Why is she treating me this way ?

[Onlyafterdark]

My story

So i met this lovely sweet girl 14 years ago she was 17. I had recently come out of a bad relationship, where i had been cheated on numerous times.So this girl was gorgeous but i didnt want to get into anything serious.So basically the first 6 mnths or so i kept strong acted like didnt care showed no love, then one night i came back to her flat she locked me out wouldn't let me in i didnt understand why till she moved away from the door and i walked in,to my surprise she had a guy there fast asleep on the sofa.

 

Her explanation, a friend from her old town had come to see her her female friend was there too so i believed what she told me.Anyway my guard went up further no woman was gonna hurt me again.

 

Time passed on and i grew very fond of her, she then became pregnant which took me by surprise.I wasnt ready for this felt like i was being trapped it made me think,one night i was out with my friends when i got a call to goto hospital she was having a misscariage.

 

On arrival at the hospital, looking back i was so insensitive a real prick tbh.I literally was half cut talked with her a while and left ( i know what your all thinking i know it myself)

 

Part of me was relieved il be honest, it was a lucky escape, time went by and i really grew fond of her i had decided to really spend time with her i began to fall in love she was my soul mate best friend and lover.

 

The years went by and we had her brother live with us who was causing us stress and coming between us at times.We had a son who changed my life over night, gone was the going out i was happy me her my son it was all id wanted, we then also got rid of her brother who had punched her in her stomach enough was enough. I was so glad it was just us after all this time.We did have very minor on and offs between us where i went to my mums as couples do but nothing serious.

Then came bit of a shock for her, her real dad who i think she met a few times had passed on, she got the call while in my car, i asked her not to go and see him lay dead in his flat i knew it would be something that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

 

Anyway she was with her family all day as i remember it she went to her mums i guess i didnt get my head round the fact it was her dad even though there was very little contact.

I acted selfishly wanting her to come home to me and our son, rather than do what she needed to do.But the way i saw it at the time was we ment nothing to her shed rather be with her family(selfish i know) .After that again she decided to split with me spent spent the next few wknds in the pub i had our son i wasnt happy with her.But as usual we sorted it out got back together.

 

We had a good few happy years or so at least ithought we did then we separated i cant remember the details but that night she went out i rang her mum seeing if she was ok.

The next morning i went upto the house very early i knew shed be hung over, so i thought id do her a favour and take our son let her sleep it off, i knocked she came to the window took a while to answer.I went in followed her upstairs started talking getting my son ready, i then noticed my sons door shut, i walked in a guy was in the bed!

I was devastated left in tears, i spoke with my wife about it she admitted to kissing him but didnt want more asked him to stay in our sons room.

So i yet again believed her, but a week later we was getting ready to go out patch stuff up, i was at the bottom of the stairs and heard her say to the sitter what ever you do dont tell him he stayed in my bed.

 

I went out with my wife questioned her on it she still stook to that story till i told her id heard her on the stairs.She then admitted it but said nothing happened, i left we split up.

2 weeks later i was walking past the local pub i saw my wife sat with this guy so i waited outside, when they came out i confronted them. My wife claims i put my hands round her throat but i know this was not the case( i actually knocked her pizza out of her hands) at this stage he kicked and punched me, i was on the ground i couldnt fight back, i had nothing in me after seeing them together id of lay there and let him kick me too death that was how i felt. I pleaded and begged her not to go with him but she did.The next morning she rang me as though nothing had happened even giggling with her mum i had just been through the worst night of my life.

But after a few days we ended up back together.

 

She fell pregnant again i was unsure as the dates was all the possibility she had slept with him and me . But i tried to put it all behind me and move on, occasionally in petty arguments it got brought up i wanted to talk about it she didnt. For the next few years i lost my job my respect my love for my wife times was not good.My wife was friends with a girl who was known locally as a bit of a tramp,i didnt like my wife hanging out with her but i knew if i kept asking where she was etc id push her away with being controlling.

Anyway we got engaged plans afoot to get married my wife was so happy, leading upto the time before we got married my wifes friend came round regular for drinks i made the effort to get to know her proper and try to accept her for my wife.

Conversations after drinks always seemed to lead upto sexual talk, 3 sums where discussed a lot. Anyway we got married and things where good but 2 weeks after marrying me my wife her friend and other friends went out for drinks,everyone was drunk had fun we all went back to our house, the other guys left and my wifes friend asked to stay over.

She went upstairs putting her pjs on etc and i followed within 5 mins as i was tired too. I opened our bedroom door and she was there in our bed, i asked around 3-4 times for her to go.

My wife came up and got into bed (personally i thought now they are stiching me up) i asker her to tell her friend to go but they giggled, i said right im getting in bed making love to my wife so you best go! I got in bed began kissing my wife touching her, then then next thing they are both kissing.I wax shocked got put of bed went to the loo, i stood there for a moment then heard moaning so i instantly went back in the room put the light on, her friend jumped up it was obvious she had been south, i punched the wall and told her to get the hell out of my house.

 

The next day i treated my wife as though she was scum, i asked her to goto bed with me we had rougher sex inside i felt digusted with her but i too felt had i been to blame was it my fault. Time passed and we was ok so i thought, then june last year my wife said she no longer was in love with me but still loved me.

 

I did the usual txting pleading anger bitterness ive read happens to everyone on here, its part of the healing process. We spent 6 months apart in june 2013 it was the hardest time of my life i never looked at anyone kept pushing her by txting i just couldnt let go,felt so low at one point that i came very close to ending my life.

Then right before xmas she opened the gates and we started again she wanted things to go slow which i fully understood, it was great i took a new job the 6 mnths apart made me realise how much i valued her in my life i truely loved this woman.

 

Things as far as i know where good she bought me a new wedding ring we told each other we loved each other i felt close to her again, valentines she wrote in my card she loved me hoped wed have many more together etc, then a few nights later she got a facebook message off her brother one she had only met once or twice in her life.

 

While we was apart her auntied had told me things about her brother not nice stuff, i never once thought he would walk back into her life so when she told me this i said i didnt want to get to know him.She arranged to meet up with him, then one nite she said she was going out for a drink with him i was angry, really thought she was gonna get hurt.

Anyway she seemed to change towards me hardly txting me i cuddled her in bed nothing then one night she wanted to know why i wouldnt get to know her brother.

I explained even said id try for her sake if she did get hurt id be there to pickup the pieces etc. At this point she said no you couldnt offer the support then dont offer it now. A family meeting was called on her side, the truth came out her auntie had exaggerated things about the brother i thought at this point things would now be fine.

 

Everyone left and my wife said she no longer wanted to stay so im not out the door wondering to myself what have i done so bad to warrant this.Since this has happened ive txt everyday had anger moments shown myself up around her friends by this i mean ive said things i regret, telling her friends what shes done to me etc i know why ive done it but cant take it back now, to me its all the anger of being kicked out again i love this woman she is my world our 2 kids too.At present she spends a lot of time with her brother so i dont even think ive a chance of sorting things out.

 

Ive sent stories off here to try to make her see how i feel im devastated i dont know if she understands why ive reacted with anger said nasty things i dont mean any of it at all. Shes now acting like i dont exist its hard to swallow thanks for taking the time to read this any help for a desperate man please

[evanescentworld]

TL; DR.

 

Synopsis? What's the main, real problem, hun?