

[Ninjainpajamas]

Generally when people are younger, they shoot for the moon...thinking anything is possible, this leads them into situations and relationships that they thought would send them to the stars.

 

But as people get older, and realize that isn't how it works or what necessarily happened....then they dull their standards down and start to develop more "realistic" expectations.

 

For many this simply means instead of having that one big perfect cake..let us accept certain slices of it here and there, and try to be happy with that.

 

As heart-break and loss occurs through life, it tends to alter most peoples perception of love is and what is important...people desire eventually some sort of stability and steady ground..that's why they may lean towards the side of companionship in relationships, or just general comfort otherwise that provides more predictability than excitement..as excitement tends to be a more risky and unnerving experience for many, and eventually loses it's charm, if it even ever had much for some to begin with.

 

Youth is pretty naive in general, so to separate youth and what love is, is a relevant factor. Most of us thought love was something else other than what they expected when we were teenagers, to our 20's and beyond...some still try to bury their face in that fantasy or hope of being able to change something they cannot.

 

Still however, at least for myself...i feel that people give it too easily, let themselves become victims too easily and wave the white flag in defeat just accepting some kind of amicable outcome, all too often to kind of "compromise" what they can "realistically" get.

 

They lose that fire and energy, not just simply holding onto something like "hope" (which to me is a feeling more out of desperation wishing for a miracle, rather than a practical way to move forward) but instead actually trying to materialize in some way how you feel and what you want in life...how often do people step back from the ledge out of fear? from changing their lives, not just in relationships.

 

So from my perspective, relationships are often just another comfort zone for many...it's often another challenge in life that many people just aren't up for the fight, or interested in having one, they just want everything to be...easy. They've got a handful of energy and motivation left in the dating world or life, and there just looking for some place to spend it...whatever that may be, hopefully it's a good "deal".

 

At 34, the only thing I've seen demonstrated in life as "love" so far...is the love for family, especially children. Other than that, it seems like everything else at some point in time is replaceable or something you can ultimately live without. And for those without children, it's probably their animals I mean, everybody's got to love something...right?

 

Love...is unreliable...maybe that's why so many people settle for companionship.

[Toodaloo]

Ninja - I haven't liked what you said because I love it.

 

I think that there are many kinds of love.

 

The one I want, the one that I am looking for, is not razzle dazzle but much quieter, I want to be able to look at someone who will be able to see when I am hurting and they will give me a look that tells me its ok. I want to be able to look at someone and feel that warm toasty feeling that only comes with acceptance of a person warts and all. I want trust, honesty and dedication. I want to be there for them as much as they are for me. To get that you have to wade through the mud and mire to get there. Its not easy, there is not quick fix.

 

Love is disposable these days. I don't consider myself to be disposable and I do not wish to regard my future partner as such either... But I am "old skool"...

[Jules Dash]

I was just contemplating this topic this morning as I was lying in bed. I reaffirmed to myself that I am satisfied with companionship rather than being in love.

[elaine567]

"Love" takes many forms. Love can be something fairly superficial like that based on pure lust or sexual attraction, or a desperate clinging attachment,

or "love" based on what he/she can do for me, ie "he has a great car and makes lots of money", or "she has a ready made family that I could just slot well into."

 

"Love" often does us no favours if we want a long committed relationship, and that is why so many like the thought of love but are smart enough to realise that

for long term successful relationships there need to be more than just "being in love" in the conventional use of the term.

[littleblackheart]

Generally when people are younger, they shoot for the moon...thinking anything is possible, this leads them into situations and relationships that they thought would send them to the stars.

 

But as people get older, and realize that isn't how it works or what necessarily happened....then they dull their standards down and start to develop more "realistic" expectations.

 

For many this simply means instead of having that one big perfect cake..let us accept certain slices of it here and there, and try to be happy with that.

 

As heart-break and loss occurs through life, it tends to alter most peoples perception of love is and what is important...people desire eventually some sort of stability and steady ground..that's why they may lean towards the side of companionship in relationships, or just general comfort otherwise that provides more predictability than excitement..as excitement tends to be a more risky and unnerving experience for many, and eventually loses it's charm, if it even ever had much for some to begin with.

 

Youth is pretty naive in general, so to separate youth and what love is, is a relevant factor. Most of us thought love was something else other than what they expected when we were teenagers, to our 20's and beyond...some still try to bury their face in that fantasy or hope of being able to change something they cannot.

 

Still however, at least for myself...i feel that people give it too easily, let themselves become victims too easily and wave the white flag in defeat just accepting some kind of amicable outcome, all too often to kind of "compromise" what they can "realistically" get.

 

They lose that fire and energy, not just simply holding onto something like "hope" (which to me is a feeling more out of desperation wishing for a miracle, rather than a practical way to move forward) but instead actually trying to materialize in some way how you feel and what you want in life...how often do people step back from the ledge out of fear? from changing their lives, not just in relationships.

 

So from my perspective, relationships are often just another comfort zone for many...it's often another challenge in life that many people just aren't up for the fight, or interested in having one, they just want everything to be...easy. They've got a handful of energy and motivation left in the dating world or life, and there just looking for some place to spend it...whatever that may be, hopefully it's a good "deal".

 

At 34, the only thing I've seen demonstrated in life as "love" so far...is the love for family, especially children. Other than that, it seems like everything else at some point in time is replaceable or something you can ultimately live without. And for those without children, it's probably their animals I mean, everybody's got to love something...right?

 

Love...is unreliable...maybe that's why so many people settle for companionship.

 

 

So thoughtfully and beautifully put...Shared completely.