I feel like it's a lose-lose situation

[AriesGirl803]

A little about me: 24, single female, have a BS, live alone and pay all my bills. My rent just went up this year and it's to the point where my rent now outweighs a 2 week paycheck. I have about $60,000 in debt from college and a car note.

 

 

I started working at my current job a year ago (originally I hadn't planned on being there for a long time) and I've fallen in love with it. But basically, there's some major downsides: one being that there is no room to grow, two being that as a female you can't grow in this area of the company regardless. It's very much the good ole boys club.

 

 

Anyhoo, I'm the jokester of our group. I like to make things light and have fun at work, FYI I don't work in an office, pretty much for the hospitality industry although I can't call the people we deal with "tourists" we see a lot of the same faces every day. When I started working here it was emphasized to me to connect with these people, "clients" for lack of a better word.

 

 

Normally, I get the job done all in good fun. What needs to be done is accomplished. The past couple months I have been pretty slack. The reason being is that the manager began giving a coworker management responsibilities. I took this extremely personally. I have been there the longest of the employees, and she has been there the shortest amount of time. But she is a very aggressive/manipulative/controlling type of person and it's clear to everyone that she wants to take over the place however she can.

 

 

As I said I'm the jokester and the GM and AM would joke around that I'm slack quite a bit (before I actually really started to be) we just had that type of camaradie going. Now I'm wondering if I've majorly messed up. Anyhoo, I was supposed to get a raise over the summer (our peak season when I was definitely working my ass off) and that time went by without a mention of it. I never asked the manager at the time because if he's always joking that I'm being lazy how could I ask him about that?? The irony is that the manager used to be just like me, and I think he can see that. He works very hard now because he has to but he used to be even more slack than I have ever been before he was promoted. He was just friends with the right person.

 

 

Back to me being slack these days...I just really gave up once he gave my coworker those privileges. Now my manager has told me that after being there for over a year I will not get a raise unless I "step it up" but I don't trust his words after last time. Our annual reviews are coming up in a few months so that's likely what he is referring to. I was shocked he was even addressing this to me, and did not bring up the summer raise issue in my confusion.

 

 

I realize that I don't deserve a raise just for the amount of time I've been there, but I have worked just as hard as everyone else (minus the evil coworker and up until a couple months ago). The clients, and even employees from other areas, love me. And I don't have a big ego I'm just speaking the truth. I have established several awesome bonds with other people out there, it's one reason I love my job. It's probably my strong suit but I don't see how that's necessarily a bad thing.

 

 

I am always getting picked on by management for bull**** that I shouldn't be. I am not a sensitive person and I like to have fun and I found this to be all in good fun at first, but lately it has become too much for me. I am the ONLY person who gets called out for doing things that EVERYONE ELSE is always doing. My coworkers have stated this and they agree with me--it's not just in my head. For example, employees can literally be standing around watching TV or lingering at the desk talking and the manager will say nothing to them. But if I dare come to the back and sit down, he immediately has a slew of smart ass comments for me. The tough thing is there isn't much for us to do right now (our slow season) so short of sitting at the desk, or leaving (losing hours and money) or hiding, I don't know what I can do. There's always busy work to be done, but it really is pointless and not things that can be done every day.

 

 

I feel like I am wasting my time here, as no promotion or raise is in sight and I have been here for over a year. The problem is finding another job that would start me at the same rate AND offer full benefits (sick, vacation, health/dental/vision insurance, 401K). And a job that I enjoy, I know from my old job and just talking to people that doing something you love makes a big difference.

 

 

I've thought of a couple options, I could quit and serve full time at the restaurant I work at once a week. No benefits, no vacation, but better money and only a 10 min drive as opposed to a 40 min one. The manager there is really awesome and it's also an easy going atmosphere. Of course, I'm not sure how happy I'd be waiting tables.

 

 

I could go back to school, but doing that while working full time would suck, especially depending on where/how I did it with the drive and all. Also, I already have a 4 year degree and I'm really not dying to rack up anymore debt, lol.

 

 

Or I could do both maybe? Or only go back to school part time? I've realized that to make good money and get benefits I HAVE to go back to school. FYI, I'm making less than $25 grand at my job now. And that's hourly, even if by some miracle I got a raise, I ultimately work for a corporation so it wouldn't be much. I just don't know what to do, any advice or support is welcome. I love my job, but I'm not happy knowing that I'm wasting my time, especially when my bills aren't going anywhere. Honestly, things would be a lot better for me probably if it wasn't for the evil coworker. I don't feel that I've been given a fair chance or taken seriously. Quite possibly it's my own doing...

[d0nnivain]

Rehabilitate your reputation. Nobody is going to give the office jokester more responsibility or a raise.

 

 

Simultaneously start sending out applications for a new better paying job with room to grow.

 

 

Also look to reduce your living expenses through a new apartment or a roommate if that is possible.

[AriesGirl803]

Rehabilitate your reputation. Nobody is going to give the office jokester more responsibility or a raise.

 

 

Simultaneously start sending out applications for a new better paying job with room to grow.

 

 

Also look to reduce your living expenses through a new apartment or a roommate if that is possible.

 

I agree with you, but I feel like it's futile at this point and hard to stay motivated when you're being treated unfairly. Some of the things that go down are enough to make me want to up and leave immediately, but I'm trying not to be rash and look at the bigger picture.

 

 

Better paying jobs with benefits and room to grow don't exist. I've started job hunting, it's pretty tough. I almost wish I hadn't ever gotten benefits so I wouldn't be so accustomed to them.

 

 

My lease is through next November so I can't change anything about that until then.

[pink_sugar]

I agree. I am in a similar spot. Best thing you can do is sit down and make a list of pros and cons to each idea. Remember, school doesn't always equal more money. Graduated a year ago and make $1 more per hour than I did before. If you really think school would benefit you, go part time while working full time and pay your own way rather than take out loans.

[GemmaUK]

Really honestly I think you have wrecked your reputation there and will never be taken seriously.

 

 

Also, a degree/academic qualifications do not necessarily make a person more employable.

At my company we avoid new grads.

Most companies I have worked for avoid new grads to be honest.

 

 

I would get looking for something else and get working hard and get a good reputation rather than being a joker.

 

 

Joker's are OK as long as they are pushing themselves as much as the rest of the staff are - personal situations aside because no one else's performance should have any effect upon your own.

In my Co. We get rid of jokers fast if they don't do the work.

[preraph]

If your rent is more than what you make, sounds like you need to move to a cheaper place to live in a different town. And to pay off that debt, you'll probably need two jobs. Or declare bankruptcy. When you're young, you probably don't have good credit anyway, so it's not much to lose. But the rent thing varies by town.

[pink_sugar]

If your rent is more than what you make, sounds like you need to move to a cheaper place to live in a different town. And to pay off that debt, you'll probably need two jobs. Or declare bankruptcy. When you're young, you probably don't have good credit anyway, so it's not much to lose. But the rent thing varies by town.

 

You can't bankrupt on student loans...if that's what the debt the OP is talking about. Husband and I also went through a bad patch and our credit isn't so great, but we are still young and I don't plan to get a house anytime soon anyways...maybe in 5-7 years. We're working on improving our credit right now. But I agree, you might need to move to where it's cheaper. We were forced to do just that when I lost my job last year.

[jellybean89]

Does sound like you did this to yourself.

 

You admit to being the jokester---the the rep most 24 year old females want.

 

So you didn't get the responsibilities the new girl did - suck it up buttercup. Life is full of unfairness. Did anyone ever tell you life is fair?

 

You said there are tasks that can be done, but they are boring or 'futile'. That right there shows your attitude to management. Instead of being the jokester, be the go-getter. No one is making you stay and work there. No one is telling you to behave immaturely.

 

You have a 4 year degree - and now you want more school? For what? What is your goal? Professional student? What kind of career do you want? Have you even figured that out? If not, that is the top of your list. Once you do that, then put into action things YOU can do towards that goal.

 

Instead of pouting at work that you didn't get the additional management responsibilities, do everything in YOUR POWER to make your managers see that you are responsible and would be interested in additional responsibilities. Stop blaming her for what was given to her -- no one can make someone give her new responsibilities - she obviously wanted it and went after it..which is what you should be doing for YOUR career.

 

If you are finding that your expenses are more than you can financially handle, start cutting back. Pick up extra shifts at the restaurant you work at. Do you get coffee at Sartbucks? Stop and buy a coffee maker. Ridiculous that people spend $5 + for a cup of coffee! Take the time to comparison shop for groceries.

 

If all of that still doesn't help - go volunteer at a soup kitchen or domestic violence shelter or homeless shelter. Guarantee seeing how others are less fortunate will make you feel better about your situation.

 

The ball is in your court -- its up to you to make your own path.

[Tayla]

OP:

review your budget- There are huge savings in your budget if you are willing to change spending habits.

- Ignore the phrase 'suck it up". Instead, dig in! Find ways to bring out the good strengths you have to regroup your work habits!

-It will take time to re-adjust any behavior changes...be gentle on yourself...set small goals...

 

there are some awesome posters that have been in your shoes, some wise suggestions are from those who have been there....Ask around. None of us got rich overnight yet some of us did get poor overnight and we found ways to work thru it and not suck it up so to speak