I don't understand, why..?

[Vices-Virtues]

He does it because you allow it.

 

When you leave him (and I hope you will) he will find his next victim.

 

.

 

Do you not care about what happens to the next girl? I rather it be me then someone else. I have dealt with it long enough . I don't mind following all the way through with it. It could be worse for the next girl.

[Vices-Virtues]

First off, I read one of your other posts - you are in your teens correct? This is just a perfect way to be introduced to relationships. You have a winner on your hands here.

 

 

First off to answer your question "Who will accept him for who he is". The answer to that is NO ONE, including yourself, should accept him for who he is. What he is, is an angry, controlling, abusive coward who thinks it is OK to smack a woman around. That is unacceptable by any standard. It is also unacceptable for you to tolerate this treatment of yourself. Do you not have any more pride, self respect, or concern for your safety than this?

 

 

Why should you be there for him? He certainly isn't "there for you", unless you consider being hit and otherwise abused some warped version of how he is "there for you" as well.

 

 

It is not your job to fix him, you cannot fix him - he is broken and he has to fix himself, if that is even possible. Perhaps you leaving him will be the motivation he needs to get the help he so desperately needs. You have no obligation to this man, none. You do however have an obligation to yourself - your happiness, your safety and your future. NONE of which you will EVER have with an abusive coward. You might as well kiss your chance of happiness goodbye if you choose to stay by his side. And likely your life as well.

 

 

You need to WAKE up and listen to what people are telling you. This man is not your "puppy" and your "baby" - he is a monster.

 

 

He doesn't beat the crap out of me everyday. It happens maybe once a week and not everytime is terrible . He will warn me before he does it and I tell him idgas because I honestly don't care anymore.

I do care for my safety, but his safety is before mine. If he can't hurt me he hurts his self. How can I just sit there and do nothing? You want me to watch him hit himself in the head and bang his hand into the wall?

Because I do not.

 

he does it because he thinks it fair, since I make him do things that he doesn't want to do.

I want to understand why he thinks that is fair, because that isn't fair because whatever I make him do doesn't cause him pain, just irritation and fustration.

[d0nnivain]

You say he loves you. People do not beat the crap out of people they love. Do you understand that? think about it this way -- every single time he touches you in anger & hurts you -- not just every full episode -- but every single touch, every slap, every punch, every choke hold, that is him telling you that he HATES your f'ing guts.

 

 

Now count up the times he has non -verbally through violence told you that he HATES you and count up all the times with words he has said I you. There are more HATES aren't there? What does that tell you.

 

 

If you love him, HELP him. As a 17 year old you by yourself don't have the skills. He needs professionals to make him love himself & be the man worthy of your love. First step, tell your parents. If you can't tell them, tell your therapist. Tell his parents. Tell the police. Do you understand by the way that him hitting you is a CRIME? If he stole money from you would you still love him? Would you think he still loves you?

 

 

With help from the adults around you, the two of you may be able to break the self destructive cycle you are on. Even though you said you would rather die by his hand then live another way, wouldn't you rather be happy & safe? That will only be possible if you get adults involved to help you both.

 

 

You say you want to understand why he thinks its fair to hit you. He hits you because he is mentally ill. If he had cancer you'd encourage him to go to a doctor. So get him the medical help he needs for this. You may be saving his life.

Edited December 3, 2014 by d0nnivain

[GemmaUK]

If you want to understand him then you have a lot of reading up to do.

 

 

You will then know how things will go.

 

 

Get your funeral all sorted and paid for. It is pretty imminent from the level you say he is at.

 

 

My Mum - in her first marriage was thrown against the wall after he threw the dinner she had cooked at the same wall (the last of many abusive moments).

 

 

She only had three broken bones that night - she was lucky. He didn't punch her that night either.

He did kick her ribs in after she landed on the floor though. She loved him too - same as you do your man.

 

 

He only had moods once a month or so though.

 

 

She left with only the clothes on her back in a country she was not used to and with one friend and no family, and those broken bones.

 

 

She got away and then met my Dad. she would have been long dead if she hadn't got away. I wouldn't even be here if she hadn't.

[evanescentworld]

There is only one thing marginally more pleasant than reading this thread, and the virtual suicide this girl is headed for, and that is pouring ground glass into my eyes, pushing needles under my nails and dental-flossing with emery wire.

It's blissful by comparison.

[anika99]

If I give up on him who will be there for him when he needs someone? Who will love him? Who will accept him for who he is? Without me he has no one..

How can I leave someone who has nothing but me??

He talks about how he hates his self and that everythingn is so hard and no one understands him. Why should I leave someone who says they keep thinking of committing suicide??

I just wanted answers on how to understand him and his thinking , not that I need to leave him. I am afraid to leave him because I am scared for what he will do to himself. No one knows what goes on in his head, I barely know. It is so hard to get him to open up.

If I leave him and I find out he kills himself I will blame myself. I would hate myself to the point where I will probably do the same.

 

Can you walk away from a starving puppy alone in the world?

Can you walk away from a baby who has no one?

No you can't and I can't leave him because he is my puppy and my baby.

 

So please quit telling me all these horrible things about staying with him and about him because yall don't know the full story. Everything has been rough for him before I came along and I have helped fix him a bit I just need to understand someone who is so ****ed up in the head so I can help him so he doesn't feel the way he feels.

 

I love him, even if you don't think it is love.

He makes me feel content.

 

Abusers are excellent manipulators. Of course he turns to threats of suicide and acts remorseful and sorry. All abusers do that. I'm sorry girl but your abuser is not special. Start surfing the net for stories of abuse and you will see that everyone tells pretty much the same story. Everyone thinks that their abuser is special and that their relationship is special and that they are the only one who could rescue their abuser.

 

 

You are still HS for crying out loud! This should be the best time of your life, you shouldn't be putting up with this crap. Hopefully you have no plans in the near future to live with or marry this guy because the moment he gets you living under the same roof as him his abuse will escalate 10 fold and your ability to leave him will be greatly diminished. It is very sad that you are mistaking this relationship for love. You might love him but he really doesn't love you. I'm sure he tells you he loves you, probably even cries real tears while he says it, but he doesn't know what real love is and he isn't capable or really loving you. I think you should talk to one or both of your parents about this. You are extremely naïve where this guy is concerned.

[bathtub-row]

I don't allow it. I accept it.

When he does it I tell him to stop n think about what he is doing. He won't stop until I leave the scene or until he breaks down.

You act like I just let him hurt me. I don't I restrain. Sometimes I will hit him back but all it does is make it worse.

 

Everyone has those times where they get pissed at someone they love and they gets the urge to hit them. EVERYONE. The only difference is that some people can't hold it back n end up following through with it.

 

Sadly, you're completely missing the point. By staying, you're allowing it. Period. You don't want to listen to reason and you don't want to believe that there is no fixing this guy. The only thing I would suggest is just read up on abuse. Maybe it will all sink in at some point before he completely destroys you.

[Vices-Virtues]

Abusers are excellent manipulators. Of course he turns to threats of suicide and acts remorseful and sorry. All abusers do that. I'm sorry girl but your abuser is not special. Start surfing the net for stories of abuse and you will see that everyone tells pretty much the same story. Everyone thinks that their abuser is special and that their relationship is special and that they are the only one who could rescue their abuser.

 

 

You are still HS for crying out loud! This should be the best time of your life, you shouldn't be putting up with this crap. Hopefully you have no plans in the near future to live with or marry this guy because the moment he gets you living under the same roof as him his abuse will escalate 10 fold and your ability to leave him will be greatly diminished. It is very sad that you are mistaking this relationship for love. You might love him but he really doesn't love you. I'm sure he tells you he loves you, probably even cries real tears while he says it, but he doesn't know what real love is and he isn't capable or really loving you. I think you should talk to one or both of your parents about this. You are extremely naïve where this guy is concerned.

 

 

He has never cried except 3 times since I've been with him and it was always something about how he feels or his past. It was never after he has hit me or before.

 

When he told me about his suicidal thoughts it was never when we were arguing it was always when we were just laying in bed together.

 

I do plan on being with him in the future and having his children. We have plans after we graudate to go to Canada or somewhere up north.

 

He will sit there and tell him to stop whatever I'm doing thats pissing him off and tell me he feels like he is about to hit me and I don't care. I tell him I don't care, because I need to g et my point across.

 

Yall act like every abuser is the same. That is not the case here.

[Zahara]

I do plan on being with him in the future and having his children. We have plans after we graudate to go to Canada or somewhere up north.

 

I wish to god that there was a way to stop people like this from bringing children into this world.

 

Having been abused as a child and having seen my mother abused by my father, THE LAST THING YOU DO IS BRING CHILDREN INTO A VIOLENT AND DYSFUNCTIONAL SITUATION.

 

You speak of this with pride when it's repulsive, downright irresponsible, selfish and ignorant.

 

If you want to screw your life up, by all means go ahead and do it. Just don't bring children into your dysfunction.

[Vices-Virtues]

I wish to god that there was a way to stop people like this from bringing children into this world.

 

Having been abused as a child and having seen my mother abused by my father, THE LAST THING YOU DO IS BRING CHILDREN INTO A VIOLENT AND DYSFUNCTIONAL SITUATION.

 

.

 

Wether or not he still hurts me when that time comes he would never do anything like that in front of our children. He is not dumb. That fact that isnrisk of him getting caught he wouldn't even do something like that around them.

 

Hopefully he won't be doing it in the future in general.

 

I do not speak with this as pride, I speak with it as honesty.

[anika99]

I'm sorry but it's disgusting that you are planning to have children with a physical abuser. What give you the right to inflict that situation on children and spare me the excuses or rationalizations that he won't abuse you in front of the kids. He almost certainly will and he will most likely abuse your kids as well, but even if he doesn't, a child cannot have a happy childhood when their mother is being abused. Please do not be so selfish and self centred to have children with this man. That would make you even worse than him.

 

 

Oh and I live in Canada so please don't bring your abuser up here, we don't need anymore of his kind.

[Zahara]

Wether or not he still hurts me when that time comes he would never do anything like that in front of our children. He is not dumb. That fact that isnrisk of him getting caught he wouldn't even do something like that around them.

 

Hopefully he won't be doing it in the future in general.

 

I do not speak with this as pride, I speak with it as honesty.

 

How do you know?

 

That's the same damn thing my mother told my grandmother. And she married him and his violence transferred to his children.

 

It has nothing to do with dumb. That's an ignorant statement to make. It shows how little you know what abusers are capable of and the root and extent of their dysfunction.

 

And even if he doesn't hit his kids, CHILDREN THAT WITNESS ABUSE become damaged.

 

What has this got to do with honesty? ""Honest" about predicting what your idiot boyfriend is going to do when you have kids years from now. Another ignorant statement.

 

You speak like a know it all teenager. You seem to think you know the way of the world at 17 just because you see it from a very skewed, entitled and narrowed lense. Years from now, hopefully when your eyes have finally opened but sadly when too much damage has been done, you'll look back and knock yourself on the head for not listening.

Edited December 4, 2014 by Zahara

[me85]

I was in your shoes in my last RS. I promise you it will only get worse. This will cause you so much more damage than you can ever imagine. I know.

[Vices-Virtues]

How do you know?

 

That's the same damn thing my mother told my grandmother. And she married him and his violence transferred to his children.

 

It has nothing to do with dumb. That's an ignorant statement to make. It shows how little you know what abusers are capable of and the root and extent of their dysfunction.

 

And even if he doesn't hit his kids, CHILDREN THAT WITNESS ABUSE become damaged.

 

What has this got to do with honesty? ""Honest" about predicting what your idiot boyfriend is going to do when you have kids years from now. Another ignorant statement.

 

You speak like a know it all teenager. You seem to think you know the way of the world at 17 just because you see it from a very skewed, entitled and narrowed lense.

 

I speak as I am myself. I speak the truth. We are all ****ed up in some kind of way, no one is perfect. I have realized that with myself and him. I know he won't, because he knows the consequence if he does.

 

Wether or not we have children in the future, doesn't matter. It won't make a difference in the world. There are thousands of children's who have terrible life's and who have no homes at all, but there is no one fixing that is there?

There are thousands of animals he killed everyday and breed to be killed, but we aren't fixing that either? No we aren't, all we do is encourage all of those things to keep happening.

 

I am nothing like the kids my age. If you rather me go suck up every guy and **** every guy in my school and fight "hoes" for dumb ****, then you can call me whatever you want.

 

No one knows everything, I am learning on my way about things and the decisions I should make.. All I know is what I have already learn. I came on here to learn other things and situations that other people have been in so I can take it into consideration in the future to help me make decisions when those times come.

[Vices-Virtues]

I was in your shoes in my last RS. I promise you it will only get worse. This will cause you so much more damage than you can ever imagine. I know.

 

You have not been in my shoes, maybe in the same situations , but our abuser and RS is different.

Idk what happened in yours, idk how your bf/gf felt about you or why he did what he did.

 

Mine is controlling his much much better than what it has dropped to before. He is trying hard to fix things, but everything takes time. He doesn't believe it will stop until I fix my problems that are causing him to react the way he does about it.

[Zahara]

There are thousands of children's who have terrible life's and who have no homes at all, but there is no one fixing that is there?

 

There are thousands of animals he killed everyday and breed to be killed, but we aren't fixing that either? No we aren't, all we do is encourage all of those things to keep happening.

 

Just like the baby and puppy analogies. You make no sense. You come up with all sorts of ludicrious and deflective statements to justify your actions.

 

I am nothing like the kids my age. If you rather me go suck up every guy and **** every guy in my school and fight "hoes" for dumb ****, then you can call me whatever you want.

 

Again, you can't see past your own nose to absorb anything anyone is telling you.

 

It's futile. You will learn the hard and painful way. You're going to be one of those women that will one day look back and regret with deep pain and sorrow for having made bad decisions in your life.

 

Good luck to you.

Edited December 4, 2014 by Zahara

[me85]

You have not been in my shoes, maybe in the same situations , but our abuser and RS is different.

Idk what happened in yours, idk how your bf/gf felt about you or why he did what he did.

 

Mine is controlling his much much better than what it has dropped to before. He is trying hard to fix things, but everything takes time. He doesn't believe it will stop until I fix my problems that are causing him to react the way he does about it.

 

Why did you come here if you refuse to take advice? "Our situation isn't the same" not entirely, no but I was in an abusive RS. They're all the damn same girl. You're deluding yourself. You need counseling just as much as your bf does. He's already brainwashed you into believing YOU'RE the problem just like ALL abusive/controlling men do.

 

 

How is he trying hard to fix things? By telling you he can't change and be better until you change and be better??

[Vices-Virtues]

Why did you come here if you refuse to take advice? "Our situation isn't the same" not entirely, no but I was in an abusive RS. They're all the damn same girl. You're deluding yourself. You need counseling just as much as your bf does. He's already brainwashed you into believing YOU'RE the problem just like ALL abusive/controlling men do.

 

 

How is he trying hard to fix things? By telling you he can't change and be better until you change and be better??

 

 

Everytime I bring up breaking up, he gets mad and basically tells me no. Just curious as to what you think about that , why does he not want me to leave in your opinion?

 

They are not all the same. Was your diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Multiple personality disorder?

[Vices-Virtues]

 

It's futile. You will learn the hard and painful way. You're going to be one of those women that will one day look back and regret with deep pain and sorrow for having made bad decisions in your life.

 

Good luck to you.

 

I would rather learn the hard way, taking the easy way out will not accomplish anything, the easy route would just take me back into the same situation. I will not regret anything.

[me85]

Everytime I bring up breaking up, he gets mad and basically tells me no. Just curious as to what you think about that , why does he not want me to leave in your opinion?

 

They are not all the same. Was your diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Multiple personality disorder?

 

Oh Jesus, we'd all be diagnosed with something if we went and saw a shrink long enough. He doesn't want you to leave because he wants to have control over what you do. You're an item to him. Not a person. He's messed up in the head. He's codependent on you. I tried the whole counseling thing with my ex. We went to like 2 sessions and he was defensive so we quit going.

 

No one can tell you what to do but whatever you do think about yourself and how you feel FIRST. Don't keep putting your bf's needs and wants before your own.

 

They are all the same. I've seen friends and family of mine (women) go through abuse in their RS. I grew up with it all around me. I was abused as a child. My father was abusive to my mother. & my last RS was volatile. I've experience it first hand and seen it in many different cases for other people around me. Those guys were all the same. Can you say the same or are you just basing everything off of your one experience with your current boyfriend?

[Vices-Virtues]

Oh Jesus, we'd all be diagnosed with something if we went and saw a shrink long enough. He doesn't want you to leave because he wants to have control over what you do. You're an item to him. Not a person. He's messed up in the head. He's codependent on you. I tried the whole counseling thing with my ex. We went to like 2 sessions and he was defensive so we quit going.

 

No one can tell you what to do but whatever you do think about yourself and how you feel FIRST. Don't keep putting your bf's needs and wants before your own.

 

They are all the same. I've seen friends and family of mine (women) go through abuse in their RS. I grew up with it all around me. I was abused as a child. My father was abusive to my mother. & my last RS was volatile. I've experience it first hand and seen it in many different cases for other people around me. Those guys were all the same. Can you say the same or are you just basing everything off of your one experience with your current boyfriend?

 

He says he loves me because I make him feel content .

 

I do not think they are the same. My aunt tends to date guys that beat her to the point she's in the hospital because she likes it when they're angry and do it. Her ex literally almost killed her and she never pressed charges , because she is f up.

I would never let him go that far not do I think he would let his self go that far. He wouldn't kill me because he needs me.

 

I think that every abuser has a reason they do what they do.

Honestly if they try to kill you I believe it's pure hatred.

[me85]

He says he loves me because I make him feel content .

 

I do not think they are the same. My aunt tends to date guys that beat her to the point she's in the hospital because she likes it when they're angry and do it. Her ex literally almost killed her and she never pressed charges , because she is f up.

I would never let him go that far not do I think he would let his self go that far. He wouldn't kill me because he needs me.

 

 

I think that every abuser has a reason they do what they do.

Honestly if they try to kill you I believe it's pure hatred.

 

I'm going to say this and then I'm going to wish you the very best of luck because I think there is no getting through to you. I'm sorry but you seem very close minded and unwilling to get yourself out of a very bad situation. You seem to think you're in control of the situation. That "you would never let it get that far." so why have you let is get this far already? Why are you tolerating ANY kind of abuse whatsoever? Are you insecure? Do you have no where else to turn? Do you think you deserve it? Do you think you don't deserve anyone better?

 

He loves you for the way you make him feel. He doesn't love you just for being who you are and what you are. He doesn't love you for you, he loves you for him. Do you understand? He's not telling you, I love you because you're smart, funny, pretty, kind, wonderfully big hearted and compassionate and forgiving even when others may not be in a bad situation...etc. He doesn't love you for who are at all.

 

The very best of luck to you.

Edited December 4, 2014 by me85

[bathtub-row]

Everytime I bring up breaking up, he gets mad and basically tells me no. Just curious as to what you think about that , why does he not want me to leave in your opinion?

 

They are not all the same. Was your diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Multiple personality disorder?

 

Every time you bring up breaking up, he gets mad and tells you no. OMG, that actually made me laugh. First of all, all abusers say this. Nothing new under the sun. As far as telling you no, it's not really his choice if you're the one who decides to leave. You do get that part, right?

 

Why does he not want you to leave? Because it makes him feel good to control and abuse you. I'm not being dramatic and I'm not making this up. It makes abusers feel powerful. They refuse to give up this power. You don't believe this because it's not a part of your mental landscape. But do not ever underestimate him and do not ever make the mistake of thinking that he thinks in any way like you do. I'm not even going to bring love into the equation because it's not relevant, even though you think it is. Love does not trump abuse. Game over.

 

Of course he doesn't want you to leave! You're his to abuse and if you ever start acting like you're going to leave, he will pull out all the stops to suck you back in. Let me guess, he doesn't like you hanging out with anyone other than him, right? He doesn't like your friends and he doesn't like your family. He subtly puts people down so that you won't like them, or so that you won't invite them over because you know he doesn't like them. Slowly, you start pulling away from everyone to hide your bruises and to keep him from being around people he doesn't like (which is, basically, everyone). You think this sick form of possessiveness is love. What it actually is is his way of slowly spinning a web around you where you have no one to turn to when he really amps up the abuse. Someday, you'll forget who you are.

 

What difference does it make if he is diagnosed with bi-polar or with ADD or mad cow disease?? The bottom line still does not change. He is who he is and the years will not make him better. Marriage will multiply your problems times 10. I guarantee that.

 

You should also be aware that if people make a threat in either a calm moment or a heated one -- it's still a threat. Make no mistake. You have become conditioned to abuse and simply cannot see how bizarre your attitude and behavior is to others. It's actually very sad.

 

The other scary truth is that even when he's not being abusive to you, he is still being abusive. You're being abused 24/7, you just don't know it. Do you know why I say that? It's because even in the good times, you know that at any point in time, he can lose his temper or he can strike you. Out of the blue. You continually walk on eggshells. This keeps you on guard at all times, which means that the abuse is always ongoing. He fools you with the good times, you occupy your time trying to figure him out and continue asking why and what can you do and how could you leave and what a horrible sad life he's had...blah, blah, blah. Again, the bottom line is always the bottom line and it never changes. He's abusive and mean-spirited. I am not concerned about his sweet, tender side. I'm not concerned about any of it. Your argument about no one being perfect is also completely ridiculous. We're not talking about perfection. We're talking about a very twisted mind and about you involving yourself into this sick life. Not only that, but you somehow think that having children with this guy is a good idea. It will end up being just another way for him to control you and make you miserable. Not to mention bringing children into such a torturous situation. You'll be raising little abusers, or people who grow up letting themselves be abused. And the cycle goes on and on...

 

The truth is, you haven't said one single thing yet to make us think there's anything different about this guy from other abusers. Not one thing. I actually think this post may be a joke because it's so outrageously ridiculous. I'm hoping it is, anyway.

Edited December 4, 2014 by bathtub-row

[Vices-Virtues]

Every time you bring up breaking up, he gets mad and tells you no. OMG, that actually made me laugh. First of all, all abusers say this. Nothing new under the sun. As far as telling you no, it's not really his choice if you're the one who decides to leave. You do get that part, right?

 

Why does he not want you to leave? Because it makes him feel good to control and abuse you. I'm not being dramatic and I'm not making this up. It makes abusers feel powerful. They refuse to give up this power. You don't believe this because it's not a part of your mental landscape. But do not ever underestimate him and do not ever make the mistake of thinking that he thinks in any way like you do. I'm not even going to bring love into the equation because it's not relevant, even though you think it is. Love does not trump abuse. Game over.

 

Of course he doesn't want you to leave! You're his to abuse and if you ever start acting like you're going to leave, he will pull out all the stops to suck you back in. Let me guess, he doesn't like you hanging out with anyone other than him, right? He doesn't like your friends and he doesn't like your family. He subtly puts people down so that you won't like them, or so that you won't invite them over because you know he doesn't like them. Slowly, you start pulling away from everyone to hide your bruises and to keep him from being around people he doesn't like (which is, basically, everyone). You think this sick form of possessiveness is love. What it actually is is his way of slowly spinning a web around you where you have no one to turn to when he really amps up the abuse. Someday, you'll forget who you are.

 

What difference does it make if he is diagnosed with bi-polar or with ADD or mad cow disease?? The bottom line still does not change. He is who he is and the years will not make him better. Marriage will multiply your problems times 10. I guarantee that.

 

You should also be aware that if people make a threat in either a calm moment or a heated one -- it's still a threat. Make no mistake. You have become conditioned to abuse and simply cannot see how bizarre your attitude and behavior is to others. It's actually very sad.

 

The other scary truth is that even when he's not being abusive to you, he is still being abusive. You're being abused 24/7, you just don't know it. Do you know why I say that? It's because even in the good times, you know that at any point in time, he can lose his temper or he can strike you. Out of the blue. You continually walk on eggshells. This keeps you on guard at all times, which means that the abuse is always ongoing. He fools you with the good times, you occupy your time trying to figure him out and continue asking why and what can you do and how could you leave and what a horrible sad life he's had...blah, blah, blah. Again, the bottom line is always the bottom line and it never changes. He's abusive and mean-spirited. I am not concerned about his sweet, tender side. I'm not concerned about any of it. Your argument about no one being perfect is also completely ridiculous. We're not talking about perfection. We're talking about a very twisted mind and about you involving yourself into this sick life. Not only that, but you somehow think that having children with this guy is a good idea. It will end up being just another way for him to control you and make you miserable. Not to mention bringing children into such a torturous situation. You'll be raising little abusers, or people who grow up letting themselves be abused. And the cycle goes on and on...

 

The truth is, you haven't said one single thing yet to make us think there's anything different about this guy from other abusers. Not one thing. I actually think this post may be a joke because it's so outrageously ridiculous. I'm hoping it is, anyway.

 

He hates that he does that. He ONLY gets controlling when I make him frustrated. I am in control of our relationship if anything. Everything I say goes.

 

 

You are wrong.. he lets me hang out with other people, if anything he encourages me too. I don't like hanging out with other people, I would prefer just him 24/7, but music is a top priority to him right now..

But you are right about him not liking my family, but he also doesn't like his family. He hates them.

I was never close with anyone, except my mom, but now I don't like being around her.

Edited December 5, 2014 by Vices-Virtues

[bathtub-row]

He hates that he does that. He ONLY gets controlling when I make him frustrated. I am in control of our relationship if anything. Everything I say goes.

 

 

You are wrong.. he lets me hang out with other people, if anything he encourages me too. I don't like hanging out with other people, I would prefer just him 24/7, but music is a top priority to him right now..

But you are right about him not liking my family, but he also doesn't like his family. He hates them.

I was never close with anyone, except my mom, but now I don't like being around her.

 

You believe that he hates what he does based on what? Because he tells you that? Right. That would explain why he keeps doing it.

 

Well, again, if you're in control and you're happy with the way things are, then I say stay and have 12 kids with the guy. There's really nothing to talk about. If you still want to understand him, then read up on the subject. That way, the next time he hits you, you will at least know why he does it and I'm sure that will make things all better.