Helen A Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Still here lurking in a much better place now though. Have not disclosed anything but working on myself and my life and keeping away from people that I should. Have only seen my 'friends' once this year and she doesn't make any effort to contact me so I think now that ive come to my senses it's for the best. Very odd though, April we last saw them & only lately the MM has started to contact me again. It started only last month with happy birthday. I thought how random but he has been sending them about once a week / two weeks. NOTHING innapropriate just chat. I don't like it anymore though. On the weekend he started up again menrioning porn and starting up the filth, so I did not reply. Monday I had another one saying got bored did you didn't answer. I ignored the text message. Three days later Thursday, today, ive received one saying Im shocked that you didn't reply to me the other day. Now, I'm a million miles better than the crazy I was, Im really not interested in him or them anymore, and I haven't replied again today. I know it's rude and I hate people not replying to me, but what really is there to say? I'm working on my marriage now and we are ok. What would you do, any advice? Thanks 3 Link to post Share on other sites
herself Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 The obvious...block. It's your only protection against a weak moment. It's closure, the upper hand even silly as it seems. Deep down this may be an ego stroke for you to be receiving these texts and when he gives up you may start to think more...be tempted to stir him back...who knows. You were weak to it once. If you're truly done...delete and block and close any more ways to reaching you. Let the past be the past. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 No, honest, I feel nothing. No temptation. I'm just wondering why he's doing this now and how weird it is, since it's been NC for months. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyc_user Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 whats MM? (married man?) Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Betsy I was only thinking about you the other day and was going to PM you to see how you were doing. It does sound like you are making progress however you are still not there yet. If you were, you would not be trying to figure out why he has got in touch with you again. You do need to block him. Being rude to him is nothing in comparison to the disrespect continued contact shows for your husband and his wife. You know this is the case. You owe him nothing at all - thinking about him is time wasted and means some form of emotional investment (even if you think it isn't) in him. If he means nothing to you then you would not be giving him the headspace. Don't let him have this power over you again Betsy - you know how much it all got to you before, don't let it happen again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 No, honest, I feel nothing. No temptation. I'm just wondering why he's doing this now and how weird it is, since it's been NC for months. He's hoping you will start again with him. Silence tells him everything. Don't even respond. Why haven't you blocked him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 He's on a fishing expedition. Trying his luck. You are doing so very well. IF you continue to reply to him for whatever reason, you will put yourself back exactly where you were and it gets harder and harder each time to get out of it. NC is the only way. Block him. You don't owe him anything, not even a response to his texts. For the love of God, put yourself first and stop thinking about the whys and wherefores of him. What does it matter if the relationship is over? Forget him.... he isn't contacting you for your good, just for his own. Cheers, Poppy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 Betsy I was only thinking about you the other day and was going to PM you to see how you were doing. * thanks anne * No, I'm just thinking it's really strange why months go by and then he suddenly picks up doing this again. And having the cheek to just keep on and on, invading my space, asking me why I haven't text. I wouldn't just randomly message someone I haven't spoken to in months. Odd. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 He was fishing. To see your reaction, if you'd reply back and start things up again. BLOCK HIM or change your number. Don't try to figure him out. Really, who cares.. You've moved on so don't waste any energy on wondering about him. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 It's obvious why he he is doing it. He's after restarting the affair and he thinks you will be too. You know this is what he doing. Just block him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
herself Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I looooved his response that he was "shocked" you didn't respond to him. Classic. Such ego. He was able to smugly stay NC because he had himself convinced you'd been pining for him all these months just hoping he would get in touch. He wants an ego stroke and a quick fix and it's not flattering. He thinks your an easy target. Please consider blocking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Right. I replied. ONLY because I ignored the other day and I hate ppl ignoring me, NO other reason. It was just about the holiday Im going on. He started mentioning you better watch porn it's everywhere on french TVs. I sent back really rudely I hardly think so Im taking my little one to euro Disney. You ladies are right. He's an utter creep. I feel so sick about what I did and how low I was. He's since sent 3 messages again, all of which ive ignored. And I'll ignore every one since now. No feeling bad. He's a low life dirty scumbag. I'm never answering again couldn't care less what he's thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 He was shocked because he was expecting you to do what you've always done in the past which is immediately respond. If you're not going to block him, why don't you ask him to not text you anymore? Tell him what you state here; that's there's nothing to talk about. Don't worry about being rude. Just be blunt and tell him to stop. You are feeding into his games by responding because you don't want to by rude. A lot of men enjoy the chase. Once he has you and fed his ego, he'll be gone again. You need to put your foot down and end this for good. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Right. I replied. ONLY because I ignored the other day and I hate ppl ignoring me, NO other reason. It was just about the holiday Im going on. He started mentioning you better watch porn it's everywhere on french TVs. I sent back really rudely I hardly think so Im taking my little one to euro Disney. You ladies are right. He's an utter creep. I feel so sick about what I did and how low I was. He's since sent 3 messages again, all of which ive ignored. And I'll ignore every one since now. No feeling bad. He's a low life dirty scumbag. I'm never answering again couldn't care less what he's thinking. You shouldn't have replied in the first place! You should not have cared before, so what if you ignore him? THERE IS A REASON why you're ignoring him, it's not like some real friend you're ignoring or being passive. Ignoring IS your response to him and silence says much more than words in your situation. Block him, change your number that way you won't read what he writes you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Right. I replied. ONLY because I ignored the other day and I hate ppl ignoring me, NO other reason. It was just about the holiday Im going on. He started mentioning you better watch porn it's everywhere on french TVs. I sent back really rudely I hardly think so Im taking my little one to euro Disney. You ladies are right. He's an utter creep. I feel so sick about what I did and how low I was. He's since sent 3 messages again, all of which ive ignored. And I'll ignore every one since now. No feeling bad. He's a low life dirty scumbag. I'm never answering again couldn't care less what he's thinking. You have no control over him or his attempts to make contact, YOU can only make change in your life. Block, block, and block some more. Anything less leaves the door open. Right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 One of the messages I ignored was ' the French love it I thought you'd be all over it' He was talking about porn on the telly Made me quite sick the way he thinks that he can speak to me, we haven't spoken in months. Ugh I'm so annoyed that I answered . What the hell was wrong with me?? Must of lost my mind. And he's an ugly git. Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 you should really think about informing his wife on what a total POS she is married to. what of your husband? are you still keeping him in the dark about this guy harassing you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 He is a ratbag in he? I know I was too, but ive left it be. He's persistent aswell I bluntly answered and still kept texting, then text again later and three times after I ignored him. I haven't said anything to my hubby no, this has been over all year, haven't spoke to them in ages. It's so random and strange. I'm disappointed in myself Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 obviously, it's not over because he keeps on texting you and you respond in some way or another. You've made some headway but you haven't extricated yourself completely from this situation. this person needs to be exposed even if it means coming to terms with your initial involvement. only then will you truly free yourself from all this. Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Betsy I was only thinking about you the other day and was going to PM you to see how you were doing. * thanks anne * No, I'm just thinking it's really strange why months go by and then he suddenly picks up doing this again. And having the cheek to just keep on and on, invading my space, asking me why I haven't text. I wouldn't just randomly message someone I haven't spoken to in months. Odd. Why is this odd? You have shown him that you are willing to compromise your M, his and your spouses by sneaking around. He's a cheater and a liar as you once were but now you are not. It's really not that odd. He's a cheater and that is what they do. If you are really serious about getting this loser out of your life permanently tell your DH that he is sending you dirty pictures. Learning to share things like this with your DH shows that you are serious about not hiding things. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Betsy It still comes down to what are YOU going to do about this. Have you blocked him yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 As long as you don't shut him down loud and clear by sending him a NC letter and then blocking him. he Will believe there is hope and keep coming back. Decide you're done and then be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I can't understand why you are still responding to the man.... do you think he cares whether you are polite or not? NO just as long as he gets what he wants. Get a grip on yourself. NO RESPONSE will speak louder than anything. Poppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 He's not sending me dirty pictures not anymore. No I haven't blocked him but I won't respond again, he obv can't be tidy and we can't be friends again. Tbh. I don't want to see them again. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Why do you refuse to block him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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