Darren2013 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 For those who don't know what that stands for it is public display of affection. Regardless if you believe in it or not I think that's one of those important compatibility things to look for in a mate. If one mate wants PDA and the other doesn't then most likely it's going to be a huge deal-breaker and the relationship won't get very far. As for me I am not a believer in PDA. I like to keep any and all affections private and behind closed doors. Besides I don't think the rest of the world really cares to see me and my girlfriend kissing in public and majority are probably thinking to themselves "How inappropriate. Get a room!". So yeah I'm not comfortable with PDA and hopefully if and when I have a next girlfriend she feels the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 That isn't really surprising, considering that you were only planning to tell her that you loved her, twice. That was you, wasn't it? Did you have a nice Thanksgiving, Darren? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 hey darren there are appropriate public displays of affection rather than inappropriate......i don't think anyone gets offended when couples hold hands.....or kiss cheeks..........you are right there are public displays of affection that should be private but you can compromise and show a restrained amount of affection that you are comfortable with and that your partner appreciates....deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I hate PDA when it is over the top... I've been to like the main park in our downtown city and it was gross to see people just eating each other's mouths in broad daylight - especially in a place where kids also go. Now, late nite, like at a club or us walking to our cars late at nite - yes, I've gone into some heavy petting/kissing. I mean, IMO, there's at time/place for everything. I hate women who "hang" their arm/body around a guy to let every one know "he's mine" I do think some of it is cute. Like a guy or gal putting their hands in one or the other's back pocket is cute. I just finished watching that Mitty movie and at the end he finally gets confidence and stuff and just reaches over and holds Kristen's Wiig's hand and I thought that was just right. It wasn't "over the top", possessive, it just came natural...very cute. It's hard for me to hug people I really care for. But, I make the effort cuz I know it means something to them. My closer friends and family members know my preference and even joke like 'ok, we got it, no hugs/kisses'. But I can see the disappointment on their faces. So, I do try to come out of my shell and give out some sugar... I don't "require" it, but if a man recoils if I reach out to him...makes me wonder what his motivation is (i.e. he has another chick out there that we might run into?) Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 We were all over each other on the Jubilee line yesterday. It was a race against time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 No I'm not into PDA but I'm into being in his personal space. I love walking side-by-side with the shoulders and length of our arms touching. This is why I like guys around my height. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I have always held hands or linked arms with men I am dating & continue to do so with DH. We may give each other quick pecks on the lips but French kissing or making out is better behind closed door or at least in the car. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 For those who don't know what that stands for it is public display of affection. Regardless if you believe in it or not I think that's one of those important compatibility things to look for in a mate. If one mate wants PDA and the other doesn't then most likely it's going to be a huge deal-breaker and the relationship won't get very far. As for me I am not a believer in PDA. I like to keep any and all affections private and behind closed doors. Besides I don't think the rest of the world really cares to see me and my girlfriend kissing in public and majority are probably thinking to themselves "How inappropriate. Get a room!". So yeah I'm not comfortable with PDA and hopefully if and when I have a next girlfriend she feels the same way. You're not comfortable with a lot of things about relationships. I wonder if you've been or should get therapy to deal with your issues with common human interactions. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I don't care if others do it, but I'd never tolerate PDA in a relationship. Smaller stuff like a little goodbye kiss and hand-in-hand-walking are fine, but I've seen stuff like girl and guy holding and grabbing each others butts while walking, another time it was the guy only fumbling at his GFs butt, and then there was this time where a couple was spooning at a McDonald's. I guess actions like those were motivated by the girl in that one though, considering that the moment I sat down she was getting all giggly and kept looking in my direction while whispering to her boyfriend. Perhaps I should have told her that I'm not into threesomes or something. Other times, it's just too funny when there are girls trying to behave this way to show that their guy has been "claimed". Kind of sad when girls stick to BFs who indiscreetly check me out (and other woman nearby as well) but keep reaching for their heads to kiss all the time. Or that other time at Starbucks, I stared at the muffins, the guy behind me in the line too, and his GF nearly drove him crazy by suddenly asking ranodm questions nonstop. She didn't shut up the while 10 minutes both me and them waited for the coffee and food, kept trying to lay her arm around his waist and he just stood there nodding and "hm"-ing. Now that was some truly funny acting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I agree with the other posters. I'm not big on PDA AT ALL. Holding hands briefly or a quick peck is fine, but anything else should be saved for when we're alone. Had a date once that expected me to make out with him after the movies standing in the parking lot. This was just as the movies were letting out too. Big turn off, especially considering that we were both in our mid 30s and there were people walking all around us. I was SO uncomfortable and he seemed confused that I wasn't up for it. Needless to say, it was our last date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I noticed when I was in Hungary there was a lot more pda going on ,people in the parks just kissing etc,it was one of the big things I noticed ,you never see it here where I live at all,nor did I see it much in the USA.i think it's kind of sad really,I like to see passion and life in the streets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 If I'm dating someone, I don't mind if I'm doing PDA, but if I'm single and see others do it, then of course it would bother be. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 While I am not a touchy feely person with plantonic/familial relationships (I am not a hugger), with my husband, sure. We hold hands, link arms, kiss in public, he will grab my butt, etc. but we are respectful of others around us. We limit our PDAs when the kids are around because, well, it's gross! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 For those who don't know what that stands for it is public display of affection. Regardless if you believe in it or not I think that's one of those important compatibility things to look for in a mate. If one mate wants PDA and the other doesn't then most likely it's going to be a huge deal-breaker and the relationship won't get very far. As for me I am not a believer in PDA. I like to keep any and all affections private and behind closed doors. Besides I don't think the rest of the world really cares to see me and my girlfriend kissing in public and majority are probably thinking to themselves "How inappropriate. Get a room!". So yeah I'm not comfortable with PDA and hopefully if and when I have a next girlfriend she feels the same way. There is a sliding scale. PDA like holding hands or hugging on one side of the spectrum and full on making out on the other side. You need to match your comfortability for PDA with your mate and the people around you. Full on making out around strangers might be too much, but around very close friends might be OK, depending on your tastes. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 It all depends. Take my current and long time GF. She is quiet and shy. She likes hand holding when we are out in the public. Most times when I pick her up from work, I call her "Babe", "Muffin", "Sweety", but every once in awhile, in front over her co-workers "Legs". Almost always a quick kiss, and every once in while, again in front of her female co-workers, I'll reach back and give her bottom a good squeeze. Then she will act embarrassed, but the truth is she likes it when the bad boy in me comes out. It has been working for over 19 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 I love it. We hold hands everywhere we go, or he has his arm around me. Kissing is fine too... no French kissing, tongues etc, but general kissing. When I see a couple walking around clearly in love touching each other and in their own little world I think it's adorable, even if I'm single it always cheers me up. Fair enough not everyone feels that way about PDAs but it's up to people to manage their own reaction to normal every day stuff that they see going on around them, imo. People shouldn't feel they have to hold back just because some people dislike it. Although I wouldn't go for a full French kiss walking around the supermarket I'm happy that others feel comfortable enough to go for it! PDA is one of those things I can only bring myself to do with someone I'm in a relationship with, though. If I'm casually sleeping with someone and they try and hold my hand in public I can't hack it, to me it's a public expression that you're 'together'.. Maybe it's a little weird that sex in private is fine but hand holding in public isn't but there you have it. I remember a guy on a first date trying to touch me last year and me backing off wondering what he was doing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 I could take it or leave it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 What type of PDA are we talking here? I like to part my woman's bum as we walk, hence the reason am not cut out for a woman with a flat bum Link to post Share on other sites
Molly Hooper Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I think it boils down to appropriateness. I have never been a big fan of "PDA" - but holding hands and a quick kiss here and there in the right place was always okay with me... with any SO I was with. I am with you - it didn't have to do with how much I loved them, I just didn't feel like people wanted to see that and it didn't feel natural. My current partner, however, is a different story. It feels like gravity is pulling us together constantly. Now we are not making out while people are trying to have conversations with us or anything, but the closeness and touches are completely there and almost impossible to NOT do... it's impossible to describe without feeling, but it's almost unnatural to not have PDAs with him. Weirdly enough, he said the same thing as I did - that before our relationship, that he didn't like PDAs at all. If you hate PDAs and all your partner wants to do is make out with you in the middle of the mall, then yes, I suppose you need to have a conversation about comfort and appropriateness, but I think it all just depends on your partner and you and the "couple" that you are once your together. Ultimately... To each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyc_user Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) nvm........... Edited November 30, 2014 by Nyc_user Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 My current partner, however, is a different story. It feels like gravity is pulling us together constantly. Now we are not making out while people are trying to have conversations with us or anything, but the closeness and touches are completely there and almost impossible to NOT do... it's impossible to describe without feeling, but it's almost unnatural to not have PDAs with him. Weirdly enough, he said the same thing as I did - that before our relationship, that he didn't like PDAs at all. It's weird isn't it, with an ex of mine he hated PDAs and the most we'd ever do would be hold hands or a quick peck, and sometimes he didn't even want to hold hands. With another guy he wanted them but I really didn't, I couldn't bring myself to be affectionate in public with him, turned out I wasn't that into him but had been trying to force it I guess. With current partner I can't keep my hands off him and vice versa. It's lovely to be on the same page. It's like a magnet, we're just drawn completely to one another without thinking. Pretty delightful. Link to post Share on other sites
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Yes, I am. Im very tender and cant help but touch the person Im in love with. That being said, I dont feel comfortable with PDA that would also fall in the foreplay category, such as long french kisses, fondling, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 My ExW was big into PDA. Whenever we were out together, we were always holding hands, our arms interlinked, and quite often her hand in my back pocket. And you would be surprised how often stranger would comment how nice it was to see a young couple so much in love. At one of our favorite malls there was a Austrian bakery, and the lady who ran or owned it was insulted if we did not stop by and say hi. And she always gave us a free pastry, and refused to take out money. As she said it just made her feel good to see us together. After we broke up, the Ex came in with the OM and the owner let her have with both barrels. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I just didn't feel like people wanted to see that and it didn't feel natural. In most cases this is true, hence the "get a room" comment you usually hear people voice out. Link to post Share on other sites
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