LookAtThisPOst Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I was wondering, has answering all those questions through OK Cupid to see if you were a match with certain people has helped as far as at least achieving a meet n greet? I'm about halfway done through it. There's up to around 300 questions believe it or not. Hope it's worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
lyndaaxo Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I get the idea behind it, not sure if it has any impact on who you meet on there though. If anything its a bit of fun and an insight into the people you do chat to. I never got through them all back when I was on there, you don't have to do them and I got bored after a while! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I was wondering, has answering all those questions through OK Cupid to see if you were a match with certain people has helped as far as at least achieving a meet n greet? I'm about halfway done through it. There's up to around 300 questions believe it or not. Hope it's worth it. I think you're missing a zero off that. Anyway, for the main question: it's helped me eliminate some people from my search without wasting time writing to them, either because they had a low match score (or high 'enemy' score) or because I read through their answers and found some that are deal-breakers. It's almost impossible to know if, for the dates I've had from that site, answering the questions was the thing that enable the first date to happen... but it seems unlikely. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mirages Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Too much information... Many of the questions, at least by me, would take three sentences to frame up. I am not into yes/no, 4 choice. Mind is a little deeper. The whole program would be better if the questions were professionally arrayed and the answers not given, they were only used for matching by percent. I can find compatibility, or typically the lack of it based on text, photography, and appearance, in that order, that is the main course. I suspect that marketability is better if we leave most of them private. Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I answered almost 250 questions, and at some point I said enough. A little mystery, a little discussion, maybe respectful disagreement, are vital for allowing the ice to melt and conversation to flow all night. I dig the quizzes too. The site would be fine with just those, and leave out all the BS profiles. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 You know what's silly. Some women actually demand in their OK Cupid profile that those questions be answered before they would considering even replying to you. Some of these people have a little too much time on their hands. I stopped after so many pages. I gave up after so much. Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 To a degree, anything you do can help achieve a meet n greet. The real question is how soon will you achieve a meet n greet, and how many opportunities will be presented to you? The only thing you really have to do is put your location and your profile picture, and that's all you may really need for a woman to message you. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Too much information... Many of the questions, at least by me, would take three sentences to frame up. I am not into yes/no, 4 choice. Mind is a little deeper. I know how you feel. Many of the questions (and the answers you can choose) are False Dilemmas. Deliberately so! Once you get based the first several questions you do have the option to Skip any question you don't want to answer. The whole program would be better if the questions were professionally arrayed and the answers not given, they were only used for matching by percent. For the second point there... you do have the option of answering the questions "privately" which then does exactly what you say. (in the current version of the site this is the padlock symbol next to the question) I can find compatibility, or typically the lack of it based on text, photography, and appearance, in that order, that is the main course. I suspect that marketability is better if we leave most of them private. Fair enough. Then you have that option! Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 You know what's silly. Some women actually demand in their OK Cupid profile that those questions be answered before they would considering even replying to you. I've seen that. Things like "If you haven't answered at least nnn of my questions then I'm not interested." That's fine... I have rules about who I won't write to or respond to, so I don't mind if others do. I don't think it's silly, though; those people presumably consider the match system to be a useful way to filter out unsuitable suitors. Some of these people have a little too much time on their hands. I stopped after so many pages. I gave up after so much. A session of just answering questions doesn't sound like much fun! Sometimes I answer a few more questions here and there when I'm looking at a profile and I see that she has answered a particular question that I haven't. It adds up over time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 I've seen that. Things like "If you haven't answered at least nnn of my questions then I'm not interested." That's fine... I have rules about who I won't write to or respond to, so I don't mind if others do. I don't think it's silly, though; those people presumably consider the match system to be a useful way to filter out unsuitable suitors. A session of just answering questions doesn't sound like much fun! Sometimes I answer a few more questions here and there when I'm looking at a profile and I see that she has answered a particular question that I haven't. It adds up over time. I am finding that my percentages of a "match" have gone above 90% for some (it's been highlighted), emailed these ladies with still no response. *shrug*. I kind of feel I'm wasting my time answering those questions only for them to find yet another reason not to respond. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I am finding that my percentages of a "match" have gone above 90% for some (it's been highlighted), emailed these ladies with still no response. *shrug*. I kind of feel I'm wasting my time answering those questions only for them to find yet another reason not to respond. I've had 99% matches not respond. I assume they didn't like my mugshot. No big deal. It isn't a percentage chance of getting a reply! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 (edited) As a roleplaying gamer, I tended to powergame those questions. What you want is to achieve the maximum match % with as many compatible people as possible. That means you need to answer as many of the questions as specifically as you can, without giving any answers that would go against what your target audience wants. Remember you can skip questions to pick and choose which ones you answer. I kind of feel I'm wasting my time answering those questions only for them to find yet another reason not to respond. People do not look at profiles looking for reasons not to respond. That's a very bitter and twisted viewpoint you have there. If they do not respond it is because your profile and photos did not inspire them to respond. That is your failing, not theirs. Edited November 27, 2014 by PegNosePete Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I am finding that my percentages of a "match" have gone above 90% for some (it's been highlighted), emailed these ladies with still no response. *shrug*. I kind of feel I'm wasting my time answering those questions only for them to find yet another reason not to respond. The questions are mostly novelty and a total timewaste- if you are up against a dude who looks like Brad Pitt and hes a 0% match and you are a 90% I still dont give you much chance of a response. From what I can gather the filters work as follows: Pics > profile > message content > match %age Most of us will be filtered at the pics/profile stage so the questions become pretty much irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 People do not look at profiles looking for reasons not to respond. That's a very bitter and twisted viewpoint you have there. If they do not respond it is because your profile and photos did not inspire them to respond. That is your failing, not theirs. That's kind of going way out on a limb out there by referring calling it "very bitter and twisted", it's actually the reality of the situation. Actually, some women that HAD responded to me were INSPIRED actually, but they were few and far between and even complimented me on my well written out thoughts in what I was looking for. They were so impressed, I wound up dating them. LOL So there goes that theory, it's just that it takes a rare woman to appreciate that and with people treating online dating as if they were thumbing through resumes looking for certain keywords that attract their attention. If you're but one of those characteristics that you don't meet, you're pretty much out of the running. I think it was due to the fact that a lot of idiots had been contacting them with minimal intellect that I was some kind of breath of fresh air to them. So I had inspired some women to respond, just not that many. Recently a woman said she simply "wasn't attracted physically" yep, plain and simple response when I did get one, and I accepted at that at face value. Face it, some look at the photos and if there's a certain physical thing about they aren't attracted to, they MAY respond saying "Sorry, I don't think we're a good match." or not respond at all. Ironically, we were a match in many ways upon comparison of what we had BOTH written in our online dating profiles,but all it takes is a height parameter, facial hair, lack of hair on top of the head, etc, that would cause someone to move on. (Yes, I have seen women admit to disliking facial hair on a man. Or say, "If you're not 6 feet or taller, don't bother responding!" I was discussing the situation with the unrealistic expectations with a co-worker about online dating, he drew a box and he said "If you don't fall within exactly within the box, you're out of the running." Apparently, there's no wiggle room for some. The questions are mostly novelty and a total timewaste- if you are up against a dude who looks like Brad Pitt and hes a 0% match and you are a 90% I still dont give you much chance of a response. From what I can gather the filters work as follows: Pics > profile > message content > match %age Most of us will be filtered at the pics/profile stage so the questions become pretty much irrelevant. Yep, looks like me and "insert_name" are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 As a roleplaying gamer, I tended to powergame those questions. What you want is to achieve the maximum match % with as many compatible people as possible. That means you need to answer as many of the questions as specifically as you can, without giving any answers that would go against what your target audience wants. Remember you can skip questions to pick and choose which ones you answer. People do not look at profiles looking for reasons not to respond. That's a very bitter and twisted viewpoint you have there. If they do not respond it is because your profile and photos did not inspire them to respond. That is your failing, not theirs. I am not so sure...consider the thread on here with the experience of a dating coach, how he would show women the details of potential suitors and the women would go into disqualification mode- "oh his fraternity wasnt cool enough!" etc. The dating coach found that these people were trying to sabotage their chances of success, I suspect OLD attracts these sort of women like moths to a flame because they have already disqualified everyone they know IRL. I think people, when presented with numerous romantic options, naturally slip into a narcissistic mindset where they justify how that person is not good enough for them, using the lamest disqualifiers if they have to. So whilst I dont think everyone on OLD is like that I certainly dont think it can be ruled out. As for the failure aspect, yes and no. In the strictest sense yes you have not met her criteria- but we dont know whether her criteria is even realistic- this (imo) has a very real bearing on whose responsibility the failure lies with. I messaged a girl who was living at home with parents in her mid 30s and worked in a shop (low wage)- given our relative socio-economic status I was going below my league, is it my failure that I didnt jump and dance like a clown well enough? Or is she holding out for someone with an even more established career than mine? I am not saying either answer is right or wrong- but when you dont know what is going through the other persons mind to feel like the failure is with you is wrong and potentially leads to loss of esteem. All this has just re-affirmed my belief that OLD is a bad deal for men and we should be out there dealing with what we can see with our own eyes IRL rather than inferring things about our suitability to date based entirely on not getting any sort of response to a message. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 (edited) That's kind of going way out on a limb out there by referring calling it "very bitter and twisted", it's actually the reality of the situation. You think it's reality, that people go through profiles, looking for reasons not to respond? I've never known anyone to do that. Not responding is already the default action unless you write something to make them want to respond. So there goes that theory, it's just that it takes a rare woman to appreciate that and with people treating online dating as if they were thumbing through resumes looking for certain keywords that attract their attention. If you're but one of those characteristics that you don't meet, you're pretty much out of the running. How do you know all this? How can you possibly know the thought process of the ones that don't respond to you? Have you been taking OLD lessons from irc333? You sound very much like him. Edited November 27, 2014 by PegNosePete 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 (edited) You think it's reality, that people go through profiles, looking for reasons not to respond? I've never known anyone to do that. Not responding is already the default action unless you write something to make them want to respond. How do you know all this? How can you possibly know the thought process of the ones that don't respond to you? Have you been taking OLD lessons from irc333? You sound very much like him. No, just acturally from Insert_Name...I've subscribed to his posts. Read what he said right after me, and tell me what you think. He likely put it in better words than I ever would, so perhaps you'll gain some insight on his more eloquently placed posts. Take note: I think people, when presented with numerous romantic options, naturally slip into a narcissistic mindset where they justify how that person is not good enough for them, using the lamest disqualifiers if they have to. So whilst I dont think everyone on OLD is like that I certainly dont think it can be ruled out. Perhaps you need to reflect as I know most tend to believe this to be true. A lot, including Insert_Name, speak from experience. Also, not sure that you've taken note of those that I HAD INSPIRED to reply, so it's moot. Edited November 27, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 People do not look at profiles looking for reasons not to respond. I do. Some of the possible answers are deal-breakers for me. For example, I won't write to or respond to someone who thinks that contraception is morally wrong. I'm happy for people to judge me on thinking that it is not morally wrong, too. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I've not been on OK Cupid. I did answer similar ones on Zoosk and POF. Some questions did rule out a man right away, so I'm a favor of ones comparing major lifestyle choices and mindsets. (the Muslim man who wanted kids and to whom his religion was very important. He obviously did did read my profile) 300 + questions does seem excessive. Getting to know someone can't be done just on paper. Lookatthispost; sounds like you've been lucky enough to have the right kind of women respond to your profile. That's great! I'm not going to lie , most of us have to also find the person physically appealing , but on the other hand aren't locked into certain narrow physical parameters. You might get a smaller number, but they sound like good quality responses. I want people to want to know me and want to be with me for myself so I enjoy it when I get responses that are based on that. The man I've been dating isn't my normal physical type. That said, I am very attracted to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 The man I've been dating isn't my normal physical type. That said, I am very attracted to him. Well, it's good to hear some people have a little wiggle room when it comes to their dating parameters. Link to post Share on other sites
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