Sexually attracted to my friend,not sexually attracted to my bf

[Thegreatestthing]

It's a problem,how do I get around this,me snd my friend have never spoken sexually to one another but honestly he is the only guy in the universe I feel sexual attraction for.

[stillcold]

Well... the problem is not that you're sexually attracted to your friend, the problem is that you're not sexually attracted to your boyfriend.

 

Are you not attracted to your boyfriend at all? Is there any kind of attraction for him? If not, you are stringing him along and yourself. You will never feel satisfied and you will also feel that something is lacking if you don't get that fixed.

 

Two options:

 

1) Dump your boyfriend (it's inevitably going to happen if you're already here posting this issue)

2) Drop the friend, and work on your relationship if you truly love your bf.

 

Let us know.

[PegNosePete]

Is this the same guy you've been asking about in your previous threads?

 

Look you have options. Time to choose one.

 

1) Dump your BF since you're already disrespecting him massively

2) Cheat on your BF

3) Stay with your BF and tell the friend to get lost

[d0nnivain]

Because you are not your BF's biggest fan, let him go. He needs to be free to find somebody who loves him fully.

 

 

Then find your courage & tell your friend how you feel.

[whichwayisup]

Because you are not your BF's biggest fan, let him go. He needs to be free to find somebody who loves him fully.

 

 

Then find your courage & tell your friend how you feel.

 

Why did you date your boyfriend and have a relationship with him if you weren't attracted to him?

 

I do agree you should end things with your boyfriend, you're wasting his time by staying with him. It's unfair to continue on knowing you feel no sexual passion for him at all.

 

Be alone for a while before you go to your friend and confess how you feel about him.

[Thegreatestthing]

I do care for him,I'm happy in the relationship just not hugely sexually attracted like I am to my friend.

 

my friend has asked to date me before,but as soon as he found out I was in a relationship he stopped doing that.I told him I was not sexually attracted to my bf and he never said anything about that,he just asked me what he's gimmick was? I don't really know what that means.

[MrMeh]

Can you please just let your bf go!? He isn't your emotional cane. Learn to be emotionally independent so you don't have to latch onto people.

[Thegreatestthing]

So even though we are compatible in every way except sexual I should let him go.

[MrMeh]

So even though we are compatible in every way except sexual I should let him go.

 

Yes. I don't get why some people view sexual compatibility has an unnecessary part of a relationship. I guess some people still view it as a taboo, therefore meaning it''s only meant for certain people.

Take heed to the stories on here and the infidelity section.

 

Though those incidences are the minority to the representative population, they are still true.

They transpire because those unfaithful partners eventually meet people that they ARE sexually attracted to, which is something they lost or never had with their partner.

[Thegreatestthing]

I had the most awful week last week and my bf totally got me through it,there's no way I can leave him,argh wish I was sexually crazy about him.

[Thegreatestthing]

I did tell my friend I told him I thought he might be my soulmate,he said we should date and find out.

 

 

 

Because you are not your BF's biggest fan, let him go. He needs to be free to find somebody who loves him fully.

 

 

Then find your courage & tell your friend how you feel.

[BeholdtheMan]

I had the most awful week last week and my bf totally got me through it,there's no way I can leave him,argh wish I was sexually crazy about him.

 

You are a user. You're using your BF as an emotional crutch while you ponder what it would be like to be with a man who actually turns you on

 

Would you like to be used this way? Would you like a BF who doesn't find you sexually attractive but who keeps you around because "she helps me get through bad days"?

 

Do you see how you're treating your BF as plan B. Soon, you're going to run into a man who is both emotionally supportive and sexually attractive. At that point, you're going to either cheat on him or dump him.

 

Your BF deserves better than you. He deserves a woman who actually finds him attractive, not an emotional user

[Doglover0261]

I did tell my friend I told him I thought he might be my soulmate,he said we should date and find out.

 

 

Jeez let your BF go already. You obviously don't care about him enough to set him free so he can find someone that won't use him only as a shoulder to cry on. You sound pretty selfish, you already have your cake and want to eat it too.

[PegNosePete]

So even though we are compatible in every way except sexual I should let him go.

No. You should let him go because you are treating him like crap. How would you feel if he was going around talking to other women, saying he didn't find you sexually attractive, but did fancy some action with them?

 

You are treating him and your relationship with no respect whatsoever. If I were your BF and I found out what you were saying behind my back, you'd be dumped so fast I'd have to Fed-Ex your shadow to you.

 

You are treating your BF incredibly badly. Just stop it, or break up. Karma will bite you in the ass, you know.

[smackie9]

Thegeatestthing, what you have here is what is called co-dependancy. Please read up on it, and understand this is a unhealthy way to have a relationship.

[NJ123]

Leave your boyfriend, possibly date this other guy, but if it don't work out with him don't try to get back with the boyfriend you left.

[Thegreatestthing]

You are so right,he doesn't deserve that at all,thanks fior giving me something to think about.

 

 

No. You should let him go because you are treating him like crap. How would you feel if he was going around talking to other women, saying he didn't find you sexually attractive, but did fancy some action with them?

 

You are treating him and your relationship with no respect whatsoever. If I were your BF and I found out what you were saying behind my back, you'd be dumped so fast I'd have to Fed-Ex your shadow to you.

 

You are treating your BF incredibly badly. Just stop it, or break up. Karma will bite you in the ass, you know.

[whichwayisup]

I do care for him,I'm happy in the relationship just not hugely sexually attracted like I am to my friend.

 

my friend has asked to date me before,but as soon as he found out I was in a relationship he stopped doing that.I told him I was not sexually attracted to my bf and he never said anything about that,he just asked me what he's gimmick was? I don't really know what that means.

 

You are wasting your boyfriends time. This relationship isn't long term, so the more time you spend with your boyfriend, the more he's attached to you. You know the R is going nowhere, so END IT now. Leading him on and using him (so you have someone/companionship) isn't fair to him.

 

Your friend has backed off because it seems he is not the type to get involved with someone who has a boyfriend.

[whichwayisup]

I had the most awful week last week and my bf totally got me through it,there's no way I can leave him,argh wish I was sexually crazy about him.

 

So, you're staying with him out pity and obligation, for selfish reasons?

 

If you truly and genuinely care about your boyfriend, you'd end it and set him free so he can find a woman who will love and adore ONLY him.

[whichwayisup]

I did tell my friend I told him I thought he might be my soulmate,he said we should date and find out.

 

Okay, I take back what I said about your friend - He isn't backing off, I misunderstood before.

 

Again, the only option now is, break up with your boyfriend. Cheating on him is cruel and he doesn't deserve that treatment from you. He's better off hurting now than later when he finds out you're dating someone else, aka your soul mate.

[Thegreatestthing]

My friend said that before I had a bf ,and has def. backed off since finding out,he was cheated on by his ex gf,so no way would he pursue anything with me admist that.

 

I told him I wanted to end things with my bf because he had never heard of a certain book I was half joking,he said you should teach him about this book,so really no way would he encourage any sort of break up.surely if he liked me as he'd said before he would have done something with that.

 

it wouldn't be fair to my bf at all to keep talking to the friend,infact I haven't replied to any of his emails since.

 

Okay, I take back what I said about your friend - He isn't backing off, I misunderstood before.

 

Again, the only option now is, break up with your boyfriend. Cheating on him is cruel and he doesn't deserve that treatment from you. He's better off hurting now than later when he finds out you're dating someone else, aka your soul mate.