Live in boyfriend wants me to get rid of my pets!

[CrystalCastles]

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, lived together for one.

 

I don't understand how your bf had no problems with your pets for that long, and all of a sudden now he has problems?

 

Many of these problems are easy to solve. As people suggested, he should lock away his stuff. Also, there are plenty of solutions on the internet. I read somewhere that cats hate the smell of apple juice. So if you spritz some around his stuff, the cats won't come near it. Also, I read about some good methods for teaching cats not to do bad things. My own cat likes to lounge on our dining room table. So if I see him doing that, I just give him a spritz of water and he hates it so he jumps right off. He usually "gets" it after a few times. Plus the spritz of water is a humane way of teaching a cat a lesson because he gets the message but at the same time, you're not hurting him or yelling at him.

 

Also, for your cats you can always get a scratching post. Where I live, these things are expensive so I bought a bunch of doormats made out of straw materials. My cat loves them! He's an indoor/outdoor cat so right before he heads out, he gives those mats a good scratching. Unfortunately he's started doing that to the neighbor's welcome mat and I don't know how to make him stop. Plus he poops in their garden. Oh well.

 

I don't own dogs so I can't offer any suggestions, but again, check out the internet. Your boyfriend is being unreasonable and if he had a problem with your pets he shouldn't have moved in.

[sweetjasmine]

OP, since you mentioned you think you may have too many pets, I'll just say this: if you ever do decide to surrender any of your pets, research your options. There are rescues out there who work on rehoming surrenders who wouldn't stand a chance at most shelters. If the alternative is locking your pets up and making them miserable, they'd be better off finding a happy home through a rescue group.

[TigerLilly78]

And if you knew something about animals and domestication you will know that once an animal is completely domesticated and 100% reliant on a human being, they are completely useless in the wild.

 

 

 

A domesticated pet would starve on the street. It would have no clue how to forage for food or even protect itself from other predators. .

 

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..not saying its right to do that but yeah they will revert to their wild instincts if left to themselves long enough heck even humans will thats how nature really works man just thinks we have it all figured out..lol

[TigerLilly78]

Im sorry but I assume the boyfriend helps pay for the home? why is it so wrong for the OP to then compromise and try to make that home comfortable for them both? hes asking her to rehome 2 out of 6 animals thats not really unreasonable in my eyes.

 

Every one is going on about how its so mean of him but yet he himself gets no consideration in any of this thats not mean to him? maybe he moved in and tried dealing with it cause he did love the OP but its just not working for him so instead of us telling her that compromise in a relashionship is a good thing and trying to help her work on things were telling her to dig her heels in and keep all of them come hell or high water and screw him when she herself says it might be to many for her.

 

I know shes not a hoarder I never said she was BUT this can be how it starts when people end up overwhelmed with animals and then choose them over other human interactions its not healthy imo. Shes struggling to pay her home on her own her bf helps pay so instead of using some common sense and compromising and trying to make things work some are suggesting she play hard ball and maybe lose ALL of her animals how is that the best thing for them?

 

I think when it comes to animals some lose sight of the fact that weather or not we like it they are just that animals not humans and some times human interactions have to come first they are not unruley kids they are pets stop comparing them to human children..rehomeing is not the same thing as abandonment if done properly..

[Friskyone4u]

You had the pets when he became your boyfriend. Get rid of him. The pets will be more loyal and more respectful of your feelings and give you unconditional love. Your boyfriend is a selfish creep

[KatZee]

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..not saying its right to do that but yeah they will revert to their wild instincts if left to themselves long enough heck even humans will thats how nature really works man just thinks we have it all figured out..lol

 

Some. Not all. Have you seen how many videos are out there about dog rescue? Dogs being tossed to live on the street? Nothing but walking skeletons ready to die.

 

My first cat was the biggest princess. A bird got into our house one day and she just sat down to talk to it. No survival instinct whatsoever.

 

OP better not leave her dogs outside; too hot, threat of being stolen or escaping. And she better not lock up 3 cats in one room.

 

Pets who are like family but whom she will abuse for the sake of this clown.

[Els]

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..not saying its right to do that but yeah they will revert to their wild instincts if left to themselves long enough heck even humans will thats how nature really works man just thinks we have it all figured out..lol

 

Actually the vast majority of urban-dwelling humans would die within a week if they were just dropped in, say, a jungle with no civilization in sight and no equipment. The same goes for the majority of domesticated animals. Animals are never domesticated fully in just one generation - it requires evolution and multiple generations (usually sped up with selective breeding). Similarly, the reverse would not be quick.

[veggirl]

As for my cats, they would only but placed in the bedroom for a few hours. They would have the run of the house at night and during the day when we're at work. The same thing goes for the dogs. Inside at night and during the day while we're working.

 

So will you be having ANY interaction with your pets whatsoever with this horrible plan? I guess it's out of sight, out of mind? What about when your cats start crying and scratching the bedroom door because they don't want to be locked in one room every single night? Or your dogs are crying and scratching the back door to get back in because they don't want to be locked out every single night?

 

What if the animals break something during the day? is your bf putting his breakables somewhere else?

 

Im sorry but I assume the boyfriend helps pay for the home? why is it so wrong for the OP to then compromise and try to make that home comfortable for them both? hes asking her to rehome 2 out of 6 animals thats not really unreasonable in my eyes.

 

Every one is going on about how its so mean of him but yet he himself gets no consideration in any of this thats not mean to him? maybe he moved in and tried dealing with it cause he did love the OP but its just not working for him so instead of us telling her that compromise in a relashionship is a good thing and trying to help her work on things were telling her to dig her heels in and keep all of them come hell or high water and screw him when she herself says it might be to many for her.

 

I know shes not a hoarder I never said she was BUT this can be how it starts when people end up overwhelmed with animals and then choose them over other human interactions its not healthy imo. Shes struggling to pay her home on her own her bf helps pay so instead of using some common sense and compromising and trying to make things work some are suggesting she play hard ball and maybe lose ALL of her animals how is that the best thing for them?

 

I think when it comes to animals some lose sight of the fact that weather or not we like it they are just that animals not humans and some times human interactions have to come first they are not unruley kids they are pets stop comparing them to human children..rehomeing is not the same thing as abandonment if done properly..

 

You sound like someone who's never bonded with an animal. I would NEVER EVER EVER rehome my cat just because my bf doesn't like her. She IS like my little baby! You obviously don't get it. We are bonded, I take care of her and I love her. She loves me! She knows I take care of her, she comes to ME over anyone else who may be in the house. to suggest "oh just give the pets away" is ridiculously short-sighted and frankly rather ignorant and dismissive to the relationship humans can develop with animals. It's not weird or crazy, it's what happens when you care for something/one other than yourself.

 

A bitchy bf is NO reason to rehome an animal. They aren't even MARRIED he could bail tomorrow and she'd be w/o her pets. That's fked up and a stupid suggestion, sorry.

 

People who just give away their pets as soon as they become an inconvenience are heartless.

 

and why do people act like re-homing is so easy? there aren't usually lines of people to take your adult cat or dog for you. most want kittens/puppies and will adopt (or sadly buy) that puppy or kitten, not a 7 year old cat or something.

Edited November 27, 2014 by veggirl

[Emilia]

Graceful, my boyfriend and I are in our mid forties. My parents were in their mid forties as well when I was born. They live 700 miles away from me, so I only see them once a year at best. They are still active despite my mom's dementia. My dad drives, they shop, go out to eat, and go on cruises every summer. My dad still mows his own yard and was even up on his roof last week working! They are not bedridden or in wheelchairs. They have a cat and take care very good care of her.

As for my cats, they would only but placed in the bedroom for a few hours. They would have the run of the house at night and during the day when we're at work. The same thing goes for the dogs. Inside at night and during the day while we're working.

I still think it was very optimistic of you to expect your 90 and 92 years old parents to take care of 6 animals. Don't you think that perhaps that's the reason why your boyfriend blew up? That your expectations of living with animals and managing your life are not realistic? I think this is a classic one sided story where the other person probably has some very valid points that are not shared here.

[loversquarrel]

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..not saying its right to do that but yeah they will revert to their wild instincts if left to themselves long enough heck even humans will thats how nature really works man just thinks we have it all figured out..lol

 

Thank you, my point exactly. People are so arrogant to think that a domesticated animal could only survive by their hands. Humans domesticated animals to aid them in survival. We use many of their instinctual skills to aid us, such as using dogs for hunting and cats for ridding our dwellings of vermin.

 

I can't believe I am getting sucked into this argument, it is so far off from what the op had originally asked. My above statement does not advocate leaving pets outside for lengths of time that would amount to being abusive. As I stated in a previous post, no one here is advocating animal abuse. Some here are getting carried away with that notion.

[SoThatHappened]

Screw it OP, ditch someone you love for pets. They are forever and much more important than people. Your boyfriend is obviously a horrible jerk because he can't handle 6 pets. He should be shot, drawn, and quartered.

 

Then you won't have to wonder "what if" after your pets die and you're all alone.

[lollipopspot]

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..not saying its right to do that but yeah they will revert to their wild instincts if left to themselves long enough heck even humans will thats how nature really works man just thinks we have it all figured out..lol

 

No, feral cats are something I have a lot of experience with. They almost always need to survive near human food sources (whether provided directly or inadvertently). They are not wild animals, they are domestic animals who are not socialized to humans. Most cats - even those born outdoors to feral mothers - absolutely would not survive without a source of food from humans. A socialized cat would fare even worse. They are not wild animals. And they were domesticated from cats who come from a very different part of the world than most places they have been taken to live.

 

I know shes not a hoarder I never said she was BUT this can be how it starts

 

No, hoarding is a specific mental illness and it doesn't start from having 6 pets long-term who are being taken care of. This is a very different issue here.

[Anela]

No, feral cats are something I have a lot of experience with. They almost always need to survive near human food sources (whether provided directly or inadvertently). They are not wild animals, they are domestic animals who are not socialized to humans. Most cats - even those born outdoors to feral mothers - absolutely would not survive without a source of food from humans. A socialized cat would fare even worse. They are not wild animals.

 

Yep. We feed a few ferals, and wish that we could do more, but we can't touch them.

 

Three of the cats I have now, were feral kittens (their brother died last December ). Their mother trusted me and my Dad, and when they could walk, she took them into our garage. She disappeared last November, before I could try to get her into the house (she would occasionally let me hold her, so I wondered if she had been dumped here, or if she had a home in the neighbourhood).

 

We've had a ginger kitten hanging around since August. My cats seem to have adopted him, so he spends time in our house, but I still can't hold him - he's let me pet his back, and talks to me, so I'm hoping to tame him.

 

We can't afford to take care of all of the cats who show up, though.

[veggirl]

Screw it OP, ditch someone you love for pets. They are forever and much more important than people. Your boyfriend is obviously a horrible jerk because he can't handle 6 pets. He should be shot, drawn, and quartered.

 

Then you won't have to wonder "what if" after your pets die and you're all alone.

 

so your suggestion is what, exactly? dump the adult animals at the shelter? or re-home them to the gaggles of people looking for adult animals to care for? gimme a break.

 

it's called responsibility. when you adopt an animal you are agreeing to be responsible for it, not play with it until it becomes a nuisance and then throw it out the front door.

 

to suggest that someone with pets will end up "all alone" because of accepting responsibility for the animals is ludicrous. plenty of people with pets (multiple, even! shock, horror) are in happy relationships. just because your ex was an irresponsible pet owner and had cats she didn't properly care for (hence the stink and spraying), doesn't mean others are like that.

[sweetjasmine]

I think you would be surprised just how quick domestic animals go feral and revert to being wild when set free they don't all starve and die..

 

Having seen lots of abandoned animals come through the doors nearly dead or one breath away from death, nope. Not true. Cats have a better chance, but life expectancy is about a year or two, at best. And dogs especially don't just "become" feral. If they've been socialized, they remain that way. Even in cats, there's a stark difference between the behavior of feral cats who were raised outdoors away from humans and cats that have been abandoned.

 

In any case, trapping the cats in a room and forcing the dogs to be outside for hours in the sweltering heat is cruel. And it obviously wouldn't solve the problem of the pets knocking things over if they got rid of 2 of them or if they're out of the way for only part of a day. Both solutions are obviously unworkable.

[loversquarrel]

As I said, go elsewhere if you want to discuss wild animals vs. domesticated ones. You are, IMNSHO, selfishly taking this thread so far off topic that I don't even know what you're talking about. I responded to your "crack" (your word, not mine) to me, nothing more. I have no perception re: animal abuse that I know of, so it's a little odd to me that you think I do. We are strangers, are we not?

 

 

I'm here, just as we all are, to offer my own perspective, not to argue with twits like you. I don't care if you disagree with me, you're not the one with the problem, so why should I (or anyone) care? Clue: no one does.

 

Also, I don't speak to people who yell at me (all caps), so go calm down and don't talk to me anymore, b/c you're a quarrelsome person, and I don't have time to waste on you. I don't care what you think of me, in case you want to further insult me, I'll find it extremely amusing. Go ahead, make my day, I'll be having a good laugh behind the computer screen. Have a nice day.

 

Guess I hit a nerve. No need for the name calling, just please pay attention next time to previous posts. I didn't realize I hurt your feelings.

[preraph]

Not wanting to live with a house full of destructive animals doesn't mean he doesn't care about her he only asked her to rehome 2. People can go over board with animals and it starts just like the OP is saying. Im not calling her a animal collector but once you get more then you can control it start becoming a problem. Seams shes now hiding them in bed rooms and things have a watch on animal planets rescue shows and you will see what I mean..

 

B.S. None of my animals are destructive. You just don't like animals. So you shouldn't have him, but one person who hates them and one who loves them are not compatible and he is the one who should go. "Rehoming," are you kidding? Don't you mean they end up euthanized. Do you know how hard it is to find a home. Do you just not care about that she LOVES them and they LOVE her and need her? Ridiculous. Dump anyone who just doesn't have any empathy for animals or people and keep the animals.

[veggirl]

Having seen lots of abandoned animals come through the doors nearly dead or one breath away from death, nope. Not true. Cats have a better chance, but life expectancy is about a year or two, at best. And dogs especially don't just "become" feral. If they've been socialized, they remain that way. Even in cats, there's a stark difference between the behavior of feral cats who were raised outdoors away from humans and cats that have been abandoned.

 

 

Yes, this. My cat was dumped by her former "family" and living in mud when I found her. She came straight to me, skinny and so dirty. the first night I had her she slept on my chest (I think because she was scared I'd leave her!). She didn't "go feral" or turn into a friggin tiger or whatever nonsense when she was dumped....she became homeless, scared, and hungry!

Edited November 27, 2014 by veggirl

[preraph]

You don't ever throw away sweet loving protective good-hearted loyal creatures for an unempathetic cold-blooded person who doesn't understand love and care about the amimals' wellbeing or your feelings, period. Bad trade.

[TigerLilly78]

B.S. None of my animals are destructive. You just don't like animals. So you shouldn't have him, but one person who hates them and one who loves them are not compatible and he is the one who should go. "Rehoming," are you kidding? Don't you mean they end up euthanized. Do you know how hard it is to find a home. Do you just not care about that she LOVES them and they LOVE her and need her? Ridiculous. Dump anyone who just doesn't have any empathy for animals or people and keep the animals.

 

 

Hold your horses there I've had more pets then I can prob count animals have always been a big part of my life but that said one must be responsible and reasonable when it comes to pet ownership the op herself said some wheres that shes struggling and it may be to much why is everyone ignoring that? why is a man who contributes to their home being made into a villain just because hes asked her to rehome 2 out of 6 pets 6 pets is a lot its a full house..

 

I wonder if all 6 are totally current and up to date on their vets needs shots fixing tags and so on? that gets expensive with one I can only imagine the cost of 6 when the op herself is saying shes kinda struggling financially again something everyone is just glossing over..

 

I currently have one pet a ferret shes like my best friend and shes treated like a little queen by me and my bf shes been to the vet and eats the best foods we can buy her cage cost us over 300 alone not to mention an endless supply of toys and so on to keep her entertained I would be heartbroken if we ever lost her so yes I do "GET IT"..I just also know that common sense must be used weather we like it or not sometimes..

 

Not all rehomed animals end up getting put down thats the kind of mind set that leads to people keeping way more then they can handle for fear of them being killed. When in reality there are even no kill shelters now a days and so on or finding a new home yourself it just takes some work.

 

I feel for the OP but I just worry for the sake of the other animals if she loses her home and cant keep them ether if you want to call me a bad guy for that then so be it what ever floats your boat..then I guess it will be better when we have to read the thread about how she lost her house and all of her animals plus her bf I guess that one will be better cause she stood her ground..

[hestheone66]

Seems like a case could be made to change the nature of the relationship. Stay together but dont live together. No need to break up and he moves out.i read thatgeven married people who love each other make their marriage work when living together is not workable..

[Anela]

For those who think that simply dumping a pet outside is okay:

Sweet Homeless Poodle Brings Her Rescuers To Tears (Video)

 

I muted the music. that's just one dog, in a sea of animals that are left to fend for themselves. Poor, beautiful baby.