Justcuzitis Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I've posted asking about how to get over an affair. As I said in my initial post, I fully admit I am an A** for cheating. I don't know the ins and outs of how to deal with a breakup of this sort. I know that I don't know. But what has helped me lately is being happy for my Affair Partner, in that she has moved on. She seems happy and frankly, if you care for someone that's all you want for them. It's funny, we search the interwebs looking for answers. No Contact, Affair Fog, Self Esteem issues etc, and etc. The truth is 2 people got together. It was wrong, and notwithstanding that it was wrong, they fell in love. We all know that feeling. We also know that the relationship, however grand, however satisfying was wrong. It was wrong because of both parties. That realization is key I think. Once the relationship has ended however, I don't think there's any benefit to harbour ill will. It's not fair, and it's not right, at least from my perspective. Once it's over, I think the best course of action is to keep it ended, and simply hope and pray that both move on, and find happiness in their own respective lives. I also think it's important for both parties to correct, i.e fix whatever was wrong in their lives. That for me, means a lot of work on my own flaws. It also means that I let the Affair Partner go, and really, truly wish and pray that they are happy without me in their life. I know she is, and well, she should be. My 2 cents for what it's worth. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I've posted asking about how to get over an affair. As I said in my initial post, I fully admit I am an A** for cheating. I don't know the ins and outs of how to deal with a breakup of this sort. I know that I don't know. But what has helped me lately is being happy for my Affair Partner, in that she has moved on. She seems happy and frankly, if you care for someone that's all you want for them. It's funny, we search the interwebs looking for answers. No Contact, Affair Fog, Self Esteem issues etc, and etc. The truth is 2 people got together. It was wrong, and notwithstanding that it was wrong, they fell in love. We all know that feeling. We also know that the relationship, however grand, however satisfying was wrong. It was wrong because of both parties. That realization is key I think. Once the relationship has ended however, I don't think there's any benefit to harbour ill will. It's not fair, and it's not right, at least from my perspective. Once it's over, I think the best course of action is to keep it ended, and simply hope and pray that both move on, and find happiness in their own respective lives. I also think it's important for both parties to correct, i.e fix whatever was wrong in their lives. That for me, means a lot of work on my own flaws. It also means that I let the Affair Partner go, and really, truly wish and pray that they are happy without me in their life. I know she is, and well, she should be. My 2 cents for what it's worth. Have you considered telling your wife? Link to post Share on other sites
GirlStillStrong Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 How heartbreaking. Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 How heartbreaking. How is this heartbreaking. It's actually how mentally healthy people think when they have made a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I think he has it all in perspective and is moving past his mistake. Poppy Link to post Share on other sites
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