aydan13 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 My ex and i broke up over a week ago and here's the situation: she saw it as me cheating on her whereas the real situation is that she doesn't like the girls i talked to. And honestly all my texts to the girls she dislike are really non-sexual and i showed no signs of me even liking them more than an acquaintance. I would say that this is a jealousy case but i do admit that i was taking what she wanted for granted too. We were both madly in love but honestly i never had any other intentions when i texted the friends that she really disliked. I never loved anyone beside her, and i never had the intentions to even hurt her. We promised to go on a getaway next February when i'm on my semester break but now it seems like its not going to happen, and i already bought the tickets! I would admit that this happened not once, but this is the third time but this is the first that she declares that we're over. I was really upset when she did. We were together for almost two years now and this is pretty silly to admit but she's the first girl i've dated before, but i'm not her first though. It breaks my heart to realize that she broke up with me because of jealousy & also because i did something she told me not to. I'm trying my best to obey the no contact rule but really, i'm suffering, man. I'm just really scared that she'll eventually forget me and moves on completely. A part of me still believe that we're never over and she still loves me. She sends me mixed signals that i can merely understand. For example: a few days ago she blocked me on WhatsApp, and that very night she unblocked me for some reason which i could not digest. As a very desperate guy, i went ahead and sent her a msg. She ended up blocking me again. The next morning when i woke up, i found out that she unblocked me again. I didn't do anything but today when i woke up i found out she blocked me again and she's showing no signs of unblocking me again. I'm confused. A few hours ago, i stalked on her twitter page and found that some guy is trying to flirt with her and i'm not happy with it. She's not showing any signs of giving in but that guy is really getting on my nerve. I'm confused, sad, and i miss her terribly. Help me. Link to post Share on other sites
Berke0 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Alright man please listen to me very carefully. It is still extremely early on and she has feelings for you absolutely no doubt about it. Do not speak to her under any circumstance as you may say something you regret and it could make it worse. At this point show her no attention whatsoever, and in a weeks time send flowers to her door with a note saying sorry. Play it right she'll come back 100% 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aydan13 Posted November 29, 2014 Author Share Posted November 29, 2014 Alright man please listen to me very carefully. It is still extremely early on and she has feelings for you absolutely no doubt about it. Do not speak to her under any circumstance as you may say something you regret and it could make it worse. At this point show her no attention whatsoever, and in a weeks time send flowers to her door with a note saying sorry. Play it right she'll come back 100% I'm just really terrified if she forgets me and moves on. How long exactly do you think is a suitable period of time for me to lay low? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 A year. I bet you anything you want if you go total AWOL on her, she will contact you, Loooong before then...... Women are that curious.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author aydan13 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 A year. I bet you anything you want if you go total AWOL on her, she will contact you, Loooong before then...... Women are that curious.... A year? Oh my. You gotta understand something man, today some guy just asked for her number, she was playing push and pull but i really dont know whether she would give in or not. I feel like jumping into the scene and telling the guy off, but i know she'll just hate me even more. That dude really looks like someone that goes on from a girl to another, just by the way he asked for her number. Cheap flirt. Wanna know why it hurts so bad? Because thats how i got her number two years back. I'm still full geared wanting to get her back. I'm just really scared time will create a huge wall and she'll forget me eventually and say that i didnt fight for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Berke0 Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 I'm just really terrified if she forgets me and moves on. How long exactly do you think is a suitable period of time for me to lay low? A week will give her a good amount of time to reflect. Remember actions speak louder than words, just be nice to her and tell her wwhat she wants to hear and she'll give you another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) This week thing is absurd. No one has major life epiphanies in a week. If you haven't apologized, apologize and then go silent for a while. If you have, keep your mouth shut and don't text. Nothing is going to change in a week. This is the third time this has happened, obviously this relationship is in a crappy pattern and both of you need time to reflect -- her on her jealous, you on keeping her aware of what you are doing and making her secure with you. It would be absolutely pointless for you to do some grand gesture like sending her flowers and "telling her what she wants to hear". Even if she took you back again, you'd be in the exact same situation in no time, because neither one of you have done one thing to break this pattern. You'd be putting lipstick on a pig. If you've said your peace to her, leave the ball in her court. No flowers. And for God's sake, stop checking her social media. She's not going to forget you -- you were dating for two years! Leave her alone, get your s--t straight, and stop being your own worst enemy. Edited December 1, 2014 by Simon Phoenix 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aydan13 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 This week thing is absurd. No one has major life epiphanies in a week. If you haven't apologized, apologize and then go silent for a while. If you have, keep your mouth shut and don't text. Nothing is going to change in a week. This is the third time this has happened, obviously this relationship is in a crappy pattern and both of you need time to reflect -- her on her jealous, you on keeping her aware of what you are doing and making her secure with you. It would be absolutely pointless for you to do some grand gesture like sending her flowers and "telling her what she wants to hear". Even if she took you back again, you'd be in the exact same situation in no time, because neither one of you have done one thing to break this pattern. You'd be putting lipstick on a pig. If you've said your peace to her, leave the ball in her court. No flowers. And for God's sake, stop checking her social media. She's not going to forget you -- you were dating for two years! Leave her alone, get your s--t straight, and stop being your own worst enemy. She's destroying me mentally just over thinking the fact that the guy that flirted with her might be doing what i'm supposed to do; to make her happy. I just really love her. I couldn't stand the silence, it's torturing me no matter what i try to do. I tried to distract myself from doing something else but everything i do seems to remind me of her. When i asked whether she hates me or not, she never answered. Instead she kept quiet and told me to move on and leave her alone. Knowing her, she likes to send indirect messages and makes me try to read between the lines (which i suck at). So overthinking this makes me go crazy. I just want the chance to fix things up and prove to her than i'm a changed man. It hurts like hell, man. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 She's destroying me mentally just over thinking the fact that the guy that flirted with her might be doing what i'm supposed to do; to make her happy. I just really love her. I couldn't stand the silence, it's torturing me no matter what i try to do. I tried to distract myself from doing something else but everything i do seems to remind me of her. When i asked whether she hates me or not, she never answered. Instead she kept quiet and told me to move on and leave her alone. Knowing her, she likes to send indirect messages and makes me try to read between the lines (which i suck at). So overthinking this makes me go crazy. I just want the chance to fix things up and prove to her than i'm a changed man. It hurts like hell, man. You aren't changed though. It just happened. And if you actually go No Contact and stop stalking her social media, then you can't see these "indirect messages". She's blocked you, she's telling you to leave her alone. You need to respect that. This is a tough time and I feel for you, we've all been there, but unfortunately, the only thing you can do right now is to do exactly what she said -- leave her alone and move forward. The more you try to meddle, the less successful you'll be. You need to take a deep breath and decompress, as does she. It sucks, but there's nothing you can do right now except getting your head straight and working on what you need to work on. And she needs to do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
love2ride Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Telling her anything right now will push her away. DOn't do it. I tried after two months and it sorta worked but she was still not ready. She was in that euphoric stage after the relationship when she felt freedom and hadn't had a chance to miss me yet. We had three dates and slept together twice. I got pushy and she pulled away. I sent letters and emails and got even more pushy. She closed the door completely. I sent her a christmas card apologizing for my erratic behaviour saying it was my emotions and have now gone no contact. I still want her back but she needs to date and see other guys. She needs a rebound and to see that maybe she does miss me and that I wash't a bad guy. It will take a few months but she is the nosy type and i'm sure if i disappear for long enough she will come snooping. So i'm hoping after the euphoric excitement of dating someone new wears off they will have problems and breakup. Now in the meantime I need to heal and work on myself. If and when she decides she wants me back I can make my decision then. Hey maybe I won't want her anymore and I can get her to chase me. Its all about a stupid power struggle. Unfortunately with women they don't miss you right away. It takes them more time. So I would just go no contact and wait even if its hard. If you try now guaranteed she hasn't missed you yet because she's enjoying all the new attention she's getting. She has to live that for awhile then realize hey I miss my ex, these guys aren't like him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aydan13 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Update: today, i found out she got into a relationship with someone. I was coping the no contact thing until today. I broke down like crazy. Facts that really got me upset were: 1. She got into a relationship with the guy she knew i hated the most. The guy that was after her before i was in the picture, and she friendzoned the guy over and over again. And now he's with her. Somehow i feel so upset and angry, not towards her alone but to the guy too. Because when we were together i clearly told him off, to just go away. 2. They got together, exactly a month after me n her broke up. They got together a few days ago, 17th December. Me n her broke up on the 17th of November. Coincidence? At this moment i fail to see it as one. I feel so upset, and angry and sad altogether. I just want to see that rebound crash and burn. I was just about to get a hold of my life until i heard the news. Funny thing was, her mum was still in contact with me because she never knew about the break up. And her mum told me that she still wears the bracelets i gave her, she still wears my t-shirt to bed, and the dress i gave her to events. I'm so confused. Her mum also told me she still hugs the soft toys i gave her, and she still has my picture in her room. What i know is, she is trying to hide the relationship from me. But i found out anyway. What now? Pls.. Link to post Share on other sites
apedrerov Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Too much drama on this one. Not worth it at all, in my opinion. I know it really sucks but now that she is with her new guy, it's time to run away and move on. You can see it as a great chance. A chance to do all the things she didn't like you (yes, those she whined about) to do, to enjoy life as much as you can and to take it easy. Just a few examples, but I'm sure you have plenty more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Tell yourself that she choose this guy over you. You don't want someone back that chooses someone else over you, you just don't. Tell yourself that she had a shot at you and blew it. NC starting over now for healing and then get ready to get back on the horse down the road a bit. Tell your friends that you do not want to hear anything more about her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ducktape Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 1. She got into a relationship with the guy she knew i hated the most. The guy that was after her before i was in the picture, and she friendzoned the guy over and over again. And now he's with her. Somehow i feel so upset and angry, not towards her alone but to the guy too. Because when we were together i clearly told him off, to just go away. Is it me or is that a bit hypocritical? You tell that guy to bugger off, but you continue to talk to all them girls when you know your girlfriend doesn't like it and is a source of conflict? Maybe the end of the relationship was for the best. You'll grow & learn, and your next relationship with another person will be better because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Your ex is the jealous crazy type that now attempts to make you jealous too. Be glad she showed her true colors that early and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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