wtf is going on here

[BetrayedH]

It's Monday. The weekend is over. Time for an update, OP.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Nothing yet?? They might be at the courthouse. Good luck, Op. You're gonna need it.

[ktya]

She has taken the termination drug by injection. I am looking after her. Lambast me if you want but it takes 2 to tango so I will look after her during this difficult time. The situation is pretty messed up especially the conversations we are having today but I am as honorable of a man as I can be and it is not fair to put her through this alone.

 

After this, I'm not sure. There are many unanswered questions and even more that need answering. If I dont start seeing something real pretty quick my confidence is fading fast.

 

But I cannot leave her to go through this alone. Regardless of the situation that would be just cruel. It takes 2. I know I wasnt exactly given the most accurate version of her fertility and I'm not at all happy about that. It is what it is.

[eye of the storm]

I agree that you should help her thru this. But how long does this "difficult period" last? She has already shown she has no boundaries, (moving in and stealing money)

 

You need to have a time frame in your head. And stick to it. ... or not. But if you don't, then you are getting exactly what you asked for.

[beach]

Considering that she's used you, stolen from you and most likely lied about you being the father I can't see why you need to care for her one minute longer.

 

She will turn this into days/weeks/months longer by using you even more.

 

This is your chance to break free from a con artist. Drop her off to her family and let them take care of her.

 

She's lucky you didn't call the police when she took money off your bank card. You should have called the police on her!

 

It's only your fault now because you simply won't end it.

[TigerLilly78]

I give the OP some credit this is the 1st time in many posts/threads that hes not coming off as kinda self centered and ego driven sadly I fear it might be wasted on the wrong women her taking the money with out his consent is not good at all..how much recovery dose it take from a injection to end a pregnancy? morel support can be give via distance..

[Els]

I give the OP some credit this is the 1st time in many posts/threads that hes not coming off as kinda self centered and ego driven sadly I fear it might be wasted on the wrong women her taking the money with out his consent is not good at all..how much recovery dose it take from a injection to end a pregnancy? morel support can be give via distance..

 

I agree with you for the most part, but I wouldn't really call her the 'wrong woman'. The OP chose her for a reason, and he has been choosing women like this all along. It seems like they are quite right for each other.

[ktya]

Hmm. Well now I know for sure she's full of it.

 

Yesterday she texted me while I was at work that "some information came up that she wanted to ask me about ". When I got home she said she talked to her friend about her Facebook account acting weird and the guy had some supposed hacker friend of his look into it for her.

 

Supposedly the guy found out that three IPs have been Google searching her and looking up land title searches on her and asked if it was me because this guy was going to find out who it was and "deal with them ".

 

Well bluff was definitely on the wrong guy I am a network engineer. I don't care how good of a hacker you are there's no way you can get ip to search term data out of Google.

 

I get why she would want to know that, she told me she owned half of a house in one city and another in my hometown free and clear.

 

I work in banking so the whole thing became suspect when she got broke and stayed that way... why sit around with your boyfriend that you ran broke without a place to live when you could easily setup a home equity line of credit and land on your feet in a matter of hours.

 

I was already wise to that liklihood but the search data was an obvious bluff.

 

Last night I just had to talk to someone about all of this which is damn near impossible because she is always around so I went out to see a buddy for a bit. It became this big production for her she wanted to know who I was seeing and what it was all about and wanting all these details. When I went out Friday after I got pissed off about the cash withdrawal she wanted to know everything that I said to my friend and even though I didn't say much because we were around other people she now says she doesn't want him around.

 

She keeps tripping that she is a very private person and doesn't want me to talk to other people about her or us. Given the whole situation that's impossible.

 

Every time I try to talk to this woman she tries to lecture me and interrupts. Last night she was calling me down for freaking out over her pulling the $160 out of my account without asking! I was like oh come on you know damn well that you ask first before doing something like that. Then she went on about how she is going to give me this money and how can I peak over that if she is giving me this money bla bla. Well she was going to give me this money at the beginning of November for me helping her out in October.

 

To be honest I think that the place she says was her apartment that her son took over that she can't go to was probably the previous victim who followed beaches advice - she had told me that she had all this family over filling her house do she got a hotel. Probably last guy put her up in a hotel to get her out, I can't imagine a son who just took over an apartment and us driving her car not being aok with picking her up. Any rational son in that situation would probably be wanting mom to come home and not spend week after week at some guys house.

 

I don't know how to get her out. I think she really doesn't have anywhere to go, and now she is bleeding out on an induced miscarriage. She keeps bringing it up whenever I try to get real about the money or her lack of a phone (I did some tests, it's not just that she won't give me her number its that she has no cell service it only works when connected to the wifi) to turn it around and guilt me.

 

When she gets into one of her lectures I bring up that it'd just not normal to meet someone and then stay at their house for 2 months she seems to think that it's perfectly fine and that I'm being weird for wanting space.

 

What a bloody mess. I'm thinking that she must have a personality disorder of some type because when I try to talk to her I walk away feeling like I'm the crazy one.

Edited December 2, 2014 by ktya
added detail

[beach]

Get her a$$ into your car and drop her off at her sons house now!!!

 

If she won't tell you where that is - then pay $30 to a cheap motel that's far far away from you and drop her off there.

 

 

She is a professional con. If she balks then tell her you plan to sue her if she doesn't get in the car! Call the police if needed and ask them to remove her from your property because she isn't welcome near your home. That should send her a strong message not to yank your chain.

 

 

She can go bleed at a motel room - believe me - she will be fine - con artists always are fine = they find their next victim within hours.

 

 

IF you HAD anything at home of value - you better make sure it's still there.

 

 

She sounds like a druggie.

 

And isn't it interesting that she manages to keep in contact with all these random guys while you're at work? That's no accident - she's got her backup guys lined up behind you... You know, the next victims for when you kick her out.

 

 

This situation won't change until you take the action that changes it.

Edited December 2, 2014 by beach

[ktya]

That plan won't work. I got rid of my truck because I never used it, I live across the street from a train station and work across the street from one, my commute is a quick 25 minutes to the financial district.

 

I would be loathe to get the cops involved. I have no criminal record or anything but if she lies this much what's to stop her from crying DV and blabla.

 

I have to do something.

[CarrieT]

Bring her to a homeless shelter.

 

I'm serious.

[beach]

That plan won't work. I got rid of my truck because I never used it, I live across the street from a train station and work across the street from one, my commute is a quick 25 minutes to the financial district.

 

I would be loathe to get the cops involved. I have no criminal record or anything but if she lies this much what's to stop her from crying DV and blabla.

 

I have to do something.

 

Why are you finding road blocks? Find solutions!

 

Call a cab and pay for her to go to a motel - or the homeless shelter - that's a great idea!

[Radu]

 

What a bloody mess. I'm thinking that she must have a personality disorder of some type because when I try to talk to her I walk away feeling like I'm the crazy one.

 

Probably.

 

Go to the Police or to a lawyer.

If possible, get a VAR ... she may attempt to portray you as abusive.

[beach]

After she leaves change your locks right away.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Kyta - WHAT are you doing??? Here's how you put someone out:

 

"Pack your things and leave." Done.

 

You're a sap. Seriously. And you're being played for a fool. This could be a movie of the week.

[ktya]

Kyta - WHAT are you doing??? Here's how you put someone out:

 

"Pack your things and leave." Done.

 

You're a sap. Seriously. And you're being played for a fool. This could be a movie of the week.

 

I tried that on Saturday. I kindly waited until 9am and asked her repeatedly until I gave up at 3pm. She really has nowhere to go.

[beach]

It's not YOUR problem.

 

It is her problem - and she will figure it out when you put her out...and not a moment sooner.

 

Call the police. Tell them she won't leave. Call them now.

[clia]

I tried that on Saturday. I kindly waited until 9am and asked her repeatedly until I gave up at 3pm. She really has nowhere to go.

 

Why are you asking? Stop asking and tell her to leave. Threaten to call the police if she won't leave. None of this makes any sense at all. Based on what she's told you (regardless of what you suspect), she has a home. Tell her to go back to her home. Or tell her to go and stay with her son. What does she say when you say that? When you asked her to leave, what did she say?

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

If you're worried about her causing a ruckus and pulling a DV stunt with the police, go to a neighbors house, call the police, explain the situation, and then calmly walk over with them so they can escort her off the property. Stop making this more difficult than it really is.

 

When I first separated from my ex, there was a brief period that I let him come back and move into my new home. It didn't last long and when I told him to leave, he refused. I called the police, he was not on the lease, they made him leave. They even gave him time to collect his things. Easy peasy.

 

She's not having your kid anymore, she's not your responsibility. Man up.

[beach]

Hello police? I need this gal to be removed from my home because she won't leave when I've asked her to.

 

Please come and remove her for me.

[mammasita]

Hello police? I need this gal to be removed from my home because she won't leave when I've asked her to.

 

Please come and remove her for me.

 

That's exactly what I was going to say

 

You are never getting your money back, accept that now. So let's man the **** up and call the police already.

[sillyanswer]

Hello police? I need this gal to be removed from my home because she won't leave when I've asked her to.

 

Please come and remove her for me.

 

"Also, officer, I'd like to report her for stealing money from me."

[sillyanswer]

I get why she would want to know that, she told me she owned half of a house in one city and another in my hometown free and clear.

 

So she owns one and a half houses... she has somewhere to go, or ways to finance getting somewhere to stay. (Or she's lying to you about owning those assets.)

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Maybe I missed it somewhere, but you haven't yet mentioned what her response is to you telling her to leave? You just keep saying that you asked her to leave and she wouldn't. What's her reason for not leaving??

[rester]

This is the craziest story. Why is it so difficult to call the police? To consult with a lawyer? To TELL her to get out of YOUR house? How much longer are you going to let this crazy woman squat there and steal your money? I hope you're not still sleeping with her.

 

If she didn't sound so crazy I would tell her she has an hour to pack up and leave or you're calling the police, but in this case I wouldn't give her any warning at all. Take the day off work, walk down the street, call the police and have her escorted away. It's only going to get worse...no sane person stays at someone else's house like this for two months without going home.