Are dating sites harder for men or women?

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have known women to actually abandon their online dating accounts because of the overwhelming emails they've received. It just had become too much for them. It's like another full time job.

 

 

for safety reasons still do not feel comfortable not meeting strangers the old fashioned way.

 

This is unfortunate, but true. Stranger danger. But also, some may be socially inept to deal with public approaches. After they go out running their errands, do their gym work outs, etc. they go behind closed doors to log into their Match.com accounts. Sadly, I've known some women prefer to stay in on a Fri./Sat. night as their friends try to twist their arm to get out and socialize.

 

I recall a female friend of mine, who was quite social herself, but had a couple of attractive friends that weren't much for joining social activities with men in them. One claimed that she gets hit on enough in public as it is and didn't need to be in a situation where men would more than likely approach her.

 

So that being said, they prefer the cyber world of filtering out, ignoring, etc of online dating. They can control who approaches them much easier. A real life approach by a man they may not deem attractive in real life at a church singles social or "Singles Mingles" events in downtown, is just something they don't like to deal with as they awkwardly munch on on a piece of cheese while having to listen to a guy talk to them at the refreshment table.

Edited November 28, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst

[GemmaUK]

I have known women to actually abandon their online dating accounts because of the overwhelming emails they've received. It just had become too much for them. It's like another full time job.

 

 

That's why I quit earlier this year.

I'm mid forties so I can't even begin to think how busy things must be online for a 20/30 year old woman.

 

I couldn't live without social interaction - in real life social interaction. I would likely go insane!

 

 

I think many people just need to be out and about and they're likely to meet someone.

 

 

I was just taking some stuff out to the skip and with jeans on, a huge converse hoody, wet hair and zero make up some builders just smiled and wolf whistled at me!

 

 

Man I look rough today! Maybe these guys need their eyes tested!

 

 

ETA: And it just happened again - another guy this time dressed in a business suit...

I think I blame the new moon..

Edited November 28, 2014 by GemmaUK

[EngnimaticResponse]

How do you know if the gender ratio is balanced? Do dating sites have this stat somewhere on the site?

 

I also don't really understand how simply getting messages is getting everything in return, when most often the complaint of women, certainly my experience and my friends whom I've spoken to, is that majority of the incoming messages are not worth much. So having 20 men message you saying ridiculous things for example, how is that getting "everything"?

 

Messages I'll get in a day include: "Let me get you pregnant", "Come to my house and watch netflix", "Sexy", "Nice lips"....okay...so should I be grateful and consider this getting everything? I may get other messages that are just boring and I'm just not interested but also a lot of them are offensive or strange.

 

I don't message a lot of guys but when I do it's with something well thought out and not any of those things...sometimes they respond and sometimes they don't. That's how it goes.

Yes, it must be SOOOO DIFFICULT for you, knowing you have so many men that want you. Even if it is just for sex. That would be like the women that want us just for our money. Actually, I would be ok with this, because it would mean THAT I HAD MONEY!

 

So, let's flip our OLD situations for a second yours for mine. You now have an empty inbox 98% of the time. The only contact messages you recieve are nice messages... from men in which you have ABSOLUTELY no interest. You get responses from maybe 5% (max) of the men you contact, at least half are very unresponsive and don't ask any questions. All of them poof on you, either the second you mention meeting face-to-face, or sometimes for what seems like no reason at all. You are saying you would be OK with this? I DON'T THINK SO!

Edited November 28, 2014 by EngnimaticResponse

[LookAtThisPOst]

So, let's flip our OLD situations for a second yours for mine. You now have an empty inbox 98% of the time. The only contact messages you recieve are nice messages... from men in which you have ABSOLUTELY no interest. You get responses from maybe 5% (max) of the men you contact, at least half are very unresponsive and don't ask any questions. All of them poof on you, either the second you mention meeting face-to-face, or sometimes for what seems like no reason at all. You are saying you would be OK with this? I DON'T THINK SO!

 

I've known women that have gone months without actually meeting up with someone in person, regardless of the amount of emails they get because, "I haven't found someone I was interested enough in to meet in person."

[EngnimaticResponse]

That's why I quit earlier this year.

I'm mid forties so I can't even begin to think how busy things must be online for a 20/30 year old woman.

 

I couldn't live without social interaction - in real life social interaction. I would likely go insane!

 

 

I think many people just need to be out and about and they're likely to meet someone.

 

 

I was just taking some stuff out to the skip and with jeans on, a huge converse hoody, wet hair and zero make up some builders just smiled and wolf whistled at me!

 

 

Man I look rough today! Maybe these guys need their eyes tested!

 

 

ETA: And it just happened again - another guy this time dressed in a business suit...

I think I blame the new moon..

Um, hon, a hot woman can not 'hide' the fact that she's hot. My 'girl next door' got mono when we were in high school, and I retrieved her books and homework for her. She answerd the door in wrinkled adult pj's that were 2 sizes to big, tangled hair, flushed face, it was obvious she was sick. But any guy seeing her for the first time, would have still known she was hot. If you have ever seen the episode of Big Bang Theory where Penny gets addicted to online gaming... kind of like that.

 

Another example would be the girl in the cab in the movie Shallow Hal. I had never seen that model/actress before but I could tell that something was 'off'. If you did not get distracted by the nose and teeth, and looked at the rest of her face, she still seemed hot. Then you see her for the blonde bombshell that she really is, and you know the reason. Once you know what she really looks like, the ugly make-up does not do anything.

Edited November 28, 2014 by EngnimaticResponse

[fortyninethousand322]

Honestly, I don't know who has it harder.

 

I will say it's ironic. The biggest complaint from guys is that they read profiles, and write genuine messages reflecting the fact that they read and think that based on what they read they'd be a match, and those messages get ignored. Biggest complaint from women is that they never get messages from men who read their profile and instead get one liners, dick pics, sexual solicitations, or end up in never-ending message marathons that never result in a meet.

 

How is it that the guys who send good messages consistently end up sending them to women who don't care about that and the women who want good messages end up not attracting the men who send those good messages? What is going on here?

 

Personally, I've been on dating sites for almost 5 years. In that time, I've met 4 women. Most of my messages go unreplied to (about 95%) and those that do reply, stop replying after I suggest to meet up. My assumption is that it's not OLD, it's me. But I'm willing to entertain suggestions to the contrary.

[MGX]

@ the idea that women should be happy with any kind of message even if its vulgar and disrespectful.

 

so far men are complaining about quantity

women are complaining about quality

 

You have to get reach quantity first before you could begin to complain about quality.

[BluEyeL]

I never got "inundated' with messages. When you first sign up, yes, I got several a day for a few days, but nowhere near the tens and hundreds people are talking about. So maybe the model looking women get "inundated". I found my BF online though, but it took 18 months not 18 days.

[somedude81]

I wonder how many messages the average woman gets in a month.

 

Also how many 1st dates does she go on in an average month.

[Phoe]

I never got "inundated' with messages. When you first sign up, yes, I got several a day for a few days, but nowhere near the tens and hundreds people are talking about. So maybe the model looking women get "inundated". I found my BF online though, but it took 18 months not 18 days.

 

Same. The exaggerations make me giggle.

 

I got about 8 a day. Give or take.

 

And I didn't have an issue with pervy or jerky guys. Only 2 messages like that. The rest were polite and I responded to them.

 

I will say I acted too quickly. I dated the first guy to ask me on a date, and then left OLD.

[Frank2thepoint]

I got about 8 a day. Give or take.

 

The general population of men would be happy with just half of that amount per day. If I did OLD again, I personally be happy just a quarter of that number (don't want to be greedy ), each day from new prospects of women that I can banter and ask out.

[somedude81]

The general population of men would be happy with just half of that amount per day. If I did OLD again, I personally be happy just a quarter of that number (don't want to be greedy ), each day from new prospects of women that I can banter and ask out.

 

Half that number per day?

 

Ha! I'd love to get one message a month.

[BluEyeL]

And only for the first week or so. Then it slows waaay down.

[Phoe]

The general population of men would be happy with just half of that amount per day. If I did OLD again, I personally be happy just a quarter of that number (don't want to be greedy ), each day from new prospects of women that I can banter and ask out.

 

I'd say ANY person would be happy with that amount. I definitely was! Decent amount, but not overwhelming. Just steady and manageable. I liked that.

 

I'm just saying that the exaggeration about women getting "bombarded" and "inundated" with hundreds and thousands of messages is silly and typically not true. It's a very exceptional case if someone is being inundated.

[JuneJulySeptember]

One of the least attractive, least desirable women I know still got around 2 messages per day. When her and I shared our experiences, she was in total shock that I got zero messages each day. I had to explain to her that was the nature of things for men online. She thought online dating was a smashing success for her until she realized everyone just wanted to hook up with her and nothing more. She eventually found her man IRL.

 

Not that it matters at all, but this is just an idiotic question.

 

Gender wars aside, if you are a woman, why would you not f@cking do OLD!

 

It's an amazing tool if you are a woman. Men present themselves to you daily.

 

Probably a pretty amazing tool if you are a good looking guy too.

[insert_name]

The general population of men would be happy with just half of that amount per day. If I did OLD again, I personally be happy just a quarter of that number (don't want to be greedy ), each day from new prospects of women that I can banter and ask out.

 

Exactly the reason why the title of this thread makes me laugh, because it can't honestly be serious.

 

Any girl who is receiving legit messages without having to make any other commitment other than put up a profile automatically has it easier than most men. Most men will be lucky to receive 1 legit unsolicited message in their entire time on OLD whereas thats a situation that women take for granted.

 

So far in 4 months I'm at 30 messages sent OK Cupid and 4 first dates, which I hear is a pretty damn good return for OLD. If thats true then that puts in persoective how tough it is for guys because to me sending 30 messages to get 4 dates should be an example of when OLD is NOT working, not a sign that its going well!

 

I wonder if there are any women out there who have sent 30 messages and had a 4 date or less return? Actually scratch that, I wonder if there are any women who have even had to send 30 messages at all?

[somedude81]

For the record, I have profiles up on OKC and POF for at least a year. I've received one unsolicited message.

 

She lives in England.

 

I have never had a woman reply to any of my messages.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Before I actually did OLD, I could argue this thread.

 

But after having done it, my view is different.

 

It is beyond my comprehension why single women are on these forums arguing these points when they could be on these sites racking up messages from prospective males.

 

I mean if even 80% of the guys suck, you are still getting new ones day after day. And then, there's 5 or 6 sites to choose from.

 

I mean if I was a single woman who was at least somewhat below average looking, OMG, I'd be on every single freakin online dating site I could find and scrounge up my pennies and nickels to pay for.

[JuneJulySeptember]

If women just want to get out and have fun, get laid, or get a confidence boost, OLD is the way to go. I don't suggest women try OLD if they are looking for anything meaningful though.

 

Man, you don't even know. OLD is all about dating down a bit for men. When you do, it's easy to get laid. Again, hard to find anything meaningful though.

 

I have a couple friends who are good looking guys, and between the two of them, they were having sex with just about every single girl in our area. They had to separate their accounts to different websites, one for OKC and the other guy switched to POF. They had to do that because they found themselves hitting on the same women too often. Hanging out with those guys is what showed me what OLD is really about.

 

Yea, yea, yea. I know all about that.

 

The one thing I do genuinely wonder about OLD is exactly how many messages the woman at the way bottom do really get.

[Danda]

It's more dangerous for women (in various ways), which results in it being more difficult for men (as they outnumber the women and the women are far more cautious than they are). I think that's courting/mating in general, though. The internet just makes it a bit worse.

[Danda]

I never got "inundated' with messages. When you first sign up, yes, I got several a day for a few days, but nowhere near the tens and hundreds people are talking about. So maybe the model looking women get "inundated". I found my BF online though, but it took 18 months not 18 days.

 

Same, first few days on OKCupid my inbox exploded. I wonder if it alerts that there is a new profile for the opposite sex members in the mile radius you're looking for? But it has been tapering off substantially since then.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I knew two women that used OLD who most people would consider at the bottom. They would each get a few new messages per week after they had been online for a while. When they first open their accounts, they got a few per day. However, none of those messages were guys looking for dates, they were just looking for easy sex.

 

Hmm. You think?

 

So, no legit messages?

 

I mean, I know it sucks for me. But if I felt it sucked just as bad for ugly women, I'd be a bit more sympathetic. Of course, I've messaged women who could pass for men who had decent profiles who I thought I could mesh with and ... nothing.

 

Speaking of, I'm going to get my daily rejection in pretty soon.

[Danda]

No, neither of them got anything real from OLD. The messages might seem legit at first, but the guy sending them was always just looking to get laid. They always came to me for male advice so they would show me their profile, she me their messages, all that. They were both able to get a FWB with guys who look better than they do, but that's all.

 

Hell that's why I'm on there. This bodes well I guess.

[No Limit]

If it's for sex, men have it harder. Why? Because unless they're a VIP or famous actor they'll have to write hundreds of messages until a chick finally considers him worthy of a response (which still doesn't mean he'll get laid).

 

If it's for real relationship stuff, both genders have it equally as hard. It's not easy finding a good match in a world of narcissists who need women that will stay by their side through any affair and ONS and women producing more 'oops babies' than a lego factory. Not to mention that ocean of decent people you simply don't click with.

[JuneJulySeptember]

No, neither of them got anything real from OLD. The messages might seem legit at first, but the guy sending them was always just looking to get laid. They always came to me for male advice so they would show me their profile, she me their messages, all that. They were both able to get a FWB with guys who look better than they do, but that's all.

 

What kind of physical parameters are we talking here?

Edited December 17, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember