Am I naive for thinking he will come back?

[LottaLover]

I had made a previous post about this so to sum it up, I had a best friend for going on 6 years now. He was in a long term relationship which ended bad and we started dating shortly after.

During our relationship that lasted for 6 months he cried telling me no one has ever treated him the way i have, no one has ever loved him like I have and he was all about me. The ex came back in the picture after she found out he was moving on and he broke it off with me, im pretty sure to work things out with her but he refuses to admit it, he keeps telling me he needs to work on himself yet he stopped talking to me cold turkey out of nowhere.

 

She cheated on him and left him to try it out with someone else, I guess it didnt work out.

 

I cant help but feel like its only a matter of time before he tries to come back to me. We had so much fun together and loved being with each other until we started fighting all the time over her.

 

She needs him financially but since he had moved out he could barely take care of himself. I was there for him in every way possible, to hold him when he cried over her, to help him get his car surprising him with dinner or random things.....

 

I am so heart broken but I dont think I could take him back like I did before, he changed me. He was the first person i gave my all too, i was faithful and honest in every aspect of my life and never have I gave that to someone.

 

I want him to come back because i need that satisfaction, im not in control and he broke my heart so it pisses me off even more as well as hurts even more.

 

If i text him he will text back right away but he is always short and always the one to end the conversation.

 

does any of this make sense?

Edited November 25, 2014 by LottaLover

[Invictus01]

You need to cut all communication and move on. You can't bug somebody into coming back, that other person needs to want to come back. If he wants to come back, it will happen. That's your only move here.

[SoThatHappened]

Makes total sense.

 

The only thing you should do is cut him out of your life until you're indifferent about being romantically involved with him.

 

It sucks, but it's all you can really do for YOU.

 

His former relationship doesn't sounds that great, but in that relationship he's playing the role of YOU in your relationship with him. Giving your all to someone who is a project.

 

For some reason, a lot of people like to do this. They don't like things smooth, they like drama.

 

For you, right now, you should tell him that you can't be in contact anymore until 1) he truly wants back together 100%, 2) you're indifferent.

 

Sorry for what you're going through.

[LottaLover]

You need to cut all communication and move on. You can't bug somebody into coming back, that other person needs to want to come back. If he wants to come back, it will happen. That's your only move here.

 

I actually did stop texting him, going on 5 days now the longest we have ever gone without talking it sucks but I cant keep making myself look stupid.

 

Here's what I need help with, I had ordered a print of him and his grandpa on their Motorcycles together got it framed and everything a week before we broke up, it was something I was going to save for Xmas being that his grandpa isnt doing very well and they are very close.

 

I dont want to throw it away, regardless of whats going on right now we were best friends and its a sentimental gift... I dont want to give it to him now because I'll look like im just finding an excuse to talk to him/see him but I dont know about waiting until xmas because then I'll really look crazy saying "hey i know we havent talked in a month or so but merry x-mas!" lol

what should i do?

[LottaLover]

Makes total sense.

 

The only thing you should do is cut him out of your life until you're indifferent about being romantically involved with him.

 

It sucks, but it's all you can really do for YOU.

 

His former relationship doesn't sounds that great, but in that relationship he's playing the role of YOU in your relationship with him. Giving your all to someone who is a project.

 

For some reason, a lot of people like to do this. They don't like things smooth, they like drama.

 

For you, right now, you should tell him that you can't be in contact anymore until 1) he truly wants back together 100%, 2) you're indifferent.

 

Sorry for what you're going through.

 

Your so right, I told him "your treating me the same way she has treated you" he didnt like that very much and he always apologized.... but yeah, I stopped talking to him, one of the hardest things I have done i lost my best friend and my love, sounds so dramatic i know lol but its the truth, thanks for the input/advice!

[Gloria25]

He keeps on coming back cuz you're "o'l faithful"...but that's not cuz he wants to be with you, it's cuz you're convenient.

 

If he rather be with someone who treats him like his ex did, then time for you to move on. Some guys are just like that, they for whatever reason, either like the drama, don't think they deserve better, etc. Who cares what his reasons are - fact is he does not want to be in a healthy RL. You, or any other woman that's got her stuff together and is there for him will not satisfy him.

 

Be thankful you dodged a bullet...let him be with her and just sit back, get popcorn, and laugh

[dumbass2]

I actually did stop texting him, going on 5 days now the longest we have ever gone without talking it sucks but I cant keep making myself look stupid.

 

Here's what I need help with, I had ordered a print of him and his grandpa on their Motorcycles together got it framed and everything a week before we broke up, it was something I was going to save for Xmas being that his grandpa isnt doing very well and they are very close.

 

I dont want to throw it away, regardless of whats going on right now we were best friends and its a sentimental gift... I dont want to give it to him now because I'll look like im just finding an excuse to talk to him/see him but I dont know about waiting until xmas because then I'll really look crazy saying "hey i know we havent talked in a month or so but merry x-mas!" lol

what should i do?

 

My suggestion, take it and throw it away because it will be something that you will continue to be tempted to use to contact him. He does not deserve that from you and it IS NOT a big deal. It will show weakness on your end. Be strong. i'm sure he's got other pictures with his grandpa. It will be an excuse that you want to have just in case. Get rid of it and do not contact him. Like what has been said, stay away and do not contact him and do not answer anything from him for at least 3-4 months no matter what. I finally did that with my ex and then she contacted me. I didn't do NC for that reason, but to get over her, so it can happen and if it does hopefully you are in a better place with a clear head. I'm am. It happens and it will for you. It will take some time but you need to stick with it.