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Are there any men who are NOT bitter jaded woman haters "out there?"

autumnnight

By autumnnight
in General Relationship Discussion

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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There are men here who like women, and I'm sure there are more out in the world.

 

True.....but lets not pretend that "all women" are worth liking :rolleyes: I mean even crazy / flaky / stay at home / no job women think a man should like them as is.

 

Perhaps women should stop advising each other to be vindictive to me when things go south i.e. deal with this situation at the root cause, as opposed to the band aid solution.

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autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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A bitter jaded woman towards men that I dated turned me I to a bitter woman hater :(

 

Are you saying that you don't have the character to make your own decisions and that a woman "made you" do it?

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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Are you saying that you don't have the character to make your own decisions and that a woman "made you" do it?

 

 

Ah....Girl power. I'll tell you what I want, what I really want...I wanna I wanna

ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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Are you saying that you don't have the character to make your own decisions and that a woman "made you" do it?

 

I'm being a little sarcastic but a bad relationship has definitely made me apprehensive about getting burned again. This might be the reason I'm not dating right now.

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I assume you are woman so I will say this. If you can only find a bitter jaded man then maybe it's because you are a bitter jaded woman. Like tends to attract like and who you date is a reflection of you at that time. As an individual you have to ask the hard questions about yourself. Would you date yourself? Asking these questions are more beneficial than asking if there are men that are not bitter and jaded because even if you find one they are not going to change the issues you have. It's very easy to fall in that trap and say all men want is have relationships that are polyamorous or they push for sex earlier.

 

It's one thing to blame if it happens on occasion but it's another if this is a regular thing then the common denominator is YOU!!

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autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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I assume you are woman so I will say this. If you can only find a bitter jaded man then maybe it's because you are a bitter jaded woman. Like tends to attract like and who you date is a reflection of you at that time. As an individual you have to ask the hard questions about yourself. Would you date yourself? Asking these questions are more beneficial than asking if there are men that are not bitter and jaded because even if you find one they are not going to change the issues you have. It's very easy to fall in that trap and say all men want is have relationships that are polyamorous or they push for sex earlier.

 

It's one thing to blame if it happens on occasion but it's another if this is a regular thing then the common denominator is YOU!!

 

My original post was very poorly written and way too much of a knee jerk. In real life I don't really know any bitter jaded men. And even on LS, except for maybe 10 prolific posters, there are not that many warped men.

 

But you are 100% accurate. People who choose bitterness often only see bitterness.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Forget about half empty vs. half full. What about just seeing reality?

 

Do you promote living in delusion or do you promote seeing things as they are?

 

Poppycock.

 

You have a preconceived opinion and back everything out of that. Your "reality" leaves a lot to be desired and luckily a large group of men don't agree with you.

 

Such a spoiled entitled naive opinion. :laugh:

 

And you feel like this, fine. Don't worry your little head about what the big bad ole women are doing. You have no need for them. Perfect.

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Anela Established Member

Anela

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True.....but lets not pretend that "all women" are worth liking :rolleyes: I mean even crazy / flaky / stay at home / no job women think a man should like them as is.

 

Perhaps women should stop advising each other to be vindictive to me when things go south i.e. deal with this situation at the root cause, as opposed to the band aid solution.

 

And then there are those of us, who are all too aware of certain things that we think would be a problem, when in fact they might not be. I've probably shot myself in the foot regarding insecurities, and not wanting to be disappointment, when some men probably would have liked me the way I was. This is why I respond to some of the men here, when they might be doing the same thing to themselves, rather than moving in a healthier direction for themselves.

 

Not all women are vindictive, nor do they advise other women to be so.

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Anela Established Member

Anela

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I assume you are woman so I will say this. If you can only find a bitter jaded man then maybe it's because you are a bitter jaded woman.

 

Not true!

..

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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Ah....Girl power. I'll tell you what I want, what I really want...I wanna I wanna
I don't get it??? I agree with the people who are saying that somebody who allows other people to "make" them some way or another have weak character, don't you think that's true? :confused:
carhill Established Member

carhill

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My original post was very poorly written and way too much of a knee jerk. In real life I don't really know any bitter jaded men. And even on LS, except for maybe 10 prolific posters, there are not that many warped men.

 

But you are 100% accurate. People who choose bitterness often only see bitterness.

As the most prolific male poster on LS currently, IMO I certainly was a bit jaded and bitter during my divorce but not regarding other women. In fact, just yesterday my best friend's wife commented that I didn't despise my exW enough after I had shared a few anecdotes about our good times during our M. Evidently, that didn't set well with her. Overall, I see women as a mixed bag, just like men are. All human, none perfect. All die. If we can make some good memories along the way, hey, life is OK.

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Not true!

..

 

Like tends to attract like Anela. If you can't see that then you really need to get on the bench and out of the dating game

MrNate 2.0 Established Member

MrNate 2.0

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I mean ,really. Are there?

 

C'mon, girl.

 

 

You know there are. :cool:

Anela Established Member

Anela

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Like tends to attract like Anela. If you can't see that then you really need to get on the bench and out of the dating game

 

I'm on the bench, because I wasn't attracting men who are like me. I was attracting the opposite.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I'm on the bench, because I wasn't attracting men who are like me. I was attracting the opposite.

Then there is some reason that they were attracted to you. Possibly deep down you may not be looking for a relationship. If you keep repeating the same thing then it's not them but YOU. I attracted married women for a long time because deep down I wasn't really wanting a relationship. Right now you are wanting to blame men but the problem is you and it wont change until you see that.

MrNate 2.0 Established Member

MrNate 2.0

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Oh come on, that's like asking "are there any women who aren't gold diggers out there?" Yes, obviously, and they're everywhere. Even on this forum.

 

 

Who?

 

 

Now I'm curious.:laugh:

Anela Established Member

Anela

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Then there is some reason that they were attracted to you. Possibly deep down you may not be looking for a relationship. If you keep repeating the same thing then it's not them but YOU. I attracted married women for a long time because deep down I wasn't really wanting a relationship. Right now you are wanting to blame men but the problem is you and it wont change until you see that.

 

We've been over this before, Joystick. I didn't blame men, I said that I was attracting men that weren't like me. I also didn't blame myself. I did nothing to invite their attention.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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We've been over this before, Joystick. I didn't blame men, I said that I was attracting men that weren't like me. I also didn't blame myself. I did nothing to invite their attention.

 

There is something you are doing. It's probably not obvious

Anela Established Member

Anela

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There is something you are doing. It's probably not obvious

 

Aside from aging, which seems to turn guys my age off, then, no, I'm not. But thank you for your lack of reassurance, and placing the blame on my shoulders.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Aside from aging, which seems to turn guys my age off, then, no, I'm not. But thank you for your lack of reassurance, and placing the blame on my shoulders.

Accepting the blame is not a bad thing. Nothing changed for me until I did. Most would agree that if it keeps repeating then the problem is you and not the opposite sex. Age is only a problem if you see it as a problem.

Taramere Established Member

Taramere

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We've been over this before, Joystick. I didn't blame men, I said that I was attracting men that weren't like me. I also didn't blame myself. I did nothing to invite their attention.

 

I think you're shy, Anela, and that this might be a factor in the kind of guys you attract. I fluctuate a bit between being fairly extrovert in social situations, and quite shy. I've tended to attract a better type of guy when I've been in a more outgoing, happy frame of mind. Predatory people look for vulnerability, and shyness tends to be equated with that. It's not so different in essence from the situation where a quiet, shy person gets picked on at work or at school.

 

As far as "accepting blame" for being shy goes, don't fall into that trap. Blame can be fairly attributed where a person has caused harm through their actions. Having a shy temperament is not a blameworthy action, it's simply who you are. But of course, if it results in you being a bit of a target for undesirables at times then it becomes crucial to learn how to assert yourself when necessary.

 

It's not who you attract that speaks to who you are. Particularly not when you consider that the men with the worst characters are often the ones who hit on the most women. It's who you choose to get into a relationship with.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Who?

 

 

Now I'm curious.:laugh:

 

Who isn't a gold digger? Really?

 

Well, me. I am sure I make far more than most men on here and this is independent of my husband's income.

 

My husband's nicname for me is "sugar momma in training". :rolleyes:

 

And I am not unique in this. At least in my area many women make extremely good incomes which also then makes dating harder. Man men struggle with dealing with women who are professionals and who aren't impressed by their money. But a high caliber man sees it as a positive and likes that the bar has been raised for both individuals. You need to bring more to the table than just a checkbook.

 

I have always said I am with a man because I want to be, not because I need to be.

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Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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Nobody needs to be "blamed" for the kind of people who they attract, that is not in their control, but if they continuously get involved with the same wrong kind of person that is something that they need to look at within themselves.

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autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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That's true Rosebud. If we don't work on ourselves after bad experiences we tend to pick the same kind of person next time around even if we can't see it at first.

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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That's true Rosebud. If we don't work on ourselves after bad experiences we tend to pick the same kind of person next time around even if we can't see it at first.

 

Too bad some people don't see it that way. A sign of immaturity

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